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California Bound || Connor & Lucy

March 28 - 30, 2012. Lucy heads off to California with Ella and Savannah to try and get away from Chicago for a while, only to be given a surprise visit from Connor who has followed her all the way out there to try and win her heart.

Connor: Connor wasn't sure exactly what he was thinking. Why he was there. The other Hydrangeas were held in his hand as he wheeled back and forth across the hall, unsure of whether or not he should knock on her door. He took in a deep breath, breathed it out in a big puff finally wheeled himself right up to the door and knocked almost urgently.

Lucy: Lucy pulled her hair up in to a pony tail, checking herself out in the mirror as she prepared to go to the beach. It wasn't exactly beach weather just yet, but she could hardly resist the temptation of going to a California beach while she was here. Just as she finished fixing her hair, she heard a knock at the door and she walked over with a small smile on her face to open it. When the door swung open however, and she saw who was there, her smile dropped away and her eyebrows knit together in confusion. "Connor? What - What are you doing here?"

Connor: He watched her smile fade from her face, which caused his brow to furrow in return. He held out the flowers to her and almost hesitated. "Uh...here..." he shoved them forward, waited for her to take them and started to wheel away feeling really stupid. "Fuck..." he sighed...What are you doing Connor what are you doing? He took a deep breath and wheeled his way over to the elevators pressing the button in a panic.

Lucy: Lucy looked down at the flowers that were shoved in her hands, still confused as to what was going on. She tried to shake the daze from her head when she saw that he wheeled away so quickly, and she put the flowers on the table by the door so that she could follow after him. “Wait, Connor… I didn’t mean to… Look, I’m sorry. For last night, for leading you on…” She sighed and looked up at the ceiling as if the answer to all her prayers would be written there, but it was just plain white tiling. Nothing there was going to help her. She paused before looking down at him, thinking it stupid to ask the question, but needing to know nonetheless. “Why did you come here…?”

Connor: He clenched his jaw. The same expression written on his face from the night prior. Pain, confusion. He didn't look at her, looked to the floor as the soft ding from the elevator sounded. He raised his brows and looked to the elevator as some people stumbled out and headed to their rooms. He finally looked over his shoulder at her, not sure what to say. She had asked him a question he couldn't answer. It was an impulse action. Selfish on his part. He thought that maybe if he could show that he would follow her anywhere, follow her there, maybe she would realize he would always do that. Always be there for her, no matter the pain or the cost. Here a crippled Connor sat, eyes full of such perplexity as he searched for the right words to say. "I came here for you." He said it, and his brow furrowed further, it came out slightly confident and then not so much. A twinge of confusion plastered in his tone.

Lucy: It was the answer she had been expecting, but it still managed to knock the breath from her. Closing her eyes, Lucy let her back fall gently against the wall, her hands making their way to cover her face as she thought of how to respond to that. She jumped up from the wall though when she heard the dinging of the elevator button being pushed by her back, a small blush and chuckle escaping her lips. Shaking her head, she looked down at Connor in an attempt to be serious but not even sure what emotions were going through her at the moment. “Connor…” What was she going to say afterwards? She’d already told him enough times that she was with Sam, but that didn’t seem to stop him. Biting her bottom lip, Lucy rolled her eyes and nodded in the direction of the room she’d just left, heading back in the direction of it and inviting him to follow. “Do you want to come inside?”

Connor: Connor wasn't exactly the romantic type. He had failed to show a whole lot of affection to Lily. On occasion, a bouquet of flowers here, possibly a mixed tape. And though they had some fun and cute times roaming around Chicago, memories that made him smile, he could revert the same mentality to Lucy. The memories they had, shared. When she came to town, getting to know her. Which made him smirk, while he watched her, lips pressed firmly together he couldn't help but smile a little as she was startled by the elevator. Finally his hand slipped into the pocket of his jacket. He furrowed his brow feeling the crinkled package. He pulled it out and chuckled. He'd saved his bag of pretzels for her. He laughed softly, looking down as he held up the bag and gave a nod to her question. "Sure..." He accepted her invitation, not truly expecting anything. He was just glad to be there, glad he did it. He handed the bag off to her with a sheepish grin.

Lucy: Lucy looked back at him as she heard crinkling that seemed out of place. Pretzels. He had brought her pretzels. He remembered that they were her favorite snack. Just like he had remembered her favorite flowers, her favorite movies, her favorite candy… Her eyebrows knit together once again as she felt confliction build up inside of her, but she allowed a smile to lighten her face a little and accepted the pretzels as he offered them to her. “Thanks, Connor.” She turned back around and headed through the door she had left open, pushing aside the beach bag she had prepared for herself so that there was room for him to wheel himself around and not get caught up on anything. “Was your flight okay…?”

Connor: He couldn't help but continue to smile as she took the pretzels. He wheeled himself into the open doorway and into the hotel room which was actually very nice. There were many things Connor remembered about Lucy. He was willing to show her all of that and more. Ready to be the guy he was meant to be, should have been from the get-go with his first current and real relationship. He knew he blew it. But...here he had somewhat of a new chance. Somewhat. He knew she was taken. He knew it was wrong but his selfish impulses consumed him, got the better of him. She made him feel alive, like he wasn't alone. He felt somewhat like a sick puppy dog following around his master, lost and confused, hurting. She brought the better out of him. She made his heart flutter, his whole body warm with...happiness. Something he hadn't felt in so very long. Especially considering recent events. He stopped in the little living room of the hotel and turned about in his chair nodding at her. "It was alright...slightly uncomfortable, slightly uncomfortable, being in the handicapped spot and all. But. Yeah it was nice...how was yours?"

Lucy: “I can imagine… Mine was nice. Of course Ella booked first class passenger tickets.” A playful smile accompanied a chuckle at the thought of Ella actually be placed in coach instead of first class. The day that happened would be the day that all hell broke loose. Walking in to the living room section, that had glass doors to the balcony on the side, Lucy opened the curtains that covered the full length windows that stood on either side of the doors to let the sunlight creep in. She pursed her lips once they were opened, and plopped herself down on the couch, shifting her position so that she could look at Connor. “Ella’s at a shoot right now, and Savannah went to check out some of the shops in the area. I was going to go check out the beach before you showed up…” She looked down at the bag of pretzels still in her hands before opening them up and popping one in her mouth before offering him one. “Want some?”

Connor: Connor chuckled. He raised his brows to her mention of first class. He wasn't about to brag. Malone’s always flew first class. He didn't even have to ask for it. It just happened. But he kept his mouth shut. He arched a brow amusedly at the notion of Ella ever being thrown into coach and couldn't help but laugh as he looked down then gazed back at her as she offered up the bag of pretzels. He scooted forward in the chair and came beside her taking up a couple of the salty snacks in his hand. "Can you imagine? Ella in coach?" He laughed as he popped the pretzels into his mouth and chewed, and swallowed. He looked out at the balcony and hummed. Something about the beach. He absolutely loved it. So peaceful. The way the waves crashed up against the shore creating its own soft whisper to the world. He could fall asleep to that sound, the advantage of being in California, if only for a night. He might be able to get a good night's sleep. "You could still go...to the beach." He looked over at her sympathetically wondering if he had ruined her plans completely. Secretly he hoped she would invite him, but he wouldn't push for it.

Lucy: Lucy nibbled on a few more pretzels before giggling along with him at the continued idea of Ella in coach. The bitching that she would do would probably be the most entertaining thing Lucy could ever witness. She loved the girl, but if anyone were to make such a terrible mistake, Lucy would run in the opposite direction to avoid the blow out. Shrugging, Lucy turned so that she sat straight on the couch, allowing her head to fall back and have her eyes close. “Hmm? Oh don’t worry about it. I don’t mind staying here. You came all this way after all… There will always be other days.” She bit her bottom lip but kept her eyes closed, half as a way of letting herself relax, as well as half a way of not having to look at Connor. It was just easier for her if she didn’t have to see him and the way that he looked at her. Because every time that she did, it broke her heart that she couldn’t do what he wanted her to. Couldn’t be what he wanted her to be. Because she was taken.

Connor: Connor paid close attention to her actions, watching while she got comfortable. For a moment they shared a laugh, but it quickly dissipated. He didn't want her to miss out on why she was there. No. Not because of him. Not because of what happened last night. He pursed his lips and sighed, clearing his throat he looked over at her and offered a soft smile. "Luce, you should go. We could go together if that is what you are really worried about. I don't want you to miss out on the sun, this is a beautiful day. Come on, let's get you to the beach." He raised his brows and gave a little nod.

Lucy: Lucy peeked one eye open and looked at him, letting her face scrunch of playfully before closing her eye again and looking away. She had wanted to go to the beach… So what if Connor came along? It wouldn’t be that big of a deal, right? Pursing her lips again, Lucy stood up from the couch and looked around the otherwise empty hotel room. What else would they do, anyway? Watch pay per view? Not when it was such a nice day, that would be a waste. Sighing, Lucy gave a short nod, adding on a smile and walking to the beach bag she had kicked aside earlier. “Alright, to the beach it is then. How… Exactly are we going to do that?” She asked, not sure how to have a wheelchair on the beach, or if there was some other way around it. Maybe they could go to the boardwalk instead and just watch the waves. That sounded just as nice since the water would most likely still be too cold to go in anyway.

Connor: Connor smiled at her, she was adorable, her scrunched up face, he chuckled and watched her demeanor change. He smiled and wheeled his way towards the door as she picked up her beach bag. "Meet me downstairs in the lobby?" He instructed as he opened the door, backed up, then wheeled out to head to his own room. He gathered up his special cane he'd been given from his physical therapist. He wasn't sure if he was exactly ready to use it, but he was going to give it a go. He slipped off from the wheelchair, took up the cane and got up onto his legs, hunching over slightly. He grunted and cringed as the pain shot up in his legs, while his body adjusted to it. Finally he headed out the door and down the hallway, into the elevators. When he came downstairs he attempted to offer up a big smile and limped forward. "Ready to go?"

Lucy: Lucy watched him leave, nodding as he told her what to do and where to meet up. Obviously he had it figured out so she would just go with it. She gathered up her beach bag and rode the elevator down to the lobby where he had told her to wait for him. She walked over to an arm chair and sat down, setting her bag to the side of it and just looking around at the grand hotel. It was always interesting looking at the way some hotels structured and designed their buildings, the way that some things seemed more welcoming than others, some things more grand. It was something she usually thought about since she had wanted to be an interior designer before she got all involved with the Malone’s and escorting. Looking away from a particular set of paintings that was meant to give the feel of an artsy atmosphere, Lucy saw Connor coming out of the elevators and stood up to meet him. He looked like he was in pain though covering it up as best he could, and she felt a wave of uncertainty hit her as she wondered if they should do this. But he seemed determined and she wasn’t going to crush his spirits any more than she already had. “Yeah, I’m ready. On to the beach!”

Connor: Connor offered a smile, holding back his cringing. He hummed and stepped out from the elevator and smiled at her. She looked great, always did. "On to the beach," He cracked a grin, looking her over but very nonchalantly. He rubbed his lips together and walked with his limp over to her, getting used to the cane and the way his legs felt slightly numb yet retained a bit of anguish. He followed after her stepping out into the sunlight, taking in the feeling of the rays as well as the soft blow from the wind. It felt great. The weather was much different there in California, something even more peaceful about it.

Lucy: Lucy sighed as soon as they left the hotel, relishing in the sunlight that shone down. It wasn’t really warm, but it still was a perfect day to go to the beach, especially since their time was so limited here. Just three days. Three days to try and see as much of this place as possible. Looking over to Connor she raised an eyebrow before stepping closer and wrapping the arm that wasn’t holding the cane around her shoulder so that she could try and take some of his weight off his legs. “It’s a good thing this hotel is right next to the beach, otherwise this would be a terrible walk.” She smiled and walked the short distance before they reached sand, the growing smell of salt water and sea air causing her to take a deep breath. “Do you want to lay out here?” She had stopped about midway, an even distance from the start of the beach to the water’s edge, and a place that didn’t have too many other people surrounding them. A perfect place to just relax on the beach, sun bathe, and talk.

Connor: Connor wanted to pull away from her. He wanted to be stubborn, he wanted to do this on his own, prove to her he was good for at least that. That he could walk, push himself to do it. He was like that at physical therapy. Constantly talking back, bickering, demanding the coach get her hands off of him, let him stretch his muscles himself. But the more he bickered he soon realized the harder he was making it to heal. He grimaced a little and finally succumbed to allowing her to help, his pride dropping. But yet, that seemed to happen a lot with her around. She could get away with a lot, including knocking his pride down a few notches, which was a rarity with Connor Malone. There had only been one other girl he would allow that from. She knew very well who she was, and it drove him nuts. Now there was little Miss Lucy Ward, turning his world upside down with that giggle. Oh her laugh, it was like a song. He leaned into her just a little, only to take some of the weight off of his leg and limped and strolled along as best he could, keeping up with her. He faked a light laugh for her from her comment then grunted a little, cringing a tad as a pain shot up his spine, only for a second. He gazed up at the sky as they stopped there, his eyes averting to the clear blues of the cerulean overcast, he squinted and smiled, closing his eyes for a moment to let the heat sink into his skin. He then glanced over at her and gave a nod of approval. "Here looks great, perfect." He smiled, that famous Connor Malone grin, dimples and all. Removing his arm from her shoulder he shrugged. "Um, thank you." He muttered, half-heartedly. He meant it, but at the same time, he was feeling a bit uneasy.

Lucy: Lucy smiled back at him, her own set of dimples coming out of hiding before she knelt down in the sand and set her bag in front of her. She pulled out two towels and laid them out next to each other. She wished she had thought to bring an umbrella so they could have some type of shade as well, but the sun wasn’t too bad so she would deal with it. Looking up at Connor, she raised her eyebrows and cocked her head to the side, noticing his uneasiness. “Everything alright?” She stood up from her kneeling position and rested her hands on her hips, hoping that she hadn’t done something to make him uncomfortable or something. Then again, this whole entire situation could be considered uncomfortable because of what had happened last night as well as all the other things that had been said in the days before it. But Lucy wouldn’t let bring that down what was going to be a fun day at the beach. No, she had come to California to have a good time, so a good time she would have. Taking off her shirt and tossing it in her bag so that she was in her bathing suit top and shorts, she pulled out some sunscreen and rubbed some of it on before offering it to Connor. “Best lather up. We don’t need you crippled and sunburnt.” A small laugh escaped her, letting him know that she was only teasing him. She also nodded to the towels she had laid out for them, gesturing for him to sit down so that he wouldn’t have to put any more strain on his legs. “Why don’t you sit and rest for a bit. Give your legs a break.”

Connor: Connor couldn't help but broaden his grin the instant he noticed Lucy's gorgeous smile reappear upon her perfect face. As she questioned him he took a deep breath, his smile only slightly fading as he gave a quick reassuring nod. "Everything's fine." He insisted, it was really. For the most part. He took up the sun screen being a bit caught off guard by her having fully stripped her shirt. God she really was gorgeous. He cleared his throat and looked away, preferring to be a gentleman and not fully take her beauty in, he took up the bottle from her hand and began to spread the lotion onto his arms and legs, barely being able to bend over really. When she laughed, it made him want to join in. When she smiled, he smiled. He looked over at her noticing her friendly gesture to take a seat and that he did. Setting the cane aside he slowly made his way into seating position, grunting a bit he plopped down almost landing on his back which sent a loud chuckle through his system as he laughed at himself. He glanced over at Lucy and made a face and shrugged as he adjusted himself and sat up the best he could. Taking in a deep breath, he gazed about, finally enabling himself to take in the sights around him. The glow of the turquoise ocean sparkled from the daylight, a perfect California day. Perfect, compared to the rainy ones most often found in Chicago. "It's really nice here." He nodded with a bright, sincerely happy smile.

Lucy: Lucy turned away as he took the sunscreen from her, kneeling down once again at her beach bag to shuffle through its contents. She couldn’t remember all the things she had packed, but she came across a pair of sunglasses that she put on happily and turned back in time to see Connor practically collapsing on his towel. She shook her head with a giggle and joined him on the other towel, laying down and turning on her side. She propped her head up in her one hand, the other picking up random handfuls of sand and allowing gravity to bring it back down to earth. “It is nice here, isn’t it? I’m glad Ella asked me to come. I don’t think I’d have ever come here otherwise.” She allowed the corner of her lips to tilt down as she thought about it, realizing that she never would have gone on her other vacation to Europe had she not been asked to go on that one either. She really needed to just go on a vacation because it was what she had wanted. But she was perfectly fine with this one too. Who wouldn’t be? Picking up another handful of sand, Lucy this time brought it to her mouth and gave it a quick blow so that it landed on Connor and his towel.

Connor: Connor watched her while she spoke, his eyes watching as her fingertips rambled through the sand, picking it up and letting it sink through the corners of her fingertips. He smiled softly listening to her intently. "Yeah, it's pretty great..." 'I would have never come had you not been here...' he kept to himself. He swallowed softly and brushed his lips together, a thought coming to mind. "Have you ever done anything just for yourself, Lucy? Not because someone...asked you to but because you wanted to? Sometimes it's okay to be selfish," He stated, simply matter of fact, with a soft shrug. Then as she blew the sand his way he flinched and laughed leering at her for a moment before he picked up a big wad of sand and ran it right across her leg. He chuckled softly before his eyes averted back upon hers, a boyish smirk upon his features.

Lucy: Lucy laughed and wigged her leg to get the sand that he had dropped on her off, scrunching her nose and playfully hitting his arm even though she had started it. Readjusting herself so that she now laid on her back, Lucy looked up at the sky, watching as the clouds floated by before them. She switched her view back to Connor and gave a small shrug before looking up at the sky again. “I… Don’t know actually. I feel like everything I do is to please someone else sometimes. I mean, I don’t do anything I don’t want to… But then again I guess I don’t really do anything that I do want to…” Lucy knit her eyebrows together, unsure if her answer made sense. She of course had her selfish moments though… Everyone did. She just couldn’t really think back to the last time that she really let herself think only of herself and no one else. But then people’s feelings would get hurt, and that wasn’t something she could live with. Of course, she had made a living of making sure people knew what a bitch she could be, but once that person came to be in her good graces, she wanted them to know that she would do anything for them. Her loyalties were practically law to her. It took a lot to gain her trust, but took even more to lose it. Maybe she was naïve in that way, and too open to being hurt, but that was what her walls were for. To block out the pain of any such occurrences.

Connor: He laughed louder as she hit is arm, smirking he canted his head watching while she adjusted, he himself getting more comfortable. Connor raised his brows at her statement. He hummed and gave a nod of comprehension, his hands rested at his sides, but one drifted over, tucking a piece of her blonde locks behind her ear as it fluttered in the wind. "That's no way to live..." He said very softly. To him, it really wasn't. Here he was, afraid of no true consequences, heart on his sleeve, you could read it within his eyes, the way he stared at her. She felt comfortable, and it felt great being around her. She was perky, and happy, and so snarky, and she could be just as much as an ass as he. Which made it all the more intriguing. "Sometimes putting yourself first isn't such a bad thing, as horrible as it sounds." He concluded licking his lips before swallowing the pit in his throat.

Lucy: “I guess not… But I don’t know if I can live any other way.” Lucy took her sunglasses off and looked over at him, absently playing with the glasses in her hand as she stared back at him, trying not to let the blush show on her face as he moved a piece of her hair. She admired the way that he could be so open sometimes, showing the world who he was and not caring what people thought of him. He was courageous, something Lucy could only pretend to be. Something that she fought to be, but couldn’t ever actually be in the same way that he was. She finally looked away from him, bringing her sunglasses back to her eyes to cover them and let out a small sigh. “I know… But I tend to overthink things. I always look ahead and think of what the following actions may be. The consequences. The people I may hurt because of what I do. It can just be too much sometimes….”

Connor: Connor smirked and grunted at her statement. "You misunderstood." He glanced away for a moment then looked back at her. "You don't have to be anyone other than yourself, Lucy. I wouldn't change you for the world, I only mean, that sometimes it is good to live on the edge, to be free to do...something for yourself." He explained. Of course for him, this meant coming there for her, having shown up instead of chickening out and not having gone. He would have really regretted that. Especially now having known how things turned out. She hadn't asked him to leave, hadn't sent him flying back to Chicago. Instead there they were, spending time together on the beach. "Sometimes over thinking can be the death of a good, well spent life. Sometimes you have to be free." He softly lifted his hand again, thumbing the back of her head softly he pulled gently at the hair band releasing her ponytail and smiled. "Let your hair down every once in a while." He mused, pursing his lips playfully. He ruffled her hair and laughed. "You look great, by the way." He added.

Lucy: Lucy pursed her lips as he spoke, trying to think of what it might actually be like to live that way. It sounded an awful lot like how she acted when she was drunk, but she doubted that was what he meant. It was something that should be done sober, with a clear head and true intentions, not something that is done with a hazy mind and through a drunken stupor. It was something she would have to work on, because she knew he was right. What was the point of living if you didn’t take chances every now and then? It would just be boring, barely worth even doing. She felt his hand at the back of her head, releasing her hair from the pony tail she had put it in. She fixed one side of her hair behind her ear after he ruffled it and rolled her eyes playfully. “Thanks… You do too. I’m glad you came down to the beach even though I’m sure getting here hurt like hell…” She rolled over on to her side again and placed both hands under her head, looking over at him behind her shaded glasses. She actually was glad that Connor had come here, even though he shouldn’t have, because she genuinely did like hanging out with him. It was just the whole other mess that made it so complicated…

Connor: He watched her and could not help but smile as she adjusted herself. He thought about what it would be like to take hold of her hand, cup it within his, take the time to caress her fingertips, kiss them even. Show her the kind of affection he felt she deserved. Instead he opted to get comfortable, smoothing himself out on his side he stretched his legs and cringed a little. They were still very sore and swollen but his physical therapist had told him to try and stay active as much as he could. So he was going to try and make the best of it, even if he did hurt physically. Mentally, as long as he was with her, that was all that mattered. He smirked at her compliment and fake-flipped his hair like a girl, rolling his eyes. "Oh why thank you," He teased, laughing actually quite joyfully. Instinctively his hand somehow ended up along her arm, tracing off a few specks of sand that had managed to land upon her skin. He pulled his fingertips back and pushed his lips together.

Lucy: Lucy looked down at his legs as he stretched them, noticing the small grimace as he did so. It actually pained her to see him so hurt still, and toughing it out just because of her. She wanted to comment, but she kept it to herself, instead looking back up at him as he teased her and pretended to flip his hair back in a terrible impersonation of a girl. “I hope you know that I don’t act like that Mr. Malone.” She smiled and brought her sunglasses away from her eyes again, only to bury her in the crook of her one arm. She felt his hand on her arm, but she didn’t move, didn’t look up at him. Another shiver went down her spine, even though the weather was quite comfortable and the sun was beating down on them perfectly fine. It was like last night, the way that he touched her so gently. As if she was the injured one, the fragile one that could be broken if handled to roughly. She peeked back at him with one eye, the other still concealed in the crook of her arm. She was sure that she should say something, tell him that he shouldn’t touch her like that. But she didn’t want to. She was going to be selfish, even if just for this short time. And as terrible as she was sure she would feel about it later, she didn’t care in this very moment. Instead, when his fingertips were pulled back, she found her own hand gently making its way through the distance between them and resting on the side of his face in a soft caress.

Connor: He laughed at her response, still unable to stop smiling. She was contagious, like a sickness deep within the pit of his veins that just wouldn't dissipate, wouldn't go away. If this was an illness, he never wanted to get better. He swallowed softly as she grew silent, his lips pressed together before her rubbed them together and took in a deep breath watching, examining her movements. He grinned once again as he melodramatically hid her face. As she gazed back at him, he winked and chuckled. As she had shivered against his touch he had taken notice, her movement, not hesitation. That was generally a good sign. He wondered if her heart fluttered the way his did. He swallowed again, watching her expression change, her gaze turn to him as her hand gingerly found its way to his cheek. He hummed, closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them with a light grin plastered on his cheeks. Then, it slowly dissipated. His eyes fluttered from hers to her lips and back to her gaze. He knew it would be stepping over one too many boundaries...but he had to--had to know. He found himself softly lean into her, and his lips met hers gently, very gently, yet with so much care and affection behind it as he kissed her.

Lucy: How could she not have known this was what it was going to lead to? What happened was her own fault, and she should have stopped while she was ahead. As he came closer to her, she knew what was coming but simply laid there, allowing her eyes to fall shut in anticipation. His lips came to hers and were almost like a ghost, barely brushing up against each other, and yet still very obviously there. It felt like any and all air that attempted to make its way to her lungs got caught in her throat, and she felt the pit of her stomach blaze as if it were suddenly on fire. And all she could do, was lay there as he kissed her. The hand that had been resting on his cheek remained in place, her thumb being of its own mind gently rubbing at his cheek before she let it fall away to her side. She half wanted to kiss him back, deepen the kiss and wrap one of her arms around his neck with the other pressed to his back, but she couldn’t do that. She knew both mentally and physically that this was wrong. Finally her body was able to wake up from whatever stupor it had been put in, and Lucy turned her face away from, squeezing her eyes tightly shut to prevent the tears that had begun to form behind her lids. “Connor…”

Connor: She didn’t give in, not the way he had hoped in his mind. All this time, for all he had done, he had wished for absolutely nothing in return, but perhaps her affection. He had only hoped, that maybe, just maybe she felt the same. And like a fool he had fallen in, heart first. Her lips were sweet and yet salty from the memory of the pretzels he’d brought to her. He furrowed his brow in the kiss, it was tender, with so much emotion behind it, nothing sloppy, no tongue. Just tender, lips upon lips, skin upon skin. As her face turned, his heart fell to the pit of his stomach than rose again in his throat. She said his name, but it was clearly in reluctance and he pulled back from her, removing his entire being from her side, hands, body, body weight, he even turned to look away from her. He sniffed back the tears he so desired to cry, no. He was a man. A fucking Malone…hell part Rosario. They didn’t cry in front of women. No. The last time he had was at the sight of a poor crippled Lily lying on his kitchen floor…He cringed, attempting to suppress that memory as well as how he felt right now. He could have been beaten, tortured again for how he felt in that moment. He pursed his lips and gazed back at her, his jaw clenched, his eyes pained with wetness but he wouldn’t let a single tear fall…no. He couldn’t. He sniffed back and sat up, his whole entire body cringing. He grunted through the angst and attempted to partially stand, his hands on either side of him.

“You know. He treats you like dirt Lucy. And you take it. Oh no I—I’ve seen it and I’m not the only one. You may think it is an equal battle but no one deserves to be treated that way, not even you. I have done more for you in a few days than he has ever done for you in a month’s time. Never have I asked or wanted anything…ANYTHING in return but your affection. And not from pity…” The pity came out in a deepened scowl, his nose scrunching almost in disgust. “Lucy I—I tried being discreet, tried only being the good guy because I never wanted you to cheat on him. I didn’t.” He raised his brows in assertion before he pursed his lips again and looked away searching for the proper words to say. He looked down at his hands, brow knitting tightly together as he continued to battle the tears. “I woke up to feeling…numb. Confused. Uncertain of who I was. But every time you came around, offered…to be there…I suddenly did not feel so numb anymore.” His voice trailed off, the words coming out much more soft now. “I didn’t feel alone, even if I wasn’t alone to begin with. I felt like some part of me was…put back in place that had been missing.” He bat his eyes and looked back at her, a single tear finally making its way down his cheek. “You know I—I thought that…being selfish and pushing forward for what I wanted would be a good thing. But clearly I was mistaken. Clearly I was the one who was wrong in all of this. Did I do something wrong? Did I—I misread the signs the signals? Because you seemed pretty sure of yourself the other night, Luce. The night that led me to follow you, to COME after you! Where is Uncle Sam huh?! I don’t see him crashing this…being here for you, putting you to bed when you get terribly drunk and making sure you stay out of trouble. Feeding you soup and toast to soak up the alcohol…making sure you have ice water and a bucket at your bedside in case you feel sick…” Once again his voice trailed off. He knew he sounded selfish as if all he had done has been to merit an award but in all honesty he had done it for her, so maybe, just maybe she could see how much he really did care for her. Greg had always taught him one thing when it came to love, not to necessarily wear your heart on your sleeve, though Connor had failed and done just that with Lucy, but to at least make it known how much you really did care for the ones you loved or held dear. Lucy fell into that category, she had for a long time, at least the aspect of caring, family. Especially since she was one of Lily’s closest friends.

“You may think that I did all that for myself. It’s plain and simple, Luce. I did it…for you.” With the ‘for you’ his brows raised, he looked to her sternly, confidently, then he pushed himself to his feet with a loud screech from his lips and a grunt. The pain searing up his spine and down his healing limbs. He snatched up his cane and shook his head, the tears pouring from his face at this point, mostly from the pain both physically, mentally and in his heart. “I would have done anything for you…I still would.” He grunted as he tried so hard to pull away as quickly as he could, limping, but his sight became the worst of him. His hand swept across his eyes willing away the tears as he sniffed and choked a bit and grunted, the pain within his legs evidentially much more than he could handle. So there he stood, pressed up against the side of a palm tree, only feet away from where he had been sitting, surrendering to his body and his heart.

Lucy: The absence of his body so close to hers, the lips that had just been on hers, the heat that she had felt between them dissipate, took a moment to get used to. She couldn’t bear to look at him, instead remaining in her lying down position, her eyes tightly shut and her face turned away. She wanted to tune out whatever words he was going to say because they were ones she knew she didn’t want to hear. But like during the kiss, her body wasn’t reacting the way that she wanted it to, instead becoming nothing but a limp form on a beach. All her energy was going to her head, where her thoughts were whizzing by every second, every millisecond. And it was making her hearing the clearest it had ever been. His every word was so pristine, and each individual word felt like a tiny pin prick to her heart over and over again. She wanted to curl up in to a little ball, let the tears that were threatening to spill go loose, and forget about… Everything. But her body was turning towards Connor, her eyes slowly opening with tears retracting, and her torso lifting off of the ground in to a sitting position. Her eyebrows knit together as what felt like blow after blow hit against her heart. She knew how much Connor liked her, and how much he had done for her. She was so grateful to him for it all. Had it not been for him, she probably would’ve ended up doing something stupid that she would’ve regretted. Instead he was there for her, the whole entire time, not a complaint in sight, and only concern and care evident on his face. It wasn’t fair for him to be like this. Not now. Not after everything that had already happened. She was with Sam. And she would keep reminding herself that until she was red in the face, or it was no longer true.Even though Lucy had turned to face Connor and hear out everything that he had to say, her eyes didn’t take in any of what was before her. Instead it was like there was a blurry film over her eyes, and no clear form was able to be seen. When his voice cut off was when that film seemed to be removed and Lucy realized that Connor had begun to walk away, from her. She hesitated, wanting to pursue but rooted to her spot. She turned away from his image against the palm tree and finally let the tears escape from her eyes as they had wanted to earlier. She tucked her knees up, resting her head against them and let the salty water trickle down her cheek to her chin and drip down in to her lap. She didn’t want to hurt Connor. He honestly meant a lot to her. And even though she continued to deny it to herself, she knew that there was something else too. He was something that was completely new to her, a specimen that didn’t seem to be real, and yet there was the evidence in front of her.

After a couple seconds of allowing her body to release the tension of built up tears, Lucy got off of her towel and rolled up both of them, tossing them in her bag carelessly along with her sunglasses. She took a deep breath, placing the bag on her shoulder before she forced some type of confidence to begin flowing through her veins. She could do this. It was going to be difficult as hell, but she could do it. Slowly she journeyed over the short distance Connor had made it and stood in front of him, trying to look him in the eye without wanting to burst out in to tears once again. No words came to her mouth, but that was okay. Now that she had control over her body once again, actions were all that she needed to do. She didn’t know if he would accept or reject them, but she had to try nonetheless. She slowly wrapped her arms around him and squeezed him with all the strength she could muster. It was a hug that was meant to say “I’m sorry for what I did. I’m sorry for what I didn’t do. I’m sorry for not being able to be what you want me to be. And mostly I’m just sorry that I’m hurting you.” When she pulled back, she cupped his face in her hands and brought her lips to his forehead in a simple kiss before readjusting herself so that she was next to him, and his arm was over her shoulder so that she could be his support as she had been before. “Let’s go back to the hotel…”

Connor: Connor stood there, not once taking a second glance at her, the tears that welled up in his eyes had now sputtered to the ground, puddling in the sand below him, partially from the pain of his stance, partially from how his heart ached. Before she had even attempted to make her way over to him his mind was whirring, whizzing around from one memory to the next. He had known Lucy for a very long time. And in that time he had also grown to know some other girls. Other people in his life. Including Lily. Lil's friendship had become something of a safe keeping to him. It meant that even though he had hurt her so badly, the fact that she was willing to stick around, she cared. Even if she had to do what she had to do with Sylvester, he got it. He saw it happening to himself then and there. If someone threatened the very life out of Lucy, the very life out of Avie, the very life out of Adrianna, the very life out of his mother...whilst also threatening his own, his choices would have been just as muddled if not worse. He could not comprehend how others failed to see that detail. Connor's mutilation, his limp, was not her fault. It was Jackson's. It was Sylvester's. A grimace scowled upon his face as he came to that conclusion yet again. His own uncle, his own cousin. The Irony was disgusting. He clenched his jaw and swallowed hard, huffing through his nostrils as he attempted to push those thoughts, those memories aside and focus on one in particular. It was the night before he went off to California. Tuesday. Before he had chosen to run after Lucy. He remembered calling Lily, unsure of why to say, but they had a pretty good heart-felt discussion and in that he had given her some pretty specific advice:

"It's cliché but think about it," She said. "Who do you want by you when all of your dreams come true? Once upon a time, we both thought that was me, right? But think about it Connor...we were never really meant to be. We were a fairy tale. And though it was great, for the most part, up until you jumped ship, we never really worked out because I don't think we were ever meant to. I'm happy now. And you deserve your happiness. So if Lucy is that happiness than you need to fight for her. Throw caution to the wind. And fight. Look at where I'm at right now. A fucking Rosario loyalist? Who would have thought. Love...makes you do crazy things. Things you never thought in a million years you thought you would see yourself doing. So, you go to California and you fight for her. But if she says no--Connor. If she turns you down. Come home, pride still intact, at least knowing that you tried and gave it your best shot."

Those words pierced his senses, his very being and he was brought back to the reality of the situation when Lucy placed her hands upon his cheeks and kissed his forehead. He barely so much as flinched, hardly accepting her lips upon his skin. He was pretty certain his expression was none-too pleasant, cold, distant. As she spoke, he grew numb to her. Numb to ever sensation, her touch, the way his legs throbbed, the way his heart ached. He choked back the tears and quickly wiped them away from his face. He didn't want to hear it. He was far too bitter. His energy low, his ego even further beneath him, his pride getting the best of him. What little left of it, he had. "You're sorry?" He bitterly stated, his teeth gritting. He sounded far more angry than he wanted to, but it came out, and it was there in front of her and he couldn't take it back. So instead he closed his eyes, looked down to the ground then back up at her. "Bullshit..." He sighed. Without a second thought he dropped the cane to the ground, both his hands cupping her cheeks, her pulled her in to a not so subtle kiss. This time he threw all his passion into it. It was not only loving but slightly more hungry. It was gentle, kind, with all the passion he could possibly muster in his state. As he pulled away from it he stared her straight in the eyes, the cerulean texture to his pupils returning from the hazy saddened gray they'd become. He used his thumbs to push away the tears that flooded from her eyes and very softly spoke to her, yet with a stern undertone. "Lucy you are without a doubt the most complex woman I have ever met. Fuck. You are worse than Lily and she knew how to drive me insane...I--I fought for you. So now maybe it is your turn to fight for me. You say you do not want to hurt me, don't want me to...not be a part of your life. That's great, and I appreciate it, but you pretty much have already scarred me. Damage done. And sure, eventually I'll be able to take it. But let me make this clear to you. I won't go back in that hotel. I can't. You--want me to let go of you? Fine. I'll let go. It was easy for you to do, right? So fine. But. I won't go back with you. No. That's not how it works. You better be sure as Hell that that is really what you want Lucille Andrea Ward because if we go our separate ways...I won't look back. I can't. You understand? Because if I leave right now, I won't look back. I can't. And you can't ask me to do that. So if your answer is really him...then so be it." He paused, his eyes searing right into her own before he leaned back in pressing a soft peck to her lips. "At the end of the day, you are the one I want standing next to me when my dreams come true Lucy...I love you." Those three little words were so subtle. So soft, and yet he said them. Yes Connor Malone had known Lucy Ward for quite some time. Even before the God-forsaken war had secreted into their lives. Far before his brother met his demise. He had grown to know her so very well then. And he had grown to know her even more as of lately. Though it may seem as though he had sprung that statement onto her like a Spring Rose coming forth in bloom, he meant it.

"And honestly. I would still be there for you. As I said earlier. I would have done anything for you, I still would. I'll still be here. I'll still be around, but I--would have to close off my heart as much as that would hurt. I would have to. Because I couldn't look at you with him...I couldn't bear it Lucy so don't make me." He wanted to scream at her, beg her. Would Sam truly feel the same way, treat her the same way? Would his eyes have told a story of a young man, broken and wounded only to have been put back together by this beautiful blond before him? No. They wouldn't, they would speak words of jealousy and how he didn't like the fact that she could possibly be interested in anyone else. She was a possession to him (Sam). At least in Connor's eyes. And he didn't like it. She was so much more than that. "You are--so much more than you...even realize, Lucy." He whispered, his voice breaking, cracking. For the first time he stood fully broken, vulnerable before her. A mess. There were very few people Connor would cry in front of, the list of women was even smaller. "I fought for you...won't you fight for me...?" He whispered once more closing his eye as he knelt his head down unable to look at her any further as the tears clouded his eyes.

Lucy: His reaction threw her off, at first rejecting the hug she had attempted to give him as well as the kiss to his forehead. He appeared to really want nothing to do with her, and when he spoke so bitingly, she felt herself jump a little since it had been so unexpected. Her eyes widened in fear that he was truly pissed off at her, something she didn’t want, but then he spoke the next word rather resignedly. And before she knew what was happening, his cane had been tossed to the side and her face had been grabbed up in his hands. Her body was finally in hyper drive, every muscle in her was finally under her control but she didn’t move. This time she didn’t want to. His lips met hers for the second time that day and she found herself actually kissing back. She hardly had time to do anything else with herself since it seemed to be over as quickly as it had started, and her mind was left somewhat with a fuzzy feeling, a light headedness as if she had stood up too quickly from lying down for so long.

As she stared up in to his eyes, the ones that stared right back at her, she couldn’t help but feel her breath catching in her chest and coming out jaggedly, her heart beating irregularly and making her feel like she was the one that needed the support to stand. He wiped away the tears she hadn’t even realized she’d been crying, grateful that he once again could be there for her. She listened to what he had to say, feeling a pang in her chest when he said that she had scarred him. That he was now damaged. That’s not what she wanted at all. She just wanted him to be happy, because he deserved it. Especially what with all the other bullshit that was going on in his life at the moment. And now she felt like she was just becoming another burden to his ever growing worries and concerns. If she chose him, he would be a happy man, something she longed to see again, but who knew how long that would last? Lucy had a tendency of having a short temper, and a loud mouth. Would she end up actually making him miserable by being there for him? It certainly seemed likely. But then if she chose Sam, he would be left broken anyway. Nothing seemed to want to play out right. It was impossible. There was no such thing as an all-around happy ending. Not for her, not for Connor, and not for Sam.

What would she do if she honestly lost Connor for good? Would it break her like it would break him? The ache in her heart at just the thought of it made her think it was possible, but the idea of losing Sam completely seemed to have the same effect. How had it happened that two men went after her and she couldn’t help but see the good in both of them? She could see the way that they would help her, and she could help them in return. It just seemed like a cruel twist of fate. The world was mocking her and forcing her to end up being the one to break her own heart. When she felt his lips on hers again for the briefest of seconds, she knit her eyebrows together and felt herself pout up at him until she heard the words that followed after.

I love you. I love you. He had said I love you to her. They were words she had heard from her friends and her remaining family plenty of times. Hell, she had even tossed it around back when she was 16 and in her last serious relationship. But she was so naïve back then, so unsure of the meaning. She was still unsure of the meaning, and the phrase made her flinch a little. What was love anyway? Was it really even something that could go beyond being platonic? Romantic love seemed to dominate the world, and yet Lucy still had the toughest time in even believing in its possible existence. The idea had slowly started to begin reforming in her head, but there was still that air of uncertainty. How did you even know when you truly, honestly, and whole heartedly loved a person? Connor didn’t seem to have any trouble in expressing it. And he didn’t have any hesitance in letting the words roll off his tongue. The fact that it came so easily to him had Lucy baffled to the point that she had missed much of what he said afterwards. Did it really even matter anymore? He had just said the one thing that Lucy longed to hear most in the world and feel something towards when it was said. So the question now was whether or not she actually felt something. Did she? How coucould she be sure?

Her mind cleared just as his last words escaped from his mouth and he looked away from her finally. He looked so sad, so heartbroken at what she had done, and failed to do. This time her actions were planned out, her intentions very clear in her head. She gently raised her hand to his chin, forcing him to look back up at her and look her in the eyes. Her eyes were still somewhat watery, but the tiniest of smiles were able to make it on to her mouth. And ever so slowly, she leaned forward and placed her mouth on his once again. The hand that didn’t already have his chin went to the back of his neck and she let her fingertips brush ever so lightly over the skin that was at the base of his hair. She could feel that earlier fire in her stomach flame up again and her heart flutter erratically. Next thing she knew however, her phone in her shorts pocket buzzed and Lucy was forced to pull away to look at the text she had just received. It was from Sam. He was in the hospital.

Connor: The tears had a mind of their own, streaming down his face as he begged this girl to love him. To fight for him. This was not like Connor at all. He had always been such a womanizer. But then he found he could commit, and fucked that up. Then came this amazing chance, to make things right. To look back on his past, get to know the girl he had always seen as the adorable blonde. Her laugh, her smile, her everything was contagious. The fact of the matter was, she had kissed him back this time around. And he was completely enamored, gone. Inebriated in the wine of her presence.

As she lifted his chin, he swallowed hard, controlled by her motions, unable to look anywhere but her eyes. That smile, it calmed his senses that was for certain, then as her lips met his, his brow furrowed, eyes still open but only for a moment as he kissed her right back, there was no hesitation whatsoever. He wrapped his arms softly around her waist. He wanted to lift her up off the ground, twirl her around, pull her to him. His heart lifted, fluttered. He gasped and sighed kissing her so very hungrily, raptured in her sweet, soft lips, the way she smelt. The way she folded and fit into his arms. She was perfect and didn't realize it.

If only he could tell her all he wanted to. Tell her that even with how angry she would ever get, with how stubborn she was, he could handle it. He would handle it, like a gentleman. Before she even got a chance to look at the text his lips spoke with a mind of their own. "I love you, Lucy." He'd whispered just as she pulled away. His brow furrowed in more of a worried anticipation as he studied her changed expression after having checked her phone. He knew something was wrong, but did he want to hear it?

"Luce? What is it?" He took hold of her hand softly, his thumb gingerly rubbing the back ever so gently, caring, lovingly. He pulled her to him and kissed her forehead. "Hey, talk to me." He encouraged with a light smile, even if his eyes were still a bit watery from previous tears.

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