Jane Foster lived her life with stars in her eyes. Ever since she was a child, she had tipped her head back and lost herself to the sheer magnitude of space. It was vast, infinite. It made her feel small. While that may have bothered others, it never bothered Jane. She knew she was finite and minuscule in the grand scheme of things. Instead of letting it beat her down, she could fill every second that she had. She would learn, grow and excel everyday because even though she was just a speck of dust in the scope of reality, that didn’t mean she lacked a purpose
you are flesh & bones. you will never know the stars you study, yet you are made of stardust still
In the end, her accolades didn’t save her. They brought her pride during her life, but Jane never made them out to be more than they were. Honorific, yes, but ultimately unable to stop her from getting sick. It didn’t matter how accomplished Jane was. Cancer didn’t check her credentials before it wracked her body. It didn’t ask to see her Nobel Peace Prize before it stripped her down and turned her inside out. Cancer didn’t ask for permission. It just took and took and took no matter how hard she fought back. And Jane, for the record, fought. It just wasn’t always in the right way.
— whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of thor —
Before Mjolnir, Jane hadn’t doubted herself. She knew she was a good person. Imperfect, of course, but she was intelligent and kind. She tried to do her best to give back. Maybe she wasn’t worthy like the man she had fallen in love with, but that was okay. She wasn’t a deity whose life expands on into eternity. Jane didn’t need cosmic power. She needed her brains and her friends, and for a long time, that was enough. It wasn’t until she tasted possibility that her fate was sealed.
Hammer v survival. Help people v live longer.Â
There were choices to be made. The second Mjolnir’s handle fit into her palm, Jane knew she was a lost cause. This was what it felt like to be a god, to have a power to help people. Words had power. She lived and ( eventually ) died by that. Her scholarly and academic pursuits did not diminish in importance in her mind, but what she felt as Thor was something else entirely. It didn’t make her power hungry; instead, it helped provide her with new perspective. Jane was willing to die for the sake of others — and die she did.
ashes to ashes, dust to dust. you burned fast and bright all too soon. this is not the end. not yet.
The first person had called was Darcy. Of course it was Darcy. Jane was disoriented and needed her friend. It was Darcy who had brought her to New York, helped her get back on her feet. As soon as Jane had been able, she had looked for Thor. It had been disappointing but not surprising to learn he was off-world. Valkyrie had insisted on making the flight to the States to greet her friend due to Jane being too weak to handle the almost ten hour flight. I’ll find him, the King had told Jane. I’ll find him.
And, true to her word, she had. It had taken a little, but it had just given Jane a little time to get healthy enough to travel. She moved through JFK in a ball of anxiety, half ridden with guilt that she was coming back into Thor’s life after traumatically leaving it. She couldn’t be guilty about being alive though, could she? Not when it was a gift in and of itself.Â
The car takes her to New Asgard, but she slowly makes her way down the hill towards the golden man who sits on a rock. He’s not the only one she’s loved, but he’s her love all the same. Jane observes the tilt of his shoulders where he sits, eyes tracing the outline of his shape against the vivid blue of the sky. In the hill on a distance is a statue of the Mighty Thor. Of Jane. She feels far from that woman as she clutches her cane and takes careful steps. For a moment, a part of her wants to leave him sitting there. He looks peaceful, and Thor is a man oft denied that. But she can’t. She’s traveled the world for a reason. Jane is here because she needs to open this wound once more.
It feels ridiculous to say after how they parted. Hi. For Thor, a little time has passed. He’s been traveling with Gorr’s daughter, learning how to be a father. It’s Jane who’s been in stasis, frozen in time and trapped by her own mortality. She hopes he’s forgiven her for leaving, even if she had no choice. Similarly, she can’t blame him if it’s too fresh. What they had was raw: it was bright and beautiful and bogged down by intense feelings. Sometime it felt they were as fleeting as the night sky, a comet burning bright before it vanishes from views. Jane Foster is a Doctor, an astrophysicist. Everything she knows means nothing at the sight of his face. Again, her mouth open and closes. Nothing comes out. She is, for one of the few times in her life, utterly speechless. Jane Foster, the woman of a hundred dreams and a thousand ideas, can do nothing but stare and hope she’s not too late to walk back into the potential they had together.Â
Seeing her again strikes him harder than he anticipated.
Being away from New Asgard and Earth as a whole had been easier when Jane wasn’t around. Traveling had filled his desire for adventure and also been a protective measure against everything he would be forced to feel by being on a planet that Jane had left.
And yet, it was still hard to be here. Not sad, not painful, but overwhelming.
As soon as Jane comes close, Thor is on his feet. He’s stunned for a few long moments, not saying anything even after she greets him. The last time Thor saw her, she was dying in his arms. She had been a hero— and still is.
But now she was alive once again and the God of Thunder was almost brought to his knees by the weight of that one simple fact.
Thor closed the small distance that remained between them with a few long strides, and then enveloped her in his arms. Carefully. She appeared fragile and he could feel it the moment they touched. He didn’t dare hurt her when she was in this state.
During their embrace, he felt tears well in his eyes and then silently start to fall down his cheeks. One hand gently cupped the back of Jane’s head and then he placed a soft kiss on top of it before pulling back.
“Please—” He sniffled and then started guiding her over to where he had been sitting. “You don’t need to stand, let’s sit.”
