✧ * • $ting.

* – lately i've been hard to reach. i've been too long on my own. everybody has a private world where they can be alone. are you calling me? are you trying to get through? are you reaching out for me, like i'm reaching out for you?

[rpmememaker]

Send “✆” for a MORNING text. Send “✉” for a text that WASN’T SENT. Send “☎” for a RUSHED text. Send “⁇” for a DRUNK text. Send “✿” for a SUGGESTIVE text. Send “ø” for a LATE NIGHT text. Send “✘” for a HATEFUL text. Send “#” for a RANDOM text. Send “@” for a SCARED text. Send “&” for a LOVING text. Send “%” for a CURIOUS text. Send “ツ” for an EXCITED text. Send “$” for an ACCIDENTAL text. Send “♀” for a HEARTBREAKING text.

[parker-edwards-blog]

Parker tilted his head to the side, granting her an easier access to his jaw and kissed her back when her lips met his. He liked her upper lip which still had some frosting left and laughed slightly before moving to her lips back again, holding her waist with his hands. “I have to admit,” he mumbled between kisses, “this is much better than I expected.”

[luciegdi-blog]

she breathed a nervous laugh, still trying to calm the butterflies flapping their tiny wings in her tummy. “i’ve never kissed a boy before,” lucie whispered against parker’s lips, quickly catching his bottom lip with her teeth. she gently tugged, then released. “what’s the protocol for this sort of thing, hmm?”

[parker-edwards-blog]

“You’re right, everything sounds much more innocent when there’s cupcakes involved.” To be honest, he had been hoping for a kiss but this- this was much more interesting. He was always up for games and this seemed like fun. “Okay, this is so disturbing…” he chuckled, “I feel like this will taste like nutella vodka shots but we’ll see.” he shrugged with a smile. Parker took a sip from the girl’s drink and quickly held her by the hip to hold her still as he leaned down and licked all of the frosting on her from behind, marking the end with a soft kiss on her neck. “Your turn.” he turned to her and smirked, rubbing some frosting on his jawline.

[luciegdi-blog]

Electricity. She was 100% sure it wasn’t a romantic kind of spark -- but more so the kind you get when you have your first kiss, your first time, the first time someone touches you with the intention of making you say their name later on. Lucie laughed softly as he called her idea disturbing, yet arched her back into Parker as he licked the frosting from her neck. It was her turn, and she had no problem going for it. She got on her tip-toes and cupped Parker’s face in her hands. Ever so gently, she peppered kisses along the line of frosting, nipping at the skin every once in a while. As his jaw line lead to his lips, Lucie grazed them softly with her own. “Still find this disturbing?” She whispered, a smirk tugging at the corners of her lips and a mischevious look in her eyes.

[parker-edwards-blog]

“Parker.” he said at the same time. “Yeah, that would be me.” he laughed softly. “I just don’t mind getting a bit dirty.” he smirked. Parker wasn’t one to get mad at small things like that, especially if it was just an accident caused by such an attractive girl. “Why don’t you give me a taste?” he asked suggestively. 

[luciegdi-blog]

“is it really dirty if there’s frosting involved, though? cupcakes are sent straight down from heaven, you know,” her smile twisted into a smirk. despite her demeanor, her stomach was flipping. this boy -- she’d just licked his cheek. they’d spoke of hooking up. would that be what happened here? lucie took her lesser lip between her teeth and finally met parker’s gaze. “i have an idea. cupcake body shot?” she raised a brow and reached for one of the cupcakes before placing her finger in the frosting and running it down the nape of her neck. lucie also handed her drink to parker. “treat it just as you would a body shot -- except that this is frosting and normally they use salt.”

[blxirs]

blair doesn’t mean to feel so down from her comment — she should take it as just that : a comment. but it feels weird to hear lucie say it, her tone defeanening. it’s usually firm ( she has grown used to it ), but it feels odd when she sees the way luciana’s face contorts into a look that blair can’t really understand. “ no, i — yeah, no i get it. ” she says, her smile tight as she tries to clear up the tension that seems to try to ruin the calm of the moment. “ i know, it’s — yeah, it’s fine, yeah. just wasn’t sure. ” she says quickly with a wave of her hand. she shuffles slightly as she looks down at her heels, her mouth twisting into a side pout. “ shrimp size ? at least you’ll be a gorgeous shrimp. ” she says with a little giggle in her voice. “ thank you. ” she repeats, the colour pink bright on her cheeks, “ really, thank you. i hope we both have fun. ” she says with a softer smile then, her eyes finally reaching the other’s.

[luciegdi-blog]

through all of the stuttering and awkward glances, lucie had some time to put together the situation before her. 24 hours ago, blair was texting her about how she felt stupid for wanting her, but not when she was drunk. she felt okay for thinking of her if she had alcohol in her system to dull it all. it stung when she read it and it stung now. “wait -- hold on,” the brunette lazily ran a hand through her hair. “last night you had to drink to be able to talk to me, and now you’re throwing compliments out... i just -- can you give me a fuckin’ sign, blair? could you do that for me?” she could feel herself slipping from the cool, calm and collected aura she generally had. “because one day you’re avoiding me like the plague, and the next you’re texting me about how much you miss me. i’m not one to put up with being strung along, and if that’s what you’re doing, you can stop. it’s not worth it,” her cheeks flushed a deep, angry pink, but she just stood there. what else could she do? 

[kcrmah]

“well here we are, this is some point, yeah?” she says with a shrug, trying to brush off the question. it wasn’t a topic she was particularly interested in, anyway. as lucie talks, blake nods and pretends to care, raising an eyebrow at the very end of the girl’s answer. “no harm in trying again, you know. just dating around, just for fun. there don’t have to be strings attached. have you ever tried dating online? tinder is pretty big in paris, if you’re into that sort of thing.”

[luciegdi-blog]

she’s sipping at her drink as blakely speaks, not thinking much of their casual conversation. however, when the word ‘online dating’ slid from blakely’s lips, lucie’s eyes narrowed and she slowly removed the cup from her lips. “tinder is fun for the swiping aspect, but online relationships aren’t for me -- i mean, don’t get me wrong. some people can make it work. it’s just something about the fact that you can’t be there to see their real expressions, their true feelings. it sometimes feels like a giant lie.”

[essakarim-blog]

essa leans back, his gaze trains on the brunette beside him and he snakes his arm around the back of her stool and grins. “nah, you’re my best friend – my job is is to lift you up, not to let you wallow in your misery. especially not over some bitch,” he spits the insult then leans forward to collect his glass and takes a sip of his drink, “who, frankly, doesn’t deserve to occupy a single thought in your head.” he watches her finish her drink in one gulp. a hint of amusement in his darkened and concerned eyes. “yeah,” he agrees with a shrug, finishing off his own drink and placing the glass back on the counter. “you deserve better, so it’s her loss. if you want my advice, the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.” he smirks. “you know who’s hot? that blake girl. i’m only seventy per cent sure she’s into girls.”

[luciegdi-blog]

as essa’s arm snaked around her waist, lucie rested her head on his shoulder momentarily, a sign of her exhaustion mentally and physically. “hey -- she’s not a bitch,” almost immediately, lucie was sitting up and tipping her glass back again. “but yeah, i guess i shouldn’t worry about it. i’m in france, there are plenty of people for me to fawn over. i’m young, i’m single, and i think i’m okay looking,” as essa finished his drink, she too tossed hers back to finish it off. “blakely? yeah, she’s hot, and i’m sure she’s into girls. i’m like 90% sure she’s into blair, actually. i could be wrong,” a shrug lifted her shoulders. “are we getting another drink or heading back to your dorm to drink? either way, i think drinks are needed.”

[luciegdi-blog]

dear dad,

daddy,

there is so much footage of my early years. it stops around my fifth year of life, and i’m not stupid. i know why. we couldn’t have a family gathering without you and mom going at each other’s throats. who wants to remember that? i don’t have much of a choice. my childhood was full of screaming, crying, cursing, and none of it was ever directed at me -- but you know what? i often wish it had been, because then i would have a reason to be so angry with you. what you did to mom was incredibly selfish. you made her live through a nightmare every god damn day of her life -- but me? oh, i was your baby. i was a daddy’s girl through and through. i thought you had hung the moon. despite how angry you would be with mom, you would still look me in the eyes, smile warmly and kiss me goodnight. when things got particularly bad, you would storm out, but you always came back. you always made sure i knew that despite the way things were going with you and mom, you still loved me. 

cheating on mom speaks volumes about your morals, and my mom is my best friend, so when i found out about everything my first instinct was to push you out. i didn’t care if you loved me, because i didn’t love you. i’m ashamed to say that now, but it’s the truth. i had so much anger and resentment built up towards you for hurting the woman that gave me life, that i couldn’t even begin to fathom loving such a horrible person. i couldn’t separate you from the things you had done, and it genuinely felt like i had lost my dad already. i didn’t know you were capable of that. i didn’t know you were capable of breaking someone.

when you and mom finally blessed me with your divorce, i thought this was a way to cut you out of my life completely. i moved in with mom, blocked your number and dismissed your visits. i would be lying if i said i missed you during that time. i was too angry to miss you. i’d watch your motorcycle drive away at least three times a week. you would knock for so long... and i would put my headphones on. 

if i had known that the last ride you would take would be away from my house, i would have answered the door. i would have let you inside. i would have saved you.

you were two miles from mom’s. you weren’t even a two minute drive away. when she got the call, i laughed it off. i had wished you dead so many times. but now? i was in denial. i remember the car ride to the hospital -- silence. all i could hear was that whirring from the engine that you swore you’d fix, but mom wouldn’t let you. the whole time i was thinking about how you could’ve been fixing the strange sound instead of lying on a gurney with no brain activity. not even the helmet could save you. 

when they told mom and i that you had no brain activity from being deprived of oxygen too long, we both had no idea what that meant. but the doctor made it perfectly clear that you would not wake up, and that ending care would be the best situation for everyone involved. we had to tell them yes or no. we had to decided whether to let you die or not, when i felt like i had already murdered you.

your new girlfriend came to say goodbye with us. when you were unplugged, you didn’t last long. ten minutes, maybe? but i didn’t care. no, that’s a lie. i cared deeply, but i didn’t know how to deal.

i am so sorry, dad. i am so fucking sorry for just letting you go, because maybe if i hadn’t, you would still be here. maybe instead of riding your bike, you would’ve been having dinner with me. i’m sorry for ending your life prematurely. i’m sorry for not being the loyal daughter you deserved. i’m sorry for hating you. i’m sorry for taking mom’s side. i’m sorry your last emotion wasn’t a happy one. you did your best, and i just fucked it all up.

i’m sorry that it has been a few years and i’m still drinking this guilt away. i know you see it all. please forgive me.

please help me, daddy.

[luciegdi-blog]

dear blair,

to my angel,

     let me just start by saying that i have been trying to form coherent sentences since the day you ended our relationship, and i’ve never really come close to it. everything i say is just a messed up jumble of words without the words ‘i’ and ‘love’ and ‘you’. uttering those words to anybody else seems like a lie, and maybe that’s how i’ll always feel. maybe i’ll meet someone new, but right now it feels like i won’t. i guess that’s how you feel after your first love, right? that’s what you were to me, what you are to me. but i know you need to let go.

     don’t get me wrong. i am pretty miserable without you, but i’m learning to be comfortably numb. you see, no one has ever loved me in the way that you did. i know you did. i know it couldn’t all be a massive lie, despite that being my thoughts when you broke up with me. as the days go by, i realize that i held on too tightly. i didn’t want to let you go, because the last time i let someone go... well, they died. superstition and bad luck over the course of my life had taught me that if i let go, if i truly let you go, you would be gone too. i’m a curse. i kill everything i touch, and i realized the reason you didn’t die was because i never touched you. i never kissed you. i never got to fall asleep next to you. there was always a screen between us.

     perhaps that was a good thing. i was never wonderful at putting my words together, but standing in front of you made me stutter and stumble and wish i had something beautiful to say, something as beautiful as you could write. but i don’t. you deserve better. you deserve someone who can shower you in pretty words, but also someone who doesn’t clench so tightly at the tiniest thought of saying goodbye. you may have broke my heart, but i think i broke yours right back.

     i’m sorry for the childish way i’ve acted in the past few months, and for placing all the blame on you. i was angry and hurting. you’re right. i didn’t get it. i do now, and i sincerely hope that you’re able to find something in your life that makes you so happy, you don’t even need to be in a relationship -- but anyone who dates you gets a catch anyway. i love you with all my heart, but i am letting go. i am letting you go.

luciana

[luciegdi-blog]

dear blake

dear blakely,

     i know what you’re expecting -- a giant ‘fuck you’, a punch in the face, a warning of sorts... and believe me, that was definitely the plan at first. i’ve never had trouble getting my point across with violence before. however, after getting all my anger out (i.e. drinking a lot and breaking dishes), i realized that you need a guide. you need to know what you’re getting yourself into. 

     if the rumors are true... if you and blair are something, even if it’s a very little something, please know that she is a force to be reckoned with, though you would never know it. she is quiet, she is angelic, she is kind, and deserves the world. these are things that you are probably aware of. what you’re not aware of is that she needs you to take care of her.

      when she is upset, throw her favorite blanket in the dryer -- it’s red plaid. cover her up, and then make her some eggnog. i know, it’s kind of crazy. i never got to do these things in person. i just knew that i would if i ever spent one night with her, if i ever got the chance to sing her ‘i want to hold your hand’ by the beatles, or if i ever got to sketch her porcelain face while she peacefully slept beside me... i would be complete. but these things didn’t happen for whatever reason -- fate, falling out of love, there’s many chapters to this story, but i swear to you, blakely, if you don’t take care of blair, i will find you. i will do everything in my power to make sure she is happy, even if i am not part of her life.

     so, i guess this is a warning. i’m warning you that she is not your average girl. she is an angel, and you seem to be devilish -- do not taint her pure soul. i will rip you a new asshole.

[laviehq-deactivated20170204]

hi, friends !! how about an ask meme drop ? this one is sure to help you work on character development as well as learn about other characters, which is always fun… if you’d like to participate, just reblog this post !! make sure your ask box is on and allows anons. even if you aren’t online right away, be sure to reblog it so you can get some questions. happy letter-writing !!

[parker-edwards-blog]

Parker quickly furrowed his eyebrows and looked at the person who had caused the mess on his cheek only before realizing it was the girl he was supposed to meet. “Hey…Lucie, right?” he smiled, “I wouldn’t know, maybe if you got some in my mouth next time I’d be able to tell.” he shrugged, “I think you should get this off me.” he smirked a little, signaling his cheek.

[luciegdi-blog]

her name sounded different when it came from parker, but that probably had something to do with the amount of alcohol in her system. “yeah, lucie -- and you’re parker,” she stated with a grin. “sorry! i couldn’t exactly see your face, and i was just kind of messin’ around. you’re a good sport then, huh?” she teased, but before she could quip yet again, parker was motioning to the icing she’d gotten on him. did he want her to use a napkin? oh, no. that wasn’t how this would work. she got up on her toes and placed her hands on parker’s shoulders before gently licking the icing off, careful not to smudge her dark lipstick.

[blxirs]

she looks good, is the first thing that lucie notices. she almost feels like how attractive lucie really is here, at this moment now, is surprising when it shouldn’t be the least bit surprising at all. she isn’t the tallest out of everyone around her, but the good two inches that raise blair are making her seem almost 5'9. suddenly, she feels like a giant, her eyes burning for a reason she can’t explain. it feels weird ; she would think she’s gotten over her insecurity over her height ( being taller in high school was something that was ideal, but not helpful when it came to numerous relationships ). but now it’s like it’s all coming back to her, her eyes falling to the ground before she can look at anything else. “ right, yeah. ” she mumbles, shrugging slightly. “ thank you, i — i wasn’t sure about it, so i brought flats in my car, but the heels sort of look nice with my dress, so now i’m just sort of stumped. ”

[luciegdi-blog]

almost as soon as the words left her mouth, lucie wanted to grab them and shove them back in, as if that was something that was actually possible. “oh, no, i didn’t mean it negatively. shit -- fuck, you know i’m bad at this whole ‘words’ thing,” a nervous hand went to tug at her unruly waves of brunette hair. “i can’t walk in heels, or else i would be 5′4″ or something and not this shrimp size. but honestly, you look great. don’t worry about your heels or your height. just know that you look beautiful and that you’re here to have fun, not to worry, okay?” lucie flashed a warm smile in blair’s direction. despite everything they were going through, lucie still couldn’t bring herself to be mean to blair -- not yet. she was holding it all in, and perhaps she would snap, but for now she was just fine with their casual conversation.

[kcrmah]

“…right,” blakely replies, clearly still not impressed as she eyes the girl in front of her. “somehow my definition of fun isn’t having six hundred calories smeared all over my face when i spent forty-five minutes on my makeup, but sure.” as the girl introduces herself, blake’s eyes narrow, immediately wondering if this was the lucie she’d been hearing about from blair, but not wanting to jump to conclusions too quickly. “blakely,” she replies shortly, while concocting ways to extract the information she needs from the other girl. “you’ve been in paris for a short time, there’s only twenty-four hours in a day, we’ve both got things to do. anything been keeping you particularly busy? we are in the city of love, after all.”

[luciegdi-blog]

just seconds ago, this blakely -- whose name sounds all too familiar -- was giving lucie attitude. now, as they stand beside each other, the other girl is asking her about her love life. this is also the girl who gave her hell for messing up some of her make-up. there had to be an ulterior motive, and so as quickly as lucie’s walls had fallen down, they went back up. “i meant we’re both in the program, so i figured we would bump into each other at some point...” lucie trails off. how would she answer this question? without much of a second thought, she simply rambled, which was sure to irritate the blakely even more. “well, no. i’m here for the adventure aspect, the newness of it all. while some people think of it as a culture shock, i think of it as a new era -- the paris era. plus, i found love in london and it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.”

[blxirs]

( @luciegdi )

she’s dressed for this, obviously ( it’s not a party unless she’s wearing something she’s actually planned out for once, & did her hair, & is teetering on too-tall heels ). she generally doesn’t like dressing up just for sake of being fearful that she’ll be the only one who is dressed up, but she’s glad to see she’s not the only one. her heels are too high for her ( they’re not too bad, but she’s getting a little anxious every time she bumps into something ), & as she stumbles over to the food, she brushes against someone short a little too forcefully. she mumbles a thousand “ désolé’s ! ” until she’s flushed pink, her arms out to steady the other person until her hands retract back to smoothing down her dress instead. “ oh, uhm, hi lucie. ” she murmurs, her eyes hesitantly looking at the other. “ so, so sorry. i swear, it was all my fault. my heel game is a little rubbish today. ”

[luciegdi-blog]

there was something awfully unnerving about being 5′2″ in a crowd of people who were well over that height. most of the time, lucie didn’t realize she was small, but as somebody ran into her, she felt like the world was ending. that may have been because she was intoxicated, however, and as she heard that all too familiar voice, lucie’s face fell and her guard rose. there weren’t enough words in the world to describe the aching in her chest, the burning anger she felt, or the pride that so often took over her emotions. she would shut down. but what was worse was the fact that blair was beautiful. even through all of the emotions she felt, she couldn’t look away. it was like a car crash to her. “yeah, it’s fine. heels -- right, yeah,” she stumbled over her words. “you look nice. you don’t need heels though. you tower over most of us.”

[dcllasmc-blog]

“hey, woah,” dallas says through a laugh, backing away just a bit. he puts his hand on lucie’s shoulder to try to get her to balance, and he just laughs as he tries to look at the frosting now on his cheek. “careful. you okay?” he asks her, watching her with amusement.

[luciegdi-blog]

“am i okay?” lucie raises a brow, obviously confused. why was everyone asking her that? “yeah, i’m great! i mean, it’s a birthday party. what’s not to love?” as his hand rests on her shoulder, she tilts her head to the side. “okay, i’ll let you in on a little secret,” lucie leaned in the tiniest bit. “i’m drunk. where there is drunk, there is drink. but i am totally okay.”

[kcrmah]

blakely was planning on a pretty lowkey night - nothing too crazy. she hadn’t even begun drinking yet, instead just sipping from a water bottle and hanging towards the back. people watching can be the most entertaining part of these events, blakely has found. she’s lifted out of her train of thought by a touch to her face, and she reaches up to wipe away the sugary treat. “do you mind?” blakely asked, glancing over to an unfamiliar face. “personal space is still considered common decency between strangers, no?”

[luciegdi-blog]

as soon as the girl turned around, lucie knew that she was in for an intense conversation. “i was just trying to play around, sorry ‘bout invading your personal bubble or whatever. parties are supposed to be fun, no?” she mocked teasingly. for once, instead of shooting flames from her eyes, the girl was trying to stay calm. after all, she had been rather forward. “i’m lucie. how have we not met yet?”