Luvly Me @luvnmyboyz3 - Tumblr Blog

Why don't people just say they don't want to talk to instead of ignoring you 😔

Luvly Me turned 5 today!

This is dedicated to… The one who broke my heart But kept me from falling apart The one who left me alone But made sure I was never alone The one who made me cry But always the one willing to try The one who broke me down But turned my life around The one who fed me fear But made sure I knew you were always near The one who took from me til I had no more But opened my eyes to so much more The one who could never give his heart to me But the one who made me the rhythm of his heart beat The one who would never commit with me to happily ever after But the one who did everything in your power to fill my life with laughter The one who makes me anticipate the end But also lets me know that you’ll always be my friend This is dedicated to… (E93)

U used me until their was nothing left Until the beats of my heart went completely deaf To the sounds of care, concern, and love & now I sit & question the Man above Does he hear my cry does he feel my pain Or is He just like you leaving me helpless with Rain Did I mean anything to you ever? at all? Or was I just another piece a simple pawn Was my friendship and admiration all in vain Was I merely just another stain Are the memories of me etched in your in your heart Like the best of a movie you know the "Insatiable" part Will you soon forget me or think back & smile I feel like I'm traveling the long Green Mile Will you think of me when you're lonely and blue Or will I just be a bitch you once knew If I had one wish I'd take you on a stroll back down memory lane But for now I'll suffer and quietly go insane I'm losing my homie my lover my very best friend I thought we were Future and Kelly we wasn't never gonna end Everything happens for a reason is what they keep telling me But I just can't figure out a reason for losing the best part of me

I've let so many people depend on me, fake friends who called me in the wee hours of the night & I couldn't call them at 12 in the afternoon, men who used me because they sorry selves won't get up to take care of themselves & I can't even get something as simple as loyalty or the truth, people who call me last minute to be the one to keep them from looking stupid while they chase some n***a & I can't even get them to answer a phone call & whenever things are difficult for me everyone is gone so I guess that makes me the dummy. I had two people tell me I was a smart dummy and now I know what they meant all the time I was going above and beyond to be there for someone my dumb self is getting played and everyone knows it but me. It hurts because now I would rather be alone than to trust anyone else & it's sad because even though I have a lot of flaws I'm a really good person everyday is an emotional struggle for me because I fight so hard not to allow the victim mentality to take over, I pray to keep a sane mind, but I can't help but wonder why? Why me? Why do I suffer so much? Why does everyone get to use me? Why can't me & my kids not struggle? Why am I not a selfish person? Why do I care? Why do men abuse me? If God loves the world then why doesn't He love me? But like Jadakiss say "it ain't nothing personal y'all I'm just ventilating" I ain't gon let this sadness get the best of me sometimes it's just hard to handle...

So many times I was there to "catch you when you fall" But where are they now So many times I was there when no one else bothered to come around But where are they now So many times I was there when you kicked me and treated me like a clown But where are they now So many times I was there when you had nothing...I mean nothing at all But where are they now So many times I was there to be the very source of your income But where are they now I guess you moved on To be part of the "in-crowd" I guess you moved on Forgot who put you on I guess you moved on No longer needing little ole me around I guess you moved on Them dollars made you real proud I guess you moved on No more am I your punching bag I guess you moved on I should probably be glad So many times I was there for you and forgot to love me So many times I was there and you took me for granted and neglected me So many times I was there for you even though I was hurting deep down inside So many times I was there for you when others kept asking why So many times I was there for you and you played me so foul But my God I keep asking Where are they now ~E93~

I'm so afraid, my dream seems so close and so far at the same time. What if I fail, what if everything goes wrong, what if....Thank again what if everything goes right, what if this is the best decision I've ever made, what if everything falls into place, I'm so scared....

I've come to the conclusion that I'm just not the gf/ wife type. I think I just know how to be a really good friend, bc I've never been able to make a relationship work. So now I just wish I could find my true best friend....

Dear God they say you are a man Is that why I have suffered at the hand of the man Who knows not my worth nor my place on this earth Do I still receive the punishment of Eve for her lack of belief That your word is truth and she couldn't resist the fruit Of the evil yet to come oh Lord what has her actions done I am not the one who believes That in order to achieve the desires of my dreams I must fall victim to the prey & Put on my stilettos everyday And announce to the world That I am a girl No wait A woman who states That p***y is power No need to empower my being With the benefit of an intelligent Mind Just lay on my back & maybe become sell-a-bit While losing my Mind As I become worthless to the seed that believes my temple is only needed to supply his unbidden deeds As I drift off helpless unable to defend against his chastise As the tears flow What did I do to deserve this My soul dies Day after day Dear God you're a man that's what they say ~E93~

How could you hurt me like this and just walk away How could you guide me so long and lead me astray How could you treat me so bad I thought our friendship was true How could you leave me in this cold world without a clue How could you pretend so long with no regards for my feelings How could you leave me here slowly dying and bleeding How could you take away my peace of mind and drive me crazy How could you leave me in this overcast unclear and hazy How could you walk away with no explanation How could you tear my life apart there is no translation How could you hate me so much that you'd stab me so deep I guess the answer must be that you never cared for me I told you things that aren't so easy to share And you used them against me it doesn't seem fair I can't understand what makes you want me to cry I guess the last question I have is simply WHY?

My Tears

When the tears fall and no one cares When the tears fall and your heart tears When the tears fall and you wonder why When the tears fall and you can't even cry When the tears fall and you pray for comfort When the tears fall and you finally discover When the tears fall and there's nothing wrong When the tears fall and you have to be strong When the tears fall and there's no where to turn When the tears fall and you just have to learn When the tears fall and you lose your mind When the tears fall and you don't heal with time When the tears fall and you don't know what to do When the tears fall and it's only you When the tears fall and you have to scream When the tears fall in your dream When the tears fall and it hurts like a knife When the tears fall and you realize this is life When the tears fall and you have to move on When the tears fall how do you carry on? ~E93~

Well as another situation comes to an end, I'm glad to know I've learned from past experience and I gave this my all so I can move on knowing God has something better in store for me. I'm a little sad but what's done is done...

IT'S OKAY

It's not okay that you treated me this way; But it is okay for me to walk away; It's not okay that you made me cry; But it is okay for me to stop living a lie; It's not okay that you couldn't just be honest; But it is okay for me to be strong enough to be my own solace; It's not okay that you took my advantage of my love; But it is okay for me to get rid of...Your slick talking, games, and deceit; Because now I clearly understand that you're just as viral as unwanted gleet; I was a puppet in your play for far too long; I've performed my song and dance now it's time to move on; It's not okay that our friendship was just a joke to you; But 1 more thought & this is true; I still hold my head high because the joke's on you.....E93

Dudes be quick to say she's thirsty she's a stalker, but if you really don't want her why string her along why use her

How can a friendship that gave so much just not be real...this friendship was something I could always count on...no matter what happy, mad, tears, and all... it's been all I've had for so long. Somethings just are meant to be and once that season is gone you have to let go. Everything happens for a reason...they say 😢

This is definitely me....

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