hui

𝘴𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴, 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘣𝘶𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘭𝘺

[luvchaes]

welcome to 𝐇𝐔𝐈’𝐒 𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐑!

about me:

18, female (she/her), dancer who writes sometimes for nct

please click to 𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑:

╰┈➤ masterlist 🗂

╰┈➤works in progress

recent work: 7 reasons why it happened

╰┈➤chapter mlist [chapter 3 posted]

requests: open

𝐄𝐍𝐉𝐎𝐘 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐕𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐓 ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

[marky4l]

hello if its not too much to ask can i request a soft mark drabble? hehe

this was a very broad request but I was suffering terribly from writers block and wanted to try.. sry this is like a literal month or so late but here is a subpar timestamp :) I’m not necessarily proud of it but I hope u love it anon :( <3

—

20:34 PM

sometimes you smile, and you don’t even know it until somebody points it out.

by that time it’d have spread to your eyes, your teeth and your hands, a low and steady beat of warmth around you, everywhere. sometimes you smile and when somebody says hey, you’re smiling, you realize your jaw aches and your mouth is stretched. sometimes we don’t even know when we’re smiling, let alone why. sometimes we do.

sometimes a smile is natural, a grin after a long day of exhaustion and sadness, and sometimes it’s spontaneous, just out of the blue of silence and nothingness. sometimes you smile because you see a dog by the road, or the sky is a brilliant shade of purple, or the flowers by your windowsill are finally looking like flowers and not vibrant stubs of plant.

it’s quiet, and it’s been a long day of being by yourself. but he’s here now.

sometimes a smile can help, an infinitesimal change in the environment, and sometimes it worsens the mood—you can’t count the times you smiled at the worst moments—and sometimes a smile is just that, a smile. like how a cloud is just a cloud, just existing. a smile can do the same. today, it’s helping, though, bringing forth a bubbling cacophony of happiness.

you’re not particular about feeling happy. it’s frankly overrated. you’re sad, and then you’re not, and then you’re neither: for you, it’s enough to be.

more than, even. you feel undeserving of the verb being, but then he speaks and suddenly being is worth everything. sometimes his voice is all you need, several words and you’re okay. you don’t need to be excellent or amazing. just being okay is okay. and he makes you feel okay. sometimes it’s a good morning or a botched bonne nuit. sometimes it’s a pet name, most times it’s the utterance of your name.

you like hearing his voice in real life, when you can feel it more than hear it, head in chest, vibrations of his words speaking volumes. it lets you know he’s yours, he’s close by, and that he’s okay. you like it like that, intimate and authentic, no barrier of noise, not even a mask, just him, and he’s all yours.

hi, baby. it’s not like that, today. sometimes it goes that way. he’s faraway, whisked into a different city surrounded by sterile hotel freshener and warmed blankets with essential oils. it’s cozy, he says. very, but it’s not home. today is that kind of day, a 6am here and 12pm there kind of day, separated by time and noise and the impediments of technology.

you wished you could just cross the sea and hug him. have him be yours again.

sometimes you fight. it’s rare, lately especially, but sometimes you do. it’s not immature, nor is it petty, but it’s just human and raw and natural, and you can’t complain about the very organic progression of disagreements. it’s always reasonable. it’s always the same, though, fights hushed in tones you’ve had to accustom yourself to understand, from years of keeping you a precious secret.

but you don’t like to linger on those. those are rancid days, as natural and normal as they are.

today’s a better day. sometimes you smile so, so wide, and you’ll never know unless somebody points it out—in a louder tone bordering accusation, finger pointed teasingly as they say hey, you’re smiling so big! and you’re forced to shut the grin down, or at least turn it down. in the grand scheme of things, you’re aware this doesn’t matter, that if you want to smile then hell, you will smile.

but to some degree, it means the world to you. because there are the people who will never point out the smile, and instead return it with quiet happiness, happiness that matches yours. he’s like that. like now, a few seconds delayed, when he pauses and smiles like a fool.

you look like a fool, you say. it is cold here and it’s sweltering there, but you feel like you’re together, like he’s really here wearing a ridiculous bathrobe and smiling stupidly. why are you smiling, mark? and he just laughs like you missed something, but it makes you blush instead of raise a brow.

sometimes you will find the person who you love so much that the idea of love is no longer foreign, not at all, but something so homely and close it’s practically your invention and discovery.

you like to share sentiments on love with him. you’d shared a quote to him before, from one of your favorite books, which read ‘both of them remained floating in an empty universe where the only everyday & eternal reality was love.’ it was from one hundred years of solitude.

he had laughed. that was a quote about an incestuous relationship, he said. he was right, but he acknowledged its beauty. i wanna be stuck with you. sometimes he’d share some to you. ‘at the touch of love everyone becomes a poet,’ he shared one night, after scrawling down verses and stanzas on his desk, onto receipts and papers scattered around.

plato, you responded, weakly registering the famous quote.he nodded from his place, laying on your stomach.

you’re basically a poet, you continued, faintly remembering the smooth flow of his words, the seamless switch between korean and english when he was onstage and even off. a creative at its finest. he kissed you. the next day, at your insistence, he posted on instagram a snippet of a verse he’d written that night titled ‘black socks.’ you told him plato was rolling in his grave.

sometimes you smile, so stupidly and foolishly and without any inhibition whatsoever, so huge and stupendous, a delirium of joy and love, a smile worthy of literature, a smile worthy of poetry and film and romance.

you’re beautiful, he croaks sleepily from the other end of the call.

with mark, that sometimes becomes an always.

—

hope you liked it :)

[luvchaes]

hey besties, out of curiosity, would any of y’all like to be part of a tag list for future chapters of “7 reasons why it happened” ?

if so, y’all could comment under this post hehe<3

[jaeyunverse]

the roommate contract

PAIRING(S) | lee jeno x fem!reader

GENRE(S) | fluff, crack, angst, suggestive, one-sided enemies to lovers, roommates au, brother’s best friend au, fake dating

WORD COUNT | 11341

PLAYLIST | click here!

WARNING(S) | profanity, a very flirty jeno, jaemin and mc are siblings and she sorta badmouths him oops, lot of childish banter, jeno is older than the mc by two years, there’s one suggestive kiss so pls proceed with caution, some angst at the end (lmk if i’ve missed anything!) 

TAGLIST | @jensrose @marklilies @totalbetty @njmverse @i-m4rk @jenotapes @f-i-t-z-s-i-m-m-o-n-s @kodasity @keemburley @soonwoosz @neocuddlytechnology​ @doievoir @notbeforelong @nctstrawberrycow @aedreamzy @pewpewpwe00 @yixingtion @jvjsssnaa @hae06 @frickyratz @skye-is-here @rynshyuckies @rbf-aceu

AUTHOR’S NOTE | this was supposed to be slowburn but i kinda got impatient so i ditched that plan LMFAO this is a bit fast-paced imo but i hope you guys enjoy the fic! feedback is always appreciated :D i would also like to thank @totalbetty​ for taking the time to beta read the roommate contract and providing helpful suggestions <3

That day, you made three mistakes. 

First: talking about your problems in public. Second: letting slip how desperate you were. Third (the gravest mistake): locking gazes with none other than Lee Jeno. 

He perked up when you yelled at Hwang Yeji, “I’ll have nowhere to go!” 

The moment the words were out, your wide eyes met his amused ones. Jeno quirked an eyebrow and smirked, walking over to the booth you and Yeji were seated at. 

“What’s this I hear about you needing a place to crash, Y/N?” he cooed, setting his cup of coffee on the table and sliding beside you. 

You glared at him, frowning when the bare skin of his arm brushed against yours. Shifting away, you snapped, “None of your damn business, Lee. Quit eavesdropping and get out of here.”  

Jeno’s smirk grew when he saw your discomfort. Throwing an arm around your shoulder, he pulled you against him. Your head smashed into his hard chest as he teased, “Now, now, is that how you treat your brother’s best friend?” 

You narrowed your eyes and craned your neck to look at him. “That’s how I treat an egotistical bastard who doesn’t know basic manners.” 

Jeno grinned at the insult, lightly bumping his forehead against yours. “You look so attractive right now.” 

Colour bloomed on your cheeks, and you shoved him away, cursing loudly. He laughed at your flustered state, his eyes turning into small crescent moons. 

This was Lee Jeno—a huge flirt who thought highly of himself due to the popularity he had gained as the star player of your university’s football team, and whose only personality trait was being ridiculously attractive. 

Keep reading

[luvchaes]

YK I'm excited for one more thing in 7 reasons why it happened who is Tony in this story

IM SO EXCITED FOR YOUR STORY FHFHDBFB DJFJDNND

i hope you have a good day and take care of yourself ❤️

i’ve got something planned out that has yet to be executed! i hope it’ll work out well GKDKSKS

HAVE A GREAT DAY TOO<3

[luvchaes]

SUCCESSFULLY CHANGED BANNER🥵😋

[luvchaes]

i’m gonna change my banner for “7 reasons why it happened” but picsart is being a pain in the ass and not letting me save it and NOW I HAVE TO REDO IT AGAIN😡🤬

[luvchaes]

i love your series 7 reasons why it happened <3

thank u so much for loving it !!😩😩💓

[luvchaes]

ykk when I saw your series 7 reasons why it happened after reading the summary i decided to watch 13reasons as I am reading your story i can imagine esp that part where hj nd woo used to go to grind together i remembered monet's nd IM SO HAPPY YOU MADE AN AU ON MY FAV SERIES i hope you are doing well

OMG THANK U THANK U SM FOR LIKING THIS ONGOING SERIES😩😩😭😭

all the scenes in the show that were filmed in Monet’s were my favourite scenes and i couldn’t resist bringing in a similar concept into the fic !! thank you so much for your kind words it truly made my day! ily<3

[luvchaes]

hi sorry to disturb but could you please ad a read more to your posts? thank you <33

HEY HEY could i clarify what do you mean by that?

[luvchaes]

7 reasons why it happened

genre: angst, some fluff, broken friendships, incidents of betrayal

pairing:ot8 highschool student! ateez

summary: it has been 5 months since jung wooyoung jumped to his death. while the whole school still seems to be mourning his sudden death, 7 boys each receive a mysterious letter containing written contents related to the boy’s death. as all of them read their own letters, they slowly discover their seemingly unharmful actions may result in unpredictable hostile situations.

warnings: mentions of suicide, quite a large amount of swearing, underaged drinking, smoking, substance abuse and violence.

note: the plot of this story is inspired by 13 reasons why (which y’all should totally watch) and the words in bold are texts from the letters and words in bold italic are flashbacks

note (2): the show 13 reasons why contains very disturbing topics such as SH, SA, violence, substance abuse, rape, and quite gory in some scenes where blood is explicitly shown. please don’t watch the show if you are easily triggered by such topics!

“Choi San and Park Seonghwa, thank you for being here with us today. The student council has gathered here to help decide the respective punishment for each of you. Now, Seonghwa, would you give your account on what happened earlier?” Hongjoong said, his right hand clutching a pen as he began to jot down some points onto the blank piece of paper.

Seonghwa rolled his eyes.

“I was just minding my own business before San,” he recounted, glaring at the boy who was seated on his right, “decided it would be a wonderful idea to punch me in the face right in front of everyone.” This caused San to chuckle, piquing the attention of the student council members seated in the quiet room.

“Maybe if you weren’t trying to sell weed to a freshmen by your locker, all this wouldn’t have happened.” San hissed at the latter, causing Seonghwa to look away hastily. Hongjoong could only stare at the two blankly. San and Seonghwa were usually joined by the hip and nothing could have tear apart their five years of friendship. 

This minor disagreement and the fist fight that followed up must have been different. 

“Alright. Next question, Seonghwa, why were you trying to get a freshman involved in your suspicious and illegal activity?” Hongjoong asked again. 

“He wanted it, of course. What other valid reason can I give?” Seonghwa muttered begrudgingly, eyes trailing everywhere except Hongjoong’s face. He sighed in exasperation and rubbed his temple before jotting down more notes hurriedly. 

“I have one thing to clarify, San.” Yeosang voiced out from the other end of the table, “What triggered you to punch Seonghwa?” San whipped his head, annoyance clearly visible in his black orbs. 

“He was doing something fucked up! Of course I had to get him.” Yeosang hummed at the boy’s heated response. He leaned forward toward San and looked at him in dead in the eyes. 

“Isn’t Seonghwa your friend? Usually, when someone has whitnessed a person dear to them display such despicable behaviour, one would either try to cover it up or simply talk to that individual. But you, Choi San, punched your best friend of five years. Why?” Yeosang’s words had definitely burnt a blazing hot hole in San’s shell of lies because San had stood up and walked out of the room with gritted teeth without uttering a word. Yeosang only watched the angry boy storm out of the room before leaning back into his chair with his legs crossed, his pen moving smoothly across the piece of paper. 

“Yeosang, what was that for?” Hongjoong questioned, his grip on his pen growing stronger as each second crawled by. Yeosang looked up with an indifferent look plastered across his face. 

“I only did it to obtain more justified evidence. It was his fault for getting so worked up.” 

“Just keep your mouth shut, Kang,” Hongjoong spat out before turning his gaze back to Seonghwa, “Thank you for coming, Seonghwa. We will get back to you about your punishment tomorrow after discussing this with Mr Lee. You may leave.” Hongjoong gestured Seonghwa to the open door. Seonghwa stood up and dragged his feet out of the room with a heavy heart and an exhausted mind. 

The boy was not even halfway down the hallway before he felt a sturdy grip on his wrist. He turned around and came face to face with Hongjoong. 

Could his day possibly get any worse? 

“What the fuck, Park Seonghwa! You got a dress code offense two days ago and now your doing drugs? Most importantly, you didn’t even fucking tell me anything! What’s going on with you, Hwa?” Hongjoong whispered-shouted. 

“Hongjoong, please, leave it. I can’t do this right now.” Seonghwa whispered, running a hand through his hair. 

“Quit the sorry attitude, Park! I don’t want anymore secrets! You either tell me everything, or our friendship is fucking done.” Hongjoong was furious and seething with rage. He felt betrayed, puzzled and disappointed all at once.

“Maybe it’s you who needs to be put into place! You’re the other hypocrite, Hongjoong!” Seonghwa exclaimed, throwing his hands up in utter annoyance. Hongjoong jumped at his friend’s sudden outburst, eyes widening while his previous emotions fizzled away and were now replaced with the feeling of shock and apprehension.

“Don’t give me that dumb look, Kim Hongjoong. Weren’t you friends with that piece of shit? ” Seonghwa walked closer to the latter, narrowing the distance between them. Hongjoong could soon feel the boy’s hot breath tickling his skin.

Hongjoong’s blood began to boil. He could not bare to be in the same premise as this menace he used to call his best buddy all the time. He strengthened the grip on his backpack and took a step towards Seonghwa, causing both of their foreheads to connect slightly.

“Don’t you fucking dare bring up his name in my face ever again. You treated him like shit while I tried to be there for him. I’m not the hypocrite, you are.” Hongjoong muttered angrily before walking away briskly with tears threatening to fall.

_______________________________________________

Dear Kim Hongjoong,

“The fuck is this?” Hongjoong mumbled as he stood at the bus stop. The 18-year-old boy had reached into his pocket to fish out his mobile phone before he saw an envelope fall out of the side pocket of his backpack. Judging by the neat cursive writing of his name on the surface of the envelope, he briefly assumed that it was a silly love letter written by one of the silly female freshman students.

Hey bud! It’s Wooyoung! It’s been a while, eh?

Maybe the universe was not truly on Hongjoong’s side today.

With shaky legs, Hongjoong managed to sit himself on an empty bench located near the bus stop. Screw taking the bus that arrived at 4.30 in the afternoon, because this boy had just received a letter from a friend who died five months ago.

If you’re reading this, cheers! You are the third person to receive a letter from me. Don’t be too shocked! By the time you read this, I’ll be long gone. Nevertheless, as much as you may be puzzled by this abrupt piece of writing, this letter will actually explain everything.

Kim Hongjoong. Mr Kim. Mr President. It was such an honour to get to know you. We met through Seonghwa since you two shared a lot of classes together. During our first encounter, you shared your sugar-free granola bars with me! The gesture was exceptionally kind, but I cannot deny the fact that those things not only resembled stone bricks but tasted like them too, no offence!

Alright, enough with the chit-chat! Let’s get down to real business. Listen, Hongjoong, from day one, I never truly came to know the main reason why you chose to befriend me. Was it because I was lonely? Was it because I was the weird kid and it would boost your reputation if you were nice to one? Was it because I was actually a likeable person?

Or was it because I was easy?

The target on my back had already been planted and large enough for everyone to see, so I just blatantly assumed that the fourth reason was it.

But eventually, I came to realise that you simply had good intentions. When San and Seonghwa had become distant, you always never failed to sit with me at lunch, ramble about how you had re-watched the all seven seasons of Brooklyn Nine-Nine and visit The Grind together everyday after school! We visited that cafe so often that the owner, Mrs Lee, knew our orders by heart.

The Grind soon became our secret hideout, mainly because no one from school would visit a cafe that was not within walking distance. I savoured every memory and moment we made there, from the time we almost got kicked out to the time we ordered five cups of coffee to see who could finished them the fastest.

The two of us spent all our time together, and we made a promise to stick together.

Well, that promise was valid till you stopped coming to the cafe one day.

——————————————————————————

“Good afternoon Wooyoung! Where’s Hongjoong?” Mrs Lee asked as she continued to arrange the clean cups neatly.

“I didn’t see him today. I came here thinking that he’d be here early but it seems you haven’t seen him either.” Wooyoung replied sadly, glancing around the premise in hopes of spotting his friend hunched behind a textbook.

“He hasn’t showed up at all. Usually you two would rush in together, rowdy as always.” Mrs Lee chuckled in amusement, causing Wooyoung to smile a little in response to her witty remark. He shoved his hands into pocket and rocked himself back and forth on his two feet.

“I guess I’ll wait for him. Could I get a drink please?” Mrs Lee smiled warmly and nodded.

“One large hot chocolate coming right up! Chin up, boy, your friend’s probably busy! He’ll make his appearance soon enough.” Wooyoung sighed before flashing a small smile at the kind woman and placing the money on the counter. His drink was made in no time and Wooyoung silently made his way to his usual spot.

The boy sipped his drink quietly while attempting to focus on the worksheet that was placed in front of him. Every time he heard the bell hung by the entrance ring, Wooyoung’s gaze would always shoot up from his paper to the individual entering.

In all those ten attempts, none of them were Hongjoong.

Customers came and went. The sky that was once a pleasing shade of light blue had soon turned dark. The muffled roar of car engines gradually increased in volume as people made their way home. As time passed, more customers left the cafe and soon, Wooyoung was the only one left while Mrs Lee prepared to close the shop.

It was not until the closing time of the cafe had approached when Wooyoung had no choice but to leave.

Even so, his friend never showed up.

——————————————————————————

Even after that, I still went to the cafe and waited, foolishly hoping that you would somehow saunter your way in and tell me all this was all a prank.

But you never did.

I tried to talk to you about it whenever I got the chance. However, the attempts were futile, because you constantly avoided me. You stopped sitting beside me at lunch, we never did projects together anymore and you seemed to have found another group of friends to hang out with, which consisted of the one and only, Park Seonghwa, but you will find out soon enough about my…history with this lad.

With that, I had officially travelled back to square one, lonely, hopelessly gay and still obsessed with hot chocolate.

I soon began to embrace the loneliness after realising my horrible luck with friends. I learnt that it was actually alright being alone. I did not have to talk to anyone and not being involved in anymore drama was a literal dream come true.

However, I still had this habit of speaking too soon, because on a lovely Tuesday afternoon, you walked into the cafe with your lovely new friends.

——————————————————————————

“Good afternoon, Hongjoong! It’s been so long since you visited! Can I get you your usual?” Mrs Lee requested brightly while flashing welcoming smiles at the entourage behind Hongjoong.

“Nice to see you again, Mrs Lee. I’ve been busy, so I couldn’t really come by as often. I would love my usual order and four iced lattes. Thank you!” Hongjoong responded with equal enthusiasm as he paid for the drinks.

“I’m really glad you came by. Wooyoung has been coming by everyday waiting for you, so pop around the corner in the back to say hi, alright? You two are indeed the best of friends!” Hongjoong tensed at her response, his grip on the hem of his school blouse tightening in his clammy hands. A tiny wave of snickers was heard behind the boy.

“You’re friends with Wooyoung? You desperate for some extra credit or something? Grow a fucking brain, Joong. You know better than to be friends with that loser.” Seonghwa interjected as the group walked to a table located near the windows. Hongjoong bit his lip, peering over his shoulder only to be met with a pair of sad eyes that belonged to Wooyoung. Hongjoong could see the boy clutch his pen tighter, his mouth trying to be forced open in an attempt to call out to him. Somehow, Hongjoong felt the urge to approach Wooyoung to say he was sorry for avoiding him and to persuade him that both of them were still friends. Hongjoong wanted to comfort and protect the poor boy who was now being brutally insulted by the group of people he was now apart of.

Despite all that, Kim Hongjoong was still the ultimate coward.

“I’m not friends with Wooyoung. I was never friends with that guy.” Hongjoong said, feigning nonchalance as he took a sip of his strawberry smoothie. As soon as he uttered those words, he heard footsteps followed by the jingle of the bell placed at the exit, indicating someone walked out.

Hongjoong did not have to look behind him to know who it was.

——————————————————————————

I could not bear to here another word come out of their mouths. Apologies if I seen overly dramatic, but those words fucking hurt. Every minute felt like a knife sinking deeper and deeper into my heart, and that hurt like a fucking bitch.

However, I do not blame you for saying that Hongjoong. I really do not. Friends come and go. It was completely understood that you did not want anything to do with me and I respect that. My existence has done nothing but take a toll on the people around me.

Despite that, you were initially still one of my good friends, and I am entirely grateful for the memories we created as a duo. Thank you Hongjoong for staying by my side when others were distant. Thank you for making me realise how the simplest things were always the most treasured. Thank you for embracing my fucked up self.

Lastly, thank you for being my third reason to die.

Lots of love,

Jung Wooyoung

“Good evening, Hongjoong. We’re almost closed. Do you need anything?“ Mrs Lee asked, concern lacing her soft voice.

“Could I stay here for a bit? I need to clear my thoughts. “ Hongjoong muttered, earning a nod from the woman behind the counter. He smiled at her gingerly as he made his way over to his usual seat.

As the boy sat down and stared blankly into the empty spot across him that was once frequently occupied by a precious vulnerable human being, Mrs Lee could only watch the lost boy from a distance with a tear flowing down her cheek.

[luvchaes]

having writer’s block rn </3

[yunhomocide-deactivated20211223]

ATTENTION EVERY FUCKING SINGLE ONE OF YOUS:

lulu hasnt been feeling well, and one of the posts she made really points the problem out. I've been thinking about all of you (and me) spamming her with ateez pictures (soft and cute only) and spamming her with sweet messages. please reblog if you see this, idfc about your excuse you hag.

@hijirikaww @hopexclouds @jaemssna @jaemssna @joongs-lost-treasure @gay-for-gaon @lilhwahwa @lex-thesimpzzz @dazzling-lightzzz @yunhoflrtz @quiryuky @queenmedi @yungisstar1117 @vampireyeosang @vilavixg @multidreams-and-desires @serialee @twancingyunhoe @chuu-cherrie @baguette-atiny @haoshichwe

[yunhoflrtz-archives-deactivated]

lulu’s @ is @/wooyoungsbae !!! send some love when you get the chance <3

[luvchaes]

7 reasons why it happened

genre: angst, some fluff, broken friendships, incidents of betrayal

pairing:ot8 highschool student! ateez

summary: it has been 5 months since jung wooyoung jumped to his death. while the whole school still seems to be mourning his sudden death, 7 boys each receive a mysterious letter containing written contents related to the boy’s death. as all of them read their own letters, they slowly discover their seemingly unharmful actions may result in unpredictable hostile situations.

warnings: mentions of suicide, quite a large amount of swearing, underaged drinking, smoking, substance abuse, violence and some use of slurs.

note: the plot of this story is inspired by 13 reasons why (which y’all should totally watch) and the words in bold are texts from the letters and words in bold italic are flashbacks

note (2): the show 13 reasons why contains very disturbing topics such as SH, SA, violence, substance abuse, rape, and quite gory in some scenes where blood is explicitly shown. please don’t watch the show if you are easily triggered by such topics!

“Seonghwa, what the fuck happened to you? Fought a dragon along the way here?” San exclaimed, jumping in front of the tall slender male. A slap was delivered to his shoulder and followed by a grunt of annoyance before Seonghwa brushed past the latter. San cocked his head to the side, confused at his friend’s sudden hostility. Seonghwa was usually bubbly and bright—blessed by the fact that he is a morning person—but the unprecedented change of behaviour was worrying.

San trailed behind Seonghwa, who was headed to his locker, and stood by his side, leaning against his own locker for support.

“Hey, sorry about that. Seriously, are you okay? You look…tired.” He quipped, worry and sympathy evident in his eyes as he looked up at Seonghwa. Seonghwa shut the door of his locker and turned to his friend. San could not help but gasp. Seonghwa’s bloodshot eyes that were usually full of life, his unkempt hair that was always gelled up neatly, and his creased uniform that was always nicely ironed and groomed shocked San beyond words. Seonghwa only rolled his eyes before leaning into his friend’s ear.

“I need to talk to you. Follow me.” Without the chance to even question the latter’s actions, San felt himself being dragged by the arm like a ragged doll in the direction of the Science block. The two of them must have looked like utter maniacs, because numerous confused and distasteful stares were directed towards them and San was, without a doubt, mortified.

The road of embarrassment was not long before the duo had finally reached solitude at the school’s most secluded area. Seonghwa released his strong grip and maintained eye contact with his two feet. Not only was Seonghwa utterly terrified as he was about to tell San about what he read yesterday, but he was also seething with rage. 

He was completely certain that San was the one who inserted the letter in his locker.

“Read this.” Seonghwa muttered under his breath, shoving the crumpled letter in San’s direction. The poor puzzled boy was full of questions, but decided to comply to Seonghwa’s statement, lips sealed shut. He reached out and grabbed the white piece of paper with shaky hands. The boy unfolded it gently, breath hitching after catching a glimpse of Jung Wooyoung’s name. San read the letter word for word, internalising every detail and absorbing every event that the letter contained. As he got to the end, San could barely form a coherent sentence. Heck, even his thoughts were jumbled all over the place. 

“It was you, wasn’t it?” Seonghwa questioned in a low voice. He was now sitting on the stone pavement, legs to his chest and his upper body curled up into a ball. 

“What did I do?” At that moment in time Seonghwa felt  pure fiery surge through his veins. 

“Don’t fucking lie to me, Choi San. I know it was you. You inserted the letter that Wooyoung wrote for me into my locker because you were fucking in love with him, you piece of shit! You wanted to make others suffer because the pain you were feeling alone apparently wasn’t enough! You’re nothing but a selfish faggot!” Seonghwa blurted out uncontrollably while stomping towards San. As he began to close the distance between them, San grabbed the collar of Seonghwa’s uniform and bore his gaze into his angry one. 

“You shut your god damn mouth, Park Seonghwa. I didn’t even know about this pathetic piece of paper until you showed it to me and fucking interrogated me about it. Cut the crap Seonghwa, the only selfish one is you.” San managed to get out through his gritted teeth before letting go of the latter’s collar and walking away with his backpack swung across his right shoulder.

_______________________________________________

Dear Choi San, 

Hey buddy! It’s me Wooyoung! If you are reading this, congrats! You are the second person to receive a letter from me. All of this may seem absurd and out of the blue, but I assure your this letter will explain everything.

Do you remember that one song by Coldplay? I don’t know if you do San ( you were the one who made me listen to it ), but I do. Very clearly. I listen to it everyday! I even saved it in my playlist!

Well, in case the title slipped your mind, the song is Yellow by Coldplay! A beautiful and heartwarming song I must say. You may be wondering, why is this boy writing a letter to tell his best friend about a song? To answer your burning question, this song plays an integral part in this letter.

So let me begin.

“What the fuck.” San mumbled as he held his letter in his hands. The boy had found this piece of paper slot neatly in between the pages of the Chemistry textbook that he was holding earlier, and was now seated on a closed toilet seat in the bathroom reading it like an idiot.

Choi San. Choi fucking San. You, were my best friend. You were my pillar of support, my safe space and my other half. What would I have done without you? Even after the whole “Drug Dumpster” incident, you were still nice to me. You never cared how others through about you for hanging out with the strange new kid and you always invited me over for dinner after school.

You made me feel belonged, special, loved and treasured. I could never thank you enough.

But what the fuck happened after that party at Yunho’s house?

At this juncture, San was already sobbing uncontrollably. The slight mention of Wooyoung’s name was already enough to make his heart ache, but the letter that contained traces of Wooyoung’s presence and existence was doing a superb job at tearing and smashing his soul apart into smithereens. Nevertheless, San blinked his tears away and kept reading on.

But he could not help but to remember the painful events that were vividly described in his letter.

“San, Wooyoung! You guys are here! Make yourselves at home!” Yunho said brightly, opening the door to let the duo in.

“That is the last thing I want to do, Jeong. This place is a madhouse!” San chuckled jokingly, causing Wooyoung to let out a laugh and Yunho to scratch his neck sheepishly. San was correct. Yunho’s three storey bungalow that was once beautifully decorated with abstract paintings, clean furniture and neatly arranged vases had turned into a club for a crowd of unhinged high school students who were barely holding on. Loud music was blasted from the speakers, some were dancing wildly in the spacious living room and the poolside and some were getting high in the kitchen. Empty pizza boxes were left on the floor and snack bowls were already overturned.

To an ordinary human being, such a scene will be easily compared to a pigsty. But for the inexperienced party animal, also known as Jung Wooyoung, the boy was fascinated. Sneaking out was definitely worth it, and he awaited to see what the night had installed for him.

“Let’s go get drinks!” San grabbed Wooyoung’s hand and led him to the kitchen. After making past the group of boys who were getting intoxicated and another group busy playing beer pong, San poured Wooyoung a cup of beer.

Wooyoung hesitated a little before reaching for the cup.

“Hold on, you never had beer before? Not even a sip?” San snickered, causing Wooyoung to hide his face behind the beer cup.

“Isn’t it illegal? We’re underaged, San.” Wooyoung quipped and San rolled his eyes in response.

“Shut up, you goody-two shoes. We do shit different here, and I say fuck the rules! Now drink. Consider this as your coming of age moment!“ San exclaimed before chugging his drink. Wooyoung smiled a little and followed. The bitterness of the beverage burned Wooyoung’s throat, followed by the sourness that cause his face to contort in response.

“You like it?“ San asked expectedly.

“Fuck yeah.” Wooyoung responded before pouring himself another cup. San chuckled at his friend and smiled adoringly at him. The two continued to drink, dance and shout over the loud music. They soon joined everyone outside near the pool, where they met with the rest of the group.

“Congrats on attending your first party and drinking your first beer!” Hongjoong exclaimed, jumping up and down. Wooyoung laughed at his clearly drunk state.

“Thank you for coming Wooyoung. Really. Seonghwa was a sulky mean bitch the whole time, but you made my night.” Yunho said, patting his friend on the shoulder. Wooyoung’s smile diminished slightly after the mention of Seonghwa’s name, but was soon lighted up again when someone brought more alcohol.

“I’m going to go get more drinks. You guys coming?” The bunch chuckled at Wooyoung’s ecstatic demeanour before following behind him.

The party went on into the wee hours of the morning. Even at two in the morning, barely anyone had left. The only things that left were Wooyoung’s sobriety and San’s inability to control his hyperactivity. The two were a giggly mess and even after entering the empty guest room, they could not stop laughing at each other.

“When I graduate, I’m going to fly to the moon!” San exclaimed as he flopped onto the bed.

“That’s so lame! When I graduate, I’m going to travel to the North Pole and South Pole and place a slice of bread on both poles respectively.” Wooyoung announced before lying on the bed right beside San.

“What is the damn purpose of that?” San asked skeptically.

“To make a giant sandwich. Duh!” Wooyoung remarked, sending both of them into a fit of loud laughter.

“That’s actually a better idea! I’ll join you.” San replied and Wooyoung nodded.

Silence was evident between the two after that. They lay beside each other, enjoying the soft muffled blast of music behind the closed door that calmed their rapidly beating hearts. San turned his head to his side and came eye to eye with Wooyoung’s side profile. Calling Wooyoung attractive was an understatement. In San’s eyes, nothing could ever compare to his friend. He was an utterly breathtaking boy with a heart of gold, a heart-melting smile and a personality like no other.

Wooyoung was perfect.

San’s eyes trailed down Wooyoung’s face. He took in his beautifully shaped fox eyes, well-sculpted nose and plump lips that were screaming to be kissed.

The boy beside San felt San’s gaze burning into him and he turned to face his friend. Wooyoung felt heat rush to his face as he tried to maintain eye-contact with San.

“Can I kiss you?” San asked softly, his gaze jumping between Wooyoung’s eyes and lips. 

No words were exchanged before San felt Wooyoung’s lips on his.

You see Choi San, the kiss that night was magical. That entire night, was magical.

I thought I had found my purpose to be happy and to live. My purpose and source of happiness was you.

But as we all know, life is a fucking bitch.

The happiness was short-lived because as soon as I walked onto the school campus, all eyes were on me, for the second fucking time.

Deja fucking vu.

I was not aware of the reason behind the stares I was getting but the moment I reached my locker, everything fell into its place.

Jung Wooyoung is a faggot.

Those words were spray painted across my locker in bright red, and as if the whole incident could not get any worse, a picture of me kissing a half-naked was pasted on the door of my locker.

But I was not just kissing any boy. I was kissing you, Choi San.

Things on that night of the party must have gotten really heated, escalating to us having to discard our shirts to the floor and envelop ourselves in each other’s limbs, lips still attached.

From what I heard from Hongjoong, not only was that picture plastered on my locker publicly for everyone to see, but someone had sent that picture to every student in the whole school.

What a lovely digital souvenir.

I tried to find you, but you avoided me throughout the entire school day. It was only until after the last bell had rang and after everyone had left the school campus that I found you alone in the art room.

I tried to talk to you, to ask you how you were holding up and to ask if we were still friends.

Or if we had more than that, despite the picture being circulated around.

But you told me to fuck off, and I still remember the rage in your eyes.

You continued to argue about how one picture could destroy a person’s life. You told me that I probably did not know how that felt because I was a good-for-nothing attention seeker who was already messed up enough.

But I knew, San. I knew how much a picture could do. I knew that a picture could make someone lose a job, a scholarship, a friendship and even a life.

I understood that you would be angry, so I let your take your anger out on me. Besides, I dragged you into this mess. If I had said no and not kissed you, maybe all this would not have happened.

Maybe I would still be alive.

“Fuck.” San whispered to himself, his voice quivering as tears began to cascade uncontrollably down his face.

But everything happens for a reason, and all of this was probably for the better. We stopped hanging out to avoid being publicly shamed and I stopped coming over so that your mother would not have to worry about cooking dinner for me.

Even though we distanced ourselves, I still listened to that one song by Coldplay. It was the song that kept me going and it always made me feel that you were still around me.

However, that spark apparently could not last forever.

So thank you, San. Thank you for being my best friend, my second home and the brightest component of my life. Thank you for treating me with respect and love. Thank you for breaking me out of my shell, and thank you for being there when nobody else was.

Thank you for being my first kiss. Thank you for being the second reason to wipe my physical existence off this planet.

Lots of love,

Jung Wooyoung

San never made it to his classes that day. He walked back home to his room and proceeded to cry himself to sleep.

[luvchaes]

7 reasons why it happened

genre: angst, some fluff, broken friendships, incidents of betrayal

pairing:ot8 highschool student! ateez

summary: it has been 5 months since jung wooyoung jumped to his death. while the whole school still seems to be mourning his sudden death, 7 boys each receive a mysterious letter containing written contents related to the boy’s death. as all of them read their own letters, they slowly discover their seemingly unharmful actions may result in unpredictable hostile situations.

warnings: mentions of suicide, quite a large amount of swearing, underaged drinking, smoking, substance abuse and violence.

note: the plot of this story is inspired by 13 reasons why (which y’all should totally watch) and the words in bold are texts from the letters and words in bold italic are flashbacks

note (2): the show 13 reasons why contains very disturbing topics such as SH, SA, violence, substance abuse, rape, and quite gory in some scenes where blood is explicitly shown. please don’t watch the show if you are easily triggered by such topics!

chapters:

[ch1] [ch2] [ch3]

[luvchaes]

7 reasons why it happened

genre: angst, some fluff, broken friendships, incidents of betrayal

pairing:ot8 highschool student! ateez

summary: it has been 5 months since jung wooyoung jumped to his death. while the whole school still seems to be mourning his sudden death, 7 boys each receive a mysterious letter containing written contents related to the boy’s death. as all of them read their own letters, they slowly discover their seemingly unharmful actions may result in unpredictable hostile situations.

warnings: mentions of suicide, quite a large amount of swearing, underaged drinking, smoking, substance abuse and violence.

note: the plot of this story is inspired by 13 reasons why (which y’all should totally watch) and the words in bold are texts from the letters and words in bold italic are flashbacks&lt;3

note (2): the show 13 reasons why contains very disturbing topics such as SH, SA, violence, substance abuse, rape, and quite gory in some scenes where blood is explicitly shown. please don’t watch the show if you are easily triggered by such topics!

“Remember, you’re not alone. Our counsellor, Ms Park, is always available to talk to. Always be alert of any signs of depression and make sure to tell a teacher or a responsible adult. At Sliveta High School, we will not tolerate any bullying of any form and we will always remember and mourn the loss of one of our treasured students, Jung Wooyoung.” Soft lifeless claps were emitted before the students started to make their way to their first morning class.

“Shit’s fucking messed up.” Seonghwa muttered under his breath.

“Good to know that you’ve finally got a pair of eyes to notice that. Shit had gotten messy since the beginning.” Hongjoong responded to the boy’s statement, rolling his eyes. As the two made their way down the long crowded hallway, they could not help to notice a large group of students gathered in front of the school’s trophy cabinet. Whispers were heard along with the loud clicks of the cameras.

“It’s a fucking memorial, not a tourist attraction!” Hongjoong grumbled, annoyance evident in his eyes as he witnessed students from all levels trying to snap a picture of the small memorial dedicated to Wooyoung.

“Can’t blame them, can we? The student council could’ve put it somewhere else more discreet, right Mr President?” Seonghwa replied in a snarky manner.

“Jesus, it wasn’t even my idea! Whatever, I’m leaving. See you in English.” Upon uttering that last sentence, Hongjoong stomped away, leaving Seonghwa all alone.

The bell had went off a while ago, and Seonghwa was the only one left standing in the now empty hallway. He swiftly opened his locker, grabbed his Chemistry textbook, and shoved the locker door close. As he did that, he saw a white envelope flutter to the ground. Seonghwa bent down and picked it up. Strangely enough, his name and address were neatly written on it, so why would it even be delivered to his locker instead of his own house?

Curiosity was beginning to get the best of him and he hurriedly tore the envelope open. Just as he was about to read the letter that was placed snuggly in the envelope, he heard a booming voice call his name.

“Mr Park, off to class! You’re late.” Mr Lee, the discipline master instructed Seonghwa. Seonghwa glanced at the letter one more time before shoving it into his back pocket frantically.

“Yes sir.”

——————————————————————————

Dear Park Seonghwa,

Hey, it’s Wooyoung. Jung Wooyoung. If you’re reading this, it means you are the first person to get this letter. I know this may seem out of the blue and a little strange, but I promise you that this letter will explain everything.

“What in the actual fuck.” Indeed, the senior was confused, shocked and scared. With shaky hands, he held up the letter closer to his eyes and continued to read.

You know how everyone says life is short and you should treasure it. Well, I wholeheartedly agree and I tried to treasure my existence on this planet. Keyword, tried. Life at Stilveta was…torturous, to be extremely frank. However, you made it a little bit better for me. You were so nice to me on my first day. I remember being lost and you helped me find the Chemistry Lab. You even offered to hang out with you and your friend group, which honestly, was the best thing a lonely new kid could ask for. You were the most friendly and kind person I had have ever met that day.

So thank you. But that is not what this letter is about.

As much as I loved to believe that nice people actually existed, I could not help but to have my doubts. You, Park Seonghwa, was nice to almost everyone. Campus sweetheart, basketball captain, school heartthrob etc. You were all that. The amazing, one and only, Park Seonghwa.

I get it. You had an image to keep.

But I never knew you would go to such an extent and throw someone under the bus.

At that moment, Seonghwa felt time stop. His room started spinning, cold sweat trickled down his forehead and his breath started to quicken. His heart pounded against his chest and it felt as if Seonghwa was about to pass out onto the ground.

He knew what Wooyoung was referring to, all too well.

“Seonghwa, what in the actual fuck is this?” Wooyoung was immediately shushed by the taller male’s hand that covered his mouth.

“Not here Woo. Science block. Now.” Seonghwa whispered before dragging Wooyoung by the forearm all the way to the Science building, the most secluded part of the school campus. Wooyoung could feel shock course through his veins as he still could not believe his eyes that Seonghwa, Stilveta’s “all-star student and nice guy”, had weed in his possession.

Seonghwa was bombarded with numerous questions from the latter and he could not help but to just remain silent. Achieving academic success all the time in order to uphold his reputation was extremely difficult. Nothing ever truly helped him relax except getting high. It was detrimental to his health, but Seonghwa had no choice.

“Do me a favour and keep it with you for now. Return it to me after school. We’re friends, right? Friends do things for each other!”

“But not this, Hwa! You need to tell someone! Please, Seonghwa! This is not healthy.” Wooyoung tried to reason with the desperate male who was on the verge of tears.

“Please fucking hide them Wooyoung. I can’t let anyone find out, not even Hongjoong or San. Please!” As much as it pained Wooyoung to see his friend so utterly anxious, he had to stay true to his own values. Seonghwa was a friend. Indeed, friends help each other, but it was time for Seonghwa to fix this problem on his own.

“I’m sorry Seonghwa. I won’t tell the teacher, I promise.” Wooyoung uttered out before walking away, leaving the taller male crouching on the ground, tears cascading down his cheeks.

Maybe if I had covered up the truth for you, things would have turned out to be completely different. But I did that because I cared about you, Hwa. You needed serious help. Not from me, not from Hongjoong, not from Mr Lee. A professional. A therapist.

It was obvious you did not see it that way.

Your feeling of betrayal was completely understandable. Everyone has always been at your service to help you with the everything, even the most bizarre matters.

Your feelings spiralled out of control, and you decided to let it out on me.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered.

“Sorry to disturb your class, my dearest students. It seems that a student in this class is in possession of drugs. We will conduct a bag check right this moment.” Mr Lee announced. The constant rustling of bags, thumps of books being poured out of their containment and quick firm footsteps filled up the once quiet room.

Seonghwa and Wooyoung shared that one particular class, World History. What confused Wooyoung the most was after one of the teachers went through Seonghwa’s bag, she simply put it down and walked away calmly. Wooyoung was sure he saw the drugs. The two of them had an episode just half an hour ago.

The boy was so caught up in his thoughts that he did not detect his bag being scoured through. He was snapped out of them when Mr Lee banged his table, causing Wooyoung to jolt in response.

“Young man, may I know what is this?” Wooyoung’s eyes widened in utter shock. He glanced to the other students in the classroom. All eyes were on him, mostly confused while a few students snickered at the poor boy. It was when Wooyoung caught Seonghwa’s eyes. They were cold and emotionless, but if he were to look closer, they withheld a look of victory and smugness, subtly bringing across a message along the lines of “I told you so.”

Wooyoung’s gaze travelled back to Mr Lee’s palm. He was doubtful at first and thought Mr Lee was simply referring to the miniature pen knife that Wooyoung carried around in the front pocket of his bag for self-defense purposes.

Wooyoung was proven wrong. In Mr Lee’s palm, weed was present. A huge plastic bag of weed.

——————————————————————————

Park Seonghwa, you are indeed a smart cookie. I’m surprised the drug did not mess up your brain yet. ( sorry I thought that was hilarious ) As you hoped, Mr Lee and the headmaster did not believe me. Why would they anyway? I was the new shy kid who obtained average grades in all my classes. I had no reputation before, but after that incident, everyone called me the “Drug Dispenser”. They could have been more creative with the nickname, I have to admit, but man, it still hurt. It hurt even more when you did not even try to defend me in the principal’s office and in the hallways. I thought friends helped each other Seonghwa. I never snitched about you snorting weed, but you fucking threw me under the bus.

You were absolutely merciless, Park Seonghwa.

But I began to forgive you. You seemed to forget about the incident anyway. Even though you started to ignore me from then on, I still treasure our friendship.

So I thank you once again. Thank you for being my first friend at Stilveta High. Thank you for tolerating my clumsiness. Thank you for always tutoring me in World History that I managed to barely pass.

Thank you for being the first reason for me to wipe my existence off this world. Thank you for being the first reason for me to die.

Lots of love,

Jung Wooyoung

Seonghwa got high that night. Quietly.

[luvchaes]

USERNAME CHANGE 🍒

beomgyusmullet -> luvchaes