lookin' for ghouls

breakfast rights advocate and certified worrier

[mackenzie-furth]

✉ || RIVER ⇄ MAC

River: What if I gave you a glass?

Mac: It'd be less weird if it was a milkshake. I mean, who really goes around passing out glasses of milk?

[mackenzie-furth]

kori--morales‌:

“Let me give you something. You didn’t have to go out of your way to help me out. I don’t want that to go unrewarded,” she tried to convince him. “It’s not the easiest, but it’s not the hardest either. I wouldn’t even call it intermediate, but you should make sure it’s getting enough sun.”

“I don’t mind, really,” he explained. “I think I could do that. I don’t have the greenest of thumbs, but I’ve gotten better recently. I have a snake plant that I’ve kept alive for like three months now, which is impressive for me.” 

[mackenzie-furth]

byron--taylor‌:

“You can’t just… You shouldn’t…” His words failed him as h e refused to turn towards Macs direction. His chest felt so tight, and his sinuses ached with a threat of tears that he was able to hold back. Suddenly he had been brought back to his bedroom in high school. Suddenly the sickening feeling that would come with a soft hand on him flooded his insides.

“I know. I know. I shouldn’t have. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, Byron,” he continued to apologizing ferociously. Mac wanted to comfort him in some way, but didn’t know how when he was the whole problem. “I-- I can leave or-- or go to another room?” he offered despite it being his apartment they were in. “Do you-- i-is there anything I can do? I’m so sorry.”

[mackenzie-furth]

text ✉ mac + lily

Lily: Of course, it's no problem, Mac. Oooohhh, what's he like? Well I think you should probably clarify that's what it is though, but yeah. You can do that, just don't want to lead her on either, you know?

Mac: He's patient and he makes me smile and I like holding his hand. I feel like I'm gonna bore him, though. Yeah, I wouldn't want to do that. I'll make sure it's a friend dinner.

[mackenzie-furth]

kori--morales‌:

“I can give you a discount for sure. I’ll give you my discount. I don’t want to have you do all this work and then not pay you back,” she shook her head. “I’ll show you,” she waved him over to a purple plant with delicate flowers. The oxalis. I fine most house plants are more beautiful and durable than flowers on their own.”

“That’s very nice of you, but I don’t want you to feel like you owe me anything,” Mac explained. He followed her over to the plants. “I can see that,” he nodded. “It’s beautiful. Is it easy to take care of?” 

[mackenzie-furth]

dani-bradford‌:

“That’s okay. No need to. I get to walk away from this with my ego inflated knowing that what we have is special for you.”

“Oh, but it’s not special to you? I’m not the best employee you’ve ever had?” he asked jokingly. 

[mackenzie-furth]

text ✉ mac + lily

Lily: I do know, I wish I could quiet it for you, but I'll be here to support you whenever you decide to have those kinds of conversations. Um, some little crushes maybe, but no one really to speak of. How about you, any boys I should know about? Your date... I think you're just going to have to let her down easy, Mac.

Mac: Thanks. I feel weird saying I appreciate it again, but I do. Yeah? Um, there's a guy I like and I think he likes me. At least sometimes? I don't know. Yeah, I'm not good at that though. I mean, can I just say yes and it be like a friend dinner? Friends have dinner. I just don't want to hurt her feelings or make her mad at me.

[mackenzie-furth]

text ✉ mac + lily

Lily: I wish I could hug you right now, Mac. You're so loved, okay? And I'm so sorry that they didn't show that love to you, but the people in your life now aren't going to treat you that way. But, I know I and everyone else can say that to you over and over and it doesn't turn that voice in your head off. But, I'll keep saying it, because I love you so much. I appreciate you saying so.

Mac: A hug sounds nice. I love you too, Lily. I'm trying to block out the voice, but it's always there to make me second guess myself, you know? Anyways, on a lighter note, is there a girl you like or girls? If not, do you wanna go on a date for me?

[mackenzie-furth]

text ✉ mac + lily

Lily: And I know you don't want to jeopardize that, or make it just go back for your sake or for their sake, but you know they'd rather know the real, whole, true you than just a version you're putting on for their sake, you know? But even in saying all of this to you, I know it's never as easy as anyone else makes it seem. I'm being sincere. You're so special, okay?

Mac: Yeah, I know. I just get in my head about it, I guess. I can't help thinking about how my biological parents would react. Like, I know my parents are nothing like them, but I just get this gut feeling that I need to shut up. I appreciate that. You're special too, you know?

[mackenzie-furth]

text ✉ mac + lily

Lily: Of course. You're not the broken kid, Mac. You're a blessing to them, and nothing less. But I know what you mean, there's just this feeling that it complicates their lives, and even if they accept you and love you all the same, it adds this, like, layer to their relationship with you and how they talk about you, and you don't want them to feel like they have to change anything or deal with something extra. But, Mac... you're such a good kid, okay? And you're the sweetest thing, you haven't made their lives difficult, you've given it more purpose and more love.

Mac: Yeah, exactly. I just don't want them to feel like they're walking on egg shells around me because they already kinda treat me like that. I mean, it's gotten better, but it's like /just/ gotten better because everything before high school was touchy and so I don't wanna spring this on them and have them second guess everything they say to me, you know? You're gonna make me cry. Stop it.

[mackenzie-furth]

text ✉ mac + lily

Lily: Aw, I'm really glad you were able to tell me then, Mac. I, well, not to like steal your moment of telling me this, but I've kind of been exploring for a bit, and I.. well, I like girls too. And I haven't really been able to find the courage to tell people either, so I know that feeling, of just like... I don't know, it's like you know these people in your life wouldn't judge you for it, but it's still so hard to get over that hump. I'm really, really happy for you that you did today.

Mac: No, steal the moment all you want! That's great, Lily. I'm glad you felt comfortable telling me too. Yeah, I mean, I don't see my parents having a problem with it or anything, but it's kinda like they already got the broken kid, you know? And then like this on top of it feels like it'd be a disappointment to them and it's like I wanna be /normal/ for them. Not that me liking guys makes me not normal, but I mean, you know? It's not the commonly accepted normal and I've already made things difficult enough, so I don't know. I feel like I'm just rambling now.

[mackenzie-furth]

kori--morales‌:

“Well, wait. I might be able to get away with giving you a free small plant. You might have to settle for a discount on the medium and large ones,” she quickly backtracked with an apologetic look. “Um, just over by the window please.”

“Oh, no. You don’t have to give me a plant. I mean, I’m probably gonna pick one out before I leave, but I’m gonna pay for it,” Mac assured her. He gave a nod before crossing over to the window to set do the plant. “So, do you have a favorite?” 

[mackenzie-furth]

text ✉ mac + lily

Lily: I know exactly what you mean, yeah. Well, I'm really glad you felt comfortable enough to tell me, Mac. I hope you know this doesn't change the way I see you or anything like that.

Mac: Of course, Lily pad. I couldn't really imagine telling anyone else. I actually haven't told anyone else, but it feels kinda nice to admit it instead of just feeling it.

[mackenzie-furth]

text ✉ mac + lily

Lily: Oh my gosh, Mac. So.. this.. you're pretty sure about this, then, aren't you?

Mac: I mean, I didn't /know/ know then, but I like /knew/, you know? I'm not sure that makes sense, but yeah, I'm pretty sure. Like at least 97%.

[mackenzie-furth]

text ✉ mac + lily

Lily: Oh, okay, well that will take her out of the running for your heart in a hurry. How long have you felt like you might not like girls?

Mac: Yeah, kinda. Um, probably about like twelve years...

[mackenzie-furth]

text ✉ mac + lily

Lily: And you don't think that could change on a date? You couldn't look at her in a different light?

Mac: No, I don't think so. I mean, she's a great girl, but I'm not sure I'm into girls.

[mackenzie-furth]

text ✉ mac + lily

Lily: Aaand you're not into her?

Mac: Not like that, no.