Toni…
cherry valley forever
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@lucymcphee
Toni…
A journey.
enemies to friends to lovers is literally my favorite trope. i will never tire of seeing two characters go from hating each other, to tentatively feeling out a friendship, to slowly developing feelings for each other and then falling in love. it’s painfully cliché and i want to see it e v e r y w h e r e
My Nomadic Life: Alaska
To commemorate the end of my "Short Short Series" I introduce to you all - the three people that have stuck around - my "Long Long Series". Hurrah! Let us read about my life in a grandiose tone layered beneath self-deprecation concealed by sarcasm.
I kid.
I'm going to introduce a new segment entitled, "My Nomadic Life". I've been blessed with travel from an early age, and through this constant upheaval I've lived in extraordinary places that often remain atop people's Bucket Lists for a lifetime (introducing the grandiose early, as my third grade teacher taught me, rip off the band aid quickly otherwise it's more painful later).
I've been bouncing ideas back and forth about how to write this segment in a relatable, well, let's be real, interesting way. I quickly realized that through my many moves the one thing that remains is music. To preface, music has always dwelled in the memories I hold and the places I've lived. It is a chapter title introducing the next segment of my life.
This chapter is The Ludlows, and it introduces the three wonderful years I spent living in Anchorage, Alaska.
The film score by James Horner transports me to the mountains, beneath the hills and across from the land which holds the most powerful creatures. My bedroom is a window to nature, it's my looking glass into a world that very few get to experience, and those who do share a tangible connection that survives through each passing memory. It transports me to the blow-up mattress that nestles in the corner of the large room that is patiently waiting to be filled with furniture and mementos from the land I call home.
In the basement I curl up on the far sofa that I claimed as my own as the film which holds the music and the memories whirls inside my soul. It's responsible for the emotion Alaska evokes from me, the score unintentionally attaching itself to a place it has no connection to but exists so perfectly inside its lands like a home it was always destined for.
Above all, it's in the mountains. The drives across quiet highways beneath towering glaciers and mountain tops that appear endless across the vast oceans. The water, so pristine, conceals the porpoise that are free in a state which take pride in its land and oceanic creatures. Never forgetting that we came from both.
Alaska is a place that holds one song. A song which lives in the mountains and the home beneath the hills across from the creatures that rule the lands that I so proudly walked upon for a fleeting period of time.
Chris McCandless once said, “The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.” Chris McCandless died beneath the Alaskan mountains, escaping a life that wishes to tie your soul up in money and work, restraining you from a limitless journey the world has to offer. Chris McCandless and the book detailing his adventures "Into the Wild" both do exceptional jobs in exploring the isolated experiences Alaska has to offer. It is a rarity that when experienced you hold close to you forever. To die beneath the mountains living off a land so sacred and untouched is a thing to marvel at.
In honour of #womenshistorymonth I’m going to highlight a few of my favourite fictional female characters, starting with Carol Aird, “Carol” (2015). A well-written, layered character with visible flaws but an enviable temperament. In a time that was blinded to love she followed her heart with a breathtaking grace that we should all admire.
There’s always emphasis on the “love” when I’m sad. I “love” you. I often wonder if it’s to remind herself...to convince herself. I “love” you. I doubt but don’t don’t question. I’m scared to lose the emphasis.
I find it difficult to be empathetic, it’s one of the many traits that I’ve always disdained. When holding her though — her tears seeping through my white t-shirt, feeling no irritation as it’s sleeve becomes inhabited by makeup — I am empathetic. I feel her pain and her heartache. Her tears are my cure because they’re flakes of her soul.
Happy International Women’s Day!
Happy #InternationalWomansDay to all the fearless women of the world that are blazing trails and continuing to fight for their rights and values. Support each other and create together, we’re too powerful not to.
A Series of Shorts - Balance
She's right handed, but I don't mind,
we balance each other out.
With her hand she writes of truth and love,
she writes of me,
as my left hand writes of her.
Things left unsaid. . I lack a filter, I always have in situations that cause me conflict, but with her I shut up and shut down, hushed tones, slammed doors, and abandoned plans are what I leave behind. I know it’s unhealthy, but my subconscious revels in the upset caused by unsaid words and unfought wars. Some things just aren’t better left unsaid.
lesbian and their camera pattern..
Carol (2015) dir. Todd Haynes
Atomic Blonde (2017) dir. David leitch
Disobedience (2018) dir. Sebastián Lelio.
His words and candour are hypnotic.
A Series of Shorts - Her
I watch her brow furrow, the inside of her cheek bitten by pained teeth being shifted by unwanted molars. She looks up, making sure not to forget me while lost in her imagination, but with her I'm never forgotten
https://tinyletter.com/lucymcphee