Okay I'm geniuly curious. Why are you like this? I assume that you are aware that your content is very questionable and gross/weird and a lot of people will come after you eventually. So why? And if those are some form of intrusive thoughts or something maybe seek help or keep them to yourself
this is actually a really good question!
i am aware my content is breaking boundaries and am more than aware some of what i write is morally reprehensible definitely. I believe i see it as more okay as i see it as disconnected from him despite it not really being that way. Maybe i see him as more of a character than a person? His relationships something to entertain me rather than an actual human connection? I'm not sure. Writing this is making me think about the consequences of what I'm writing and how it could effect him but again that disconnect stops me from lingering on it too definitively. It could be that my hyper fixation on him has stayed with me for so long that i stopped caring about boundaries a long time ago and decided to act on it.
Many who are in and lurking in this subcategory of tubbo fans tend to be autistic or neurodivergent themselves, which could play into why I'm unable to turn away from this category of "content" as you put it .
CNC, Bondage, ect. Maybe i got into the wrong media things as a kid and i ended up here who knows but im here. Ive dealt with intrusive thoughts, this is more obsession. I wanna see the hurt and the happy, everything he is and has to offer. I wanna see him prosper, i wanna see him bleeding. this hyper fixation is hard to ignore. Help or not, not sure this goes away unless i try? Or maybe its just how i truly feel? Again, im not very good with emotions so cant be too definitive. Maybe ill change my mind on this entirely and give up this freaky content, but i cant now. Not my compulsion.
Projection maybe? This feels like a dissection of myself lol but I'm going to be real with you, I'm not entirely sure why I'm okay with this? If it happened to me, fans screaming their wants and needs about what they'd do to me if they saw me, could have me, might make me uncomfortable? Cant be too sure honestly. To me this content is fiction, not real, never will be. Hopefully never will be as some of what ive written is graphic and I'd never genuinely wish that upon him. I cant speak for others and with my content you could say I'm enabling them? Again,. dissection of the self here lmao but i enjoyed this question. Hopefully i hear from you again anon!












