Lol we Fucked Fam

If you have to yell you have already lost control of the situation.

[greelin]

damn that’s wild. Maybe the solution is gay sex

[greelin]

as it so often is.

[sandersstudies]

Why does it feel weird and intimate to mention that someone was in even the most innocuous of your dreams? Sorry my subconscious decided to think about you for a second. You were a curator at an ice cream museum that was also my second grade classroom. If you even care.

[civilization-deactivated2030]

Touching grass is not enough i need to rip and break through asphalt and concrete until the earth is free again

[batfamgalore]

*Dick, Jason, Tim, Duke and Damian walk by and they’re all covered in glitter and slime and feathers and holding water guns*

Bruce: I would ask what’s going on, but then you’d tell me, and why would I want that?

[mammutblog]

jason todd unique second child privileges

[rollerskate2theface]

Wally: He’s stalking you!!

Dick: Please Slade isn’t even my most dedicated stalker… he is

7 year old Tim Drake: Haha Uh …hi

[unholyblissafterdark]

[therobotmonster]

If you read comics, you're delusional if you think they haven't.

[keratin-moth]

Dick, after sleeping for 4 hours due to a nightmare, an exhausting police shift, a long Blüdhaven patrol and an annoyingly long meeting with Batman before their Gotham patrol: Guys please can you quiet down? I can’t focus.

Jason and Damian looking concerned: We haven’t said anything in the past 30 minutes??

Tim on his 52nd hour of no sleep full of caffeine: You hear the voices too?

[arguablysomaya]

Tim: Can we stay with you tonight?

Dick: Both of you? What happened?

Damian: Someone was playing with an ouija board and cursed the whole Manor.

Tim: Jason wasn’t any help. He doesn’t know how to banish spirits, so he’s just throwing salt at them yelling “does this look like a hotel to you!?”

[strawberrylet]

idea: batman and the robins never acknowledge that there have been different robins. like they all act that there's only been one and that they're the same person basically.

Justice League who's used to teen dick not kid jason: who is this child?

Batman: what do you mean, it's robin.

-

Batman and Tim walking through the watchtower:

Justice League who remembers robin literally dying: ...*side eye*...

-

Flash: batman… who is this?

Batman: robin. you’ve met before. several times.

Flash: no, i met a black haired boy. this is a blonde girl!

Batman: her name is robin

-

Superman: it's time for you to explain. where are you getting all these children?

Batman: i have no idea what you're talking about.

Superman *pointing to damian*: who is this kid?!

Damian: i'm robin. i'm offended you would even ask that? don't you remember *proceeds to recite a story dick told him of his robin days*

[confused-wanderer]

Sometimes when Dicks just too tired to deal with the batfam’s shit he starts encouraging them.

================================

Surrounded by gang members and caught in the crossfire between two gangs

Jason *pulling out a gun* : I’m gonna fucking obliterate all of them

Nightwing: Go right ahead

Jason: .. you serious? I’m not playing Dick I WILL shoot every single one of them in the head

Nightwing: sure.

Jason:

Nightwing: What you want me to start? Okay.

Jason: .. Dick why the fuck do you have a gun? DICK STOP LOADING THE GUN-

================================

At a stakeout waiting for the proof before intervening

Tim: Why can’t we just force a confession instead of waiting for him to crack?

Stephanie: Ooo or threaten him with blackmail so bad he starts crying!

Duke: Guys *eyes point to Dick sitting in a corner*

Stephanie: Right.. party pooper

Nightwing:

Nightwing: Okay got it.

*heads out*

Duke: No Dick wait! We were joking!

Stephanie: drama queen just needs a minute sunshine- wait is that him approaching the target?

Tim *who’s seen this happen before* *panicking knowing what’s gonna go down* : OH SHIT ABORT-

================================

Being stuck with a very annoying henchmen who won’t stop talking

Damian: .. Can we simply shut him up?

Nightwing: whatever you wanna do

Damian *narrows eyes*: I can’t ruin my katanna for this

Nightwing: *hands him knife*

Damian:

Nightwing: And remember, the most effective place to silence someone without causing them excruciating pain and also temporarily depriving them of air is right here *points to a small area on the neck*

Damian: ..

Nightwing: .? Go on?

Damian *putting it away* : .. no..

================================

It works a 1000 times more effectively just because either all of them are bluffing or they’re scared Dick’s not.

[dc-and-damirae]

random hero: aren't you embarrassed about being related to the villain red hood?

Dick: honestly, I'm more embarrassed about being related to Tim

*Tim walks in covered in glitter and offers no explanation*

Jason watching on the monitors at his safe house: lol

[loosepocketchange01]

[cigamfossertsim]

tim standing over jasons bed in his safe house in the middle of the night like some kind of paralysis demon:

arise, motherfucker. im having a crisis

[arguablysomaya]

Jason: I think I’m coming down with something. I’ve been so nauseous lately

Dick, seriously: Maybe you’re pregnant

*they sit there in silence for a moment*

Jason: I don’t know who’s the bigger idiot. You for suggesting that, or me because I almost had a panic attack

[animentality]

[incorrectbatfam]

Jason: I get really offended when people tell me I’m going to hell for being gay because I feel like they’re overlooking all the perfectly valid reasons I’m going to hell.