Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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@m0tiveforce
#m0tiveforce. a multimuse by vanto. iconless, low maintenance, sci - fi &. cyberpunk focused ft. destiny, deus ex, mass effect &. more. roster under the cut.
basics: 21+, don't be a bigot, ask me about my muses. follows back from @/tyrran. check my rules there for further info.
MASS EFFECT 2 ↳ Legion in 'The Reaper IFF'
'something is on your mind. what is it?', to gman.
there is little room for comfort these days, or at least for the kind that doesn't bear the form of a battle won after the enactment of swift and decisive strategic action. far too much has changed and far too much will change still, and through it all the lord commander must tread a relentless path, wholly unobstructed by his own lingering inadequacy. because for all his resolve, whenever his temper flares and his passions slip past the steely chokehold he keeps them in, guilliman's mind returns its focus to the weariness that eats at him. it shouldn't be so tempting to wish to wallow in it and it would be a categorical waste of time.
there is, indeed, little room for comfort. that's why it surprises even the primarch that @zaratustran (as greyfax) is able to elicit but a twitch of guilliman's cheek. it's her brazen manner, coupled with her steadfast spirit, that reminds him of the now - long thiel. bearing him all due respect, greyfax still speaks to him as though he were a mere man.
equivalent exchange of informality, perhaps. he does, after all, call her 'katarinya', and there are few he graces with a first - name address.
" were it just something, " comes an attempt at clipped humour, but in this among very few things, guilliman fails. instead, to his ears, it rings like an undue complaint and those are best either kept quiet or meditated upon, turned into something useful. he turns away from the stained glass window, accompanied by a quiet hiss of his armour. " i find myself thinking about our current circumstances on occasion. " my circumstances, or so he would have admitted had he been anyone else. " that's all. my focus isn't far behind. "
from my old multi, yeehaw.
on malocator j. harrow, during the defense of atoma prime against admonition and the moebian 6th regiment, seen with the branx mk vi shock maul and suppression shield.
with the exception of his immediate superiors and relevant personnel, very few people can claim to know anything personal about the malocator. his only link to his past life is his last name, denoting him as a highborn of necromunda's house harrow, but even still that means nothing to him or anyone. in addition to a sharp and curt personality, jerican is as cold and dour as the precinct of hive tertium he was assigned to that of the torrent but is utterly relentless in his pursuit of criminals and lexbreakers. his application of the lex, however, is hardly as rigid as that of his peers: he knows it's not perfect, even highly inefficient at times, but it's the best they've all got. he's rarely ever seen without his malocator visor, and it's for good reason. a closer inspection (that he'll never allow) will reveal his visor is a life - supporting augmetic, having replaced his actual face after being shot in the face, and connected to an artificial respiratory system. jerican knows he's an expensive asset and thinks of himself as such, seeing himself as a tool of the imperium and nothing else. it's a tough way to live, being robbed of most senses and the conventional way of experiencing them, but at the very least there's one thing he doesn't have to worry about: pretending. the augmetic visor is his one and only face, and one he can't and won't hide behind pretense and emotion.
misc poetry sentence starters
❝ one gets so used to one’s own horrors, one forgets how they must seem to other people. ❞ ❝ you remind me what love lives in this skin. ❞ ❝ you are the most phantom-like of all; you are a mere dream. ❞ ❝ i’m not telling you a story so much as a shipwreck—the places floating, finally legible. ❞ ❝ the world was made so we can find each other in it. ❞ ❝ the night isn’t dark; the world is dark. stay with me a little longer. ❞ ❝ i want you desperately. i want your strength and your softness, your hands, all of you. ❞ ❝ is that too much to expect? that i would name the stars for you? ❞ ❝ against your cheek my hand is warm and full of tenderness. ❞ ❝ the world grows green again when you smile. ❞ ❝ your share of pains would fill a sea. ❞ ❝ i’m so stuck on the ‘was’ of people. ❞ ❝ what i love in you is your power of loving, a bit wild, a bit primitive, but absolute. ❞ ❝ i like figuring you out. you are so human and puzzling. ❞ ❝ the unwillingness to try is worse than any failure. ❞ ❝ you wanted happiness. i can’t blame you for that. ❞ ❝ i did violence to my own heart. ❞ ❝ i don’t know how to stay tender with this much blood in my mouth. ❞ ❝ like a magpie, i am a scavenger of shiny things: fairy tales and dead languages. ❞ ❝ and here you come with a shield for a heart and a sword for a tongue. ❞ ❝ you kiss the back of my legs and i want to cry. only the sun has come this close, only the sun. ❞ ❝ sometimes being offered tenderness feels like the very proof you’ve been ruined. ❞ ❝ when will it cease, this monstrous rage of yours? ❞ ❝ i will plant my hands in the garden. i will grow, i know, i know. ❞ ❝ i had it all and i want it back again. ❞ ❝ i don’t care about anyone, and the feeling is quite obviously mutual. ❞ ❝ we are two reflections that cross swords with each other. ❞ ❝ as for me, i am a watercolour. i wash off. ❞ ❝ do you dare send me away as though you were were waiting for something better? ❞ ❝ my dear, you are in danger of being burned by your own flame. ❞ ❝ i am three oceans away from my soul. ❞ ❝ you, occasionally, glimmer with a light i’ve never seen before. it frightens me. ❞ ❝ i went to sleep last night so i could see you. ❞ ❝ even the eyes of gods must adjust to light. even gods have gods. ❞ ❝ how much can you change and get away with it, before you turn into someone else, before it’s some kind of murder? ❞ ❝ it does me no good to be good to me now. ❞ ❝ i may look alright, but if you were to look more closely you wouldn’t find a single healthy bit in me. ❞ ❝ i must clothe myself in other worlds. ❞ ❝ suffering is the privilege of those who feel. ❞ ❝ sorry about the blood in your mouth. i wish it was mine. ❞ ❝ the vigor, the fire, that enables you to love and create. when you lose that, you’ve lost everything. ❞ ❝ i can be bold, because i have you with me always. ❞ ❝ you are shaking fists and trembling teeth. i know: you did not mean to be cruel. that does not mean you were kind. ❞ ❝ not that i want to be a god or a hero, just to change into a tree, grow for ages, not hurt anyone. ❞ ❝ i laughed today. for a second i was unhaunted. ❞ ❝ you are sunlight through a window, which i stand in, warmed. ❞ ❝ there’s something electric in your blood. ❞ ❝ you say you are broken, but broken mirrors like you create the most beautiful patterns of light. ❞ ❝ time doesn’t obey our commands. ❞ ❝ i love you quite passionately, and with a touch of tragedy. ❞ ❝ to feel anything deranges you. to be seen feeling anything strips you naked. ❞ ❝ i love you — like a storm bursts overhead — i must confess it; all the more fiercely because you burn and bite. ❞ ❝ and i have seen rivers, not unlike you, that failed to find their way back. ❞ ❝ i am less a god now that you’ve touched me. ❞ ❝ your words are gentle; but my blood runs cold to think what plots you may be nursing deep within your heart. ❞ ❝ you said i killed you — haunt me then. ❞ ❝ your soul is frail and solemn, loyal and spring-like. ❞ ❝ you look like you’ve eaten the sun, like you drank so much sunlight you’re drowning in it. ❞ ❝ strangeness is a necessary ingredient in beauty. ❞ ❝ you will hear thunder and remember me. ❞ ❝ ever think it’s possible for us to be happy? ❞ ❝ and i would wonder across all the deserts of this world, even after death, to search for you. ❞ ❝ since we’re bound to be something, why not together? ❞ ❝ i am ashes were once i was fire. ❞ ❝ this mouth will destroy you the moment you mistake it for something soft, for something that is yours. ❞ ❝ it’s no easy thing to bear, the weight of sweetness. ❞ ❝ kill the light! i’d rather wallow in the dark. ❞ ❝ i have thought of you often since the darkness. ❞ ❝ with your presence the sun becomes irrelevant. ❞ ❝ there is no god left in this skin. there’s just the ash. just the ash. ❞ ❝ open your eyes, look more sharply, see me as i am. ❞ ❝ what the hell is tragedy? i am. ❞ ❝ i’ve got a lot of feeling for you. you’re kind. ❞ ❝ how beautiful it is, how beautiful, that glow before the stars break. ❞ ❝ so much to do today: kill memory, kill pain, turn heart into a stone, and yet prepare to live again. ❞ ❝ i am myself. that is not enough. ❞ ❝ i may be mad, god-seized, but i will stand outside my madness. ❞ ❝ my power, which to me is still a curse — ❞ ❝ ocean sea with its caressing swell; it has so often cooled my heart. ❞ ❝ do you bathe in perfume, and dry yourself in light? ❞ ❝ i like you; your eyes are full of language. ❞ ❝ let me tell you what i do know. i am more than one thing and not all of those things are good. ❞ ❝ you are the cause and the cure — both. ❞ ❝ i have kisses for the back of your neck. ❞ ❝ your beautiful glance is unbearably cruel. ❞ ❝ we might meet again, someday between dreams at dawn. ❞ ❝ suffering is a terrible fire; it either purifies or destroys. ❞ ❝ lately it hurts more to imagine you are a stranger rather than a destroyer. ❞ ❝ and i say to myself: a moon will rise from my darkness. ❞ ❝ since you walked out on me, i’m getting lovelier by the hour. i glow like a corpse in the dark. ❞ ❝ i will not whine. i will obey and be forever still. ❞ ❝ you move like the moon. ❞ ❝ my eyes ache with the weight of unshed tears. ❞ ❝ in your eyes, the fires of twilight. ❞ ❝ do not haunt my soul; i have done well forgetting you. ❞ ❝ i am no one. i cannot love. it’s in my blood. ❞ ❝ you’re wearing your armor to protect your heart. who can blame you? it only makes sense in a world like this one. ❞ ❝ you are not real. you are a dream of a dream. ❞ ❝ there are so many things i’m not allowed to tell you. ❞ ❝ i am indeed a shameless, evil-minded and abominable creature. ❞ ❝ come this evening — i am eager for stars. ❞ ❝ i am on fire with that soft sound you make, in uttering my name. ❞ ❝ i want you mostly in the morning when my soul is weak from dreaming. ❞ ❝ to me you are the desert and the sea; everything secretive. ❞ ❝ i thought i was wounded to the core but i was only bruised. ❞ ❝ it is a dead heart. it is inside of me. it is a stranger. ❞ ❝ i live — but i’m mutilated. ❞ ❝ if there is a light then i am going to swallow it. if there is a god then i’m going to make him cry. ❞ ❝ i am condemned to be a saint or a monster: unable to be the one, unwilling to be the other. ❞ ❝ you will open your wounds and make them a garden. ❞ ❝ i come home — and i feel like a ghost returning its haunt. ❞ ❝ i planted roses, but without you they were thorns. ❞ ❝ everything inside me is in revolt. ❞ ❝ how this darkness soaks me through and through. ❞ ❝ give me my robe, put on my crown; i have immortal longings in me. ❞ ❝ say something dangerous like i love you. ❞ ❝ listen, are you breathing just a little, and calling it a life? ❞ ❝ in times of crisis, we must decide again and again whom we love. ❞ ❝ breathe the scent of little, earthly things. let the twilight touch you. ❞ ❝ my heart is just like the ocean, has storm and calm and tides. ❞ ❝ you became for me a sacred being, not to be touched save in adoring thoughts. ❞ ❝ gods are stubborn. so am i. ❞ ❝ is it better to out-monster the monster or to be quietly devoured? ❞ ❝ there’s something soft in me. i killed it and it’s rotting. ❞ ❝ beware. beware. there is a tenderness. ❞ ❝ half gods are worshipped in wine and flowers. real gods require blood. ❞ ❝ i’m alive. like a wound, a flower in the flesh, the path of aching blood is open within me. ❞ ❝ you dangle on the leash of your own longing; your need grows teeth. ❞ ❝ i have it in me…to scare myself with my own desert places. ❞ ❝ my mouth still houses century-old magic. in my ears i hear a ringing and singing and no god. ❞ ❝ keep talking. i’ll keep walking toward the sound of your voice. ❞ ❝ i’m full of poetry now. rot and poetry. rotten poetry. ❞ ❝ this skin is sick with loneliness. ❞ ❝ memories are sharp. they bite. i have spent most of my life trying to grow a thicker skin just to make sure i would not bleed out whenever i felt those teeth scrape up against me. ❞ ❝ i wonder if i will ever find a language to speak of the things that haunt me the most. ❞ ❝ after fury, what do you do with the remains? ❞ ❝ come on, dance with me. the earth is spinning. we can’t just stand on it. ❞ ❝ let’s admit, without apology, what we do together. ❞ ❝ try to find the right place for yourself. if you can’t find it, at least dream of it. ❞ ❝ it takes grace to remain kind in cruel situations. ❞ ❝ i am too full of life to be half-loved. ❞ ❝ today you want nothing because wanting comes too close to feeling. ❞ ❝ there’s nothing more terrible, more alluring, more mysterious than love. ❞ ❝ heavenly wine and roses seem to whisper to me when you smile. ❞ ❝ my soul is devoutly and wholly under your spell. ❞ ❝ will you see the human in my being? ❞ ❝ if i had a flower for every time i thought of you…i could walk through my garden forever. ❞ ❝ part broken part whole, you begin again. ❞ ❝ i don’t know if love’s a feeling. sometimes i think it’s a matter of seeing. seeing you. ❞ ❝ i wonder which will get you killed faster, your loyalty or your stubbornness? ❞ ❝ whether you come as a lover or an exeutioner, i am ready to receive you. ❞ ❝ i think i understand your longing. it looks so much like mine. ❞ ❝ i’ve had so many knives stuck into me. when they hand me a flower, i can’t quite make out what it is. ❞ ❝ i like the sea: we understand one another. it is always yearning, sighing for something it cannot have; so am i. ❞ ❝ do i not live? badly, i know, but i live. ❞ ❝ something of you stuck with me. a splinter. ❞ ❝ i clung to your hands so that something human might exist in the chaos. ❞ ❝ sometimes i shut my eyes, and shut my heart towards you, and try hard to forget you because you grieve me so, but you’ll never go away. oh you never will. ❞ ❝ my golden love, if only you knew, what precious honey you are for me. ❞ ❝ i had an old wound once, but it is healing. ❞ ❝ always this in-betweenness, this almost, this it might be that… ❞ ❝ when i close my eyes, i see you. when i open my eyes i want to see you. ❞ ❝ dark as it is — you see, that little flickering, is the light of my soul. ❞ ❝ am i a monster or is this what it means to be a person? ❞ ❝ i am talking about evil. it blooms. it eats. it grins. ❞ ❝ sapphires are those eyes of yours, ravishingly sweet. ❞
the commander's appearances in the ai core have increased significantly in the last week, and it happens to correlate with either moments of noted emotional stress or what she calls 'guaranteed quiet'. though the droning of the ai core stands in stark contrast to what she calls quiet, legion is learning to recognize the patterns even among statistical outliers. just as its mobile platform houses myriad programs, so too do organic beings harbor contradictions and fallacies. legion turns its head towards the commander, awaiting the silence that will inevitably fall between them.
" offense and vexation are particular to organic lifeforms, " it counters once she finishes speaking. " as previously stated, we are not prone to such emotional responses. concern over offending us is therefore unwarranted, shepard - commander. "
legion's inner cranial plates lift in acknowledgment before they rest flat against its frame. private counsel. having private thoughts. it is unfathomable. " 'private thoughts' are an impossibility. we are geth. we are the gestalt formed by one thousand one hundred and eighty - three programs; even among other geth, our thoughts and processes would never be hidden from one another. such compartmentalization is inefficient and an obstacle to consensus and decision - making. it would render this platform unable to operate at full functionality. "
it tilts its head towards freya, star - bright central optic unblinking. " we have no need for 'privacy'. neither would we 'resent', in organic terms, the manner of our creation and design. "
freya &. legion for @lerecueil, continued from here.
note to self for later that i have to add my darktide guy to my roster. mom said it's my turn on the judge dredd knock off (said affectionately).
face reveal later but my god his lore is horrendous (delicious). i can finally claim to write an absolute cringelord that left the rich to become an attack dog instead because at least in the ranks of the brutal space police of the 41st millennium, he doesn't have to pretend or give a fuck.
note to self for later that i have to add my darktide guy to my roster. mom said it's my turn on the judge dredd knock off (said affectionately).
❝ did you just wake up with the urge to be a pain in my ass? ❞ + saren 4 garrus
there are some elements that do not belong aboard the normandy. one of them is cerberus, which makes it all the more oppressive to be aboard the new and supersized version of the sr1 and find all the right features and all the wrong faces. garrus considers it fortunate that he's ended up in the one place aboard the ship that so eerily resembles his hideout on omega: the main battery, at the end of a long hallway, from which he can pin down any would - be attackers. it's not paranoia, because he knows the commander is good at keeping crews on the straight and narrow. it's distrust and a proactive approach, because it's cerberus and the illusive man.
the second element is the rogue spectre that once threatened the entire galaxy with extinction. garrus still remembers his blood running cold when news first broke over saren arterius' survival. his memory isn't that faulty: he watched saren take his own life, then be killed again as a soulless husk. for the following week after receiving the news, every criminal he'd killed on omega had taken with them a piece of garrus' outrage. red tape at c - sec, life at the citadel cloaking itself in illusions of safety while silenced by censorship, the reapers once again becoming a myth and on top of that, saren lived while commander li - shepard lay dead. nobody could call that justice. garrus certainly couldn't. it still doesn't feel like justice.
now, once mortal enemies inhabit the ship and garrus can do nothing but watch as the council screws them all over again. he was and still is li - shepard's long range specialist. other than the collectors, garrus counts saren as another potential enemy on his list. he's never hesitated pulling the trigger, and he's not about to start now.
the normandy is en route to illium again, with the commander on the trail of the asari justicar. it's around that time on board that passes for breakfast and for all his faults and intentional deficiencies, gardner has at least arranged it so that those among them dextro - based can eat before the rest. garrus still avoids saren like the collector plague on omega, but sometimes they cross paths. sometimes, the mess isn't big enough for the both of them. @laesarus (as saren) puts up with exactly five seconds of scrutiny before he lashes out with a taunt, and garrus still can't help but internally remark on the flatness of saren's voice.
did you just wake up with the urge to be a pain in my ass?
" never, " garrus bites back, sarcasm as biting as the cold vacuum of space. " though now that you mention it, that'd be the best case scenario. a pain in the ass is the most innocent thing i could be. " the conversation ends there. the last thing he wants is to be given 'a talking to' regarding cooperation, if for no other reason than being unable to look vann in the eye.
god of war, accepting.
IT SEEMS UNGRATEFUL TO SAY YOU NEVER ASKED TO BE RESURRECTED. but even so, those are the very words that linger on freya's tongue almost every day, begging to be spoken to the organization that has managed to seize her by the throat by preventing her death. how does a person stop sensing the shadow of a life debt hanging over their shoulder? it doesn't matter if she had a choice ; cerberus and the illusive man have her pinned against the wall anyway, hands tied by her own sense of honor in a way that almost makes her understand why her apparent keeper wanted her mind untarnished.
not that she fully believes even that much after miranda's offhanded comment about control chips. despite the insistence that cerberus hadn't implemented one after all, freya half expects to lose her faculties every time she puts a toe out of line – and she often puts many there.
at least some things stay the same, like the fact that she doesn't need to turn from the colorful display of bottles on the wall to sense that the hiss of the doorway hails the arrival of garrus's company. two years hasn't dampened the instant recognition of his presence after having him by her side every time she left the normandy until its destruction. it's the only thing truly familiar about her surroundings anymore, except perhaps the company of the doctor or joker. this ship may wear the normandy's skin, but its updated interior leaves her lost at times. her cabin alone feels large enough to swallow her whole and leave her swimming in a vast sea of uncertainty narrated by normandy's new ai.
not to mention the collection of strange new faces, nothing like the carefully curated crew from years past, nothing like the companions she trusted.
" trying to be gentle with me, garrus? ever the gentleman. " she smiles into her glass as she lifts it to her lips, taking a sip without so much as flinching as her gaze shifts to its corners to regard his silhouette beside her. " good use of the phrase, though. "
even the weight of his company in the air, the familiarity of his tone and cadence, loosens the fist now perpetually clenched around her chest. it feels like finally finding her footing in the stability of his steady presence. the isolation eases in an instant, the same way it did when her inexplicable suspicions were confirmed upon seeing him for the first time again on omega. how can she possibly put that kind of relief into words? how can she express what it means to see her right hand here beside her again, where he belongs?
" better to see you, I'd wager, " she sighs, leaning over to lightly bump her shoulder against his upper arm. " woke up and didn't recognize a damn thing, surrounded by strangers who made sure I knew they scraped whatever was rest of me off the asphalt of space and put me back together again. "
and that I owe them for it goes unsaid.
" but it's all right to ask. hell, you may be the only one who can. and the answer is ... I feel suspiciously normal. " she pauses, sipping again, knowing it's a woefully inadequate statement, all things considered. nothing's normal – but she doesn't feel as strange as she would have expected to, as different as she would have thought. " I trust it about as much as I trust anything else about this mess. but hey – at least we both look good with scars. "
freya smiles a bit grimly, although a light has flickered on behind her eyes that's largely been missing since her awakening. without asking, she reaches for one of the bottles to pour garrus a drink and refill her own, then pushes his toward him. she won't take no for an answer, not this once, at least. " you know, you disappeared so well not even cerberus could find you. was your political frustration really the only reason you left? "
it's a bitter irony to see that a ship constructed by a human supremacist group is still stocked by alcohol fit for turian consumption, but then again it's no surprise considering the scale of their current endeavour. freya was never known for turning help away either, especially not during their high - speed chase after saren what feels like yesterday. the booze could also just be a way of making nice on cerberus' part but garrus won't give them that much credit or any at all, for that matter. in his opinion, it's hardly what the illusive man's outfit deserves. but that's not where his attention should be, not right now.
garrus mulls over freya's words. c - sec and its investigative department may be a thing of the past now, but the skills honed during his tenure are a whole other thing entirely: they remain, lodged into his brain like bullets in a corpse, as much part of him as his tattoos. 'suspiciously normal' is a hell of a way to describe her current state of both body and mind; fortunately, and though it's hardly the time to press her about it, it's in line with the woman he knows and has come to trust. even death can't take away some things.
he picks up the highball and sips the liquor inside, taking care not to disturb his injuries. " is that so hard to believe? " garrus questions back, and whatever humour he can't reflect with a click of his mandibles, he injects into his voice. it doesn't last long, though. " i've never minced words on how i feel about bureaucracy and the last two years have made me no better. sovereign didn't destroy the citadel because you pushed past the council at every turn, we stopped saren and the geth, and at first it was commendations and accolades everywhere. commander shepard, hero of the citadel. it took "
garrus stops himself. it took your death
" it took you dying for all of that to change into denial, into lies. i couldn't stay and live like nothing ever happened. i would have disgraced everything you fought for ... and that would've been no way to honour your memory. " another sip, this time fuller. the drink burns bitterly.
plenty of things change in two years, even if they come bearing a coat of very different paint. he could just not be thinking straight he does still feel some mild cognitive delay on account of the analgesics, after all but garrus highly doubts that the painkillers are the reason why he feels a crawling sense of unease. like static underneath his carapace. it's a twisted return to form after two years away, after a death so twisted and unnecessary it's almost comical in retrospect. of course it's not just the normandy that makes him wish he still had the strength to hearken to the spirits, but shepard herself. two years, gone. mourned. garrus had made some semblance of peace with it. and yet for all his disquiet, he wonders again and again: how does it feel to come back from the dead?
it's a stupid question. garrus asks it, however, because he doesn't know if anyone has. asked freya, that is. how is she feeling? [ if there's one thing the normandy has over c - sec and even the turian military, it's that command can be questioned and superior officers can be spoken to: he can speak to freya and know she'll welcome him. whether she'll answer, though, is a whole other story. the frantic chase after saren revealed much about all of them and if freya hasn't changed, that definitely means she's still on the defensive, finds it tough to open up. ]
" so ... at risk of opening a can of worms, as i've heard it said or reopening it, rather, " garrus begins as the hatch to port deck closes behind him and he joins her by the bar, " i have to ask: how ? " an annoyed click of his tongue, followed by his mandibles. " even asking 'how do you feel?' feels like an useless question for someone who's back from the dead, so i'll just say it's ... it's damn good to see you. "
plotted for @lerecueil, garrus &. freya.
god of war: ragnarok starters
may contain spoilers !
❝ trust? you have broken my trust. ❞ ❝ you seemed troubled in your sleep, even for you. nightmares? ❞ ❝ if you’re not fighting dirty, you’re not fighting, right? ❞ ❝ the worst is still ahead of us. we must be strong. ❞ ❝ it’s times like this i really miss home. ❞ ❝ you must live with your deeds, but do not be troubled by them. ❞ ❝ you don’t strike me as someone who fears death. ❞ ❝ that is not who i am anymore. ❞ ❝ the problem doesn’t have to reach our doorstop to be our responsibility. ❞ ❝ please don’t make me do this. ❞ ❝ the storm is getting worse. ❞ ❝ i’d offer you a hug, but why traumatise either of us further. ❞ ❝ whatever anger you’re feeling, whatever loathing toward me…it’s nothing to what i’ve said to myself. ❞ ❝ i know the hate that burns you from within. i’ve felt those flames…known the comfort of their warmth. ❞ ❝ i do not need you to protect me. ❞ ❝ be glad you have a home to remember fondly. ❞ ❝ you’ve come a long way since i first met you. ❞ ❝ the pain only grows. will i ever be free of it? ❞ ❝ i need you…i can’t do this by myself. ❞ ❝ got a case of pride, i get it. hope yours clears up quicker than mine did. ❞ ❝ you were given an impossible problem. do not blame yourself for failing to solve it. ❞ ❝ you speak of your deeds with shame. ❞ ❝ i wronged you. and i cannot change that…and can never apologise enough for it. ❞ ❝ we do not know what lies ahead. i wish to enjoy the time we have left. ❞ ❝ there is no need to shoulder this burden on your own. ❞ ❝ i suppose that’s all any of us can hope for in the end. that our death has purpose. ❞ ❝ i don’t need to hear about your mistakes. i’ve made enough of my own, thanks. ❞ ❝ some free advice? you don’t want to let anyone catch you talking to your sword. ❞ ❝ you reek of cheap mead and that is by far your most endearing characteristic. ❞ ❝ i expected you to come and find me. that no matter how hurt or angry, you wouldn’t abandon me when i needed you the most. ❞ ❝ you started this fight — i will end it. ❞ ❝ you don’t have to do this kinda stuff just to keep my mind off things. ❞ ❝ could i ever think of this place as home again? after all that’s happened? ❞ ❝ all too often, people are blinded to all but their immediate self-interest. ❞ ❝ not exactly a calming presence, are you? ❞ ❝ know that all reigns end, and all empires fall. ❞ ❝ do not doubt the lengths i will go to. ❞ ❝ so much has been taken from me and i’m supposed to let it all go? ❞ ❝ if you don’t think i could lead us, just say so. ❞ ❝ i’m not saying anything you haven’t thought. ❞ ❝ there’s no making this right, is there? ❞ ❝ love should be—could be—stronger than hatred. ❞ ❝ it seems to me we share a common enemy. ❞ ❝ i know how bad it can get with one’s own kin. ❞ ❝ seems the only thing i can do right these days is destroy everything around me. ❞ ❝ i am haunted by your incompetence. it keeps me up at night. ❞ ❝ so i’m not allowed to give you a nickname? ❞ ❝ oooh, getting nosey. getting personal. ❞ ❝ that’s the most dangerous and irresponsible thing i’ve ever heard. ❞ ❝ i haven’t given up hope on you. ❞ ❝ i had hoped my days of ceaseless battles were over. ❞ ❝ to grieve deeply is to love fully. ❞ ❝ the truth is always more complicated. to imagine it’s simple is dangerous. ❞ ❝ you’re a killer, just like your father. ❞ ❝ you think you just get to walk away? ❞ ❝ uh…someone’ll clean that up. ❞ ❝ i dont know if we’re breaking fate, or fate’s breaking us. ❞ ❝ how can you, of anyone alive, be squeamish about war? ❞ ❝ oh, wow…that’s quite the compliment. ❞ ❝ i grow tired of your lack of empathy. ❞ ❝ to abandon a poisonous path and walk another is no small challenge. ❞ ❝ can i get you a water or something? ❞ ❝ confronting the past comes with a price. ❞ ❝ i want things to be the way they were. ❞ ❝ being in love’s always a risk. that’s what makes it fun. ❞ ❝ i was always fond of our talks, you know. ❞ ❝ curiosity’s all well and good…but so’s privacy, yes? ❞ ❝ whatever you ask, consider it done. i am forever in your debt. ❞ ❝ what’s the biggest thing you’ve ever fought? ❞ ❝ so…was this all that you hoped for? ❞ ❝ the closer we get, the more tightness grows in my chest. ❞ ❝ your path leads to countless deaths. unimaginable pain and suffering. ❞ ❝ can’t you take a joke, you old goat? ❞ ❝ everyone takes it easy on you because they’re scared of your father. ❞ ❝ that’s family. you got to keep them close where they can make you good and crazy. ❞ ❝ maybe, for the moment, you’re of more use to me alive. ❞ ❝ look at the ruins before you and understand the truth: this was your doing. ❞ ❝ forgive me. my words were chosen carelessly. ❞ ❝ my success does not come from luck. ❞ ❝ just shut up and drink. ❞ ❝ no matter the size, every creature has a weakness. ❞ ❝ sometimes we never really know the ones we love. ❞ ❝ tell me about your homeland. ❞ ❝ leadership? not really my strong suit, let’s be honest. ❞ ❝ what am i gonna do, walk around with a bandage on my head, begging for attention? ❞ ❝ why are you so bent on hurting me like this? i’ve done nothing to you. ❞ ❝ you seem like a calm and reasonable person. are you a calm and reasonable person? ❞ ❝ i’ve seen my fair share of bloodshed, but this is an awful lot for one morning. ❞ ❝ if you’re planning on killing me, at least let me finish this song. ❞ ❝ everywhere i look, i am reminded of my mistakes. ❞ ❝ i have seen many lands. many realms. i can tell you with some certainty: no such paradise exists. ❞ ❝ do something about it or shut up already. ❞ ❝ breaking tension with humour is the sacred duty of a travelling companion. ❞ ❝ forgiveness can be powerful. even for the unworthy. ❞ ❝ you have no idea the kind of shit i’ve been through. ❞ ❝ our actions have consequences. to be reminded of them is not a punishment. ❞ ❝ take the hint. go away. ❞ ❝ something is on your mind. what is it? ❞ ❝ what a twisted little soul you have. ❞ ❝ your eyes say everything. ❞ ❝ me and you against the world, huh? just like the old days. ❞ ❝ there is no making things right. only better than they were. ❞ ❝ without me? i thought we were partners. ❞ ❝ this will end in blood. the only question that remains is which side is willing to spill more. ❞ ❝ i have lost myself before. more than once. ❞ ❝ you cannot sneak up on me like that. ❞ ❝ is it always moral to kill something that’s trying to kill you? ❞ ❝ we’ve gotta be more than a bunch of stories with our endings already written. ❞ ❝ the smell is making my eyes burn. ❞ ❝ you are staring… ❞ ❝ even the brightest among us carry darkness. ❞ ❝ anyone ever tell you that you babble when you’re terrified? ❞ ❝ every path i walk…leads back to vengeance. ❞ ❝ maybe our families are just meant to be enemies. ❞ ❝ i know how it feels…to lose a parent. ❞ ❝ your love of this place…i can feel it. anyone can. ❞ ❝ what you can do is get the fuck out of my sight. ❞ ❝ it was stupid of me to hope in the first place. ❞ ❝ is that regret in your voice? ❞ ❝ there are things even gods cannot control. ❞ ❝ you don’t care about anyone beyond yourself. ❞ ❝ say something. i enjoy hearing your voice. ❞ ❝ does it frighten you? that is why you must do it. ❞ ❝ the dumb doesn’t fall far from the tree. ❞ ❝ you’re quite agitated, even for you. ❞ ❝ ain’t you never seen a legend in the flesh before? ❞ ❝ you are one of the few i would call a ‘friend’. ❞ ❝ this place is kinda pretty, when things aren’t trying to kill us. ❞ ❝ i find the hues and shades of your shortcomings almost moving. ❞ ❝ i still might kill you when this is over. ❞ ❝ i wish i could do more, i really do. ❞ ❝ do you ever have those moments where you wish you could…go back? rewrite your own past, make different decisions. ❞ ❝ do you want me to stop talking about your muscles? ❞ ❝ you are a formidable warrior, but even more than that, you have a good heart. ❞ ❝ this world takes more strength than it gave me. ❞ ❝ i’m trying to save your life, you big jerk. ❞ ❝ at least something out here doesn’t wanna kill me. ❞ ❝ i’ll just say it. i’m getting a really terrible feeling from this place. ❞ ❝ violence changes us. you are not weak to feel its effects. ❞ ❝ i’ve always loved you, you know. ❞ ❝ what side are you on anyway? ❞ ❝ everything was fine until you showed up. ❞ ❝ i have been…falling back into my old ways. angry. distrustful. ❞ ❝ one day, you will have to survive. without me. ❞ ❝ you don’t have to like me but…we’re gonna have to trust each other. ❞ ❝ you think war drives me? or power? wealth? no. never has. ❞ ❝ and they say i’m the bad guy. ❞ ❝ you feel it in the air, don’t you? the anxiety. ❞ ❝ i’m not being weird, you’re being weird. ❞ ❝ sure you’re up for breaking the rules like this? ❞ ❝ doubt is a weakness we cannot afford. ❞ ❝ mm. i do not like riddles. ❞ ❝ it just seems like a lot for someone your age. ❞ ❝ use the judgement of a man and not of a child. ❞ ❝ so what are we supposed to do? roll over? do nothing? ❞ ❝ war will not give you the purpose you seek. ❞ ❝ nasty hit! are you alright? ❞ ❝ well, glad you survived the first day. ❞ ❝ what do you think? is there a right side in this war? ❞ ❝ didn’t you ever have an awkward phase in your youth? ❞ ❝ you will not find me good company. ❞ ❝ how about we just don’t kill each other? ❞ ❝ what have your promises ever been worth? ❞ ❝ why would you come this way alone? ❞ ❝ leave now, whether you value your life or peace in your death. ❞ ❝ i put you in so much pain. put you in a terrible situation. ❞ ❝ the most difficult battles are fought within. ❞ ❝ it’s not my job to teach you everything. ❞ ❝ thanks for patching me up. ❞ ❝ loss can do things to a man. ❞ ❝ i don’t know why i thought i could do this alone. ❞ ❝ i will do what it takes to keep you safe. ❞ ❝ a desperate creature can be the most dangerous. ❞ ❝ you’re just sharing your thoughts on a subject you know nothing about. ❞ ❝ this isn’t who you want to be. ❞ ❝ i knew this was going too smoothly. ❞ ❝ can one man do this much damage? ❞ ❝ this is your final warning. ❞ ❝ you have a lot of nerve, know that? ❞ ❝ i am counting on you. to be safe. to be smart. ❞ ❝ uh, maybe that’s not a good idea? ❞ ❝ well, that was violent. ❞ ❝ don’t go to too much trouble on my account. ❞ ❝ are you not a soldier? are you not a leader of people? ❞ ❝ just when i thought you couldn’t get even more godly. ❞ ❝ do you wish to speak of what happened? ❞ ❝ you have no hold on me any more. ❞ ❝ have you ever been in love? ❞ ❝ mind if i give you the best advice you’ve heard all day and possibly ever? sleep. ❞ ❝ you’ll have my wise and faithful counsel always. ❞ ❝ look, i just want to do the right thing. ❞ ❝ all i ask for is a good night’s rest. ❞ ❝ you’re angry with me, aren’t you? ❞ ❝ we live in strange times. ❞ ❝ do you hear that? i thought i heard a voice. ❞ ❝ any outsider is considered a threat. ❞ ❝ it is not always wrong to trust people. ❞ ❝ never thought i’d be so relieved to be back here. ❞ ❝ well, we all make mistakes. ❞ ❝ this is the craziest thing i’ve ever done. ❞ ❝ when we get out of here, i’ll give you some space. ❞ ❝ violence cannot prevent violence. ❞ ❝ the truth can be a cruel thing. ❞ ❝ defy your prophecy at your own peril. ❞ ❝ i must say, i think we make a good team. ❞ ❝ where would you even be without me? ❞ ❝ calm your mind. control it. ❞ ❝ you look…weirder than i imagined. ❞ ❝ we must tread carefully. danger is close. ❞ ❝ there are worse things to discover about someone you love. ❞ ❝ i know how it feels to be wronged. ❞ ❝ did you just wake up with the urge to be a pain in my ass? ❞ ❝ is it revenge if justice is served? ❞ ❝ sometimes there is no other way. ❞ ❝ all journeys come to an end. ❞ ❝ you’re the first person that i’ve talked to in a really long time. ❞ ❝ i’ve been waiting my whole life for this moment. ❞ ❝ so…do you forgive me? ❞ ❝ sorry, i’m just really excited to talk to you. ❞ ❝ is there any way to stop fate? ❞ ❝ it would be the first time in a while i have something truly mine. ❞ ❝ the earth is the reflection of those who tend it. ❞ ❝ i have to say. i am profoundly unimpressed. ❞ ❝ i did not come to you for a lecture. ❞ ❝ perhaps there is a measure of monster inside us all. ❞ ❝ i was about to look for you. ❞ ❝ i said we would speak no more of that. ❞ ❝ peace cannot endure without force to protect it. ❞ ❝ what is it you will not tell me? ❞ ❝ where has everyone gone, i wonder? ❞ ❝ i suppose we’re all entitled to walk our own paths. regardless of where they end. ❞ ❝ you are in way over your head. ❞ ❝ so much about that day i wish i could change. ❞ ❝ it is difficult to seek forgiveness when you feel unworthy. ❞ ❝ i don’t recall asking you to come along. ❞ ❝ don’t you know who i am? ❞ ❝ real power does not need to flaunt. it emerges when the time is right. ❞ ❝ i don’t move, you don’t move. don’t do anything you’ll regret. ❞ ❝ sorry we got off on the wrong foot there. ❞ ❝ i meant it when i said you’re not a prisoner here. ❞ ❝ the culmination of love is grief, and still we open our hearts to the inevitable. ❞ ❝ why aren’t we working together? ❞ ❝ maybe together we can take back what’s ours. ❞ ❝ you don’t hear me spreading your business all around town, do you? ❞ ❝ you judge me? you? ❞ ❝ you think i’m being stupid. ❞ ❝ go before i change my mind. ❞ ❝ you deserve nothing but pain. ❞ ❝ always expect the unexpected. ❞ ❝ don’t go telling anyone about that. ❞ ❝ i shouldn’t have listened to you. ❞ ❝ you think my anger is irrational? ❞ ❝ prophecies are slippery by nature. ❞ ❝ seek no quarrel with me, and i’ll have no quarrel with you. ❞ ❝ you’re a destroyer, like me. ❞ ❝ you think i’m trouble? you just met me. ❞ ❝ not sure that makes me feel any better… ❞ ❝ let me see the monster inside. ❞ ❝ i know what you’re doing. trying to play on my sympathies in the hope i let you live. ❞ ❝ i do not want you to feel alone. ❞ ❝ the mistakes of the past need not be repeated. ❞ ❝ never mind…i shouldn’t have asked. ❞ ❝ i regret many things. killing you will not be one of them. ❞ ❝ do you believe in fate? ❞ ❝ you can’t kill what you can’t catch. ❞ ❝ i just could use some fresh air, is all. ❞ ❝ i told you never to come back here. ❞
Sekiro gifs ▸ [13/∞]
“ ⸻ but man! I so did not have it. "
leaves some boba tea on cayde's desk that is more toppings than tea with a note that reads “spicy ramen 2 4 1 deal. dinner & debrief?” the boba tea is incredibly sweet. + sol
it's cheesy, but sometimes he thinks of some of his hunters as magpies. be it something truly shiny or a random find, there's always something taking up space on both his desk and his section of the vanguard table. from @laesarus (as sol), it most often happens to be something food - related. cayde still has the 'tower's #1 boss' mug that she brought him on a whim; still uses it, too, whether he has something to prove to zavala and ikora or when he just feels like sipping on coffee while making sure the printed text is facing them which happens to be often. today, there's no second mug or any other kind of knickknack; the offering instead takes the form of boba tea. that, and a note.
cayde grabs both of them at once, sticking the straw inside his mouth as he reads. hold on, a ramen deal he hasn't heard about? maybe he missed the ad, though he'd consider that negligence on his part. at the end of that thought, an overwhelming taste of sugar brings him back to reality and he stops drinking immediately, bringing the cup to eye level as though he could glare daggers at the offensive amount of sweetness in the drink. his brow plates join together in a frown, though the annoyance dissipates as quickly as it comes.
" damn. don't even have proper tissues anymore and i can hear my body screamin' at how sweet this is, " he complains idly to sundance, turning sol's paper note in his fingers like a playing card. " ring her up, will ya? "
it doesn't take long for the call to go through and for sol's voice to cut through the quiet. asks if he likes what she left him and that if he saw her note. cayde, for his part, aims to make the best of his "troubles".
" be at the bazaar in two hours, you hear me? and it might be a two for one deal but after this attempt at poisoning me, you're paying for my bowl. "
" if you're so mad about it, why're you still drinking? "
cayde pops a tapioca pearl inside his mouth. " counterquestion: why're you spying on your boss and not preparing that debrief? " there's a moment of silence. " that's what i thought. "
unprompted asks, always accepting.
