Louie crushed his tenth cigarette within the hour in the glass ash tray and started the eleventh. He sat in his high back chair looking out at Manchester. The tips of his fingers had started tpo get a yellow tint but the rest of his gaunt features were pale. His Brazilian tan was long gone. His face was thinner and his eyes had thick bags under them. He awoke each night to gun shots. He couldn’t get the death of Amelia out of his head. He only ate one meal a day, mainly to shut his stomach up. The rest of his caloric intake was whiskey.
Some nights only cocaine would keep the thoughts out. Because he would end up running around picking up or playing a video game. His desk was covered in paperwork and a lone picture of his daughter. Clark had gotten it. The small brunette girl was eight or nine he wasn’t really sure. She looked so much like Charlie it was hard to look at some days. This lone picture had kept the gun from his temple and his finger off the trigger. He wasn’t going out like a bitch even if Luke tore his empire apart piece by piece brick by brick. Louie would go down swinging, but not yet.
Louie was in hiding to lick his wounds. Luke would pay for this but he had to be smart about it. As he heard footsteps he slowly turned and took in a long drag before flicking the ash off. He thought he smiled but his face remained blank. His eyes looked past Mac, he put out the cigarete and stood up to shake her hand. He had lost weight and his suit was getting baggy. As if he was a child in his father’s clothes trying to play adult. His grip was weak when he shook her hand and his voice cracked. He hadn’t spoken in hours and he almost forgot how his voice sounded. And the eleven cigarettes didn’t help. He took a sip of whiskey and spoke up.
“I am at rock bottom if you couldn’t tell. I will not treat you like a child and lie. Luke took something very dear to me this week.” He said and his voice quivered before he said her name. “Amelia was…”
He couldn’t say it because then it would be real.
Mac had finally gotten a hold of Louie only to feel like the shit was about to hit the fan. Either that or he was taste testing a lot of product. Why the fuck would I bring Luke anywhere? And since when does Louie have a daughter? She didn’t know what was going on. She grabbed her gear and the bottles of whiskey Ana had left at her place. She might as well take them to Louie’s. She could have a few drinks with the old man and maybe get him to see that dealing wasn’t for her any more. At least she hoped. The money in her account was still troubling her but she was done thinking about it for the day. She’d fired off a text to the one person she knew was successful without being batshit crazy. Maybe she could help her with it. Mac knew she needed to invest it and wanted the gym most of all. But she needed advice. Her mind was still lingering on Mia whom she hadn’t heard anything from. She wrote a note letting her know when she’d be back. Ever since she’d left, every time Mac stepped foot outside the house she’d write one. She had a pile of those notes in a drawer now.
She grabbed her helmet and only put it on cause the road to Manchester was long and she didn’t want to eat bugs during the ride. She stopped at her crop location and picked up her scheduled deliveries and a couple of other packets. Buyers always seemed to show up like she was the pied piper. Every time she sold now she looked into people’s eyes and wondered if they meant something
to someone. Guilt was a powerful thing. She needed to get clear of this. She pushed her Raptor pretty hard and made it to the city limits in a little over two hours. Ana would probably be pissed off at that. She’d likely be pissed off at the not wearing a helmet when doing short rides too. She met up with people, did her thing and collected the money. She passed along her number to a couple people who were looking for possible private parties. After she did her rounds, she headed for Louie’s place. When she got there, most of the lights were off and the place smelled old. She knocked but tried the door. Unlocked. She kept her backpack on as she put her hand on her gun.
She found him in his study looking like week old chicken soup - discolored and slightly moldy. “Boss?” She shook his hand and realized not only was he looking like shit but was smelling it a bit. What the fuck was going on? “I knew there was something different about you.. rock bottom.. can’t say I like it.” She paused when he said Luke’s name again. Something dear. The mention of his daughter then no. She was alive otherwise Louie wouldn’t have mentioned her dying in front of him. Then he said her name. Amelia. She took in his appearance. The tone of his voice. She clenched her jaw and shook her head. Her stomach already knotting up. “Amelia was on the run.. she was out of harm’s way.. you told me she would be alright.. that she knew how to care for herself.” She sounded angry. “Don’t..”
Louie walked over to her, he could hear the anger and it was justified. He had failed to protect the only woman he loved. She had trusted him and was now probably in a river or being eaten by animals. He wouldn’t be surprised with whatever Luke would have done. He placed his hand on her cheek unable to comfort her. Unsure of how to actually. He couldn’t see her break so he turned away, he couldn’t speak and his mouth was dry. He turned back and took the whiskey, pouring them two glasses and he handed her the whiskey and held it up.
“Cheers to the only woman fucked up enough to love me,” he said and chuckled.
Louie finished the glass with one pull and set it down; the burn didn’t make him feel any better. Nothing was working. He licked his dry lips and held back his emotions; he was tired of feeling them. The guilt and sadness bubbled up. He looked to Mac to see if she had that look. The look of disappointment a look he had seen on his father’s face and on Charlie’s face. She seemed to be pulling away and right now she could kill him and take full control. She may not think it but she was ambitious, it’s why he took her under his wing.
He had been trying to mold her because at one point he feared death. He was so sure Luke was going to kill him. But then Blaine ratted him out and got the bullet he deserved. Soon Keegan would suffer the same fate as the Russian Wolf. But Louie was going to tear him apart, slowly. But he wasn’t ready he wasn’t in a killing mood. He reached out and grabbed the school picture of the little brunette that looked so much like Charlie. He covered his mouth to clear his throat.
“I don’t know her name, but she is safe. I get updates about her from someone higher up in the food chain,” he said. “I don’t think I’ll ever know her and it hurts but she’s safe from him. He had to stop grinding his teeth but the thought of Luke brought a small fit of rage. He paced around the room, unsure if Mac would speak or ask more questions. He could tell she wanted something and his paranoia was running wild.
The words hurt. He failed her, Amelia. She’s dead. Luke got to her and she’s dead. Louie handed her a glass and toasted her. She raised her glass and touched his then downed the liquid. Her eyes drifted to the ground. Images of a fierce woman flashed through her head. Insane but fucking fearless. She hoped she took a piece of Luke with her. She put her glass down and took a seat. She didn’t really look at Louie. She was somewhere in between anger and sadness. Amelia died cause of him. She took off her backpack and set it on the ground. She unzipped it and took out the two bottles. She handed him one as he showed her a picture of a little girl. She didn’t look much at it but she reminded her of someone. He was talking about her being safe. Maybe that’s why she didn’t linger too much on the photo. The less she knew about her the better.
Mac cracked the bottle open and took a long pull from it. She wiped her mouth. “Staying away from her is wise. You’re not meant to be a father Louie. Not when you’re living this life. Amelia.. she’s dead cause of you? Cause of something you did or simply cause she loved you?” She stared at the bottle in her hand. “Who stabbed me Louie? I’ve a feeling you know who the fuck it was and why…” She took another pull and capped the bottle. She needed to go easy. Alcohol and rage didn’t go well together. “Yeah.. I wanted to chat..But I need answers first.” She finally looked up and met his dead eyes. “I’m sorry for your loss… I am. She was completely fucked in the head but I liked her. A lot.” Cracking her neck, she looked at him. “Direct and to the point.. I need to move out of dealing. I don’t want to leave the family exactly.. but I want to move into other venues…maybe work entertainment at the clubs.. something.. but not drugs.” She uncapped the bottle once more and took a smaller swig.
“I know, she deserves a real family and she has it. But you know me; everything of mine should be the best.” Louie tried to joke but he didn’t crack a smile. “”It was my fault and it was the man that hurt you.”
Louie let that sink in as he poured himself another. He needed to get the whole story out. But he let her talk about not wanting to deal. It felt like a dagger to the heart. She was his best, she made him the most money. She was a people person and she was tough. He sighed with anger, his first emotion besides sadness this night. Having her be just a DJ or a pub owner was like losing Amelia all over again. He assumed it was like trading your best player in a sport. He felt his hand tighten around the glass and he nodded. But he stayed quiet because he had to explain Amelia.
“Keegan, street urchin type real scrappy. I saw a bit of my old self in him Bernard. Young and willing to get his hands dirty. Problem is he wasn’t loyal to me but my money. He got jealous because you are better. He thought I favored you over him and I do because I say jump and you jump as high as you can. He’s been on the run but remember that bald bloke that found Mia. He’s been tracking him and Clark will soon collect him and I will take care of him as I do.”
Louie took a few more sips, all this talking felt so foreign. The last few days he had been dealing with her death. Mac would need to know how he knew all this. Because since going on the run no one had heard from Amelia. He would have found her one day and leave this life behind. They wouldn’t have kids, neither of them had the ability. He took a few more sips just incase Mac wanted to interject. He breathed out as he told the rest of the story.
“Keegan wanted to attack one of the whatever the fuck Luke calls his merry men,” he said after a final sip. “So I hired a bounty hunter remember the mountain covered in tats that never spoke? That was Blain the Russian Wolf. He was far enough removed that we could of got away had thy not gone into the billiard hall. So Luke called a meeting in Dubai and you know me the big softy, I covered for Keegan by that time he was already in hiding so I wasn’t really doing much leg work. They got Blaine and he said Amelia set up the hit and I tried my best to cover for her but also show that I didn’t care.”
“I didn’t want Luke to know I loved her, I thought he would rough her up but I sent her away and I watched him torture and kill her and I want to be dead but then he wins and he can’t win.”
She could tell he wasn’t thrilled with what she said about dealing. It was a glimmer of anger that she wouldn’t have noticed but he was so far gone mentally and physically that it was clearly apparent. She listened to him go on about some bloke named Keegan. Street urchin? “Long hair, olive skin, facial hair? Fucking nuts?” She asked because she wanted to make sure. He was going on about it all. He explained who the guy was, how he was only loyal to the money, reminded him of his younger self. How she jumped when he snapped his fingers and that’s why she was knifed. This guy was measuring his dick against her vagina and hers was the winner. Great. I was in a pissing contest and didn’t even know. She shook her head. At least he would be found and taken care of. She took another drink. “That’s why he called me sis? Cause he sees you are dear old dad and I’m the good kid? Fucking outstanding.” She was pissed off now. For Amelia and for herself. At Luke, at Louie and at this Keegan shit. He’d ignored her condolences and figured he was in denial.
“Yeah I remember the walking mountain.” She remembered the incident in the billiard hall. Luke was rabid about his buttboy Jake. “Jesus fucking Christ.. that’s why she got killed??” She couldn’t believe how something so insignificant had caused so much trouble. She remembered Louie changing, how she had thought he’d found Jesus or some shit. All of that happened because of this. “She got killed cause this Keegan shit went after a Lost Boy..with your okay and your muscle.. and you covered for his sorry ass? Then he comes at me??” What he said next made things slide into absolute chaos inside her. She stood up and threw the bottle against the wall. “You watched? You fucking watched and did nothing? What the fuck Louie? You fucking loved her and you did nothing?” She stepped right up to him. She wanted to throttle him.
“Yes that is him and I covered for him before he came for you or well I didn’t know it was him then,” he said and bent down. “I didn’t want there to be a rat. I was blinded by arrogance. I thought we were a family and I fucked up. I was stupid and cocky and now.”
Louie trailed off, he let her speak. Hearing the anger in her voice. She had to be angry and he knew she hated him. He hated himself, he hated how powerless he had become. Seeing here there as she taunted Luke. Only screaming when he cut her hand off. He wouldn’t tell her what he saw. She didn’t need to know how awful it was and how awful he felt. The bottle flew across the room and exploded against the wall. Louie was glad he didn’t have a fireplace. He stood up and took her shoulders.
“I understand your anger and I know that you’ll never forgive me even though I didn’t know you knew her. But I could do nothing, I had her flying to new places almost daily. I had her name changed, Clark faked her death and she had no paper trail.”
Louie let go, he wished she could understand his situation. He was under the thumb of five of the most powerful humans. He couldn’t save Amelia unless he killed them, their families and their family’s families. It would be a body count of thousands and he wasn’t a one man super soldier. Sometimes he wondered if Mac thought he was more powerful than he was. He sure acted like he was king shit. But in the grand scheme of things he was barely a Duke.
“Have I told you who I work for? Have I? Because there was no way to save her and you can blame me until the world ends but that will do nothing. I was powerless, I am a gnat compered to these people. You think you know how the world works well guess what, you’re dead wrong. Everyone is dead wrong. Robert Martin is a God that controls everything. The Queen doesn’t fart unless he says so.” He said. “So hate me all you want it does nothing.”
“Blinded by arrogance..” She repeated. No paper trail. She shook her head. He started talking about who he worked for and her anger grew. “A gnat? What happened to the big talk Louie? King Louie.. isn’t that what you were? You were going to rule the world and now you’re telling me you’re a fucking gnat?” She stepped away and paced. “I trusted you. I put my faith in you.. your plans.. your talk of family..It was all bullshit..” There were tears of anger and sadness in her eyes now. “I did everything you asked.. Everything.. Like you said.. I only ever asked how high.. and you were feeding me a line about being a king.. that’s great.” She wiped at her eyes and wanted to be away from him. The idea of putting a bullet in his head was there but to what end? He didn’t deserve mercy. And that’s what it would be. He looked like shit. He deserved what he had. Nothing.
Arrogant. Yes, he was. “I don’t hate you Louie… hate is a wasted emotion. But you are to blame for Amelia’s death. For hiring some stupid bounty hunter to do a fool’s errand because you were so tired of Luke getting away with things. Luke.. Luke Martin.. Robert Martin.. his father or grandfather? Uncle?” She laughed. “You work for his family? You have an outstanding feud with this guy and work for his family? Above my pay grade? That’s what you said.. this isn’t above my pay grade. This is lunacy. You shouldn’t have gone against him in the first place Louie. Even I know that.” Her head was pounding. “I’m going to be sick.” She ran off to the bathroom and made it to the toilet when she lost her stomach contents. She wretched for a while. Amelia couldn’t have gone quietly. She had to have hurt Luke. She should have had bodyguards, not Mac.
“I have a plan,” he said but most likely to deaf ears. “It takes time, first I had to kill Escobar and then the Families next. He started this war Mac and if I had known his Grandfather was in charge all those years ago I would have ignored Luke. But he stole Charlie from me and I was too weak to kill her when I had the chance.” Louie said.
Mac was pacing and speaking quickly, his eyes followed her as he listened. He had delusions of grandeur but he still wanted to be the top dog. He needed a bigger army, more power more money more muscle. But Luke continued to trip him up and slow him down. She accused him of being insane and maybe he was. She didn’t know the whole picture like a jigsaw puzzle she only had some of it together and she quickly ran off. He grabbed his hand gun and put it behind his holster in his jacket.
He didn’t want to kill her but if she tried anything he would have to. But hew trusted her and now she thought she had been fed bullshit. He had meant those words. But in his moment of weakness the darkness consumed him. Fear made him weak and now he had to scramble to return to her good graces. He walked to the restroom making sure the gun was hidden. Just in case. He rested his arm on the door frame.
“Mackenzie, you need to trust me. I can take him out but not now. This is why I need you dealing. I need the money to get more dealers. I need money to hire someone to do my dirty work. I need you Mac more than ever. I can’t just run at the Five Families with an assault rifle because not only will I be killed everyone you love will. Who’s that girl you fuck the emo looking one Annie? They’ll skin her alive while you watch. We have to be smart about this.”
He knew it was a long shot, he knew his silver tongue would only work for so long. But if she tried to get away from this she would. In a body bag. But mac was smart and just crazy enough to not run and hide. He brought his arm down from the door frame he heard a final wretch but she was just dry heaving. He licked his lips and breathed out.
“I need time Mac and I need you to keep killin’ it in the streets. I don’t bullshite you when I say I need you. We’re family, you’re they key to our success,” he said. “Don’t be daft and throw this away.”
He’d been babbling about the feud. He mentioned Luke then Chalie. She was going over his words as she dry heaved into the toilet. He was insane. He went after Luke over a girl. Fucking Christ. She flushed the toilet and washed her face. He was standing at the door. She stared at him. “Trust you? I got stabbed because of you. Louie… How much coke are you doing? Do you hear yourself? You told me this guy rules the world…you called him a God and you’re fighting his grandson over a piece of tail?” She shook her head. “I could be on the streets 24 hours a day and you won’t ever have enough.. As much product as we’re pushing, this guy has to be pushing more.. among other things..” She ran a hand through her hair, stepping past him. She turned to look at him. “Five families?” She laughed. “Let me guess.. you’re not really a true family member?”
She roared. He really believed he could win this. “What the fuck Louie? Have some sense. You will never be a king. You’re lucky they haven’t killed you.” Why wasn’t he seeing this? Maybe he really did love her. Maybe he snapped because of it. She shook her head. “A month… you have a month of me on the streets. You’ve been at this a long time and haven’t done it yet. Another month then I walk. I won’t die for you because of.. wait.. Charlie? Your daughter… she’s Charlie’s isn’t she? For fuck’s sake..” She covered her face with her hands and thought about the resemblance. “This is unbelievable.”
“Not anymore,” he yelled. “At first it was here and then I pushed back and then he killed Colin. My last friend before you were here Mac. He can not take over for his grandfather. I can stop them I know I can. I don’t care about Charlie anymore. You’re really going to hold this stabbing over my head? How about I hold Mia over your head? Oh wait we’re adults, shit happens. You won’t be stabbed again.”
He understood her anger and knew they could work through this. She gave him an ultimatum and it took every fiber of his being to not laugh in her face and pull out his gun. But he pushed down his pride because he did value Mac. But she also needed to realize who was in charge. He sighed and nodded. But internally he wanted to show her that she had no say. If he was just a gnat she was a speck of dust. But he stayed calm and looked at her.
“The Five are The Head, Mind, Body, Heart and Soul. I’m in the Body’s family and he is the reason we have product and dealers in fifty of the cities east of Bristol. When I worked for Escobar I was less than nobody and when Clark faked my death he brought me in to the Families. So give me two months,” he said and pointed at her. “I trust you more than Clark and that’s the most honest thing I have ever said.”
Louie moved closer and not for intimidation. He didn’t try to stand taller. He reached out because in his mind he knew he could do this insane plan. He needed allies and with Keegan against him and a few hundred faceless dealers she was one of the few he cared for. Not like Amelia and he would never find anyone like her. As if she had been created for him. He took her shoulder and squeezed lightly.
“We’re family Mac, and I will get you off the streets just give me two months, sixty-ish days. Do you want to own a pub or dance club? When’s your birthday I’ll buy you one. Want something else? Ask me,” he said and looked at her, he probably looked like a skeleton. “I would never lie to you Mac and I may have failed but I refuse to fail again.”
“It isn’t just the stabbing Louie! For Christ’s sake. Amelia is fucking dead. Because of her ties to you. Because of choices and shit decisions you made over this fight with Lucifer. I don’t want to end up dead.” She said it out loud. She wasn’t invincible even if he thought he was. “You can’t tell me I won’t be stabbed again. Maybe not by this asshole once you manage to track him down. But there will always be someone else in your war.” She shook her head. “You knew I knew Amelia.. we talked about it once. She was my boss first.”
He started talking about the families. She didn’t care. “I really don’t care about the families.. they don’t give a shit about me. They could scrape me off their shoe tomorrow. It’s like Escobar when I worked for him. He didn’t give a shit about me and vice versa.” He told her he trusted her more than Clark. “You trust me more than him cause I jump remember? He is your conscience.” She thought about this. “You have two months. I’m off the streets in two months. I don’t want you to buy me anything Louie.” She shook her head again. “Money is nice.. but family and protection.. that’s what drew me to you… We aren’t really protected though are we? At least I’m not.. You’re a gnat.. that makes me so much more expendable doesn’t it?” She swallowed. “I’ll work for you.. in another capacity.. no more drugs after two months… I’ll also venture out on my own.. something that doesn’t interfere with your businesses.”
“Firstly Amelia was killed because she wasn’t a part of the family. You are protected Mac unless another one of my dealers goes rogue. Keegan will be taken care of. But you are one of my workers there for if you are attacked than whomever does so is ruined,” he said and a small smile appeared. “Actually I would love for Luke to come at you because then he is disowned and well I forgot about you and her. I do coke on occasion.”
Things seem to be calming down, she went on about leaving the game and he had made a promise even though it killed him. Louie previously would have never done this. She would have had to work until she was dead. Slinging his candy throughout England and if he ever became big enough other parts of the world. Would she eventually be killed off, most likely. But then there would be one less family because if you fuck with a made man you are gone.
“Two months and you won’t have to sling but you may need to do cash pick-ups. Those are safe and easy. If only Amelia had worked for me she would have been safe. Remember you’re safe under me as long as no other rats appear. I try to run a tight ship.”
He lead her out of the bathroom. Hoping she was calm even though a small part of him was angry. She was his best and she was being benched. He thought about that smug little prick Keegan. He wasn’t sure what he would do. Maybe Michael and Gavin could finish him off. They would have a good laugh while Louie watched. The thought of Keegan’s death brought a glimmer of happiness but he still kept an emotionless face as he poured some more whiskey.
“Wait does this mean you won’t bash some blokes around for me> I could have Gavin hold them down. Or Michael they both have been working out. I do love how you fuck people up Mac.” Louie asked after a sip of whiskey. We could go out tonight for old time sake.”
Louie was trying to justify how the woman he supposedly loved was killed. She kept her mouth shut because he was clearly off his rocker and nothing she said would sink in. He actually believed all the crap he was saying about families and ruination. Yeah on occasion my ass.. Louie you fucking fried what brain cells you had. “Cash pick ups are fine. I can do those.” It wasn’t ideal but at least she would be away from the product. That was a big step. She shook her head again. Safe under him as long as no other rats appear. How comforting. Fucking twat. She smiled and nodded. They were out of the bathroom and he was pouring more alcohol. That’s exactly what he needs.
She looked at him. He looked easily ten years older than what he was. Consumed by hatred, jealousy and insanity. His skin oily, grey. His hair matted and dirty. This wasn’t the man she met. Then again he was that man only someone had knocked him off his soapbox. He didn’t even have a throne. Not really. For all his talk about being king, running an empire, he was a nobody. Did he run drugs for some quiet syndicate? Yes. But did he have real power? No. He was a figure head that could be replaced. At best a bishop on a chessboard. He would never be king and he didn’t realize it. He could put a bullet in his head and nobody would blink. They would let the body be carted off and someone else appointed to his post. He was just as meaningless as she was.
“I’ve never needed anyone to hold people down Louie. And it depends on the person and why.” She didn’t want to end up like him. Alone and bitter. And batshit crazy, don’t forget that. She also didn’t want to end up dead which was where she would end up. Not long ago she had come to terms with dying in the streets over someone else’s bullshit. But having Ana in her life had changed that. She wanted more than that for herself and hers. “Louie.. I don’t think it would be a good idea for us to go out tonight… not like you think. You should go upstairs.. take a really long shower, grab some fresh clothes.. we can burn these later.. and we can go get dinner. You look like you haven’t eaten in a week. Can’t run a tight ship looking like this.” All she could think of was why Clark wasn’t taking care of him if he was so loyal. “Come on.. a nice steak.. Fuck I’ll even treat you.”
“Shower, food, yeah,” he said softly.
As things settled he returned to his aloof self. Broken and battered as he told himself more lies. He finished the glass and walked slowly. He didn’t stumble but his footsteps were soft as a mouse. He opened the door and walked to the stairs. His fingers traced the banister as he walked up. Amelia came into his mind and he stopped. He looked back and Mac wasn’t there. He had felt someone behind him but brushed it off and ascended. He took his clothes off slowly and let them hit the ground.
Drying off after his hot shower he still looked dead. But like a freshly cleaned skeleton. Or one you would see in a science classroom. He lathered his face to shave the stubble. Once he was pristine he noticed how he couldn’t smile. Flashes of the night of her death hit him. He stumbled back and nearly hit the ground again. His breathing quickened and he felt like he was going to scream so he stifled it. He closed his eyes and tried to steady himself. He breathed out and opened his eyes.
“I failed but I won’t fail again,” he whispered.
His mopey face became stern and he stood up straight. He went to his closet and picked out his best suit. The material felt good on his clean skin. He put on cuff links so the suit didn’t look baggy. He left his room with shiny black shows and a bright red tie. The broken Louie was now hidden away. But it was not gone. He wouldn’t ever become the man he once was. He could fake it but that’s all it ever would be. He looked to Mac and wore a fake grin.
“Now if your idea of treat is Nandos, I’ll be the one to kill ya,” he said and motioned for her to follow.
He wanted to drive one of his sports cars. He wanted to feel and hear the engine roar. He wanted to feel powerful again. He cracked his knuckles before entering the garage and picking his car. It was cherry red and only had two seats. The leather seats squeaked as he got in and took the wheel. As his fingers curled around the steering wheel he felt the power, he turned it on once she was in and he pulled out before driving. The wind felt amazing in his hair.
“The king’s not dead yet,” he said as he sped up.
As Louie took his leave for what Mac hoped was a serious cleansing, she looked about. Her thoughts were going a mile a minute. Amelia was gone. No matter what he claimed about families, it was Louie’s fault. She was a nobody and Luke wouldn’t have given two shits about her if she hadn’t been involved with Louie. And family. What a fucking joke. Newsflash Louie you claim Amelia as yours and the so-called family thing covers her no? Ohh that’s right. No. It doesn’t. Cause the head of the so-called family shit is Luke’s granddaddy. Right. Fucking idiot. You sure can pick'em Mackenzie.
She wandered to where the picture of the little girl was. She picked it up and looked at it. Louie and Charlie had a fucking kid. She shook her head and put the picture down. Kid you lucked out in the genetic department. Mac didn’t think too much of Charlie. She was cold blooded and could be calculating but she wasn’t top of the food chain in her book. At least the kid was off somewhere safe. She wondered if Luke knew Charlie had popped out evil spawn. She shuddered thinking about it. She grabbed her bag and zipped it up. She waited in the front hall for Louie to show his face. Hopefully he wouldn’t be wearing a bath robe and think himself that crazy millionaire guy who drank his own piss. Wait did he drink his own piss? Oh what the fuck was his name? He had a plane or something. That kid Leo played him.
He showed up wearing decent attire and matching shoes. She was grateful. When Louie mentioned Nando’s, she shook her head. “I said steak.. pretty sure they don’t serve that.” She followed him to one of his cars. She got in and buckled her belt. “I’m sure you can find a place in town to serve a good steak.. raw as you like.. and some sort of decent dessert. This is your town after all.”
“I’m not an animal but I love a rare steak and I don’t have much of a sweet tooth,” he said. “I’m more of a savory bloke. If you could have any meal what would it be? I had a slice of pizza in New York once and I have yet to have a better slice than that.”
He passed a few cars but he wasn’t going over the speed limit. He wasn’t driving recklessly but he wouldn’t say he was overly cautious. But unlike Mac he wasn’t in a seat belt. He never cared for them. He wasn’t sure when he stopped wearing them but he liked how free he felt. As he drove into Manchester proper he turned onto Castle St. He parked his car in front of Albert’s Shed, Castlefield. He wasn’t sure when he had last been here but he was sure it was when he had proposed to Charlie.
“Best steaks in town, small portions but par for the course,” he said as he adjusted his tie.
Louie was sure the wait staff was different. It had been a few years since then he wasn’t really sure anymore. Time slipped away especially this week. With Clark gone looking for Keegan he had fallen into such a state. He had to make sure it didn’t happen again. He smiled at the hostess and slipped some money to get a table. He didn’t have the patients to wait. A waiter quickly came over and walked them to the table he explained some of their specials as they sat down.
“I already know what I want, I’ll have the fillet mignon and whatever wine pairs with it,” he said and smiled.
Louie waited for her to order unsure if she would get the same. People surrounded them and they all were speaking. The atmosphere was nice but it was strange. He hadn’t been around people. His fingers tapped on the table. He then unraveled his napkin and placed it on his lap. His eyes examined the silverware. He looked over to mac. He realized how different they were. She didn’t seem like the type to be in a place like this especially with someone like Louie.
“How are things with you? Done anything fun lately?” he asked. “No lady troubles?”
She watched the road not really paying attention to any one thing. He mentioned not having a sweet tooth then asked what her favorite meal would be. She wanted to say pussy but that wasn’t a conversation she wanted to have with him. He has listed pizza for his. “Yeah New York is good for pizza.. but I’d probably dig into one at Marcello’s on Castro St over any New York slice any day. Fucking loved going there after the club.” She didn’t know if he knew the place or not. She wasn’t sure where he’d traveled. “I’m not one to really hang on to food though. A good meal is nice.. even if it were Nando’s” Liv introduced her to that. She wondered where she was now. If she was dead or alive. If she was alive, Mac would likely kick her ass for getting her into all of this.
“Sometimes small means you enjoy it more.. you know?” She was making conversation, staying away from her emotions. Face impassive, save for a smile here and there. She’d gotten him out of the house. That was good. Whether he was a nutter or not, he was still the boss and if he went any further south, shit could get worse. Better the devil you know. They were seated quickly. It was a nice place. A little classier that she would go to but only cause she didn’t like putting on airs. Places like this were all about appearance. Probably why he frequented it. “Do you come here often? Like they know you?” She asked as she put her napkin on her lap. She’d been taught manners by her parents eons ago. The waitress came and Louie ordered first. She decided that it would be easiest to order the same. “Oh and a glass of water please… with lemon.”
“Things are good..” Anything fun? Training a kid to box. Lady troubles? Mia ran off to who knows where and I’m seriously in deep with Ana. Nope.. no lady troubles. “I’ve been getting back into shape after you know.. it’s good. Been running, training. Little difficult at first but all in al not bad. Lucky the fucker didn’t go an inch either way or I’d likely be shitting in a bag for a while.” She made a face. “Probably shouldn’t talk about stuff like that here. Too nice a place.” The waitress brought her water and smiled at her. She smiled back. After taking a sip, she looked at Louie. “What happens now?”
“I’ll make a note to check that place out,” he said. “Here? It’s been a while, it was a date.”
Louie kept it basic, he was sick of soiling his tongue with her name. She was dead to him now and if only he had finished the job. He had killed Callie to hurt Luke but Luke probably didn’t even care. Probably was glad to rid of her. If Louie remembered right she was a bit annoying. A red wine was placed down along with her water. She also kept it very simple. He assumed she wouldn’t speak of Mia or that goth girl. He couldn’t remember her name and then she asked a question he didn’t have the answer to.
“I need to talk with some people, pull in a few favors. Once Clark is back with my delivery and it’s taken care of I hope to be on track. Sadly I have nothing against Luke and if I did well I’m sure he would cut the last strand of mine. My daughter.”
He assumed if Luke took over his territory he would take some dealers and ignore or murder the rest. Going after him would just fuck everything up. He had to move past him, grow. Prove to the Five Families that he could be better. He had the best drugs around but he could always try to get more. Those were the favors he planned to pull. With the death of Escobar he helped loads of family members. He was a wild dog and now that dog was put down.
“I want the best product in town and I want people to associate with my brand. I already have a good foothold because of your work,” he said as the steaks arrived. “You can always DJ at any of my clubs. I would like more but I would need owners. I just have to keep growing and this looks fantastic, maybe I should buy the place.”
A date? She nodded. She looked around. Yeah it would make a nice dinner date. She ran a hand through her hair and thought about dating. The idea of taking someone out and planning it ahead. She wasn’t sure that could be pulled off. Not by her. She liked to go with the flow. See what the energy felt around her and decide on the moment. She listened as he talked about favors. He mentioned his daughter again and she wanted to ask why Luke hadn’t killed her yet. She held her tongue though. The less she knew, the better off she’d be. He started talking about brand and product. He mentioned it was her work that helped his business along. She knew he wasn’t happy about her quitting but she had made up her mind. This wouldn’t be her life. Not any more. She didn’t care about leaving a legacy and such but she did care about not helping someone else to their grave. Not because of drugs.
“Yeah.. I do want to dj. I’ve made contacts here in Manchester and London. I’d like to keep being house dj at the Broken Clover. Maybe get you bigger names in the door. I know a few that would love it.” She had renewed some connections from back home mainly because she was now on the circuit. Well, not really the circuit. She wouldn’t wander from home. UK was home now. She could handle a trip to the states and maybe guest. It would bring international business to his doorstep if she did. There was a whole host of people who traveled simply to party. A life she had left behind but maybe it was time to see about that again. Except for the drugs. No drugs. She didn’t need them and would be glad to be away from them. “This does look really good. Great choice for a restaurant.”
At least he would have his eyes always on her if she stayed at the clubs. He always had to keep people in check. She could get carried away with this new life. He had to make sure she stayed loyal. As he ate he started having second guesses. Why was she throwing away all the money that came with dealing. He chose to save it. Maybe in two months bring up how little she would make as a DJ. Try to play up how much more she could get if she stayed on. He would work out a whole speech.
“I’ll need a replacement for you, think you can find one? With all this planning and growth I’ll need help,” he said.
This would be the final talk of the night about her decision. He cut his steak into small bites. He wanted to savor each juice piece. He would take a sip of wine as if it clensed his palette. The waitress knew her stuff. It worked perfect with the steak. He wasn’t much of a wine drinker but this hit the spot. He looked up to her, she had mentioned earlier about getting in shape and he thought back to his weight lifting and boxing sessions.
“Looks like I’ll need to bulk up a bit. From all my experience women don’t like sticks,” he said. “Maybe do some boxing again. My muscles hadn’t atrophied so they shouldn’t be gone just a bit deflated.”
He made sure to steer the conversation after she answered. Normal people talked about work outs. He was normally so pressed for time he had these little visits to just talk business and be done with it. Although their last visit had been to the strip club and then a couple brawls. But it had been a fun night. Thinking he was one foot in the grave and then it became worse than death. He wished he had been the one tortured and murdered.
“I’ll put some feelers out there..for a replacement.” Was there someone she hated enough to hand over to crazy Louie? Yes. But she didn’t think Luke or Charlie would be willing to work for him. Maybe a shit dj she didn’t like. She ate her food and listened as Louie spoke. Fucking prick. Already thinking about other women. She was losing her appetite but kept eating. The steak wasn’t too big and she could handle that. She drank a bit of wine but it wasn’t something she was really into. There was a time and place for wine. And it wasn’t here. Definitely not with what she was feeling.
“Boxing is good cardio. Keeps you focused. Even if your muscles are only deflated, you shouldn’t let yourself go like you’ve been. It doesn’t look good.. and not simply to women.” She drank from her water instead. She wanted to tell him he looked as big a joke as he was. She wouldn’t though. That was for Clark to take care of. He was the one supposed to look after Louie, not her. That was well above her pay grade in her book. What she was doing was enough. She would let him talk, maybe get him thinking about something other than his ludicrous delusions. It was doubtful. People who were as far gone as he was didn’t suddenly snap out of it. He’d do well with some time in a sanitarium. Maybe he could put the boys in charge for a while. Get his head worked on. She knew she had a better chance of having tea with Charlie than that happening. “You used to have a trainer yeah?”
He wondered if she would find him a dealer. He could get Gavin and Michael to look around. Maybe they had some mates that needed paper. He wanted to start up his own family like an underboss. Clark was his consigliere and Louie hoped to one day have that position under the Body. He would be powerful then. But with an underboss he could also have a few Caporegime to watch over his dealers. Maybe his boys would get some promotions.
“That women thing was a joke, no one could ever compare to Amelia. She was perfect,” he said. “I’m full, you want the rest? My knife and fork are the only thing that touched the pieces.”
He tried to stay straight, he used his napkin to wipe his mouth. This faking positivity and being a mastermind had become exhausting. But he soldiered on. He knew how to keep up appearances but it was eating him up inside. He wasn’t used to these feelings. It reminded him of his former life. As Bernard the young drug dealer trying to get noticed. Before Charlie left him, before he nearly died. Before being tricked to kill his mates. She also looked like her gears were grinding. He had so many secrets but everyone did but his were awful.
“It wasn’t serious, mainly just basic stuff. It was sort of a side hobby,” he said and finished his glass of wine. “Too bad you want out, you’d be a great Underboss, ya know second in command. Watch over some others who watch over dealers. Sorry I’ll stop.”
He motioned for some help and when the waitress came he ordered some water just plain water. She game over and he told her to leave the pitcher. He poured a glass for himself and had a felling he was going on too much about the business. He just didn’t want to lose her. She had to see that he held up on a higher level than the others. She had to see he cared. He contrary to what people thought he had feelings.
“If you’ve never been to Brazil, you need to change that. I bet you would love it, the food is on another level.” Louie said as he got nostalgic about his time with Amelia.
He mentioned the woman thing was a joke. “No I don’t want the rest. And it isn’t time for jokes like that Louie. Not for me.” She wasn’t about to indulge him in the idea that he could make comments like that without some form of complaint on her behalf. Amelia deserved better. Yes, she was psychotic but she had a weak spot and Mac had seen it. And it hadn’t been Louie. She drank the rest of her water and put down her fork and knife. His boxing and training was a side hobby. Wasteful. Then he mentioned business again. If he mentions the families again… I wonder if I stabbed myself I could get out of the conversation. He has nothing in life. No one and nothing. I don’t want that for me. Not ever.
Mac shook her head. Underboss? Seriously? She wanted to slap him and tell him to stop. “Yes, I do want out. This isn’t what I want for my future.” I don’t want to end up like you. Luke is probably laughing his balls off while sticking it to Charlie. Fucking Louie works for his grandfather. Jesus Christ what a fucking joke. She scratched at her earlobe and thought about her choices. She really needed to make better ones. Maybe she should flip a coin. It would probably work out better than her own decisions sometimes. He mentioned Brazil. “Never been… but I hear the water’s lovely there. Good parties too. I thought of going to their carnival when I was younger.. there was a few of us that thought of flying out but never happened.” She paused for a moment. “When she died, did she fight back? Take a piece of him with her?” She wanted to know that Amelia had at least gotten Luke even if a little bit.
“I’m sorry, let’s pay up and we’ll get your bike and you can be on your merry way,” he said.
He motioned for the check and knew she would pay. Even if it was basically him paying for it through her. But if it made her happy. But then she asked him something he had hoped she never would. He didn’t want to relive that night. In a way she fought back but not like she really could. Luke had the odds in his favor it was how he worked. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it. Luke would have been killed had it been a fair fight. Louie knew that because he had nearly been killed by her.
“Do you want the truth? I think you should wait and maybe ask me later,” he said and got up. “Luke is a coward and I’m sure that tells you enough. I’ll be in the car.”
As he left his confident stride became less. He got to the car and slumped. He turned it on and waited for her. He sat back up and waited for her to be situated. She would probably ask more questions. He didn’t want to think about it. He already saw too much and it kept replaying in his mind. Over and over, seeing her hand hit the ground. The blood pouring from the stump and then the gun shot that echoed in his brain. He sped past slower cars and cleared his throat.
“Had it been a fair fight she’d be here, I know that for a fact,” he said and it was all he said during the ride.
He parked the car next to her bike and waited to hear any of her last words. He had people to talk with and she had a new life to begin. Even if she had two months under him she would need to set stuff up now. He could heard his heart beat it was so silent. He brushed his sleeves and looked over to her. She could do so much and she was going soft. He felt his phone buzz, it was probably Clark but he waited for her to speak.
“Sure thing.” He motioned for the waitress to bring the check and Mac was already digging out her wallet. She had a number of bills in there. It was ironic that she’d worked for him only to pay for his damn meal but it had gotten him out of his own filth at least. He answered that she should ask him another time. She thought no. There wouldn’t be another time. She wouldn’t bring up Amelia again in his presence after this. The look in his eyes told her it wasn’t a good fight. It wasn’t even a fight. She sat as he ran away to the car while she waited for the check. She shook her head. He didn’t even lift a finger. You’re nothing like him. You’re willing to die for what you hold dear. She took a deep breath and paid along with a hefty tip. Simply cause she wasn’t into appearances didn’t mean she didn’t appreciate the people who put the food on her plate. They were the ones who could bring down empires. People in power forgot that too often.
She got in the car and didn’t say much. They drove and he mentioned it hadn’t been a fair fight. No shit. Really? That much I could assume. She nodded and swallowed. If you had stopped it from happening, then hey maybe she’d also be here. But that’s me thinking like a commoner. She put her hand to her lips and breathed. They parked next to her bike and she slung her bag over her shoulders. She heard the buzz and knew it was his phone. She met his eyes and nodded. “Two months. Then cash pick ups and dj work.” She stuck her hand out waiting for him to shake it. He did although she could tell he wasn’t happy. She put on her helmet and fastening it tight. Then she hopped on the bike and took off for Bristol.
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