Un-discover.

Not sure who me is some days, but Im enjoying the journey of discovery & loving what I find. Living with no titles. Just being uniquely me ... one day at a time.

[lybr3]

I miss

I miss you dearly I see other couples and it pangs me and I wish you were here even more to share a life to be whole with my wife for so many reasons I miss you I miss holding your hands I miss caring for you I miss making you breakfast (breakfast just FOR YOU) I miss your laugh grabbing you for a quick kiss being able to touch your skin feeling your caress of my back, face I miss planning my day with you in mind I loved going out walking with you holding you near me holding the door open for you working hard, knowing that my effort was for someone that I loved having purpose beyond me and my desires but you, us, OUR desires my mood fell low when you were gone because I finally knew what it meant to love a good woman no, not a good woman, the best woman MY woman. I love you. Truly. Passionately. Eternally.

[lybr3]

Always You

I want you by my side, always I want you to know me better than anyone, even my family I want to lead you to lead our family let you know that you're safe look you deep in the eyes at least 3x a day and tell you, with every piece of my soul "I love you" and to see you smile which will make me smile and just stay there even if just for a moment and let it feel like an eternity in heaven this is the love that I know that I can have with her and this is why I never settled for another because it had to be her because only she can give life give reality to these feelings only her,  yes, only you.

[lybr3]

“God made beauty”

Your words run through my head constantly on replay like a tv news banner I "read" them over and over again you think you're weird hard to be with and that maybe no one will get you shyly you admit these things a bit confused, you play with your hair my eyes taking it all in my brain processing every little movement unseen by others, but seen by me the super computer God gave us computing what all of your words actions fidgets eyes smiles head tilts lip bites hip positioning kisses caresses and more ... mean, and I think I know. and I know that I love them all. I have the outline of the picture now or at least a really good idea of what the picture is the lines are drawn and now we are coloring them in making the picture bolder more vibrant more intense more beautiful with each stroke, color and trace of the outline and when i step back, and take a look at what it is before me i notice, and feel the muscles in my face turn my mouth into a smile "Beautiful." I mouth Picasso, da Vinci, van Gogh, Michelangelo, Rembrandt, Monet or the world's most famous, talented artists could never make a piece as beautiful as this one only one man one being could create this much beauty... God. And He knows how much I thank Him for letting me have this beautiful creation in my life if I could hang it on a wall, the wall would not be worthy no, this is not something you frame, capture and admire, but sit back, revel in it's marvel, enjoy and share with the world no, this beauty, this woman sets me on fire internally and makes me want to give her the world (I feel those facial muscles pulling my mouth into a smile again, because I FINALLY know what men feel; real men, with REAL women, a GOOD woman that inspires man to do what God made man to do for woman to protect, provide, grow, love, listen, and more) my fingers beg to keep typing to keep telling her but my insecure, scared mind tells it to "Stop! You've said enough! You've risked enough!" They both want to know if I will share this with her and with nervousness, I say "Yes." We'll see what happens, all of us on pins and needles, but also excited to let her know how angelic and special she is

[lybr3]

High.

I love the way I feel with you. I love wrapping my arms around you to protecting you from the world, the way you glide through every door I open for you, how I calmly submit my strong will, & desires, to your loving rebukes, yet also take the reigns to be the leader. I love the way WE feel. I can't get enough of it. This love is more addicting than the most powerful drug And it gives me a better, purer high. A high that makes me feel invincible, happy, at peace Together I feel closer to God Like I finally understand His words & my meaning

[lybr3]

I turn on the TV. What? Wait, is Iraq burning? Syria? Libya? Some land in some place I’ve never been? No. No, that’s Charlotte. Before that it was Baltimore…Ferguson…Milwaukee…Minneappolis. Ugggh. A ‘WTF.’ comes out as a whisper. Immediately, I wanna turn it back off. Immediately, I wanna turn the whole world back off. Immediately, I am depressed, shaking my head, sad. I want to pray, but then I say “What’s the point?” It feels so overwhelming. The lies. The destruction. The hate. The anger. The corruption. The explotation. The ignorance. The bitterness. The people stuck in the past. ENOUGH. Again, 'WHAT IS THE POINT!?’ Wait, but isn’t THAT the point?! THAT is how 'they’ want me to feel. THAT is the beaten down, 'I give up.’, 'You win, just please leave me alone.’ attitude that will ensure that this misery that is gripping my homeland never ends. THAT is not, nor ever has been, me. No. I’m a fighter. A sinful righteous, good, kind man, trying to be better, & make the world better, every day. THAT is the point boy. So, buck up, stand up, speak up, and keep fighting to let people know what’s up. I must. I have never been known to quit, & I won’t start now. Not when something so precious is at stake. Not when my actions affect the treasures that I will leave to my most precious treasure, my little girl. Ugggh, dammit, ok. Fine. I’m in. Bring it liberals, progressives, radicals, anarchist, atheist, corporatist, & all you other -ist! Game on, bitches. Game. On.

[lybr3]

You were gone, again

When I think of you I see your smile and it makes things all better at least for a lil while

Been on this roller coaster we’ve been up, we’ve been down but I wouldnt erase the times when you were around I know it causes you to wonder I know you get hurt and run for cover But I want you to know I love being your lover There are times we both dont know what to say So things go so wrong and it ruins another day Sleeping all alone again replaying all the things said scrolling thru texts sent tears strolling, hitting the bed I know it causes you to wonder I know you get hurt and run for cover But I want you to know, I love being your lover So, no matter what happens next let’s not have any more regrets because when I think of you, all I feel is joy that we met

[lybr3]

Hope

When you run out of hope, borrow some from someone else. (Church)

[lybr3]

Lovers on a wild ride.

You know the feeling.. The anxiety like a knot in your stomach.. Words you don't want to say, yet you have to say. Not sure what will come next. You're getting closer, then you DROP. You're holding on for dear life. Afraid. Things moving so fast. You can barely see as things go by. You can barely even think. But you can scream, so you do. Often times inside, not to be heard by the person beside you. Up. Down. Unseen twist. Random turns. Wow, just wanting off this ride. Regretting your decision to get on this ride. Sooo much reg.... Wait, things are slowing down. I can see the end. I know the next turn. The fall isn't so big. Ok, I can do this. The worst is behind me. My mood lightens, as do my heart & body. Wow, the end is just up ahead & I can breathe. The person beside me can breathe. We look at each other. We smile. It's over. We can barely remember what just happened. Hand in my hand, we step off. Walk away. Laugh, reflecting on what just happened. "Did your heart drop on that *one* turn?!" "YEAH! What about the slooow climb up, then drop!?" On & on, we reflect on the wild ride. Love, like a rollercoaster. The momentary fears we both held passes & now we're all smiles again. Love, it's definitely a wild ride.

[lybr3]

Held in my arms

there was a time when I always saw your smile held you in my arms pulled you closer to hear you say "I love you" over & over now, we are so far and the memories of you are all I seem to have left they're always flooding my days it's been leavin' me confused, dazed I'll see you soon we'll talk, do the things you wanna do hold you in my arms and tell you again how much I love you Often talkin' out loud I wonder if the man in the cloud can hear these cries if He's looking over you today reminding you you're loved in every way One day, I still say as a tear escapes it's cage pickin' up this guitar I strum a chord, an' pick a melody something to distract an' let go the agony dont ever forget I'll see you soon we'll talk, do the things you wanna do I'll hold you in my arms telling this girl how much I love her that's what you do when you're a father

[lybr3]

Bein' cool

I've been up an' I've been down you stomped on my heart as it was on the ground John mayer said it best Im perfectly lonely or as perfect as I can be why did i expose my heart to this & that one, always the wrong one Im not sure what I should do when I see you do I pull you close or just play it coo' Do I chase another to woman to try an' ease this pain all my friends say that's real strange Yet they dont know about me dont get how my heart works the pitfalls and all its perks I can be as high as a kite no clouds as high as me your passive words cut so deep Im not sure what I should do when I see you do I pull you close or just play it coo' Do I just play it cool, or is that me being a fool Did I just sound too cool, your body makes me drool Im such a fool, Im goin' back to bein' coo'

[lybr3]

Who is good?

when i walk these streets I see sin among us weak one day of the week we try to be right for an hour let God bring his shower but do we have the power …to be good to do the right thing when you’re not looking wait, you can see me even then It seems everything fun’s a sin last night what did I do dont look down on them, I saw you last night you were bad too this aint easy, so dont judge another pain inside makes you cry for Father failing again you scream “why bother!?” …to be good to do the right thing when you’re not looking wait, you can see me even then It seems everything fun’s a sin Drop to your knees again, repent they’re bruised from all the time spent grace, we didnt earn, taken by a serpent dont give up, think of the good days somehow one day it’s ok, the past fades you'll see the gifts given to one that prays …to be good. …to do good. …who is good.

[lybr3]

My turn now

he didnt realize what he held in his hands your fingers interlocked yet he let you slip between his fingers like times sands now it's my turn to show you what you mean dance without a care this world doesnt matter when I run my fingers through your hair get lost in my arms wrapped tightly around you when the world gets cold I'll be there to be the glue I'll hold us & you did he even know what your favorite color is I know it's not pink you're not like the other girls I see your face with a long blink I said I wouldnt then I found out that I would chase you until the end pen writing all I think about you is loving you this much a sin? get lost in my arms they wrap tightly around you when the world gets to mean I'll be there to protect you I'll be there for us, for you

[lybr3]

They cant see

they can't see who it is that is hidden not too deep just beneath the surface if you were to take a peek you'd see the real me not someone who's angry but amazing, an' so loving they can't, see what it is you want to be when you imagine what you could have been in a life without pain an' sin then they'd know the real soul not someone hurt an' cold but a soul to forever hold now I can't, trust their eyes to be true to see what it is here exposed, standing right before you

[kissmeok]

[kissmeok]

love/couples

[lybr3]

I'm out.

I dont know what you want, cant figure it out I tried to be there, but all I got was blame & shout why cant you, why wont you say what you need your acts make it seem like you just want me to bleed I dont want to see tears, no not now I tried, tried so hard, but now, Im out I have my own tears, many more now cant, i tried, Lord I tried, but Im out ... now I'll never forget that day, the look, on your face in my heart, a hole, yes, there's now a missing space how hard I cried, you'd think you were something good not really, they're because i tried so hard to be someone good i dont want to see tears, no not now i tried, tried so hard, but now, Im out I have my own tears, many more now cant, i tried, Lord I tried, but Im out ... now I dont know what you want, cant figure it out and, for the first time, I dont care what you're yellin' about Im walkin' away... no more, I'm out don't call, don't cry or make promises, when I'm out

[lybr3]

Never said..

you never told me what you wanted so i guessed like some cruel game of pictionary i didnt want this to end, walk away but what do I do beg? i walk & you grab my wrist what do you want baby please just say what do you need dont waste this precious day playin' games, messin' around, just say what's to say when im in a mood no im not bein' mean just up to my eyes with being made to look like a fool i know this isnt you not what ya want but you wont say what your heart wants your body to do what do you want baby please just say what do you need why waste another day? wanna play games, mess around, ok, but Im done, I left yesterday

[lybr3]

Holdin' on

the music comes on and my feet hit the ground Im up out of bed, slowly, I take a look around It feels not bad to be alive my painful thoughts decided to stay great, this pains here ready to travel 'side me another day holdin' onto love holdin' my head high hold in the tears .... holdin' onto love sayin' thanks to above for all this love ... Im holdin' on to love