Physical touch, Acts of service, and Words of affirmation. He is severely touch starved so getting gentle caresses make him melt, though he would never admit that to anyone. You just pick up on it noticing his drastic behavior changes after a cuddle or wrist holding. Now his acts of service are where he really shines. He leaves little gifts like cat. You ask him to lift something for you? Hand you something? Its easiest for him since he's not the best with words nor is he able to touch you without initial awkwardness. Acts of service also directly ties into words of affirmation he loves, breathes, craves praise you have no idea. He boasts, 'I'm Slenderman's best proxy', 'I bagged the most gorgeous partner', 'I'm strong.' But deep down he feels heavily inferior to everyone there the only thing he's 100% confident in is you being his roman empire. His twisted obsession. He's confident he can keep you while simultaneously fearing you'll find better. But when he does you a service? Praise, appreciation, validation, anything. His heart is puddy in your delicate fingers. He would get on his knees to hear you tell him how much you need him. He starves to be needed. Oh but call him pretty and kiss his scars? You're getting the real Jeffery Woods.
.áâ°á. BEN
Receiving gifts, quality time, and Words of affirmation. He loves getting things from you. A new game though he could instantly have it in his grasp with a finger snap. A new cosplay you'd thought suit him. Because it means you're thinking about him. He wants you to be on his mind as much as you are on his which mind you is quite often. He's selfish. He's an attention hog. But he's also severely insecure, moreso than jeff. Thats why he absolutely adores quality time. He can see you be near you, and keep you focused on him even a bit. He also is egoistic, it's his toxic trait. He loves hearing you tell him how amazing he is, he genuinely feels loved. Saying you love him, saying you're his hero, it feeds his ego while terminating the heavy self doubt.
.áâ°á. L - Jack
Acts of service, Quality time, Physical touch. He was a creation for entertainment, his purpose is to do things for you. He craves to see you in every state, see every emotion. He'll help you experience things society deemed impossible. This ties into his overwhelming feeling of not wanting to be separated from you. He'll follow you around like a demon of death, his fear of abandonment stirring. This eventually leads to touching, which indeed has a touching problem. He'll always have his lanky arms around you, holding youz chin on your head, spooning, cuddles that last for eternity. If he could, he'd let you seep into his very bones. Skin melting and merging until bone grinds on bone, the fragile snapping. Eventually regrowing around each other completely absorbing one another.
.áâ°á. Toby
Words of affirmation, physical touch. He'll do anything to hear you praise him, anything to hear the blissful words, that you love him. He was never really told that, much less having really anyone actually mean it. He needs it like he needs oxygen. He was hardly ever complimented either so he'd whine at them when you say it. Much different to the sight nod or strange look he gives the other mansion members.Now physical touch did take him awhile to get accustomed to. He doesn't remember much besides a foggy face, but his body remembers. Most touching ends in agony he never felt but his body remembers the intention and fear, and the seething rage it caused him. Once he finally gave in, his heart filled with more than just joy. With half a mind to make you his God. He's so extremely starved of it that he'll gladly accept any even if his tics get in the way, he wants to stay pressed against you.
.áâ°á. E - Jack
Acts of service, quailty time, and physical touch. Trust, intention, and accuracy he values highly so when you do something for him, it means you pay attention, simple as washing his clothes or preparing a snack, especially considering his delicacies are less than ideal. When you don't get squeamish while helping him on missions or in his lab which he doesn't want to involve you in often, but he pleasantly enjoys having you assist and be around. Facing the horrors he faces on the daily. Physical touch is more of his demonic instinct need. When he's in a rut, exhausted, or the rare times his gaurd is down. He likes having you pressed as close as physically possible, lips in yiur neck to taste and smell you.
.áâ°á. Liu
Words of affirmation, quailty time. He hates himself more than anything on earth. His self esteem is almost nonexistent. So hearing genuine praise or compliments from you, brothers alike, it affects him. Unlike Jeff, Liu doesn't need it the way jeff does. Liu needs it to accept himself more, when you talk to him sweetly expressing love he feels as though his sins are being washed away, prayers he made ago, finally answering. Just being in the same room and spending some time together already gets him feeling more confident which poses a problem. Sully. He keeps Liu's self esteem low, trying to keep the pain and hurt of betrayal lingering so his desire to give death upon jeff is valid, and to convince Liu to pursue that path.
.áâ°á. Helen
Quality time, Acts of service. Helen, will reciprocate often the kind of love you give him. But he has a problem with being touched too much and receiving things. However acts of service he appreciates. He loves the little things, obviously you're paying attention to HIM, understanding him, seeing him. Not the imaginary version in your head like his parents. He also heavily enjoys quiet quality time, you don't need to talk or do much just sitting in the same room while he works, he's content. Spending time with you, to understand you, and for you to see the real him is his true desire. He wasn't seen or loved for who he was much due to his parentsâmore specifically his mother so having you understand him in such a way is extraordinary to him and slowly gets him obssesive.
.áâ°á. Candypop
Acts of service, receiving gifts, words of affirmation. Oh boy he's the whole package. He sees receiving gifts from you and you doing things for him, the way people worship God's. It makes him feel powerful and, he'd rather take a dagger to the heart then admit it, but it actually makes him feel good because its from you, not some commoner. He talks big and with the dramatics but if you show him gratitude or verbal affection he's suddenly your fool. Of course he tries to remain with the upper hand, teasing you but oh the ways his heart pounds he cannot deny.
.áâ°á. Jason
All 5. He's a romantic at his sickly core. If you do any or all of the 5 love languages surely you're not neglecting him, surely you love him. After all, that's the only opinion that doesnt matter. Normally your opinion matters above all except your opinion on his, you have to love him have to need him and he will do whatever he can to prove that to you. Whether its as simple as holding your hand, or gifting the skulls of your enemies.
I hope you guys enjoyed! Its a tad bit different from the draft because during the posting it deleted everything so I got very emotional. Anyway! What do you think of the new layout!!
Ticci Toby who before he met you was on the slim side. Super skinny and had slight muscle from weilding weapons and being a killer. But the moment he falls for you, he starts actually working out for you not like gym rat bulging muscle but works out to be strong enough to protect you. Like your laying on his bicep while watching some movie and suddenly feel a bulge that wasn't there before. Sitting up to stare at him. "Where'd this come from." You give a small squeeze and he flexes his arm, definitely liking the pressure there. "J-just wanted to keep myself in sh-shape to protect you." His voice was soft almost, but on edge. Dating him made you essentially a target. He would lay down his life for you, your heart is his coffin.
And Jeff oh god he's so sappy. He's more lean, but has a pretty good upper build. Like when he falls for you, (definitely is obsessed immediately but pushes it down because he doesn't want to get you caught up in his sin), he feels pretty sure of his strength and masculinity despite being insecure as hell. But once you bring a daughter into this world? (Yes Jeff's a girl dad, you physically cannot change my mind.) He's working out like an actual gym rat. Everyone's worried. He needs to protect not only you but now his child. Of course this would be after the panic and genuine fear of having a child. He's not all huge and buff but he's got meat on his bones now, bigger than Toby. No one touches his girls. Not like a mafia boss man trust, he's still very much on the slim side, bony ass fingers and shit.
Ik its not realistic guys but fuck realism. Im sick of only toby being the obsessed lover. Give me obsessed and loving Jeff the killer. Gomez addams type shit. (In a more twisted way). Devoted, possessive clingy jeff the killer. His girl is only his, he listens to her only, treats her like his princess...no his goddamn queen. I've never seen this in the fandom. He's always written like a Lil bitch. Guys do we wanna see that? Cuz fuck i do. I wanna explore it so bad. Would yall be okay with me changing my jeff similarly as such? Never seen this before i crave it. Guys please tell me I'm not alone in this. 'Doll/dollface' jeff the killer. Sees you as a goddess not some helpless girlđđđ IF A FIC OR FANART OF THIS EXSITS SHOW ME PLEASE. If not I'll attempt to draw myself with him like that IF I can. AND I'LL WRITE HIM LIKE THAT. Witness the glorious moment I find out that I have free will. SEE MY VISION PLEASE.
đ· fem!reader :: these are MY hcs, u donât have to agree with them :: includes bf hcs :: probably the only thing i write that will describe reader in the second person rather than third person
đžàŸàœČ ej does his piercings. this man has SO MANY. all up his lobe, antitragus, antihelix, helix, and tragus as well as the flat cartilage inside the ear. definitely has a gauge in at least one ear. also has both eyebrows, the bridge of his nose, septum, lips (canine bites), tongue, anti eyebrow on the left side, nipples, and belly button pierced. he has a jacobâs ladder and frenum piercing, as well as back dermals. he has a surface sternum piercing and a nape piercing.
đžàŸàœČ very leftist. he has very punk beliefs, which is ironic. when the others found out, they were surprised. his only explanation was, âiâm a fucking murderer, not a goddamn monster.â these beliefs took time after the incident to develop fully, but he was always kind of against it as he suffered bullying from a young age. his beliefs merely grew more educated and stronger as his life progressed.
đžàŸàœČ on the rare occasion slenderman actually assigns him to a job, he ensures the person is genuine scum off the earth (misogynistic, homophobic, transphobic, racist etc). on his own, he targets people like this too. any rando in a maga hat or anything else radically right-winged, he will chase down and mutilate.
đžàŸàœČ definitely steals stuff from victims for you, especially expensive shit. he loves taking vivienne westwood from posers as well for you because he knows you actually share her beliefs.
đžàŸàœČ listens to mainly alternative music, but his guilty pleasures are paramore and britney spears. mainly because of you.
đžàŸàœČ heâs a prick and he knows it, but youâre a bitch right back so it evens out. though, if you speak to him seriously he will listen.
đžàŸàœČ adding onto the last one, he would not be abusive in any form. screaming matches may get heated, but he would never lay a hand on you. people who hc that heâs abusive are genuinely smooth-brained.
đžàŸàœČ calls you shit like âidiot,â âdumbass,â and other shit like that in front of others, but âbaby,â or âprincess,â when youâre alone.
đžàŸàœČ he does try for holidays. usually itâs more gifts stolen from victims and flowers, but sometimes he burns cds for you.
đžàŸàœČ definitely gets tired after smoking weed. he mellows out a fuck ton. you get giggly and delirious, and he just smiles tiredly while you ramble on and giggle.
đžàŸàœČ loves watching you get dressed up. most of the time itâs for nothing, but he still adores it.
đžàŸàœČ only started focusing on hygiene after he started liking you. you always smelt like heaven and your hair was always perfect, so he assumed youâd want a partner like that. definitely uses 3-in-1, though.
đžàŸàœČ stopped wearing skinny jeans after the first time you guys hooked up because he struggled for a solid five minutes to get them off.
đžàŸàœČ he has your initial carved into his knife and carved them onto the steps of the mansion.
đžàŸàœČ he recuts his glasgow smile if it starts to heal, typically near the ends.
đžàŸàœČ very into video games. heâs played every resident evil game, all the silent hill games, sally face, until dawn, and many puppet combo games. he also plays dead by daylight with ben and rages often. he loves when you join him in games. he acts annoyed when you add him to your sims family and your island on tomodachi life, but he regularly asks ben to check to see how the sims or miis are doing.
đžàŸàœČ can be extremely avoidant and extremely clingy. some days he barely talks, basically just sitting in your presence. other days, he wants to crawl into your skin.
I think that deep down inside, jeff is actually very awkward and bad at socializing. and I know that sounds surprising, but hear me out! jeff wants to seem like he's super cool and confident, and at first he definitely comes off that way, but he's actually kind of bad at making conversation. which is why he hides behind insults, cruel jokes, and sarcasm, so that he can mask how awkward he truly is.
In reality, jeff has never genuinely been the cool kid. I headcanon that he didn't have many friends growing up, and that he was actually an outcast. therefore, he never really learned how to properly socialize with others. which once again, is why he acts so snarky and sarcastic, because he doesn't know how else to interact / communicate with people.
in conclusion, I feel like jeff uses sacarasm and cruelty as a coping method, because without it, his awkwardness shows.
Summary: Basic, SFW, and NSFW head-cannons. My personal thoughts, feelings, and opinions about Jeff as a character.
TW: NSFW below the cut, minors dni! Above the cut is sfw!
Words: 2.6k
A/N: NSFW is reader with female anatomy.
Basic:
- Big isolation guy. He enjoys pestering people or hanging out, but when it comes to personal things like missions or killing sprees, he prefers to be alone. His headâs already loud enough that he doesnât need to add to it when heâs trying to focus.
- Blunt. Like to the point itâs a drag to even talk to him sometimes. He doesnât really give a shit about anyone or anything besides himself, so why would he need to hide what he actually wants to say?
- Dangerously short temper. It barely takes one nasty remark or even a hint that you have ill intent towards him before the killer is on your ass. Would rather beat the shit out of you than take the time to reconcile.
- A STARER. Has absolutely no remorse when just boring his eyes into someone, eyes wide and horrifying. He loves to watch every expression as heâs ending someoneâs life, every bit of anger or fear, but especially the blank stare in their eyes afterward. You catch his glance all the time, and instead of looking away politely like a normal person would, he just smiles as he glares even harder.
- Loves story based video games that Ben shows him. Life is Strange, Night in the Woods, and What Remains of Edith Finch. Has to play them all in their entirety before he can do anything else, so heâll be glued to the couch for days.
- Has a difficult time with names, so he comes up with nicknames or terms to make it easier. âTwitchâ - Toby, âSocketsâ - Jack, or âGlitchâ - Ben. Donât worry, heâll give you one, too.
- A laugher. When heâs in pain, when heâs sad, when heâs happy, that man is laughing. Choked out dry heaving chuckles or tipsy short airheaded giggles, it doesnât matter, he will be laughing.
- Terrible sleep paralysis and nightmares keep him up during the night, the most sleep this man will ever get is a little over 3 hours. It really doesnât help his mood, either.
- The scars on his cheeks used to bleed and get infected so bad he could barely shut his mouth due to the swelling. He would numb it down with pain killers and anything he could find, but it wasnât until Slender tried to make him into a proxy that they eventually sealed and scarred over, creating wide gashes (weird cryptid powers).
- Thinks about his brother every waking moment. He feels so much pent up regret and sadness concerning Liu, but refuses to search for him or even shed a tear. This sends him into mental breakdown episodes, and sadly, the only relief is just to create more carnage.
- Actually really hates violence unless heâs the one delivering it. Doesnât like violent movies or music because they romanticize everything he hates about himself. Any media he enjoys is either really bland or really toned down, stuff that wonât trigger him.
- Cuts his own hair, and yes, heâs horrible at it.
- Messed up his appearance to make himself âbeautifulâ, but just ended up so disgusted and ashamed of himself in the long run. When his mental fog gets bad, heâll just stand in front of the mirror and stare at himself, letting every negative thought wash over. Outside, heâll brandish it like a weapon, something to get victims to submit. But on the inside, itâs just a nasty reminder.
- Showers only when it gets to the uncomfortable point. He doesnât have the time or energy or wash himself every day, but when it gets to the point he feels the blood and grime subconsciously, heâll get over it. Even if he does wash himself, half the time actually in the shower is just letting the water run over him and staring at the tile wall.
- Gets all of his money and random trinkets from victims. Proceeds to spend all that money almost immediately after on a pack of Blue Moons. No orange slice, either.
- Messy, disgusting room. Has no healthy habits of keeping him or his space tidy, so itâs always near disastrous.
- Even though the media and lots of outlets perceive him as this insane maniac killer, those were all big stories from his teenage years. Even though he doesnât feel like heâs matured, heâs definitely found a happy medium away from spree after spree of slaughter. He still itches to take down a whole neighborhood, but heâs found his ways to cope.
- Very good at hand-to-hand combat. He wields a knife if things get a little rough, but prefers to use his hands to do the dirty work. Makes it feel more personal to him.
- Late-night kitchen demon. Youâll find him rummaging the fridge or making a bowl of cereal in the complete darkness, but heâll swear up and down it wasnât him.
- Annoying, painfully so. Hell wrack EJâs ear off or pester Toby about little things, but he canât help but get giddy when he sees heâs ticked them off just enough.
- Really agile. Had a thinner build, but muscle definition and tension really adds to the aesthetic. Really defined v-line and hips bones, as well as carved out shoulders and collarbones. Looks like a beefier skeleton, but hot.
- Lip piercings. Snake bites. Theyâre not healed and theyâre not pretty, but he thinks they look badass.
- Scars and jagged pieces of flesh everywhere on his body. Theyâre either from mission aftermaths, rough targets, or his own doing, but theyâre all gnarly and barely healed half of the time. They hurt terribly, but heâs constantly cracked out on painkillers that he doesnât even care anymore.
- Enjoys the shoegaze music genre. Aldn, Wisp, Elita, Deftones, and surprisingly, The Cardigans and The Cranberries. They remind him of his childhood.
Dating Him/SFW:
- âBabyâ âBabeâ âCuntâ
- Big words of affirmation guy. Heâll act disgusted and shove you off, rolling his eyes about your sweet words- but in reality, heâs gushing so hard he canât stand it. Reassurance makes him feel more loved than anything.
- The fastest âenemies or loversâ troupe youâll ever experience. Itâll only take one face-to-face argument before you both get too close and heâs pulling you in for a rough make out. Heâs bad with emotions, what makes you think he wouldn't be bad at reading love/hate signals too.
- HATES to show any sign of weakness or adoration. If youâre laying with him or holding his hand, as soon as someone enters the room heâs shoving you off. Itâs not that he doesnât love you, itâs a deep-rooted fear that someone will use you against him.
- If heâs spent the night in your bed, he will always be gone by the time youâve woken up. Out of fear of vulnerability, he will only fall asleep after you and wake up before you, otherwise he just wonât stay with you at all.
- Heâs like dealing with a little kid. Yes, heâs been through heaps of mental anguish and trauma, but heâs gone through all of that without a hand to hold. In some sad way, he sees something motherly and comforting in you which drives him to latch on and become dependent. It's weird, but so is he.
- Jealousy problems. Big time.
- âHe touched you. So I cut his arm off. What is so hard to understand here?â
- Needs to be bossed around. He can and will rot in his bed all day unless you tell him to get up and do something.
- Absolutely melts when you kiss him unprovoked. When he doesnât force you or tease you into one, but when you decide to kiss his face or hands on your own terms. Itâs his favorite thing.
- In his manic brain, he wants something calm, someone who can settle him out. You offer him stability and a chance to unwind and thatâs really all he needs.
- As a nervous response, heâll intentionally push you away if he knows you like him. He holds a lot of regret, so he doesnât want to drag you along with the rest of his baggage. Will say and do things he knows will hurt your feelings so you leave on your own.
- âAnd what made you think Iâd want you? Because we kissed? Hah! How cute.â Meanwhile, heâs in his room pining himself to shreds.
- Watches you sleep constantly. Doesnât matter where you are or how far, he will trek through your window or into your bed to watch you snore quietly against your pillow. He likes the vulnerability of it and acting as your âprotectorâ, like you have no choice but to rely on him in this state.
- You are the last person Jeff wants to break down in front of, but when it eventually happens, and youâre there with open arms- the killer can barely breathe from how full his heart feels. The feeling of just being able to sob and bury into your shoulder while you rub his back is incomparable.
- Possessive AND protective to a fault. Wants everyone to know youâre his, but at the same time, really enjoys when you flaunt yourself so he can stare down the wandering eyes and really show them who theyâd be messing with. Either way, eats it up when you feel good about yourself and safe in him.
- Nasty, terribly toxic relationship. You both bounce off of each other and are constantly arguing, but you both get over it because youâve grown codependent. Thereâs nothing âcasualâ about the two of you, youâre either fuck buddies or desperately clawing at each other for survival. Jeff is an obsessive guy, he either wants everything to do with you or heâll hide away and tear himself apart over you.
- Jewelry is such a yes for him. If youâre wearing thick earrings or chunky necklaces that brighten your face, he eats it up. Heâs such a sucker for silver.
- Does not ask for kisses, he takes them.
- âCâmon baby, I canât help it. Youâre just so fun to mess with.â
- Since he doesnât sleep much, likes to lay on his back while your head rests on his chest/shoulder. Heâll tangle his fingers through your hair or brush your cheek with his thumb while he stares at you or the ceiling. Even when he has doubts about you loving him, your body always subconsciously shifts towards him while youâre snoozing, and it makes him feel just a little better.
- Fake punches/hits you when heâs bored. Will hold his hands up and box at your face but never making contact, just enough to have you side-eye him. He thinks itâs funny.
- Shoulder kisses.
Dating Him/NSFW:
- Can and will touch you inappropriately no matter the circumstances. His rough hands groping your ass or shoving between your thighs to give flirty little touches in front of everyone, his shit-eating grin when you get embarrassed.
- âStop glaring, sweet cheeks. I know you want me.â
- Will fight to his dying day that heâs a top, but as soon as you even give him a glint of dominance or snap at him, heâs folding so fast. Dominant person, submissive lover.
- Killing machine on the field, pathetic ass bottom in bed. It takes forever to get to that point, but once heâs mentally checked out and half-drooling on the mattress, heâs so pliable and lightheaded heâll take it with ease. You have to really work for it, but Jeff trusts you/wants it bad enough subconsciously that heâll force himself to go into a subspace.
- All-time favorite position is laying you out on your back, one leg up on his shoulder while the other is being held down at your side. It really opens you up and gives the nastiest, most lewd noises that have him pussydrunk. Bonus points for reaching a hand in to choke you.
- âAnd to think you were begginâ me to stop while your pussy is soaked. I mean, look at you, babe. Youâre suckinâ me in somethinâ awful.â
- CHOKING. Either you or him, he gets off on it so bad. Choking you is so satisfying, he loves the resistance and struggle as you gasp for air, face flushed and eyes rolling with his fist around your throat. Meanwhile, if youâre choking him, his body nearly convulses from the pleasure. He loves the lightheadedness and pressure of it, hoarse chuckles as both of your hands grip around his neck and just squeeze. He thinks he could cum just from being strangled.
- âWhatâs wrong, baby? Lilâ too much? Ah- Youâll get over it, just open up fâme.â
- Hair pulling, strangling, biting, smackingâreally anything thatâll cause pain.
- Standing side-by-side in the mirror, his body is littered with nasty cuts and scars while yours is littered with pretty bite marks and hickeys. He loves it.
- Eating you out is so tiring, but itâs all worth it to look up and see your heavy, glassed-over eyes beaming down at him, lips parted as youâre gasping.
- Hard, quick thrusts that have you gasping and yelping. His hips snap against yours rhythmically until you throw your head back, then he leans in close and shifts his knees closer to really speed up. He never has a set pace, but prefers always adjusting to whatever has you making the most noise.
- âCâmon⊠Louder- Hah- Iâm not stoppinâ till youâre cryinâ for it.â
- A bitch fight every time you two get together. Bickering with the other about âwho can last longerâ or âgoing until you beg for itâ and it irritates the shit out of both of you. Gets you both riled up that youâre more fighting than fucking, but by the end, youâre both dead exhausted and reduced to panting messed laid out on top of each other.
- Refuses to pull out. He canât get you pregnant, Slender made sure of that (God help if this heathen was allowed to procreate), so itâs either in your cunt, ass, or mouth, nowhere else. Even if heâs jerking himself off, heâll wait to cum until he can get to you and finish himself out.
- Stands over you and stares hard enough until youâre reduced to your knees, words never even leaving his lips before youâre unbuckling his belt and shifting his jeans down. Heâs fought you enough, sometimes you like to just be good for him.
- Pulling him in by his belt >>>>>>>>>
- Eating you out or sucking you off so much that drool leaks from his scars, eyes so hazed and soft as he hums and moans against you.
- âYouâd like that, wouldnât you?â
- Fucked you with the handle of his knife because you read something about it in a book and wanted to see if it actually felt good. He was weirded out at first, but when he watched you jerking your hips and mumbling for him to fuck you, heâs never fucked his cock in faster while rubbing the blunt of the handle against your drooling clit. Same thing with running the blade against your skin. It just elicits some reaction out of you that he canât understand, but it turns him on terribly.
- Has a big thing for cop x prisoner roleplay actually.
- âWhat? Officer, how am I supposed to finger you with these handcuffs, hm? I guess youâll just have to let me go, yeah? Or do you not want it as bad as your pussy leads me to believe?â
- Really loves fingering you while heâs buried in your ass. Curling his fingers up to make you arch your back just a little more, having your head spinning from the overstimulation⊠yeah.
- A 2-3 round champion. Heâll never be able to just cum once and be satisfied, regardless if youâre ready to stop or not, heâs forcing his cock back into wherever it was or in a completely different hole and riding himself out to his next orgasm. If heâs not shaking and on the verge of passing out after sex, it wasnât good enough for him.
- âJeff, stop! We could get caught!â âOr you could just shut up and take your panties off. Youâre soaked, thereâs no point in fighting me when Iâm already this hard⊠Câmon, baby, give me your hand or somethingâŠâ
as much as I love the creepypasta community, some things have been deeply bothering me and I wanna speak up about it.
a lot of writers ( ESPECIALLY WHITE writers!!) have been headcanoning proxies as racist, and it's genuinely just weird as fuck to me. like I'm actually SO tired of people saying annoying ass shit like "jeff the killer DEFINITELY says the n word LOLOLOL!!! he 100% says SOOOO many slurssss!!!!!!!!" the fuck?? literally WHEN has it ever been canonically stated that jeff hates black people???? you weird ass motherfuckers just like making proxies racist because you think it's edgy and funny, but it's actually just obnoxious and lame as fuck. and I find it VERY odd how (SOME) white people are so obsessed with headcanoning fictional characters as racist. like honestly y'all are fucking self projecting at this point. and as a black person I find these headcanons offensive, disrespectful, and unfunny as shit. so for the love of god, keep these stupid ass headcanons to YOURSELF!!!! nobody finds them quirky or hilarious but YOU!!!
The fight started like all of them did: with Jeff getting too loud and you getting too quiet. That damn temper of his. He didnât mean itâhe never doesâbut his voice cracked the walls like thunder, and you flinched.
And that? That wrecked him.
He hadnât touched you. Hadnât even moved from where he stood. But you still looked at him like he could break you.
And you left.
You didnât slam the door, didnât scream back. You just grabbed your hoodie, eyes glossy, and whispered something thatâs haunted him since.
âIâm tired of walking on eggshells just to love you.â
Now Jeffâs sitting on the floor of the kitchen. Knife in handâbut not using it. Just⊠holding it. Spinning it by the handle. A nervous tic. The metal glints in the dim light of the single bulb in the light he never bothered fixing.
The silence eats him alive.
He stares at the coffee mug you always use. Thereâs chapstick on the rim still. He hasnât thrown it away, canât convince himself to.
He hasnât eaten since you left.
âGoddammit,â he growls into the air, smashing the knife against the tile.
It clangs. Echoes. No one answers.
Heâs so used to being hated. Feared. So when someone finally loved himâit felt like learning to breathe after drowning. And now heâs drowning all over again, only this time itâs his fault.
Later, heâs in your shared room. (Itâs still yours in his head.)
Heâs lying on your side of the bed, face buried in your pillow, hoodie sleeves tugged over his hands like a kid. He smells you on the fabric and his chest hurts. Like something inside is breaking and it wonât stop.
He remembers the way you used to cradle his face after nightmares. How you whispered, âIâm not scared of you, Jeff. Youâre not a monster to me.â
He wonders if you still mean that. He wonders if he pushed you too far this time.
Heâs pacing now. At the door. At the window. Should he go after you? Would you even want that?
But the second he imagines you never coming back, his stomach turns. He hits the wall hard with his fist, blood smearing across the paint.
âIâm sorry,â he whispers to no one. âIâm so fucking sorry.â
He slides down the wall. He sits there until his head hits his knees, until his breathing evens out in that shallow, ragged way that shows someone is trying to hide the tears that desperately need to come out.
And when he finally falls asleep on the floor, itâs with your t-shirt pulled against his chest like a lifeline.
â
After you left, Jeff didnât cryânot at first.
He stared. He stood there in the dead silence of the place youâd called home, jaw tight, lips pressed into a line. He blinked at the empty doorway, at the missing weight of your presence, like maybe if he didnât breathe, he wouldnât feel the absence pressing in.
Then something inside him snapped.
The first kill came that night. A couple in a parking garage. They laughed too loud. Looked too happy.
He cut them both open, not because he wanted to. Not even because he needed to. But because their happiness made something sick rise in his throat. Something bitter. Something that looked a lot like grief.
âYou donât get to be happy if Iâm not.â
And that was the beginning.
A body every night.
It wasnât about the thrill anymoreâit never really was. It was about the noise. The screams that drowned out your voice in his head. The blood that made it impossible to see your tear-streaked face. The gasping, pleading, begging that he could pretend was just you saying his name again.
He painted the city red, carving grief into strangers because it was the only thing he could control. He wore the shirt you left behind. He stopped sleeping. He stopped thinking.
âTheyâre all just bodies,â he muttered once, over a half-dead corpse who looked too much like you. âNone of them are you.â
And that was the problem. None of them were you.
â
Then the door opened.
He was sitting on the bloodstained floor of your shared apartment, hoodie sleeves damp, shaking hands covered in rust-colored grime. Knife tossed somewhere. Eyes hollow.
He didnât hear your key in the lock. Didnât hear your breath hitch in the doorway.
But the moment he saw youâ
Everything dropped.
He stood too fast, staggering like a drunk. You froze. His mouth opened and closed like a man drowning in his own guilt.
âYou came back,â he rasped, voice hoarse from nights spent screaming into nothing.
âJeffââ Your voice was small. Scared. That killed him.
He took one step forward and collapsed to his knees, hard. The sound echoed. His shoulders shook. âIâm sorry. Iâm so sorry. Pleaseâfuck, please donât be scared of me.â
You were crying now. He heard it. And that broke him worse.
He crawled to you like something wounded. Held onto the hem of your shirt like a child clinging to a motherâs hand. Smeared blood on your thighs, on your arms, on your heart, but didnât care.
âI didnât know what to do without you,â he choked. âI tried to feel something and I couldnât and I thought if Iâif I killed enoughâmaybe I could stop missing you. But I didnât. I just fucking missed you more.â
Your hands were shaking when you touched his face. He flinched.
âYouâre all I fucking have,â he whispered. âPlease. Tell me you still love me.â
Silence.
You knelt. He was crying now. Ugly, violent sobs into your lap, smearing your jeans with red and salt. And when you whispered, âI never stopped,â he just held you harder, like youâd vanish again if he let go.
You donât remember how long you held him. Just that his sobs bled into your shirt, his hands shook around your waist, and his voiceâonce so loud, so sharpâwas now nothing but broken breath.
He felt small like this. Not the infamous killer. Not the nightmare. Just Jeffrey. A boy who didnât know how to ask for love without screaming first.
âI shouldâve never let you go,â he whispered, voice hoarse from crying.
âYou didnât let me go,â you answered gently. âYou just got lost.â
His shoulders twitched. His arms tightened around you. The blood on his hoodie had dried sticky against your clothes, but you didnât care. You combed your fingers through his hairâmatted, wildâand for a moment, he leaned into it like a wounded dog finding a safe hand.
âI was so fucking angry,â he admitted. âNot at you. Not really. Justâat me. At how I ruin shit. At how I donât know how to be soft without wanting to tear my own skin off.â
You cupped his face.
âThen donât be soft. Just be honest.â
His eyesâwild, wide, so tiredâmet yours. He looked at you like you were something unreal. A miracle he didnât deserve. Then, slow and unsure, he leaned in and kissed you.
Not hungry. Not rough. Just⊠desperate.
His lips tasted like salt. Like regret. He kissed you like an apology he didnât have words for. His hands came up to your cheeks, thumb smudging a tear away before it fell. Then he kissed you again. And again.
âLet me make it up to you,â he breathed against your mouth.
âJeffââ
âPlease. Just this. Let me show you I still love you.â
You didnât answer. You just pulled him closer.
You ended up on your back. Jeff climbed over you with caution like you were a painting he was terrified of ruining. His hands gripped your hips like he was grounding himself, and his forehead pressed to yours as his breaths came shaky and wet.
âYou can stop me any time,â he whispered.
âI know,â you said. âBut I donât want you to.â
That cracked him open. He kissed you harderâstill tremblingâstill holding back sobs that wanted to choke him. He clung to you like someone whoâd lived through hell and didnât believe heaven would last.
Your hands slid under his hoodie, feeling scars and warm skin. He gasped into your mouth, rocked into you like he needed to feel you in every part of him just to know you were real.
He didnât rush it.
He didnât want to fuck it up this time.
âI missed you,â he said again, broken between kisses. âI missed you so bad, I wanted to tear my own fucking heart out.â
Your fingers brushed his cheek.
âIâm right here. I came back.â
He whimpered. Actually whimpered. A small, wounded sound into your neck before trailing kisses down it. You felt the weight of all heâd been carrying. The blood. The guilt. The fear that heâd lost the only thing that ever made him feel human.
When he finally tugged your clothes off, when you welcomed him in, it wasnât about lustâit was about love he didnât know how to name. It was about making a home in you again, about easing the shaking in his hands with your skin, about pressing his forehead to yours and whispering, âPlease donât leave me. I swear Iâll do better.â
You kissed him and pulled him closer.
âThen stay. And love me right.â
And he did. Desperate, gentle, wrecked beyond recognition.
Jeffâs not just violentâheâs wounded. And that wound is festering. Untreated. Deep. Itâs what keeps him sharp. Keeps him angry. Keeps him alive. But if you get close? Like, really close?
Youâll realize Jeffâs not just homicidal. Heâs horrifically emotionally starved.
And yeahâthe mommy issues are real. Not in a cheap âmommy kinkâ way (though⊠give it a few drinks), but in a psychologically ruptured, desperate for nurturing and safety way.
He lost his family. His mom tried to kill him. Even she couldnât stop what happened. She had it coming, honestly. And in his broken mind? That reads as abandonment. Or worse: weakness.
So now he has this sick loop playing in his head that says: âAnyone who loves me will leave me. Anyone who stays is stupid. Anyone who sees the real me should run.â
So what happens when you come along? When you donât run?
àč Pushing you away.
At first, Jeff will be intolerableâsnide comments, cruel teasing, disappearing for days, acting like he doesnât care if you live or die. Because if he lets himself care, he thinks itâll destroy him. And part of him wants to test you.
Heâll provoke you. Get under your skin. Try to make you angry. âWhy are you even here? You think youâre gonna fix me or something? Youâre not special, youâre just a waste of my time.â
But when you donât flinch? When you stay calm, look him in the eye and say, âI donât need to fix you. I just want to know you.â
Jesus fucking Christ what is a man to do.
àč The cracks show.
Once he realizes youâre not going anywhere, the façade starts to fall.
He gets quieter around you. Sleeps closer. Stares longer, but says less. Starts asking you questionsânot small talk, but real stuff.
âWhat was your childhood like?â
Or.
âDid your parents ever hit you?â
Or even.
âDo you remember what it felt like to be normal?â
One night, after a kill, when heâs covered in blood and breathing heavy, heâll crawl into bed with you like nothing happened. But youâll feel itâthe shake in his hands.
âDonât talk,â he growls. âI donât want your pity.â
You donât. You just hold him. And he melts. Quietly. Almost shamefully. Like heâs not sure he deserves it.
àč The mommy dynamic (and not the sexy kind⊠yet).
Hereâs where the mommy issues really start playing out. Jeff never got to grow up with a stable maternal presence. So when you nurture himâbandage him, cook for him, stroke his hair when heâs silentâhe falls to literal pieces.
Heâll pretend to hate it. Roll his eyes. Say stuff like, âYouâre acting like my fuckinâ mom or some shit.â
But the moment you stop? Heâll get irritable. Withdraw. Pick fights. Because he doesnât know how to ask for careâonly how to act out when itâs missing.
So you learn to read between the lines.
âYouâre bleeding.â
âSo?â
âSit your ass down and let me clean it.â
ââŠFine.â
And when you kiss his temple after patching him up? He leans into it. Doesnât speak. Just breathes and watches you and silently screams his head off for more. Because deep down, Jeff isnât looking for a girlfriend or a boyfriend or whateverâheâs looking for safety.
Something his mom never gave him. Something no one else ever has.
àč Now the mommy dynamic⊠in the sexy way.
Praise him. Call him a good boy, your baby, your handsome boy, your brave boy. Youâll see him break apart in real time.
His eyes shut tight. His hips twitch. His grip on your waist goes just a little tighter, like if he lets go, heâll fall apart. Because deep, deep in that corrupted brain, heâs still a boy who never got that. Never heard someone say, âYouâre doing so good.â
So now when you say it? While youâre on top of him, lips on his jaw, hands stroking through his hair? He doesnât just want you. He needs you. Like breath. Like blood.
Thereâs something so overwhelming about finally claiming someone who claims you in return. Kissing the lips of a mouth that praises your actions no matter how dangerous. Itâs all he could ask forâbut he never would.
Jeff has never gotten harder than when youâre lounged on the couch, him laying on top of you, face buried in your chest. And you begin to stroke his back, nails scratching across his scarred skin, running your fingers through his hair. Itâs sweet, of courseâbut he could cum just from the sensation alone, probably.
He gets so pathetic when youâre gentle during sex.
You kiss his scars instead of ignoring them. You whisper soft things instead of dirty commands. You cup his face when heâs inside you, like heâs something beautiful. Heâll try to fight it at first. Make it rough. Pull your hair. Bite your lip.
But when you grab his wrist and bring his hand to your chestâlet him feel your heartbeatâand whisper âYou feel that? Itâs beating for you.â
Heâll lose it. Mouth open. Voice shaking. Hands trembling like heâs never been touched before.
âWhy are you doing this to me?â
âBecause you deserve love, sweetheart. Even like this.â
And heâll fuck you like heâs trying to earn itâevery kiss, every thrust, every gasp laced with need. Not just for your body. But for the safety heâs never had.
àč The collapse.
Eventually, Jeff will crack open completely. Not with yelling. Not with violence. But with a whisper.
One night, heâll wake up sweating, shaking, panicked. Sit up in bed and start pacing like a wild animal. Youâll ask whatâs wrong.
And heâll finally say, âI saw her. My fucking mom. In a dream. She screamed when she looked at me. I donâtâ I canâtâ The bitch deserved it, so whyââ
Then heâll look at you, eyes so wild that heâs sure if you say the wrong thing heâll kill you in a second. âWhat do you see when you look at me?â
You take a second, maybe two. But thereâs no hesitation, just finding the right words, âI see someone broken. But still trying. Youâre trying so hard, Jeffrey.â
He wonât cry. He canât. But heâll bury his face in your shoulder and cling like a terrified child. Because you just told him what no one else ever has: That heâs still worth saving.
Itâs hard. Itâs violent. Itâs cold, then burning. Heâll say horrible things when heâs scared. Heâll punish you when he feels too close. Heâll sabotage his own happiness just to prove he doesnât deserve it.
But if you stay? If youâre patient, and smart, and strong enough to hold your ground?
Youâll watch something terrifying happen. Heâll trust you. Heâll need you. Heâll love youânot in a healthy way, but in a desperate, real, feral way.
And for a boy who was made by fire and grief? That kind of love is holy.
JEFF is always up for a challenge. He always wants to show up with how strong he is. Sometimes he works out in front of you to try and show off. Well, it works for sure but one day he has this bright idea. It takes a while for him to make you agree to it but you agree eventually.
That's how you ended up on his back as he counted up to thirty while doing push ups. It was really hot in your mind as he groaned and whimpered in between counts.
âË magic girl ⶠ@lovrecoke - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
