Degradation as a fetish on a psychological level is so fascinating to me. I love my partner knowing they're always "beneath" me and I actively encourage them to stay degraded under me. To put my wants and needs before their own wants, but that doesn't mean they lose any respect, support, or love from me. They are subservient and obedient to me but they also know they are the most cherished and valued part of my life.
I love reminding my partner she's inferior and she's my property and seeing her eyes light up and her face blush profusely. I love manhandling her off of the couch and onto the floor in between my legs while we watch TV. She feels so seen when I do and say those things because she has a deep need to be degraded for me as much as I have a deep desire to degrade her.
And truth be told degradation is a learning experience to figure out how to balance when they're so head over heels for you. It takes a lot of practice and intentionality to reach a point where we're both prioritizing the other's needs correctly in a dynamic where they're deferent to me while I'm caring for them and to do so in a way that we're not only surviving, but we're thriving.
So it's also a kink you must finetune the balancing of the give and take for each individual. But it's so INTANGIBLY worth it when you can have both a healthy relationship and also have that deep primal satisfaction that comes from someone staying degraded and subservient in the relationship that BOTH partners desire.
It's hard to describe the emotion that it conjures up in people who seek this kink out, but I liken it to a state of subdued, passive euphoria. It just feels right in your core being. It feels like constant warm comfort and the absence of anxiety and the presence of someone else being proud of you. And it feels dysphoric when you're in situations with your degradation partner where that dynamic is not present.
Degradation is literally the "would you love me if I was a worm" of kinks. Yah I'd love the fuck out of you if you were a worm, and I'll prove it to you. Because if you're as "low" as a worm is, then you're going to do my bidding and I'm going to be authoritative over you. Now look, you did my bidding and I lowered you beneath me, but my love, support, adoration, and respect for you has not changed at all. I literally would love you just the same as if you were a worm. I would give you the best home a worm could have and decorate it how you'd like, make sure you're fed only the best worm food, I'd study on what worms need and history of worms, become an expert on worms and write down my own findings, and join support groups for people whose partners have also become worms.
There's no level you could lower yourself to that could stop my love from reaching you, and that's what our degradation means to our relationship. So lick the dirt off of my boot and call yourself inferior to me, I'm not going to judge you for it, I see the amazing person you are underneath and that's why you're my toy beneath me and under my care.
There will be times you groan and complain that I am making you do what you need to do. But you still do what your superior tells you to do, and you know your place on your knees beneath me will still be warm when you get back. And we both express love to each other by playing our roles as the degrader and their degradee. What a fucking fascinating kink. Damn it's so cool.
Very well said.
What I find even more fascinating is when the degrader/degradee relationship becomes almost inextricably dialectical: when degradation is offered "for real", apparently without care and without love, but ultimately offered as a form of care and love because the degrader understands that's what the degradee ultimately needs to feel whole. And both part are aware of the contradictions of this situation and yet can switch to being unaware of it at any time to genuinely provide the love and care and abuse and degradation that both parties thrive on
As someone who has this with their partner, it's magical. 💛
