I’ve been reading through the notes and I just have to say that I absolutely promise, promise, promise you that nobody in the dental surgery is there to judge you, and we’re certainly not mad at you. Cavities happen. Even to dentists. You think your dentist has a mouth full of virgin teeth? Unlikely! They’ve all visited eachother’s surgeries to get a quickie filling (ooh, saucy) between patients. They understand that life can get in the way of oral hygiene sometimes. They understand that life’s too short not to eat chocolate. They understand that you’ve got to live. I swear to you that everyone in that room is just there to help you. Please, please, please don’t stop going to the dentist because you’re worried they’ll be mad at you. It’s really not the case. They understand. It’s fine. It’s really, really fine. Please go to the dentist. I promise you it’s ok.
You would not believe how comforting this is.
And if your dentist DOES shame you, you have every right to leave and find a new dentist.
I recently had my first full dental cleaning in a decade. I had so much shit caked on my teeth that it took *hours.* And you know what the dentist told me? That he was impressed with how well I did for the super invasive cleaning, and that the dental team was really excited that they were helping me get a fresh start to good oral hygiene.
The hygienist even recommended me a good electric toothbrush that would specifically help me keep the spaces between my teeth clean, because I expressed that I have a hard time flossing due to disability and abnormal tooth spacing. She told me that she was excited to help me have and KEEP my fresh start, and told me several times how good it is that I came in to get some help.
Your dentist should not be there to shame you. You deserve to have compassionate, competent healthcare, full stop, and most dentists I’ve met are truly lovely people who are there to help.
This is why I needed like 5K of dental surgery and a root canal. I went to one dentist, who proceeded to ask me what I liked to drink (answer- tea, sometimes with honey) and then gave me a Look and said “well, usually teeth get like THAT from drinking a lot of soda, haha.” and both he and the dental assistant proceeded to laugh in my face. I was 19, had severe depression, and was trying to dig my way out of an emotional hole.
I didn’t get that tooth looked at for two more years. I went in for a broken cap, and ended up needing a goddamned root canal because that dentist decided to mock me for being a fat woman who needed dental work.
If your dentist acts like that, find a new one. Don’t procrastinate.
BTW, check local universities. A lot of them have student dental programs and are cheaper than going to a normal dentist, and their work is pretty damn good. Especially for routine maintenance and cleaning. I think I paid 15 dollars for a dental student to clean my teeth as part of their exist exam. Good stuff.
Community College dental programs also have significantly more affordable options, for people without insurance.
