A million times this OP, and thank you for specifying that this includes people who detransitioned due to realizing that they werent trans at all, because so often I see them get completely dismissed or brushed aside.
Please don't mind me adding onto this post, but I just want to emphasize how extremely important it is that people's support for detransitioners encompasses not only
trans people who detransition for their own safety,
trans people who have to detransition due to a lack of access,
people who detransition due to realizing they weren't trans,
people who detransition due to experiencing transition regret.
Because frankly? Trans people (including trans people who had to detransition but who are still trans) and detrans people who had regrets/realized they aren't trans... do have a lot in common, and do share many similar struggles.
And to be completely blunt as someone who detransitioned due to transition regret, when I was looking for resources and support, all I found were TERFs. Any time I saw anyone else talk about us, it was either to talk poorly about us, to imply that we don't exist enough to matter ("um actually only 0.00000008% of people actually regret transition"), or to otherwise complain about how they had to see detrans people existing.
This attitude feeds into a cycle of radicalization. TERFs go "we love detrans people :)" while others go "nobody Actually regrets transition btw". Then freshly detransitioned people see these two sides and... well, they'll naturally go to wherever there's support. If someone, in a vulnerable time of their life, sees one group beckoning them with open arms, while the other is reluctant at best and outright hostile at worst, of course they're going to get pulled into the group that accepts accept them.
By being hostile towards detransitioners who did realize that they aren't trans... it'll just radicalize people and create more TERFs, create more transphobes, create more people who want you gone and who want to control what you can do to your own body.
And hostility can and certainly does include dismissing detrans people who realized they weren't trans by saying that 'all detrans people transition again' or that 'there are too few of them to matter'. Hostility does include explicitly excluding people with regrets from detransition-related conversations.
It's important that the trans community is willing to accept detransitioners who detransitioned for any and all reasons — not just the ones who detransitioned in the way that people find acceptable. Because otherwise, you're just throwing them out in the cold for the transphobes down the road to take in.
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