honestly really sick and tired of being fed all this weird unsustainable and neurotypical glow up crap so… here’s my guide to improving yourself but… neurodivergent style
i want to preface this by saying that i have autism AND im my own person. plsplspls take every thing with a grain of salt bc this is what works for me!! here’s some of my criteria for what makes a good plan:
something that rides the line between specific and vague so that i know exactly what to do but i dont feel bad about when i accomplish it
made of up of tasks i know i can realistically accomplish with outside constraints like work
things that i actually want to do
chapter one: defining your vision
main goal: define what you actually want to achieve
- subtask one: define the life you want to live/situation
this means asking yourself: what do you actually want to accomplish. this is like the only part i like from all those toxic positivity people (well, that and this belief in the universe). but yeah. my advice? go crazy and push your dreams to the limits, and then siphon them down. in a dream world, let’s say you want to read 150 books like you see all the booktwt people do. realistically, you’re a slow reader and have some time commitments outside of reading, like work and school, that you know zaps energy out of you. now you can make pretty realistic visions/goals that you like.
- subtask two: define the parts that you want to change about your current life/situation
another good way of approaching this question is asking yourself what you want to change right now. for me personally, this is usually different from what i defined above and i think a lot of those productivity people skip it over. yes, i think it’s good to redirect to what you Can do. but it’s also good to have a starting point. and define that starting point.
taking that book example, let’s say that my goal is to “read more.” this is already pretty vague and not specific enough for my brain because what does “more” mean? but saying, “i read five books this year, i want to double that” is more specific for me. it’s great. gives me both the start and finish lines.
- subtask three: define the parts that you want to keep from your current life/situation.
again, this is something i feel like all the productivity people skip a lot. what is going well? because of my anxiety i tend to catastrophize everything. if a few things are wrong, it feels like this big cloud over my head that convinces me everything is also wrong. but that’s literally and factually incorrect!! so it’s also good to have a list of what you Have done/want to keep doing, even if you didn’t so it as well as you wanted to.
for example, a goal by now could look like this:
“i filled out one journal this whole year and i liked it, so i want to write in two next year.”
or you could have a series of lists side by side (i like this one because i like lists lol)
- subtask four: define the parts of your life that are out of your control. these can fit into the other categories.
this is also a really important list to have. i always forget to consider this when i make plans for the new year and then get surprised when i actually get affected by them. these things could be like work and school. for me, i’m in architecture school now (last time i posted i was in hs!!?? now im a sophomore in college???) and i’ve always wanted to maintain my grades and stuff. it’s really important to me, but i always put it as an afterthought when it deserves just as much brainspace and is kinda out of my control in terms of workload and energy consumption.
now that you have all your lists, its time to make a plan!
chapter two: creating a plan
- goal: devise a general plan with leeway that rides the line between specific and vague
i only say this because if i get to specific, i get stressed out when it doesnt go the way i wanted it to and then i freeze up. sometimes it still happens even when i have these types of plans, but i always try to give myself grace. my honest advice is to find the exact thing that stresses you out and just eliminate it from the wording of your goals. for me, it’s time. a time limit stresses me out. it’s kind of like a test. i do pretty well if i know what time it is and i’m doing the test, but i do worse if there’s a glaring timer that counts down. so instead of a time limit, i try to give myself time goals, if at all.
let’s get that example of reading again. if i want to “read more” then my goal might be: “i read maybe an hour last month, so i want to read for 5 hours total this month.”
anyway, here’s some pointers on how to actually achieve those overarching goals.
- subtask one: write out the ways that you are comfortable achieving those goals.
everyone achieves things differently. what you do might look completely different compared to someone else achieving the same goal. its the same approach to driving: some people take the highway and some people take the backroads but everyone can get to the same place using either one.
this process comes with understanding yourself and knowing your boundaries. if you want to meet new people but hate crowds and loud noises, then don’t go to busy night clubs and large parties if you don’t want to. go to a coffee shop and compliment someone instead. there’s plenty of ways to get to the same place.
- subtask two: understand your body and your energy levels. might take tracking.
this goes with the last one. UNDERSTAND YOURSELF!! TAKE THAT TIME!! WRITE NOTES!! know when your high energy days are. learn what it feels like. know when your low energy days are. learn what Those feel like.
- subtask three: allocate tasks to monthly, weekly, and daily basis. also specify if they are required or optional. put this in a 3x2 matrix. also specify if you gave them to yourself or if others did.
matrixes are like my best friend. i love tables. this is the way i typically break it down, and then i just set a reminder on my phone to choose today’s tasks, typically in the morning.
you can customize this matrix however the hell you want. but it gives me enough leeway to make everyday feel interesting while also not giving me decision fatigue.
- subtask four: make yourself aids to complete required tasks that you have trouble doing. make the task more enticing and easier to do for you.
i do this classes and showering and model making and reading and whatever. i make little guides on canva with visuals and i print them out and stick them everywhere. it helps too, when i put in there i can take a break. like showering is a whole thing for me. i need to take breaks often or else i won’t do it.
also sometimes you might just need to rename it. for example, ritualizing stuff and calling it that over a routine never really made sense to me because i was never sure how to make a “ritual” feel special when it was something i did anyway. kinda made me feel like i was in church wondering what prayer was. so i just call them routines. just like how i call goals visions instead. the wording is something my brain agrees with more.
- subtask five: separate tasks into how much energy they take up, including mental, physical, and emotional energy.
this is exactly like that matrix i mentioned. made sure you do this!!!! its another category thing that really helps and i love it.
chapter three: following the plan
this part is hard. its about adjusting and reminding yourself that growth us painful and tiring and that sometimes its okay to stop. YOU DONT HAVE TO BE GROWING ALL THE TIME!!!
- goal: create a sustainable way of following the plan you set for yourself
because yeah, lemme say it again: you don’t have to be growing all the time just to achieve this “productivity” metric. that’s really capitalist, remember? we might be cogs in the grand machine, but we also don’t necessarily have to live like one.
i will also say, this step is the most variable for everyone. sustainability to one person probably isnt for another. remember to use these as tips and not a hard guideline!
- subtask one: set reminders often for the first few days to keep you on track.
reminders give me notification fatigue. after a while, i begin to ignore them. same with alarms. make sure you have some systems in place for when you inevitably begin to wane in energy and consistency. for me, i typically do this by moving from system to system, depending on the week. some weeks notifications are really important to me. other weeks its lists and sticky notes everywhere.
- subtask two: check in your energy each day and schedule tasks accordingly.
this is really important to me (can you tell i get tired every day?) because i never know what i can do until i wake up that day. that variable begins to stress me out a little! but checking in on my energy and then using that matrix is really helpful.
- schedule in weekly and monthly tasks in calendar with reminders.
notion, apple calendar, google calendar, all three — whatever. make those reminders. schedule them in asap. a reminder can save your skin. make multiple reminders for the same thing, especially tests or projects. do what you need to do.
some extra tips/random shit i wanted to mention:
- vision boards are fun to make but they don’t really help me. what i do instead is just kinda describe vignettes in writing. it’s easier, flexible, and let’s me do whatever in my imagination. images can be rigid, while imagination is fluid.
- get interested in the things you want to be better at. nothing better than a hyperfixation to help you do the things you like. get interested in working out if you want to. also relate shit to the hyperfixation you have. my special interest is d&d, so i use that to practice art and get better at it while also connecting with people.
- separate your shit if it helps. i dont track a lot of monthly stuff on my gcal anymore bc its all in notion instead. helps my brain not get stressed as all hell.
- when considering how you’re comfortable achieving a goal, also consider what it might mean for other parts of your life, like financially or time-wise. are you comfortable getting an ereader to read more books? or do you just want to … download them entirely legally off of an entirely legal archive?
let me know if i missed anything, if you guys also have tips, etc etc. my next post is probably going to be about being nd in college since now im in college (yay) so look out for that!
