here to enjoy myself. MXTX's oeuvre is my main but I contain multitudes. Gender neutral terms please. will geek out with you if you interact (take that as an invitation) (18+)
we need to bring back old school tumblr communication and im so serious. sending an ask to a mutual just to say hello. seeing three different asks in your inbox all asking how your dentist appointment went. seeing a post you think one of your mutuals would enjoy and tagging them/sending it to them in the dms. nowadays its just silently liking a post or (if youre feeling extreme) replying under posts. WHAT HAPPENED TO US!! we used to be a proper community!!!! #LetsBringWhimsyBack
Need more fics where sj!SQQ and a martial sibling gets stuck in a situation, and instead of them having a bonding moment or something stupid and emotionally healing, sj just pulls out a knife.
guys i forgot abt this post but past me was SO right.
imagine a reallly welll written qijiu where its about their unresolved past and both of them ruminating on it during their discipleship, yqy wrestling with his awful lingxi caves trauma and sj with all of his everything trauma, and them both feeling the raw, feral thing between them, the gap of so many years and pain, the betrayal, failure and loss, the tiny feeling that they bury deep within and smother before it can even speak of ‘even in spite of everything, even though you wouldnt give it, and i dont deserve it, i want you back. i want us back.’
and then theyre in a life or death scenario.
and yqy, finding clarity in the face of death, opens his mouth to finally admit his shame, his fear, his failure. and just as hes about to say ‘i came back for you’,—-
or ‘i failed—-‘ or even, idiotically, ‘i love you—‘
sj is standing; the ropes that constricted him falling to pieces at his feet.
‘what useless drivel were you about to say, shixiong? it seems im the only one who knows how to rescue himself.’
and the words die in his throat. useless once again.
anyway, wouldnt that be AWFULLLL like all this build up. and then competency as another foil on the pile of thwartations of qijiu’s reconciliation
Healer!Binghe au where he's a prodigy miracle-working healer who found his specialty after his rotation into the Qian Cao dual cultivation wards.
He's an amazing healer that has appointments booked out for months if not years, and public opinion of his services is sky high. A kind, attentive young man who's knowledgeable, with a healer's surety and gentleman's poise? What's not to love? And the perks of your incurable ailments never bothering you again after a session where it feels like you ascended to heaven yourself?
All this to say, Luo Binghe who gets to help people, find a place in the world, and perhaps comes into knowledge of his heritage a gentler way. Perhaps Mu Qingfang figuring it out and breaking the news, or Luo Binghe finding a half-demon half-human patient himself and discovering the signs of such a blood.
And then the fun part where you insert (heh) any other beloved svsss character into his loving care for any number of reason
SQQ: qi deviations, easily.
MQF hands him a date for an appointment and threatens to take away Shang Qinghua's stash of rare hallucinogenic herbs to make him take away QJP funding.
LQG? Deadly, deadly, sweaty sex pollen. Classic.
YQY: Easy. Complications from the whole Xuan Su business. Mu Qingfang decides to fight one big sword with another and transfers YQY's care to Cang Qiong's best.
SY, even though SQQ has already been covered, easy. System shenanigans, maybe he's trying to avoid the protagonist's sight so as not to die as a pathetic male side character! The protagonist halo keeps LBH from ever needing a healer who wasn't a beautiful nurse wife anyway, and maybe the protagonist would have some sort of scruple over killing a medic? So SY joins a program to study in one of Qian Cao's wards!
Please imagine Luo Binghe fighting his inner beast every day to not pounce on SY because he's the senior healer and it would be improper! More importantly, power imbalance! Luo Binghe would not incur the wrath of the internal Qian Cao ethics department. He's seen what they've done to Mu Qingfang.
on the amnesia note, instead of a Wei Wuxian who doesn't remember, or a Lan Wangji, what about a Jiang Cheng?
He doesn't hunt demonic cultivators for sport, and his temper is still fiery, if not more stable.
he doesn't remember why it would be different though.
He doesn't remember summers on lotus pier, the wild antics of a beloved Da-shixiong, or the tinkling laughter of a beloved A-jie. He has a nephew, who he cares for, but he has no memories to offer of a mother long passed.
He offers incense in the family shrine, but the feelings of grief and bitterness at the names of his parents don't come.
Glided tablets are the only concept of father and mother he knows.
His strength as a sect leader is still overpowering, and without sentiment to still his hand his dealings with his late sister's marital sect are more harsh, accepting no less than what is fair.
A man returns from the dead, an apparition of war he only knows from whispers, rumors, and the records of recent history, but Jiang Cheng feels no connection. it simply was not his issue. the Yiling Patriarch had not been part of Yunmeng Jiang for many years, and return from the grave would not change that.
The most interest Jiang Cheng had the in the matter was his nephew's in involvement. a few trusted minders were sent, and he kept a finger on the political pulse of the matter.
That was until he met the Yiling Patriarch in person. And he felt, familiar.
Sorrow, joy, pain, resentment, love.
That was until he began to recall flashes of a home he had only known through records. That was before he looked at names like Jiang Yanli and ached.
That was before he learned of an insurmountable debt.
That was before he met the eyes of a brother who was mourning the memory of the man before. That was before he met someone who thought he was lesser for loss of memory.
yue qingyuan who doesn't remember the lingxi caves or anything beforehand. he wakes up to pain, unfamiliar faces that call themselves his martial family. they are kind to him, and certain faces twist in pity (and what he eventually recognizes as guilt) when they look at him.
he dreams.
all unfamiliar scenes, city streets from the perspective of the dirt and those among it, when all he had seen is the sprawling mass from above, soaring high among the whiteness of clouds.
he dreams of caves, of dampness and inhuman agony, of hearing the echoes of his own tortures bouncing back to him.
yue qingyuan does not know weakness. he experiences the shadow of it in his slumber, but it is as unfamiliar as the faces that his mind brings to the fore.
he understands what happened to him. his Shizun had sat him down and explained the folly that led him to the man he was today. the man he has come to respect had apologized for his own part in allowing his disciple to come to such a great price of folly out of desperation.
yue qingyuan knows that there was someone he wanted here at the sect with him, and logically he understood the price previous Yue Qingyuan was willing to pay. but that does not mean he feels any connection to it now.
out of respect for the sacrifices of his previous self, he does look. all he finds is ashes, and he lights incense for the lost and fallen.
he returns to the sect, and his life is what it always has been. he is Yue Qingyuan, heir to the sect leader, Head Disciple of Qiong Ding, the Xuan Su Sword, and his duty is to lead.
yet still, he dreams. in vivid colors, of a life alien to himself.
his deepest mind subjects him to a young face with large dark eyes, sparkling with an inner fire, caught to light like flint struck. a distant voice and a near warmth that called him "gege."
it is a type of love, a fierceness deep within that Yue Qingyuan understands to be the truth of his being. a family member. one that is now lost to him. he grieves memory, he grieves life.
he does not feel as if he has lost a piece of himself, like he did when Lao-shimei was lost, but he knows he should. And that is a special grief unto itself. that he could not understand the loss in the way it deserves.
and then, one day, a head disciple is chosen for Qing Jing. He's excited, this person is meant to be his second, and Yue Qingyuan looks forward to meeting them, to leading the sect together. of having someone who understands the weight of leadership alongside him. he harbors a secret desire that maybe they could even commiserate over such burdens.
Shen Qingqiu is not exactly what he expected from a Qing Jing head disciple, but Yue Qingyuan finds himself liking the man nonetheless. he's strong, possessive of the sect in the same way Yue Qingyuan was more privately, and his wickedly sharp intellect was a pleasure to watch. his issues with liu-shidi were understandable considering their opposing natures, but Yue Qingyuan saw how they would still work together for the strength of the sect.
Already he imagined late nights and sharp remarks made behind closed doors between peers, a confidence shared only by leaders of the foremost sect.
this all was shattered like cheap porcelain when he was shoved into a back garden, and Shen Qingqiu hissed a "what is wrong with you?! is this you merely shaking the abhorrent mud off your fine boots or do you truly not remember?!"
yue qingyuan says “fuck” during a peak lord meeting and that’s how everyone finds his drink was spiked with a truth serum. yqy is Mortified when every third word out of his mouth is a swear. sqq, on the other hand, is absolutely delighted.
Transmigration identity reveal except that as Shen Qingqiu haltingly, carefully picks his words to confess to his fellow peak lords, he's met at first with silence (understandable, what he just confessed to can be fairly described as unbelievable!), and then, after that silence has stretched into something truly suffocating to the poor, vulnerable transmigrator... he finally hears a low, whispered question from Wei Qingwei to Mu Qingfang, "Ah, again?"
And Shen Qingqiu is horrified, because he realizes that they must have actually noticed when he tagged in for the Original Goods! They already realized that something happened and he became a different person, and they think he's saying he's been switched again! Well, he's chagrined to know that he wasn't as slick as he thought, but he's quick to at least clarify, "No, this has only happened the once! When the former Shen Qingqiu had that major qi deviation a few years ago. I know, I'm late to tell you the truth, but you all deserve to know. Or, I guess, to hear it from me truthfully."
Yet again, there's more silence until, so gently, Yue Qingyuan places a hand on Shen Qingqiu's arm. "It's true, we already know, shidi. You can relax."
"We already know every time you tell us," Qi Qingqi adds. It's said as an aside, and it earns her an exasperated frown from Mu Qingfang.
"This is the nicest he's ever been about it, though," Wei Qingwei says, and he smiles cheerfully at Shen Qingqiu like the last two sentences spoken didn't just throw him ass-over-kettle into a whole new identity crisis.
He's not sure if he has a qi deviation, or just a good old fashioned blue-screen dissociative episode, but the rest of the peak lord meeting is a blur until it's just him, Yue Qingyuan, and Mu Qingfang left in the room.
Turns out, according to the sect leader and doctor, the transmigration "reveal" talks have happened several times over the years! In fact, the first one was when Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu were children, and he had confessed to being transmigrated at birth. What?! Then at multiple points throughout disciplehood, and one other instance since ascension, Shen Qingqiu has made the same confession, again and again.
Again and again!
Each time, he insisted that he was a brand new person, a brand new soul, usurping the body's previous owner. Usually, he hardly changed enough to notice a difference.
"Then, I think this time is different. You know I've changed, you know I'm not like the Original Goods," Shen Qingqiu pleads. They're not understanding.
And Mu Qingfang, patiently like they're talking about Shen Qingqiu telling him the symptoms of a cold and not confessing to having possessed their dead martial brother(s?!), nods slowly and says, "You always believe that. Sometimes, it's more the case than others."
"So, Shen Qingqiu has died, what, a dozen times? And just keeps being replaced?" Shen Qingqiu says, aghast.
"Shidi always thinks so," Yue Qingyuan says, and it is not an answer. Certainly not one that satisfied Shen Qingqiu.
Shen Qingqiu is just so sure that they're all lying to themselves, pretending that it's not as horrible as it really is!
He pities them, actually. They just won't face the truth, for some reason clinging to the idea that their awful, scum martial brother is still somehow with them.
For nearly a whole year he pities them. He only stops pitying them when a Without-A-Cure flareup results in a sudden qi deviation and --
...
Shen Yuan opens his eyes to see an unfamiliar canopy over an unfamiliar bed. Beside him, a handsome man in xuanduan asks him how he feels.
a funny scenario would be all the peak lords about to enter into peak Lord summit, arriving separately, and walking in to see yqy commiting what looks to be a murder.
surely, if zhangmen-shixiong killed someone they deserved it. so, as good shidimen they all individually decide to help yqy cover up the murder without mentioning it to yqy himself. this leads to three different corpses being found, at least seven motives to kill, four murderers that miraculously showed up and and are caricatures of evil, two lovers that claim yqy was with them specifically the night of the murder, eight different 'eyewitnesses', and all the peak Lord unanimously arguing for yqy's innocence even though none of the evidence pointed to him (or anywhere really) anyway.
yqy isn't sure if he should feel concerned all his martial siblings felt the need to assert his innocence, or touched that they believed so ardently in said innocence.
mu qingfang is just gleefully doing autopsies in the background by the way
