“Everything is Awful and I’m Not Okay”
(Questions to ask before giving up)
(Above Artwork by Stu Edwards and Danielle St-Laurent)
Are you hydrated?
If not, have a glass of water.
Have you eaten in the past three hours?
If not, get some food — something with protein, not
just simple carbs. Perhaps some nuts or hummus?
Have you showered in the past day?
If not, take a shower right now.
Have you stretched your legs in the past day?
If not, do so right now. If you don’t have the energy
for a run or trip to the gym, just walk around the block,
then keep walking as long as you please. If the
weather’s crap, drive to a big box store (e.g. Target)
and go on a brisk walk through the aisles you normally
skip.
Have you said something nice to someone in
the past day?
Do so, whether online or in person. Make it genuine;
wait until you see something really wonderful about
someone, and tell them about it.
Have you moved your body to music in the
past day?
If not, jog for the length of an EDM song at your
favorite tempo, or just dance around the room for the
length of an upbeat song.
Have you cuddled a living being in the past
two days?
If not, do so. Don’t be afraid to ask for hugs from
friends or friends’ pets. Most of them will enjoy the
cuddles too; you’re not imposing on them.
Have you seen a therapist in the past few
days?
If not, hang on until your next therapy visit and talk
through things then.
Have you changed any of your medications in
the past couple of weeks, including skipped
doses or a change in generic prescription
brand?
That may be screwing with your head. Give things a
few days, then talk to your doctor if it doesn’t settle
down.
If daytime: are you dressed?
If not, put on clean clothes that aren’t
pajamas. Give yourself permission to wear
something special, whether it’s a funny t-shirt or a
pretty dress.
If nighttime: are you sleepy and fatigued but
resisting going to sleep?
Put on pajamas, make yourself cozy in bed with a
teddy bear and the sound of falling rain, and close
your eyes for fifteen minutes — no electronic screens
allowed. If you’re still awake after that, you can get
up again; no pressure.
Do you feel ineffective?
Pause right now and get something small completed,
whether it’s responding to an e-mail, loading up the
dishwasher, or packing your gym bag for your next
trip. Good job!
Do you feel unattractive?
Take a goddamn selfie. Your friends will remind
you how great you look, and you’ll help fight
society’s restrictions on what beauty can look like.
Do you feel paralyzed by indecision?
Give yourself ten minutes to sit back and figure out a
game plan for the day. If a particular decision or
problem is still being a roadblock, simply set it aside
for now, and pick something else that seems
doable. Right now, the important part is to break
through that stasis, even if it means doing something
trivial.
Have you over-exerted yourself lately —
physically, emotionally, socially, or
intellectually?
That can take a toll that lingers for days. Give
yourself a break in that area, whether it’s physical
rest, taking time alone, or relaxing with some silly
entertainment.
Have you waited a week?
Sometimes our perception of life is skewed, and we
can’t even tell that we’re not thinking clearly, and
there’s no obvious external cause. It happens. Keep
yourself going for a full week, whatever it takes, and
see if you still feel the same way then.
You’ve made it this far, and you will make it through. You are stronger than you think.