Madagascar Incorrect Quotes

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Koto: Any last words? Mort: Do you think I'm cute? Be honest.

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Clover: Thanks for opening my message and not responding. Julien: All good bro, any time. Clover: Fuck you.

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Skipper: Today at 7 am, Rico poured a Monster energy drink in their coffee, said "I'm going to die" and drank the whole thing. Private: I watched Rico brew his coffee with Monster instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think he ascended into the astral realm. Kowalski: The survivability of the human race never fails to amaze me.

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King Julien: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container. Mort: The cow??? King Julien: What? Clover: Mort, W H Y?

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*The group is getting into the car* Skipper: I’m driving. Rico, out of view: Shotgun! Private, turning to face Rico: Aww! But you had it on the way here- Everyone except Rico: WOAH- Rico, holding a shotgun: No! I found a shotgun! And I want the front seat! *Pumps gun*

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Rico: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it. Marlene: Rico, no. Kowalski: Mistlefoe. Marlene: Please stop encouraging him.

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King Julien: In my defence, I was left unsupervised. Maurice: Wasn't Mort with you? Mort: In my defence, I was also left unsupervised.

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Private: Why are you on the floor? Rico: I'm depressed. Rico: Also I was stabbed, can you get Kowlaski, please.

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Marlene: Everytime I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke. Private: Okay, but what is updog? Skipper: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish. Maurice: No, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released. Alex: No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden. Kowalski: Surely, that’s Uppsala, what updog is is the giant spider in Harry Potter. Marlene: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs. Maurice: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current. Skipper: No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway. Private: What’s a henway?? Marlene: Oh, about five pounds.

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*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’* Marty: Thanks fam! Alex: oh no Melman: *cries* I love you too Skipper: Sounds fake but okay Gloria: *A flustered mess* Pancho: can i get a refund

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Julien: Is something burning? Mort: Just my love for you. Clover: Mort, the toaster is on fire.

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Maurice: WHAT’S YOUR TYPE Mort: Anything, honestly, but nerds especially Maurice, desperately, as Mort bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE Mort: Oh! B positive. Maurice: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE Mort:

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Clover: You fuckers don’t know about my knife stick. It’s a knife taped to a stick and it’s the ultimate weapon. Maurice, not looking up from his book: Spear. Clover: BLOCKED.

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Julien: You're 'the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans', what does that mean? Maurice: It means i was second worst thing to happen to those orphans. Julien: but what’s the first worst thing? *Awkward pause* Maurice: Jules, they...they weren’t always orphans. Julien:

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Skipper: Private and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's- Private: Sentences. Skipper: Don't interrupt me.

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Nurse Phantom, tending to Julien's wounds: How would you rate your pain? Julien: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.

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*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker* Skipper: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know. Everyone: Private: ...I did. I broke it. Skipper:No. No you didn't. Ringtail? King Julien: Don't look at me. Look at Maurice. Maurice: What?! I didn't break it. King Julien: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken? Maurice: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken. King Julien: Suspicious. Maurice: No, it's not! Kowalski: If it matters, probably not, but Marlene was the last one to use it. Marlene: Liar! I don't even drink that crap! Kowalski: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier? Marlene: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Kowalski! Private: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Skipper. Skipper: No! Who broke it!? Everyone: Kowalski: Sir... Julien's been awfully quiet. King Julien: rEALLY?! *Everyone starts arguing* Skipper, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. Skipper: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Skipper: Skipper: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.