Mental Health and How an Artist Copes

I'm an alt model, a burlesque performer, singer/songwriter, illustrator, painter, a makeup and sfx artist, and this is my life. You're about to read a daily journal about how I'm helping myself overcome depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and other health issues while making a living.

[lovingseverinstargher]

No filter! (And Sans lipstick - so far) But here's my #CatEye look for today! Hopefully I can be an efficient makeup artist with just my good hand. What colour lipstick should I wear today for work? #KVDLook #MakeupbySeverin #Torontonian #Makeup #MUA #MakeupArtist #MakeupArtistLife #PaleLife #MarcJacobs #ReMarcableFoundation #LockItFoundation #NudeLip #TorontoLife #DemBrows #TattooLiner #Trooper #TrooperLiner #NoFilter

[lovingseverinstargher]

Now I'm Nothing

All that I can do... Is break myself in two... I -- fucked it all away. Now I'm nothing. Trent Reznor, Nine Inch Nails

[lovingseverinstargher]

Very beautifully done series depicting anxiety.

[lovingseverinstargher]

UnFuck Your Evening

Before you head to work in the morning: - write down your ideas for dinner. - if you're missing any ingredients, you'll know what you need to pick up on your way home. - pull whatever you might need for dinner from the freezer, and place it in the fridge to thaw (if applicable). - write down what chore you plan on completing by the night's end (even if it's a smaller task). - choose a playlist, or a film/tv show that you might want to listen to/watch when you return home, download it, or set it up so its ready to go. - leave a fresh pair of pajamas (folded) on your bed so you can change into them the minute you're feeling tired, or want to get comfy. - write down any reminders of things you need to accomplish by night's end, allowing you to feel more focussed throughout the day, knowing that you have a plan.

[mentalhealthresource]

[lovingseverinstargher]

Stay youthful and always listen to your inner child.

Let yourself get excited over the silly stuff.

[lovingseverinstargher]

When Feeling Low:

-Remind yourself of your good qualities - even the small ones. -Give yourself a pat on the back for accomplishing things - even the small stuff. -Remember that there are better days ahead. -Forgive yourself for the mistakes you make - no matter how big or small they might have been. -Let go of the negative things other people or situations have done to you. Holding onto them is only hurting you and hold you back. -Be kind to others: give genuine compliments, hold doors open, smile, take the time to thank someone for even the smallest gesture (even a bus driver when you get off at your stop), and remind your loved ones how much they mean to you. -Take some time for yourself, and enjoy something fun or interesting.

[brutereason]

Sometimes a friend with depression will say no to a lot of things and decline all or most of your invitations. This can make you feel like you’re overstepping boundaries and should immediately leave them alone until they reach out to you themselves. Pay attention to this feeling: it’s true that when people keep saying no to things you ask, it’s probably a good idea to stop asking. However, depression can also cause people to say no while wishing they could say yes. The way to deal with this is not to assume, but to just ask directly: “You’ve said no the past few times I’ve invited you to do something. That’s okay, but I just wanted to check: would you like me to keep inviting you?” I’ve done this before with other people dealing with depression and found that they often respond that they do want me to keep asking, and they hope that one of these days they’ll be able to say yes.

Some Advice on Supporting Friends with Depression (via misandry-mermaid)

So true, and very important.

[lovingseverinstargher]

Productive/positive things I did today despite feeling unmotivated:

(This is me celebrating myself for doing things that would normally have caused me stress, or would have caused me to stay immobile)

-got up at 9 (rather than the usual 11)

-stretched my body

-played with puppy for longer than usual

-washed bed linens, stu’s clothes for his trip, and some bath towels

-put on makeup (on a day off from my MUA job)

-left the house and saw friends, who did my hair for me

-baked homemade dessert, and ate 3 healthy meals today

-practiced my singing

[lovingseverinstargher]

The Self Help Check List

for when you feel like

“Everything is Awful and I’m Not Okay”

(Questions to ask before giving up)

(Above Artwork by Stu Edwards and Danielle St-Laurent)

Are you hydrated? If not, have a glass of water.

Have you eaten in the past three hours? If not, get some food — something with protein, not just simple carbs. Perhaps some nuts or hummus?

Have you showered in the past day? If not, take a shower right now.

Have you stretched your legs in the past day? If not, do so right now. If you don’t have the energy for a run or trip to the gym, just walk around the block, then keep walking as long as you please. If the weather’s crap, drive to a big box store (e.g. Target) and go on a brisk walk through the aisles you normally skip.

Have you said something nice to someone in the past day? Do so, whether online or in person. Make it genuine; wait until you see something really wonderful about someone, and tell them about it.

Have you moved your body to music in the past day? If not, jog for the length of an EDM song at your favorite tempo, or just dance around the room for the length of an upbeat song.

Have you cuddled a living being in the past two days? If not, do so. Don’t be afraid to ask for hugs from friends or friends’ pets. Most of them will enjoy the cuddles too; you’re not imposing on them.

Have you seen a therapist in the past few days? If not, hang on until your next therapy visit and talk through things then.

Have you changed any of your medications in the past couple of weeks, including skipped doses or a change in generic prescription brand? That may be screwing with your head. Give things a few days, then talk to your doctor if it doesn’t settle down.

If daytime: are you dressed? If not, put on clean clothes that aren’t pajamas. Give yourself permission to wear something special, whether it’s a funny t-shirt or a pretty dress.

If nighttime: are you sleepy and fatigued but resisting going to sleep? Put on pajamas, make yourself cozy in bed with a teddy bear and the sound of falling rain, and close your eyes for fifteen minutes — no electronic screens allowed. If you’re still awake after that, you can get up again; no pressure.

Do you feel ineffective? Pause right now and get something small completed, whether it’s responding to an e-mail, loading up the dishwasher, or packing your gym bag for your next trip. Good job!

Do you feel unattractive? Take a goddamn selfie. Your friends will remind you how great you look, and you’ll help fight society’s restrictions on what beauty can look like.

Do you feel paralyzed by indecision? Give yourself ten minutes to sit back and figure out a game plan for the day. If a particular decision or problem is still being a roadblock, simply set it aside for now, and pick something else that seems doable. Right now, the important part is to break through that stasis, even if it means doing something trivial.

Have you over-exerted yourself lately — physically, emotionally, socially, or intellectually? That can take a toll that lingers for days. Give yourself a break in that area, whether it’s physical rest, taking time alone, or relaxing with some silly entertainment.

Have you waited a week? Sometimes our perception of life is skewed, and we can’t even tell that we’re not thinking clearly, and there’s no obvious external cause. It happens. Keep yourself going for a full week, whatever it takes, and see if you still feel the same way then.

You’ve made it this far, and you will make it through. You are stronger than you think.

[lovingseverinstargher]

Made delicious carrot cake with Violet, and while it was on the cooling rack, we did a throw back and listened to some of our favorite songs from high school, and sang them out loud. Singing has always made me happy. <3 Especially nostalgic songs that bring back great memories.

[lovingseverinstargher]

Spent some quality time with my friend violet, made an absolutely delicious carrot & banana cake from scratch, now having a late dinner while we wait for it to bake. Creating something from nothing, made with a lot of love with those who are close to us, is a wonderful feeling.

[unfuckyourhabitat]

Unfuck tomorrow morning

Wash the dishes in your sink

Get your outfit for tomorrow together, including accessories

Set up coffee/tea/breakfast

Make your lunch

Put your keys somewhere obvious

Wash your face and brush your teeth

Take your medication/set out your meds for the morning

Charge your electronics

Pour a little cleaner in the toilet bowl (if you don’t have pets or children or sleepwalking adults)

Set your alarm

Go to bed at a reasonable hour

[lovingseverinstargher]

Creating a more productive and positive environment. <3

[lovingseverinstargher]

Breaking the Habbit

Cognitive therapy is very helpful when dealing with an anxiety disorder that will constantly tell you what's wrong with your world. I am in the process of constantly breaking down these negative thoughts and reminding myself of what is real. Rationalizing my situations have wen difficult, but are very effective in reducing my lows.

[lovingseverinstargher]

Healthy breakfast, a bit of exercise, and some sketching. Pretty good start to my day.

[mentalhealthresource]

[lovingseverinstargher]

Reminding myself of this as often as possible.

[lovingseverinstargher]

He's what keeps me alive, with all his patience, hope, and love. What a lucky girl I am to be loved by someone as beautiful as him. Healing heart.

[sixteensmallstepstohappiness]

1. push yourself to get up before the rest of the world - start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise. 2. push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable. 3. get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else. 4. stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything. 5. buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice. 6. buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small. 7. strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. make your bed in full. 8. organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle. 9. have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck. 10. push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog. 11. message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through. 13. think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything. 14. become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends. 15. lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. open your eyes. take small steps to make it happen for you.

Fifteen Small Steps to Happiness (via hhhhhhhhhhhelen) These are all completely beautiful things that I want to do to help myself through depression. -- And some, I have been doing already. Proud of myself. I'm excited about doing these things. And hopeful too. <3