Lyds Life

I kinda have this crazy life and at the end of the day I love it for what it is.

[lyds16]

Cheers to you

342.

The number of days since I have heard you tell me you love me.  

342 days ago we spoke for the last time. I can’t remember who won that game of rabbits, I can only remember reminding you that you could live anywhere including a tent, I also remember telling you they were finally going to give me a piece of paper confirming I was forever a buckeye. 

332.

The number of days since anyone has heard you ask “what’s happenin’ ?”

This year we learned to be your voice for ourselves. That we had to be the “I think I can” in our own heads, that we had to remember life is fleeting and always has the unexpected. 

Life is really scary, if we let it be. You were never one to not take a chance because it might be scary. In your late 50′s you changed your whole world and went to be a “ski bum”. 

Sometimes I am just living life and I can swear you are with me. Maybe I am cooking dinner sometimes I am driving home from work, you were defiantly with all of us as we went down a mountain of ice. I hope that what comes next is peace and getting to be a calming presence in the lives of those we love as they figure out life. 

[lyds16]

Don't you realize that letting you in wasn't an easy thing for me to do. When I meet I new person or reevaluate a relationship with an old friend I instantly put my guard up. Letting people in is just not something i'm good at. I fight with my words and act like a bitch. I decided to let you in, into my head, my heart, and my world and you don't get what that means. 

[lyds16]

Never a lady

This summer the world I knew turned upside-down. My favorite person died. I fell in love. I found out my best friends mom's cancer was no longer in remission. My world has been ever changing for the last three months and I don't know how i'm doing.

When my Grandfather died I thought my whole would fall apart. I talked with the people close to me about what I would do when the time came and I always figured I would be an inconsolable mess. I figured I wouldn't be able to get out of bed, I would stay curled up in a ball for weeks maybe months even and nothing would make it better. Then it happened. 

When I heard the news about his passing the world didn't slip through my fingers, my life didn't stop, I didn't even really lose it. I kept my shit together and held on because for my whole life, when something went wrong I went to him, so now I used the strength he gave me I held my head up and honored him with all he taught me. I don't hold my head up everyday and lots of days just continuing to breath is a days goal. Now I live everyday wishing to catch a whiff of him or feel his spirit hold me. 

I got through it all because of a man. A man whom I thought was the man of them all. A little girl first loves her father, I had a father who set a high standard for how I should be treated and a grandfather who set an even higher one. This man hit all his marks. He didn't dote over me and give me a false sense of self confidence. When my world seemed like it was crumbling around me he gave me a safe place to go and think. 

I fell head over heals for the man who kept me from falling all the way down. Then I realized I was more invested and I was a million and one percent in a relationship he said he didn't want. He said he didn't but acted as if he was in it too. I fell deep and hard, I opened up and let him in to a place I close off to so many. When I realized we either needed to be on the same page or be done I let myself fall. 

Some minutes I stand still others I jump off of a thousand foot cliff. The world is spinning and falling and crumbling all at the same time. 

[lyds16]

I don't know how this is going to work; I don't even know if it is going to work. I do know that if we don't try we will always regret it. If you had asked me I would have never put us together but now I don't know why. We are so in sync with each other and It makes me smile all day. 

[lyds16]

If you're happy i'm happy for you....

Just because I am happy for you does not mean I am happy in the general sense of the term. Not knowing if you are really happy is something that hurts, I never want you to be unhappy. You treated me like dirt and I still haven't walked away so you should never doubt if I wish happiness for you. I didn't fall for you so hard for any other reason than that you are an incredible person. You make mistakes and you make me scream with anger, but you care so deeply for those who you love. Those who are loved by you will never want as you would do anything you could for them. 

I'm not walking away, I will be here for the good and the bad, I will hold your hand and pick you back up. I will yell at you when you do something stupid and then help you fix it. I will always want you to be happy.

[lolthatsme]

[josephmorgan-originals]

[lyds16]

Grief is the hardest of all. Grief comes at your from every direction, it can consume you. Anger of loss. Pain as if you have had a piece of you ripped right out, without even knowing. Grief is sudden. Grief is love. 

When grief hits you lose your breath, you collapse, you just want to give up. 

Grief life's little wake up call. Life's way of saying you are human, you feel. 

If you are like me, when you find something you want to care about, you put your whole self into caring. At times this means you have love flowing from a million directions, at other times this means you have your whole self crumpled. 

[lyds16]

I have been blessed in life with an amazing family! The hardest part is missing out on huge parts of their lives, I want with everything I have to be in a million places right now. I want to be here in Columbus so I can enjoy college but I also want to be with my baby sister Emily while she goes through the most amazing journey of becoming the amazing mom I know she will be, I also want to be with Luke, my nephew who I love with my whole heart, and watch him grow, I want to be in colorado with my big brother Fred living life, and in Florida with my partner in crime Leah. My big sister Ally is also moving on to some amazing new opportunities I wish I could be with her for! And that is just the start of the places I wish I could be all at one time.

All of these people are giving me such an amazing life and they are all so far away that it breaks my heart every day that we are all so far apart.

[groggytata]

[lyds16]

I'm a Democrat, and a christian. I believe in equal rights, abortion, global climate change and separation of church and state. Just because I am a christian does not mean that I believe that being a homosexual is a sin or even a choice you make. If a person is born homosexual that is who they are they can try and hide it to fit into society like older women dye there hair to look younger but being homosexual isn't a choice any more than women have the choice to not go grey. I believe that if you love someone, no matter who they are, you have the right to tell the world without fear of ridicule or persecution. America was founded on the belief of religious freedom so I guess we have to start a new country founded on the belief of sexual freedom just so people can love and marry any one they want. As a christian in a small town I was told by those in the community that abortion was wrong. It was killing and innocent life. While having an abortion is not always the right decision for everyone it is something that women need to have available. You have the rights you have as an American citizen because you were either born here, you were born to parents who are citizens or you became a naturalized citizen. As a fetus you don't fit any of these qualifications so why should you have a list of rights we don't even give to some people who are citizens. As an American I went to school and learned about the founding of this country. In the first amendment of the constitution of THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA it states that the government shall make no laws respecting the establishment of a religion. This is separation of church and state. The concept has become so foreign to us that i'm not even sure some U.S. citizens remember it is part of the constitution our founding fathers fought so hard to create.

[whatshouldwecallme]

When my friend tries to read into every little thing a guy says to her

I’m like,

[lyds16]

omg YES

[bigbangtheory-fan-blog]

[lyds16]

Happy Holidays from The Big Bang Theory!

[tastefullyoffensive]

Honest Slogans [more] Related: Sites Renamed for the Reason Why We Visit Them

[lyds16]

So true and awesome! 

[ivegotablackpen]

[kissmeok]

♡Love/Couples♡

[lyds16]

This life or the next

     While it does not look like we will end up together in this life. I know that we are those people who were meant to be in each others lives, you and I we are friends in every dimension, reality and reincarnation. In this life we are lovers who didn't know how to make it work but couldn't stay out of each others lives. 

       I don't know if we are together as friends in other places or if in one of our other lifetimes we will get our shit together and make it work.

     Our souls are connected, you are so a part of me I can't explain. I know we are connected because we can not stay apart.

[arollingstone4]