Lux Coulter

Lux Coulter | Editor | Writer | Performer, French, Lesbian

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Excuse me but why is Alex Blake leaving the BAU making me cry like girly just d!ed?

[ilovehotactresses]

creaming.

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I need to voice is somewhere 😮‍💨

I rest my case.

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Watching criminal minds is literally just me shipping all the women with Emily.

*Cough cough* JJ and Alex *Cough cough*

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Who lost over 100 hours of game play on BG3 cause their computer deleted the save file?

Me.

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Captain Amelia *inspecting the ship*: Why is there an idiot in the shrouds?....

Y/n:

Amelia*realizes*: BLAST THAT'S MY IDIOT! Y/N!

[revelmix]

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Y/n: Here you go my lovely wife a nice, hot, cup of coffee!

Lorraine: Why thank you Y/n, *holds it* Although it is cold dear.

Y/n: Alright then a nice, cup of coffee.

Lorraine:*drinks it* Well dear- uhm- it could use some sugar-

Y/n: A cup of coffee.

Lorraine: Are you sure this is coffee?

Y/n:*inhale* Cup.

Lorraine: I'm not sure if you've even made anything.

Y/n:.......I'm never making you coffee again *walks away*

Lorraine: Y/n, darling! I'm sorry! It's a very nice cup!

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Lorraine: I don't know how else to tell them. I've dropped the most obvious hints it's absolutely bonkers!

Y/n: They sound stupid.

Lorraine: Not stupid, just dense. They're actually quite smart.

Y/n: Well dear you should make it more obvious, how about saying "Hey, I love you."

Lorraine: Good Idea darling. Y/n I love you.

Y/n: Yes! Just like that!

Lorraine: Oh my days-

Y/n: And if it flies over their head, I'm afraid they're just too dumb for you Lorraine.

Lorraine: *Starts praying*

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Astarion: Do you ever get pre-annoyed, like someone walks into a room and you just know they'll tick you off.

Tav: *confused* what?

Cazador: *appears*

Astarion: *Jaw Clenches*

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Lorraine: I made tea!

Y/n: I didn't want tea.

Lorraine: This isn't your tea this is my tea.

Y/n: Then why did you tell me?

Lorraine: Because it's a conversation starter dear.

Y/n: Well, Hun, that's a lousy conversation starter.

Lorraine: Darling. We're conversing. Checkmate.

Y/n: *prolonged annoyed groan*

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Y/n: I don't know how to tell you this Lorraine......but I love you..

Lorraine:....Well Y/n that's wonderful, considering the fact we've been married 11 years with a daughter.

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Ed: You prefer Y/n don't you.

Lorraine: No I don't picks favorites Ed.

Ed: Then what are you doing?

Lorraine *cutting Y/n's sandwich*: Y/n doesn't like the crusts.

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*Minthara's never been to a zoo before*

Minthara: What are they in for?

Tav: This isn't a prison

Minthara: so they can leave?

Tav: no

Minthara: Then your logic is flawed.

Gale:*points at a parrot* That one killed it's family

Tav:*sighs*

Astarion: I hear the Tigers commited tax fraud

Gale:*gasps* don't even get me started on the otters.

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Lorraine: What is Y/n doing?

Y/n:*buried in sand* I am the sand guardian, Guardian of the sand!

Judy: Poseidon quivers before her!

Y/n:*looks at the ocean* Fuck Off!

Lorraine: Y/n!

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Tav: Okay so Minthara, hypothetically

Minthara: What did you do.

Tav: Nothing! Just hypothetically speaking, if someone, no one in particular, managed to get an owl bear stuck in a tree. How would you react.

Minthara: Which tree.

Tav: The large tree next to Astarion's tent.

Owl Bear:*SQARK*

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Y/n: Why can't you tell a joke to an Egg

Lorraine: Because they don't have ears?

Drew: They're food?

Y/n: You'd crack them up.

Judy: Someone stop them.