My Musings

Just Little Things I'm Interested In

[m1az66]

I am Mother, Not Your Mother

Don’t stare at me, boy

I am no majestic marvel

Where you see grace, beauty, and strength

I only see my mundane, everyday self

Give me more credit than that

I am a woman

A burden

A worn-down, dull blade that barely glimmers in the light

A blade that has to fight, and fight, before I leave any mark of any kind

So don’t look at me with those eyes of wonder

I know it’s all a sham, your perverted gaze

Take me as I am:

A mess

Don’t spectate-

Witness

You’ll never be anything more than a mere man, no, less

just a boy

[m1az66]

I Crash N Burn N Day

Toss and turn

Turn and toss

The anxiety builds

The drums pound

The beat pulsating

Against my neck and chest

My throat chokes

Tears well

Shifts in breath

Hitched and haunted

My memories of

your

Body

Mangling my dreams

How could you just move on

And forget me

How could I

Not

[No peace shall be found here in this corner of the cotton gauze clinging to my heated, battered body]

But

take your time

I’ll only

Keep tossing… turning

turning… tossing

Flip-Flopping

Missing [you]

(But)

Not forgotten

How cruel my eyes dare peer

Upon your visage

To find truth

In only nothing

I crash

And burn

In the day

Truly rotten

[m1az66]

I miss your body.

The sunrise is so lonely. Another night gone by without you. Another day to pass without you too.

I feel so lonely in this backwards schedule. There’s no one to reach out to, to fill the void.

It’s just quiet in the dark, a stillness too heavy against my skin. The imprints it leaves against my body, sullen reminders.

I wish I could be more coherent (or is it more confident?) in the way I spoke [to you].

It’s just dreams and longing now as I fight against this giant star staring me down into submission.

Do you ever feel the same? Traces of me left behind in your soul, that startle you from your slumber, if for only just a moment?

Because I don’t want to cause peace. I want to burn an agony so pleasant you can’t live without me.

Maybe that’s just nighttime madness...

I miss your body though.

And all the thoughts and feelings and voices and moans and touches and whispers that came with it.

Perhaps another day will go by and I won’t though.

Perhaps.

[m1az66]

Okay. They got me. Heated Rivalry is now one of my favorite shows that I will def rewatch. Bless these hockey babes and their love.

[m1az66]

no music influenced me this time, just my own brain

[m1az66]

and the mewithoutYou party continues

[m1az66]

Maybe I’ve been listening to mwY a bit too much lol

[m1az66]

Just Missed

Our paths barely crossed

Your sun, my moon

Chasing one another

The gaps filled in

By mystic twilight

Never ending cycles

Of constant rumination

My hand may have brushed up

Just once, upon yours

But when lashes lifted way

You were nowhere found

Yet I felt your presence

Everywhere

Time stretches on and

Everywhere

I feel you still

The sunspots linger in my vision

The warmth slowly fading

My starlight kiss waning

Only the stars know

How your celestial body tasted

Before the cosmos

Your sun, my moon

Was just a piece of heaven

Now there’s nothing left

But bereft darkness

And waxing crescents

[m1az66]

From the past: Dated 7.23.23

Title: Wallflower Kind of Love

We had a wallflower

Kind of love

Soft and gentle

Creeping up

From the floor

Yearning for

Something more

Leaves outstretched

Buds adorned

But never fully bloomed

Our love was

All over the place

Vine ripened too soon

Withered in place

Nothing but

A wallflower disgrace

Slowly decomposing

Leaving no trace

But brittle roots

Bored deep within

[m1az66]

Pomegranate Drips

Down the corner of the blanket

The tempest of death

Beckoning through the door step

Step out and stretch

A hand toward my pocket

Conceal the note you left

When you rose up in the morning

Shuffle through the noise and

Accept the invitation forward

She bloomed

And got forgotten

Pomegranate tears left on the door step

[m1az66]

Had a dream that Chappell Roan and Brandi Carlile sang a duet for me and I fell in love. A true dream team.

[m1az66]

If I could fall in love with you again,

I would.

I’d choose to love you, over and over.

Even if it meant,

That in the end,

I’d be broken down and crumpled.

All pieces put back together,

Time after time.

Only to fall in love with you once more,

And more,

Again.

[m1az66]

the year ahead

[m1az66]

all these moments and more

[m1az66]

Why’d you do that to me Dandadan #ep7

[m1az66]

New little delight in life - enjoying coffee in the snow with my husband at our home 🩵

[m1az66]

just thinking of her [little paw]