PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
I'd rather be in outer space šø
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@machinationsofthedead
Their account
hey so i don't ever post on tumblr but this is me! i appreciate all the tags so much, i despise twitter and would've loved to post it here if i had any reach whatsoever. thank u to op for doing it for me, 25k notes seems insane for something related to me... all the tags are so so funny. here's another photo from the day, and here's me seeing him again just over a year later. such a solid guy and i'm glad this wild experience resonated with people
Fuck Iām at a fencing tournament and literally a minute after I reblogged this my dad told me that he talked to the point people and Iām probably going to win a medal.
BURN BAGEL BURN
OH WHY NOT?
I need to follow up to say I reblogged this last night, and this morning I got some of the best news of my life, like, a life dream come true news thing.
Bagel what are your powers
FUCK, I though it was just another lucky meme but LISTEN. Since a week ago I was waiting a phone call to confirm me if I got a job or not in my university. I reblogged this yesterdayās night ājust for fun and because I donāt want any bagel to be mad with meā, and todayās afternoon, while I was losing my time as always, the professor I was supposed to work with called me and asked me for my personal information to start working with her.
THE BAGEL POWERS ARE WAY TOO MUCH FOR THIS WORLD
I GOT A JOB THE DAY AFTER MY QUEUE POSTED THIS THE FIRST TIME AND I JUST REALIZED IT WHEN I SAW IT AGAIN HOLY GOD
The bagel hasnāt let me down yet!
I got a job offer after reblogging the bagel. Believe in the bagel!
šš¼
Worth a try lol
i could use some good news or even a good girlĀ
Go lil bagle! Show me your power!
Okii then!
THIS IS THE FIRST THING ON MY BLOG
I GOT ASKED OUT FOR THE FIRST TIME AFTER I REBLOGGED IT
Ugh I hate superstitionsā¦ ā¦ not that it stops me, of course
Step on me please
hiii no waistcoat yet but it's getting there, sorry to any non ghost fans that i scarred yesterday. specifically the wendy's employees. i forgot people are normal
TOP FIVE WILL WOOD RANTS
5. Well he was uh, well he was uh, he was uh, he was carrying the skin of a cat that he grew up with and then had, uh, stuffed to preserve its memory in physical Ā form but decided that with the skeleton inside the cat and all the stuff, stuffing it, it was too heavy so he removed the skin from the wire frame of the taxidermy thing and he, he slung it around his neck like a scarf and, uhm. he well he was WEARING STOLEN RUBBER SHOES-
4.Ā When I greet my bed, the story is the same. My body fizzes like alka-seltzer, vibrating like your girlfriendās expensive dildo that makes you feel inadequate. The form-constant fractals beneath my skin buzz with electricity and shut down, with my breath inaudible and my sight flickering with phospheres and the static of your VCR. There I am, frozen as though floating in a vat of molasses- at the mercy of the ladle that scoops me from my sleep paralysis and carries me into the mouth of my subconscious. I am swallowed- squeezed down my mindās tightening esophagus (If you can say āIām choking!ā then youāre not choking) and dropped into the acidic contents of its beastly belly. I turn on the light of my spelunkerās helmet (ajna, ablaze) and I am elsewhere. Perhaps I am staring into a mirror, examining the new row of plastic teeth knocking out my nicotine-stained, favored and reliable ones that are shrinking and popping out from my gingivitis gums. Perhaps I am professing madness to my mother in an alien house that I recognize as my own (I couldāve sworn Itai and Mark were piling furniture up to block my back door) as she washes the dishes and insists it is the result of narcotics that has me crying āSchizo!ā Or perhaps I am once again entranced with my contorting face- numbing in the mirror as Nadav prepares my destroyed eyeball for the upcoming show. (It was an RC! There should be no numbness! and it was in an EYEdropper for a reason, right?) But then I am woken by caveman cries cascading out with corrupt cadence from between my cracking lipsā¦ Rescued from this horrible realityā¦ yet somehow it seems these worlds are still very real. Somehow it seems that although I am no somniloquist, Iāve been talking to myself in my sleep. A language so familiar, a tongue so recognizeable, a dialect so real. And as I stumble through the Strange Thick of the Woods (the double-black-diamond path) my eyes roll into the back of my skull, stare down my brain, and see new words, neologisms, forming on the page. The story is the same- but I have never read it so readily. My dreams follow me into the daytime, and it seems to only make sense to sayā¦ What would Carl Jung do?
3.Ā I can see it now, Iā¦ What? Iām being chased, Iām being run out of the settlement Iāve been staying in! But why? hmmm, hmmmā¦ Theyāre shouting at me, throwing rocks, telling me Iāve done things I know Iād never do! That Iāve been stealing grain from the stock piles, selling snake oils, and false tonics to the local children, making mid-2000ās pop culture focused comedy! But they know me! They, they should know me I would never, Iā¦ Ok, now Iāve left the village. Uh, Iām living in a hole now, what was probably once someoneās basement. There are pages pinned to the walls connected with loose bits of string. Cluesā¦ Iām trying to figure out who framed meā¦ Ugh, my eyes are bloodshot. I can barely think. I havenāt slept in days, not counting the blackouts. I can see myself slipping past the gate, back into the village, that Iām revisiting my old haunts looking for any scrap of a leadā¦ Alright, I fight the urge to return to my familyās tent to watch my husband sleep. I donāt deserve that, yet not after what iāve becomeā¦ What does that mean? I find a doll, a puppet in my likeness, a scar emblazoned across itās forehead. I donāt know what to make of it. I donāt know what it means. Iām back in the hole curled on the floor clutching the doll to my chest, pulling clumps of brown hair from my scalp. Brown hair, straight brown hair, not mine! I scramble across the concrete floor over to a puddle of piss in the corner. I gaze into my reflection. Oh god! I understand now! itās so clear! Itās been right in front of me! I gaze into the pool and Neil Cicierega gazes back! Itās heartbreakingly obvious now! The music I make is so self-evidently similar to Neil Cicieregaās that we have literally become the same person, and also always have been including now currently. Any and all comparison between our bodies of work makes sense to me. I no longer find them confusing. Both of us have listened to Oingo Boingo before, and that means weāre the same guy. Youād think thatād make people compare me to Danny Elfman, but they donāt because as weāve established I am literally Neil Cicierega, and thatās cannon.
2.Ā I settled into a new mind, in a flea-bitten tub-ring paradise of a queen-sized suite of a Wyndham-Microtel-Econolodge-Red-Roof-Inn-Knights-Inn-Super-8-whatever outside Richmond, Virginia. Curled up with an old Showtime softcore porno and flipped through my phone for a few hours. Picked up a bag of Swedish Fish and a fistful of chocolate-covered cherries and a pack of Malboro next for three dollars and ninety cents in the bodega by the Waffle House. I spun my eyes over the beautiful floral arrangements blooming and tessellating in the stucco on the walls. Ā Anything, I figured, to keep my mind off those goosebumps that were rising and squeaking and cracking and quaking and threatening anaphylaxis and asphyxiation with every sharp inhale that I took. With the threat of Stevens-Johnson Syndrome behind my flesh. And I watched as my skin crawled upwards to form a flesh noose to hang me from the rafters of that place I had found myself in, and I watched as my epidermis took on the shape of whatever I feared the most in that moment. And I sat there, down in that fly-trap ash-tray contemplating my next move, and weighing out the pros and cons. Of. Every. Last. Rotten. Pulse. It was either Wilmington, North Carolina or the nearest hospital!
COMING IN AT NUMBER ONE:
1. wednesday is not only the greatest betrayal in television history but the most maddeningly trite, disturbingly vapid, and internally confused ideological train wreck Iāve ever had the deeply sorrowful displeasure of allowing to pass through my corneas may god have mercy on burton or whoever else was responsible while someone slapped his brand name on it, and on all of us who are fated to live in a world where something so culturally, socially, politically, and artistically noxious as this Mary-sue-lead, transparently TikTok-targeted, phone-worshipping, vaguely bigoted, backfired virtue-signaling, fake leftist capitalist āmy immortalā-esque fanfic earns a second season through what I can only be explained as manufactured consent. something must be done about Netflixās Wednesday. This thing is a condescending insult, especially to young people, the socially conscious, and members of marginalized and āāāoutcastāāā groups (LiKe GoThS & ppL who CAN cONTroL BEEEEES) who genuinely suffer from what this thing hollowly masturbates to while looking us dead in the eyes and saying āyeah, you like that, donāt you?ā It is a Gatling gun of random buzzwords and empty references to social issues, grotesquely and impotently disguised and screaming āIām commentary!ā before pissing its pants, squealing like a pig, and at its most coherent offering nothing more than to demonize mental illness and make any marginalized identity out to be a mayonnaise-stained Hot Topic hoodie through Wiseau-ian dialogue, inappropriate āgrittinessā for its source material and Harry Potter setting, and incessant hackery. I am shitting. I am pissing. I am standing over a warm bubble bath cradling a toaster and sobbing, chanting g-dās secret name and praying that there is indeed a hell so I can be eternally punished for having given this moral abomination one fraction of a fraction of a cent also itās not a good Addams family adaptation anyway let me know your thoughts in the poll below
will wood x mtp. you agree. reblog
only tolerable social media deserves food i give food donāt repost or use as pfps thanks
Nischa doodles š
I am very normal about Ohio rtc
If you want to, maybe Ocean and Noel sibling dynamics? I love any art of the two of them begrudgingly caring about each other!!!
it took me so long to get around to doing this request, i swear i love them im just lazy
Let rivers run wild or lŠµt them be damned
I know that we all think that Mischa cusses a lot around everyone, including every adult ever, but like I feel like heād be the perfect guy to bring home to your parents?
Like heād wear a little suit, heād gel his hair back, heād say stuff like āwell I can see where ____ gets their looks from šā and then the second theyāre out of sight heād instantly be like āholy shit that was the hardest thing Iāve ever done in my life what the hell manā
He meets Noelās mother and his mom is like āWhat a nice young man! Heās so sweet š„°ā and Noelās just like āhaha yeah for sure š ā
He also records the whole thing and the rest of the choir is torn between āawww itās so sweet!ā And āoh my god this is the funniest thing everā
-richard siken.
-richard siken.
you electricity fuckers have made it impossible for me to watch the intro the same way. i hope both sides of the pillow are warm for all of you
Gay people
First time drawing Chaz's Mischa lolz!! I think they're very neat <3
ŠÆ ŃŠµŠ±Šµ ŠŗŠ¾Ń Š°Ń, Š¢Š°Š»ŃŃ š
