my entire life is just a test to see if i’ll commit suicide or homicide first

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my entire life is just a test to see if i’ll commit suicide or homicide first
why do i constantly self sabotage
My younger self would be so disappointed that we’re still here
one day, i am gonna grow wings (death)
mood
I know my life will end in suicide. I'm sure of it.
i dont want to know you again. i just want to hear you say sorry.
every year i reach new lows and wish i killed myself earlier
i'm stupid, sadistic & suicidal (and really fucking sad)
(edit to everyone saying this could've been worded better tbh I agree, after rereading I realized this didn't exactly come off as I wanted it to, you can stop telling me that now. yeah I'm stupid and you get badly worded angry word salad. what'd you expect, a prize winning essay? /lh kinda. but like you fucking get my point ok I didn't ask to be judged on my literacy skills)
MENTAL ILLNESS IS AN EXCUSE!!! (sometimes)
(Guys I said SOMETIMES it obviously doesn't excuse abuse)
Motherfuckers be offended when the mentally ill person acts actually mentally ill. If they could act "correct" they wouldn't be mentally ill you fucking asshole. Mental illness isn't a choice. Mental illness symptoms aren't a choice. Displaying mental illness symptoms, harmful or not, isn't a choice.
Disordered people act disordered, surprise bitch!
If someone without legs asked you to get them a glass of water, would you call them "manipulative" and "lazy" and accuse them of taking advantage of you to get them drinks? Would you tell them to "just walk"? (and I know some people genuinely would do this... I have no words for them)
No the NPD person can't just "not be less arrogant". BPD can't just "be normal". ASPD can't just "be nicer" or "learn to feel empathy". HPD can't just "stop making it about themselves." etc.
You're mixing genuinely mentally ill people up w/ "quirky" people that choose their "symptoms". It's not a choice. So stop expecting disordered people to just "be normal" or "keep it to themselves".
Disorders ARE an excuse for disordered behavior.
what do you mean i have to keep going? what the fuck
Sorry for having symptoms of a mental illness I literally told you I have it will happen again