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I use this blog as an escape from the world the same way I use writing and reading. Any content that discusses real world content will be tagged #politics and/or #us politics so that my followers have to option to cultivate their own safe spaces online.
"The America I loved still exists, if not in the White House or the Supreme Court or the Senate or the House of Representatives or the media. The America I love still exists at the front desks of our public libraries."
tbh a lot of my advice boils down to “hey you know that terrible horrible looming thing you’re doing your best to avoid and distract and escape as much as possible but no matter what you do it just keeps looming and looming and ruining your life”
Willing and Able: Apprentice to the Dark Lord Harry Excerpt
(Will be posted on AO3 eventually. I'm working on something big with this series so give me some time!)
It took Harry two weeks to recover from his magical exhaustion. He slept a lot. When he was awake, he did everything he could to care for the house and Tom. He went shopping for food, cleaned the kitchen, cleaned the bathroom, and slowly began piecing their lives back together.
Tom watched Harry perform his penance without offering any assistance. As far as he was concerned, Harry owed him for the week of hell he had gone through. Harry, to his credit, didn't complain about Tom's lack of help. Tom curled up with any book he wanted from Harry's collection, even the ones on dark magic. Harry's lips would tighten, but he said nothing.
In Harry's desperation to repair his relationship with Tom, he started putting the rest of the house in order. Up until then, he and Tom had spent all their time in their bedrooms, in the kitchen, or the study. The other rooms of the house were left to collect dust and wear down. Now, however, Harry was on a one man mission to bring the entire house back to its original glory, going so far as to put new sheets on the unused beds.
Tom watched. He hadn't really spoken to Harry since their initial conversation upon their return from Hogwarts. He watched Harry cook. He watched him clean. He watched Aureus stress about their change in relationship.
Tom did a lot of thinking during this time. He considered leaving Harry and petitioning Dumbledore to let him stay at Hogwarts a year early. He considered going to Diagon Alley. He thought about time travel and how it was even possible. He thought about his future self.
He stayed curled up in an armchair, book held open before him, but he didn't see the words. So lost in his own mind, he didn't notice when Harry walked in and sat down on the sofa.
"I got a letter from Dumbledore today," Harry announced. Tom jumped and stared at him with wide eyes. Harry didn't comment on it. "He was able to register you as a home schooled wizard, meaning you'll be able to buy your wand early, like you wanted."
The words hung over the two boys, a cautious peace offering.
"Can we go today?" Tom asked, trying not to sound excited.
"Sure," Harry said, sounding relieved.
Tom narrowed his eyes, taking in Harry's form. A question had been on his mind recently, one of many that kept him up at night. Now seemed as good a time as any to asked, when Harry was in such a pliant mood.
"You said my mother was a witch and my father wasn't," Tom stated.
"That's correct."
"Why would a witch marry a muggle? Wouldn't she rather marry someone with magic like herself?"
"Your mother had a difficult life at home," Harry started, slowly. "The people in her family with magic were not very kind to her, so she didn't consider it very important. When she fell in love with your father, she saw it as a way to escape her life."
"And he loved her?" Tom asked. "He wasn't afraid?"
A terrible expression passed over Harry's face, but he answered truthfully. "Your mother used a love potion on your father. When she stopped dosing him, he left her. That was when she was pregnant with you. Your mother died in childbirth, but your father is still alive."
Tom felt… strange. He hadn't known his father's fate. He'd always assumed his mother had gotten knocked up out of wedlock, but she had been married, even if it had been a sham wedding due to the potion. And his father…
"Did he know about me?"
"I think so. I think your mother thought if she was pregnant, he'd want to stay without the need of the potion."
"Oh."
"But you aren't your parents, Tom," Harry said, so earnestly. "You're better than both of them. You can be more than them. And I promise, you'll find a family for yourself, one that isn't made up of blood. I'll be your family, if you'll let me."
"Does family usually run away from each other at the first chance?" Tom replied, as cruelly and carelessly as he could.
Harry's face shattered under the weight of his regret. Tom closed his book and slid off the chair to the ground. It was hard to storm away in socked feet but he did his best.
After an hour of sitting on his bed and feeling an inferno of rage, Tom decided he wanted his wand. He put on his shoes and pulled a jumper on over his head before making his way back downstairs, finding Harry pouring over some papers at the kitchen table. It was oddly domestic, the way his hands braided through his hair, elbows propped up on the table.
"I'm ready to get my wand," Tom announced. Harry jumped out of his seat, hand pulling out his own wand.
"Tom! Merlin, you scared me." He put a hand on his chest as if to prove his point. "Yes, alright. Get your shoes on."
"They're already on. I told you I was ready."
"Right. Well give me a minute."
Tom waited at the door. When Harry finally arrived, he still looked harried, but at least he had shoes and a cloak on. They left the house, side by side. When they reached the street, Harry checked their surroundings and then put a hand on Tom's shoulder. He counted down, giving Tom time to prepare himself and then they snapped out of existence and reappeared again in front of the Leaky Cauldron.
Tom worked hard to keep any sense of joy or wonder from appearing on his face as they entered Diagon Alley and walked to Ollivander's. He didn't want Harry to know how excited he was, as unrational as it was. Harry already knew Tom wanted a wand more than anything.
They entered the dark, dusty shop and the noise of the street muffled with the door swinging shut.
"Hello there," a man greeted from behind the counter. He was older than Harry, but younger than Dumbledore, although Tom struggled to place exactly how old he was. "How can I assist you today?"
Harry clapped a hand on Tom's shoulder. "We're here for a wand."
"I see," the man, who must have been Mr. Ollivander, said. "And is your son old enough for a wand?"
Both Harry and Tom blanched. "He's not my son!" Harry quickly said. "He's my… younger brother."
Tom made a face, but Ollivander seemed to buy the story.
"Be that as it may, only eleven year olds may recieve a wand, Mr…?"
"Po— Evans," Harry said, stumbling over himself. "Harry Evans. And Tom is being homeschooled. We have permission from the Ministry for an early wand purchase." He showed Ollivander the paperwork Dumbledore had sent them.
"Ah, I see. Pardon me, we get many excited youngsters coming in, doing there best to get a wand. We'll get started right away. Let me take your measurements," he said to Tom.
Tom stepped forward and Ollivander approached with a measuring tape. Tom didn't know why the distance between his nostrils mattered, but he let the expert work. Eventually, Ollivander stepped away and the measuring tape continued alone. Harry took a seat by the window, watching with amusement.
for real tho it feels exhausting that ive seen this whole "woman should be allowed to abstain from X beauty standard" -> "i perform X beauty standard, am i evil? do you think im evil? please forgive me i came up with a dozen excuses 🥺" since like 2015 (and i know its been going on longer than that) like girl thats not the poiiiiint
look me in the eyes. repeat after me. "i face societal pressure to perform this beauty standard. i should not face that pressure. i conform to this standard. i am rewarded for performing to this standard. i need to respect women who do not perform this standard. this is not about whether or not i am a sinner for wearing makeup."
hey quick PSA but “reading before bed to wind down” only works if you’re normal about books btw. if you aren’t you are going to end up awake at 2:52am after finishing the whole book just trust me on this one
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