She didn’t MEAN to cause him pain. She didn’t know and… he couldn’t find strength to blame her, even if his mood could barely be described as positive. He was more enduring and patient than he appeared to be. Moreover, he was determined to learn of the primary REASON of her arrival. From the moment he saw her it quickly became apparent that she was aware of his terrible fate. But what she was going to do about it?
Ciel was alarmed and pretty confused with her actions. The woman in front of him was the epitome of benevolence and light, she was so ethereal that he was inclined to doubt her evil ways. But even while having such perfect picture at arm’s length — he couldn’t believe his eyes. His heart was insistently reiterating: “nothing is what it seems”, forcing him to seek for any smallest token of something diabolic within her luminescent frame. In vain. He couldn’t discover her deceit and it vexed him.
She revealed within a second.
I WANT TO SAVE YOU, SO THAT YOU CAN LIVE.
Needless to say she just added fuel to his fire. Is it how she was mocking him now after everything he’s been through? Whoever she was, she took too many liberties. His fingers curled into firm fists, he had enough of this nonsense already.
But then it hit him. Her words pierced a knife in his heart. She… was there? At the ritual? She saw what THEY wanted to do to him? Awful scenes flashed before his eyes and he trembled both from rage and fear. It was silent in the room, yet he could hear all the voices around him chanting indecipherable spell. His blood ran out of color as he experienced the severe death-agony again. His mind overflowing with hallucinations. He was about to call out for Sebastian, but he lost his voice…
To him it seemed like it took him eternity to wake from a stupor. He found himself sitting on the floor, it was dark and his back was pressed against the foot of the bed.
There was someone else except Sebastian that night?
❝ It can’t be..,❞ he breathed staring into nowhere. His body ached as if he was tortured for hours. Her words dinned in his head. It was unbearable.
I HOPED YOUR LIFE WOULD END SWIFTLY
TO END YOUR SUFFERING …
❝ You were ANOTHER vulture over my head.
You were there to see my death… ❞
His voice faded to a soft husky whisper.
❝ DON’T COME CLOSER. There is NOTHING you can ‘save’. ❞
he looked at her, in disbelief. he was doubting her, she could tell. he held a look in his eyes that wanted her to be a fragment of his imagination. her brows knit together from this. was he scared of her? she didn’t blame him. he had endured so much, but knowing demons existed, surely he knew that her kind existed as well? she had feared that he would react this way, but she had to approach him, she had to try and reach out to him.
she had to make him know that she was there, that she existed. but he soon yelled out at her, telling her to shut up. her heart dropped, his anguish was becoming clearer by the second. she knew she should have came sooner, hell, she should have been there that day. she should have reached out to him. it should have been HER hand that he grabbed that day, not his.
his eyes filled with agony, like those remembering memories of pain and misery. she didn’t want this. she didn’t wish to cause him pain, but she had to repent for her sins. even if they weren’t considered sins to her kin. they told her not to help, that her kind were not allowed to interfere. “please...please understand that i wanted to save you. the others, they forbid me. we aren’t suppose to interfere with the lives of humans.” she tried to explain to him, pain in her voice as she wanted him to believe her and trust her.
he was filled with so much fear, something she never wanted to cause. he wasn’t wrong, she had watched over him that night like a vulture. however, she wasn’t there to feast on his soul. not like the darkness that now was trying to consume him. “listen, please listen to me. i can save you.” she tried to tell him as she shook her head. she wanted him to believe that he wasn’t fully doomed. that he didn’t have to accept the cruel fate that he thought he was stuck with. “it is my sin...my sin for not saving you that night. i had never felt a pain so strong. my people are suppose to be guardians. but what did we do...nothing. i begged them to let me.”
her head hung down, locks of hair falling forward over her shoulders as she gripped her dress tightly. she didn’t blame him for hating her, she deserved his hate. “i know you hate me, you have every right too. i didn’t save you then. but i can save you now!” she told him desperately. there wasn’t going to be much time left before he would come. the boy might even call out for him and she had to prevent that. if only she could convince him that he’d be safe.
“i can’t watch this time...as the darkness swallows your heart. i want you to live. please don’t give up...please live.” she begs him softly as her blue hues look at him. she wants to approach him, but refrains from doing so from the fear he holds. serenity knew she might fail, but she had to try. even if he wouldn’t come with her, at least he would know that it wasn’t hopeless. that there could be a way for him to escape this hell.
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