Santa Baby

Lux K-K

[luciakringlekrampus]

TEXT 🎅 LUXLAN

Locklan: Yo, did you know Santa RAVES exist?!

Lux: No! What? How come you knew about them before me! What the fuck is a santa rave?

[luciakringlekrampus]

TEXT 🏃🏻‍♀️ K-Ks

Nat: Fine. But you owe me.

Nat: How long do you think you'll be doing that? So I know how much to pack.

Lux: Yay! I'll give you whatever you want!

Lux: IDK! I've never seen Faelix like this before? Maybe pack for a couple days, just in case???

[luciakringlekrampus]

TEXT 🏃🏻‍♀️ K-Ks

Nat: Okay? And?

Lux: And I want to smoke him out! Which I can't do with my straight edge sibling still hanging around!

[luciakringlekrampus]

TEXT 🏃🏻‍♀️ K-Ks

Nat: This is my room? Why is HE still here?

Lux: Yeah, but you don’t do drugs and Faelix is SAD!!

[luciakringlekrampus]

TEXT 🏃🏻‍♀️ K-Ks

Lux: Why are you still here????????

[legaciesgifworld]

[luciakringlekrampus]

TEXT 🍔 KRINGLE-KRAMPUSES

Nat: Yeah, I'd say it's possible that love just became a thing of the past for him once the divorce went through. I've never asked him though because I have no idea how that conversation would even go and I don't need to. Tough love forces me to buckle down and behave and self-discipline which is something everyone could benefit from.

Nat: Awesome! Co-baking sounds like a fun bonding thing. Other Dad sounds dismissive to me somehow? I'll try it out though and see how I feel. Santa Dad sounds so long, I'd rather just call him Santa. I bet I could make a spicy cinnamon cookie for you instead? Are you allergic to cinnamon? And yeah, that's totally possible. Italian lemon drop cookies are easy and delicious.

Lux: How come you don’t need to? I wanna know! But I probably have a billion other questions to ask him before i got to that one. Oh, that’s not fun but far be it from me to yuck your yum!

Lux: It does! We’ll have so much fun! I wish you weren’t a straight age, because baking on an acid trip is truly a time. Oh or you can call him JUST Daddy like me since you call Other Daddy “Dad” and then you’ll have a daddy and a dad and they’re different! I’m not ALLERGIC but it makes my tongue itch a little bit sometimes. Yay!!! 🥳

[luciakringlekrampus]

TEXT 🍆😫💦 FUX

Faelix: You don't need a theme, you're a person!

Faelix: Oh yeah lmao. I knew that, sorry, my head's all over the place rn. You're gonna kill at that someday.

Faelix: It must not have been romantic or transcendant or life changing for HER. I guess it didn't do ANYTHING for her except make her miss her ex's dick so badly that she's chosen to forget that he rawed a cat with it.

Faelix: That's not fair, I know that whole situation is complicated, but I didn't think they'd ever get back together, and I especially didn't think it'd be HER idea, and I NEVER thought it'd happen after we finally had sex! I thought something might finally be happening with us but instead she texted me all happy and going on about how their love is too strong for anything to really break them up and just... how could she think that's anything I'd want to hear after everything?! I feel like a fucking moron and I'm losing my fucking mind. I wish I could disappear down the drain of a bath tub for good.

Lux: I'm not juuust a person, Santa has a theme!

Lux: It's okay, You're really going through it rn. But thank youu, I hope so.

Lux: That is...fucking bleak, dude. I wish I knew what to even say to cheer you up, but that’s like lit er ally batshit bonkers.

Lux: Also it’s such a bitch move for her to tell you that? Even though you didn’t tell her how you feel, it’s still like SO obnoxious to brag about being in a relationship with someone you just got railed by. You’re not a moron, she’s your best friend and NO ONE would’ve expected her to bounce right from your dick to one that’s been inside a cat. Don’t be sad though, maybe it’s just a sign that you dodged a bullet and need to move on to someone with taste??

[luciakringlekrampus]

TEXT 🍆😫💦 FUX

Faelix: Just say I'm full of shit next time!

Faelix: That is pretty dope I'm not gonna lie. You're a pretty solid color-er. Get a career in it.

Faelix: Yeah, well, I was scared for a reason, I guess. All the stuff I thought and felt about all of it? Yeah, turns out she didn't think or feel a thing about it, like, at all. She's back with Wolfgang now and she's fucking ecstatic about it so lmao guess that's that! Can we just pretend all the shit I said to you was a lame prank?

Lux: No! It's not on theme!

Lux: I know, I am! That's the goal! I'm gonna be an animator someday and coloring is part of it!

Lux: WHA? You had weird romantic transcendent life changing sex with her what all of ten minutes ago and now she's back with Wolfgang before the jizz is even finished drying??? What is even going on!?

[luciakringlekrampus]

TEXT 🍆😫💦 FUX

Faelix: COAL?! I'm full of a LOT of stuff but I'm sure as heck not full of that lmao I'm not a train. And I have no doubt you're a master mixer but that doesn't mean you're right! That sounds really cool actually! You should send me a pic when you're done.

Faelix: Full benefits is more than amazing, it's like the perfect situation for me, or at least it's definitely the best I can do. Being her best friend is way different than being her husband, boyfriend, or baby daddy! I'm only a dad to be on accident, for one thing, and that couldn't happen with Airiel, but it just goes to show how I'm not good at that stuff that I accidentally made a whole kid with a chick I barely know! I don't have to co-parent and I'm so fucking thankful for that because I know I'd just fuck it up! And I've never done the whole committment thing and I don't know if I'd be any good at it and she wants the Ambrose to her Lily and I'm nothing like that guy, or like the last guy she dated, so I couldn't be further from her type! Just because she finally realized I was hot enough to bang doesn't change any of that.

Faelix: Yeah, I think. But like I said, doesn't change anything. I'm just going to be happy I got what I did and hope we get to do it again.

Lux: It’s not LITERAL, it’s the nice north pole way of saying YOU’RE FULL OF SHIT! I’m right when it comes to nosiness!! It’s so cool! I’ll send you pics now!

Lux: [krampuscoloring.jpeg]

Lux: I did NOT realize how much of a scaredy cat you were until right this very second. Wow.

Lux: 🤞🏼

[luciakringlekrampus]

TEXT 🍔 KRINGLE-KRAMPUSES

Nat: I think Dad must believe in love some. He was married once, after all. Maybe that's why he doesn't say it anymore though. I think the only kind of love he doles out now is tough love but it's fine. It's made me a better person than most and I can never begrudge him that.

Nat: Twinsies, yay, fun. Do you want to try to make some with me? I can make sure you don't burn anything down, or I'd give it my best go anyway. Right, OUR dad. It's just easier to say YOUR dad so you know which one I'm talking about. And thanks! I like to think it's nice too. He likes spicy Mexican hot chocolate cookies the best, I think, so I make those a lot. I love Italian Christmas cookies though, those are delicious. Probably the best cookies in my opinion are lemon though.

Lux: Yeah but then they got so divorced that they each gave up on seeing a kid forever, so it’s totes possible that he gave up on love forever too. Also how does tough love make you better??

Lux: YES! I would love to make cookies with you! If you say Other Daddy like I do then I’ll know who you mean probably! Or Santa daddy? Spicy mexican hot chocolate cookies sound so good! I’m allergic kind of to chocolate otherwise I’d want to make those. Can we try to make lemon Italian cookies? That’s possible right?

[luciakringlekrampus]

TEXT 🍆😫💦 FUX

Faelix: I'm not in de nile, I'm here at Monster U just like you :-P but I know what you're saying and you're WRONG! I just think she's the best person in the world, dead or alive, and I'm happy to have her as a best friend, and she's the sexiest person I've ever seen, and I always want to be by her side, but that doesn't mean I'm in LOVE with her! COCKTAILS ARE NOTORIOUS LIARS! Sorry your plans fell through but coloring is fun! What are you coloring?

Faelix: Haha, good one! I don't know? I mean, it's probably just full benefits but that's still amazing, isn't it? And I'd probably be way better as a fully benefitted friend than I'd be as a boyfriend. I almost told her... well, I almost asked for more but I stopped because I didn't wanna ruin the moment. I finally got to bang her! Why can't we just focus on that instead of what it could mean or if I could in any universe be good enough to be her future husband or baby daddy or whatever else.

Faelix: I think I kind of love her though.

Lux: You are so far in de nile, you have no idea you're not! THAT LITERALLY MEANS YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH HER AND THERE'S NO WAY YOU WERE ABLE TO TYPE THAT WITHOUT KNOWING YOU'RE FULL OF COAL! NOT MINE! I'M A MASTER MIXER! It's so fun, I weirdly don't get to do it enough. I'm coloring these print out pages I found of my other daddy, there are so many of them and I do NOT get it but I'm obsessed.

Lux: Ofc, just full benefits is still amazing when you’re as head over wings as you are. I get why you didn’t ask in like the middle of things, but How come you think you wouldnt be good enough to be her husband, boyfriend or baby daddy? You’re already her best friend, you’ve already smashed AND you’re already a baby daddy???

Lux: You THINK?!🙄

[luciakringlekrampus]

TEXT 🍆😫💦 FUX

Faelix: SSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'm not in ANYTHING with her! Your sativa addy cocktail is lying to you about what to focus on! Also, that sounds FUN! Are you out or just chilling with it all at home?

Faelix: She may be dead but I've never felt more alive! And idk, what kind of a question is that? It was DEFINITELY an upgrade from wankfests, even though those were always hella good too. I don't know if it was meaningful though. I mean, it definitely meant something but I don't know what it meant, or if it meant the same thing to both of us. I just know it was awesome and she seemed so happy.

Lux: I feel like there are mummies rn fully envious of de nile you're living in. The cocktails never lie, tyvm! It is so fun! I was supposed to go out but those plans fell though so now I'm home and I'm coloring!

Lux: Werk! I meant like was it JUST your friends with limited benefits relationship turning into FULL benefits or is Boomont your Boo Thang now. Obviously smashing it is better than just witnessing her smash it for herself! And duh she seemed happy, you were having sex! Who wouldn’t?!

[luciakringlekrampus]

TEXT 🍔 KRINGLE-KRAMPUSES

Nat: No, we say thank you, or at least I do. Manners are good. I mean the other thing. I think I've only ever said I love you to my dad before and he kinda just laughed at it.

Nat: Oh. Cool. I actually like homemade cookies best. I learned how to make some so Dad would feel appreciated after Krampusnacht since he doesn't get cookies all over the world like your dad. But which are your favorites?

Lux: Oh! WHY? Does Other Daddy not believe in love or something so you never learned how? That's not very nice, is it?

Lux: So do I! Twinsies! I'm not supposed to try and make them anymore though because I "burned our house down twice" and that's like too many times or something according to OUR daddy. But that's so nice of you! What kind do you make him? I like Italian Christmas cookies best, they're like lumps of cookie magic!

[luciakringlekrampus]

TEXT 🍔 KRINGLE-KRAMPUSES

Nat: ...Thank you and I love you. That still feels kind of weird to say but I mean it.

Nat: Is half of all of this cookies?!

Lux: Litty! You're welcome and I love you too! Really? You don't say thank you where you come from??

Lux: YEAH! So many kinds so we can have well balanced meals! Also I didn't know which ones you like best!

[luciakringlekrampus]

TEXT 🍔 KRINGLE-KRAMPUSES

Nat: The fridge is fully stocked. I’m either hallucinating or this is a miracle! Knowing your eating habits while intoxicated, I'm going to guess it's the former. Did you sneak something into my water when I wasn't looking?

Lux: No! Why would I waste my drugs on you? I totes respect your sobriety! I went shopping! Say thank you and I love you!

[luciakringlekrampus]

TEXT 🍆😫💦 FUX

Faelix: Just because her vag is fucking h e a v e n doesn't mean I'm in L word with her, shut up! Let me have this without making it weird or making me think too hard!

Faelix: It wasn't "precious"! It was sexy! Rough! Passionate! Tender! But thanks for not puking lol I appreciate it, L. I'm really freaking out rn, ngl.

Lux: No! You being in L word with her means you're in L word with her. Your vag perception is just a symptom! I can't! I'm on a sativa addy cocktail, it makes me so weird and interested in other people.

Lux: I get it! You have many words to describe smashing a dead girl! Anyway, was it like a meaningful fuck or like just an upgrade to your weird ass partnered wank sheshes?