They Drive Me To Drink: Pharmacy Follies
-Seriously, folks, I don’t make up the prices. I have no control over the prices. At best, I can bill a discount card to try and save you money. HOWEVER, if you pull this shit…..
Me: “Ok, with this discount card, it bought it down from $75 to $20.”
Asshole: “I can get it at another pharmacy for $4.”
Don’t act all shocked when I hand you back your prescription and say….
Me: “Here’s your script back. They’ll be there whenever you get there so you can get your $4 prescription.”
I don’t have time for bullshit. If you know for a fact that you can get it cheaper somewhere else then why the fuck did you come here in the first place? That makes no fucking sense to *me* because I tend to use logic. If I know that I can get my dogs food on Chewy.com for $20 less and have that shit delivered to my front door within 2 days, I don’t go to Pet Supplies Plus, drop a bag of dog food on the counter and inform them that I can get it cheaper at Chewy.com because only an asshole would do such fuckery. So stop being an asshole, go get your shit filled for $4 and stop wasting my fucking time! And if you decide to get your shit filled here after all, then why are you running your cock holster in the first place?!
-I’m also getting really tired of this shit….
Fuck Face: “I’m here to pick up my prescription.”
Me: “It’s not ready yet. Did you want to come in and wait 20 minutes or did you want to come back later?”
FF: “What do you mean, it’s not ready? My doctor sent it over!”
Me: “He sent it over 15 minutes ago.”
FF: “He told me it would be ready by the time I got here.”
Me: “Your doctor isn’t the boss of this pharmacy. He has no control over our wait times. You were misinformed. Like, I said, it’s not ready. So do you want to come in and wait or do you want to come back later?”
FF: “I didn’t want to wait which is why he sent it over so it would be ready by the time I got here!”
Me: “Ok, let’s try this again. Your doctor does not run this pharmacy. He doesn’t have any say in our wait times. Not to mention that he’s not the only doctor to send in prescriptions. We fill over 500 prescriptions on a busy day. That means we have LOTS of doctors sending over prescriptions on a daily basis. I currently have 95 prescriptions printed on my counter. That’s not counting the 284 prescriptions in my computer and it’s only 11:28am. That means YOUR prescription is 1 out of 379 that need to get filled. Like I told you, it’s not ready. So do you want to wait or do you want to come back? Let me know because I got people waiting at the counter and I have 3 cars behind you and the longer we banter back and forth, the longer it’s going to take to fill your prescription. So what will it be?”
FF: “I’ll come back later.”
And I hope the doctor doesn’t get too upset when all sorts of people show up at his office talking about they don’t feel well and the pharmacy told them that they could be seen and treated by him right away with no wait.
-Idiot: “I’m here to pick up my prescriptions.”
Me: “Ok, your total is $3.95.”
Idiot: “Um, I have insurance.”
Me: “That’s with your insurance.”
And she shows me a discount card.
Me: “I can only bill the insurance or bill this card and I promise you, these 2 prescriptions will NOT be cheaper with the discount card as opposed to what the insurance is charging you.”
Idiot: “I thought my insurance was better than that. Weird.”
And she kept mumbling shit about how her insurance is shit and how it’s not right that she’s paying so much for her medication. Jesus unicycling Christ, if being charged $3.95 is considered having shit insurance, I’d like to trade with her. In the meantime, one of my regular little grandma’s is being charged $350 for her insulin and she’s trying to figure out which bill should NOT get paid and how she won’t be able to buy groceries so she can pay for her medication. But Idiot got it WAY worse being bamboozled by her insurance company for $3.95 copays.