9 years ago I tried to kill myself. I was in and out of hospitals and treatment centers from then on. I was self destructive, I lost people I loved, and I did whatever I had to do to cope with my misery. I dated a guy who forced himself on me and who abused me whenever I did something he didn’t like. I went away to college to try to start over and realized I couldn’t get out of bed to go to class. I tried to transfer back home but I stopped eating and wound up back in treatment. I dropped out of college and couldn’t work much more than a part time job. I struggled daily to get out of bed. I hated myself. I stopped sleeping, self harmed frequently, I was a mess. I thought I would never get better, and I never expected it to make it to my 21st birthday. But now I’m in a healthy, beautiful relationship with the girl of my dreams. I go to school full time, play college softball, work part time. I’m applying for nursing school while training to be a lifeguard. I have some money saved for when I’m ready to move out with my girlfriend. I never made any plans for a future, because I was positive I wouldn’t have one. Luckily, I am in an amazing place in my life. I should have never made it this far, but I am so thankful for all the reasons that I am. For anyone who thinks they can’t go on any longer, for anyone who swears there’s no way it’ll get better, it does. Please wait, you deserve to be alive to see it.
