THE MARVEL HOLE

A internet wormhole for the MCU (Black widow is the current obsession)

[madamn-melina]

But just imagine it- this family combo- if they had actually been cast all those years ago:

Alexei Shostakov:

Melina Vostokoff:

Natasha Romanoff:

Yelena Belova:

IT WOULD BE JUST AS GLORIOUS

[madamn-melina]

I’m convinced the reason Nat calls them peanut butter sandwiches IS IN FACT BECAUSE

ALEXEI FUCKING HAD TO MAKE LUNCH ONE TIME WHEN MELINA COULDN’T FOR THE GIRLS AND HE FORGOT THE JELLY.

And from there, the peanut butter sandwich was born.

Like:

*Melina walks into the kitchen in a rush because she woke up late*

*Alexei is assembling school lunches and putting them into bags*

Melina, breathlessly: “oh thank god. You covered my ass this morning. Why didn’t you wake me when you got up?”

Alexei: “You needed rest, love. Besides, I think I’m capable of making lunches and taking the girls to school for once.”

Melina, smiling, pouring herself a cup of coffee: “You know you’re the best, right?”

Alexei: “hehehehehe. I know.

Melina: “so what did you pack them?”

Alexei, proud: “An apple, some chips, carrots, and a peanut butter sandwich.”

Melina: “sorry, I think you mean, peanut butter and jelly. The American combo?”

Alexei: “peanut and what?”

Melina: …….

Alexei: …….

Melina: “Alexei, did you just put peanut butter on their sandwiches?”

Alexei: ……..

Melina: “well there’s no time to fix it, they’ll just have to eat it.”

Alexei: :))))))))

Melina: “but I’m making sure they know you made that mistake. I don’t want to deal with their whining later when they get home because their sandwich was JUST peanut butter.”

Alexei: :))))))))

And from there, it became the girls favorite.

[madamn-melina]

This is a friendly reminder:

Go write more Black Widow Fanfiction.

Much appreciated,

An adamant read with way too much time on their hands

P.S.

None of that heartbreaking bullshit, that ain’t gonna fix the pain I feel after the post credits scene. I NEED THE FLUFF.

P.S.P.S.

(As you have time of course, everybody is busy, I understand! I just mean if you have drafts you are unsure of or hesitant about, I’m sure they are great. I need stuff to read, baby yelena, baby nat, the Ohio years, mama Melina, and papa Alexei is the fluffiest, best content lol)

[madamn-melina]

You guys, Nat is alive.

Because I said so.

I’m going to pretend like that last minute death and shit didn’t happen.

After black widow, infinity war and endgame just didn’t happen. You know, Dreykov was killed and they helped the women that he filtered through the red room adjust to life and to use their skills for good.

Nat is living peacefully with her fam in Ohio right now in a house in the countryside with pigs and a nice training facility in the barn where they have family showdowns. She’s still an avenger and takes her plane to visit with them on occasion.

She goes on evening walks with Yelena and Fanny. Fanny plays in the creek while Yelena and Nat sit on the ground and discuss their memories from the brief childhood they experienced.

Melina and Alexei cook their girls dinner every night and everything is at it should be. They sit around the table together and talk about all the things they are going to do to make up for lost time.

Yes, that’s what happened.

I refuse to believe anything else.

[madamn-melina]

But do we think Melina has the streaks of red in her hair because Alexei is the red guardian?

Me thinks so.

[natsfireflies]

THEY LET ALEXEI AND MELINA KISS UNFOLLOW ME NOW THIS IS GONNA BE THE ONLY THING I POST ABOUT FOR THE NEXT WEEK IVE WANTED THIS FOR YEARS FUCK WHAT THE FUCK JFPAHDPAHSPABSPSHAPSJ

[madamn-melina]

IM ON THE FUCKING FLOOR SOBBING NOW ITS FINE IM FINE

[madamn-melina]

Normal people: “I work out because it’s a stress relief and over all, good for my health.”

Me: “I work out so that I can be an Avenger…..”

[natsfireflies]

random widow fam headcanons

• natasha is actually scared to death of spiders despite being nicknamed after one and so is alexei because the apple never falls too far from the tree

• yelena and melina aren't because they're curious instead of afraid and yelena gives nat so much shit for it

• melina had the time to teach natasha how to braid, but yelena was too young and to this day she hasn't learned how to, the braids she had at the beggining were made by a fellow widow and the ones she got when they went to release alexei from prison were braided by natasha

• yelena totally stole fanny from some rich asshole that didn't knew how to take care proper care of her (don't ask me how, i just know)

• alexei and melina would write back and forth while he was in the prison and that's how he knew exactly where she lived

• by extension, melina would've loved folklore because this while isolated cabin at the outskirts of saint petersburg shit just screams the lakes for me

• natasha was absolutely obsessed with nirvana since alexei blasted smells like teen spirit when they were riding back home from picking up some groceries

• yelena is a big time blanket hogger and she would totally dance around in her pj's before going to bed

• alexei is a completely useless cook, everytime he was in charge of any meal it would be take out or pb and jelly sandwiches (and nat secretly loved it)

• melina didn't had a job at first when they got to ohio because she was supposed to set the girls a steady routine, but then she gave up after six months because not only she couldn't trust a stranger to look after them but also because she didn't wanted them to be raised by nannies like she had been due to her parents being too busy with their jobs at KGB

• she also would've been a veterinarian or a botanist (or both because she's a badass that could totally do it)

feel free to add any of your own ;)

[madamn-melina]

I HAVE ONE THATS WEIRD AF BUT:

Alexei had his wedding band melted down to cap his teeth (if you look closely he has two or three gold teeth) because the prison wouldn’t let him keep his ring, but he found a way to convince them after he (purposely) knocked out a few teeth and requested to have replacements put in.

Melina, on the other hand, kept hers at her farm house on a small jewelry dish on her book shelves and would try it on from time to time.

We know they left with them on because their departure was so sudden, soooooo I had to come up with something!

[natsfireflies]

YOU'RE RIGHT, HE DIDN'T HAD THEM BEFORE PRISON LAJDLSJDLSJSKS oh my god i never would've noticed this, nice catch! plus, it's a nice (but probably painful) addiction to the tattoo he has on his shoulder of her face, this man really loves his wife lmao

[madamn-melina]

Omfg what if he had to hand draw his tattoo design of Melina for the prison guy to tattoo onto him… he didn’t have a picture of her soooooooo that’s about the only way.

THAT or he got it when they still lived in Ohio as a joke and she hated it.

Either one, really. The theories are endless.

[natsfireflies]

random widow fam headcanons

• natasha is actually scared to death of spiders despite being nicknamed after one and so is alexei because the apple never falls too far from the tree

• yelena and melina aren't because they're curious instead of afraid and yelena gives nat so much shit for it

• melina had the time to teach natasha how to braid, but yelena was too young and to this day she hasn't learned how to, the braids she had at the beggining were made by a fellow widow and the ones she got when they went to release alexei from prison were braided by natasha

• yelena totally stole fanny from some rich asshole that didn't knew how to take care proper care of her (don't ask me how, i just know)

• alexei and melina would write back and forth while he was in the prison and that's how he knew exactly where she lived

• by extension, melina would've loved folklore because this while isolated cabin at the outskirts of saint petersburg shit just screams the lakes for me

• natasha was absolutely obsessed with nirvana since alexei blasted smells like teen spirit when they were riding back home from picking up some groceries

• yelena is a big time blanket hogger and she would totally dance around in her pj's before going to bed

• alexei is a completely useless cook, everytime he was in charge of any meal it would be take out or pb and jelly sandwiches (and nat secretly loved it)

• melina didn't had a job at first when they got to ohio because she was supposed to set the girls a steady routine, but then she gave up after six months because not only she couldn't trust a stranger to look after them but also because she didn't wanted them to be raised by nannies like she had been due to her parents being too busy with their jobs at KGB

• she also would've been a veterinarian or a botanist (or both because she's a badass that could totally do it)

feel free to add any of your own ;)

[madamn-melina]

I HAVE ONE THATS WEIRD AF BUT:

Alexei had his wedding band melted down to cap his teeth (if you look closely he has two or three gold teeth) because the prison wouldn’t let him keep his ring, but he found a way to convince them after he (purposely) knocked out a few teeth and requested to have replacements put in.

Melina, on the other hand, kept hers at her farm house on a small jewelry dish on her book shelves and would try it on from time to time.

We know they left with them on because their departure was so sudden, soooooo I had to come up with something!

[madamn-melina]

Me, getting my vaccine: “SO I KNOW ITS HIGHLY UNREALISTIC BUTTTTTTTTT- WHAT ARE THE ODDS OF ME TURNING INTO A BLACK WIDOW NOW? ITS LIKE A SUPER SERUM, IT HELPS FIGHT AGAINST THE SPREAD OF COVID!”

The nurse: 👁👄👁

Me: ……. “Sorry, I got carried away.”

[madamn-melina]

the black widow fam around the dinner table pt. 2:

Natasha: “Mom?”

Melina: “Yes, Natasha?”

Natasha: “Why were Yelena and I never allowed to eat raw cookie dough as children?”

Melina, eyes widen: …….

Natasha: “are you good?”

Melina, looks to Alexei, panicked: ……

Alexei, sighing, then looking Natasha and Yelena in the eyes: “Girls, you know how we weren’t always the most…. affectionate parents?”

Yelena: “well yeah, we were an assignment…. And then we got sent back to the red room…. And we didn’t see you guys for like twenty-“

Alexei: “no, that’s not what I meant.”

Natasha: “what does this have to do with raw cookie dough?”

Melina, shaking her head at Alexei, still wide eyed:

Alexei: “Your mother didn’t let you eat it raw because we were never the most affectionate parents and well…. She thought on the off chance the two of you ate it and contracted salmonella and died that… we would be framed and our cover blown.”

Yelena: “you have to be shitting us. THATS WHY?”

Melina, just stands and exits the room, embarrassed:

Natasha: “you know for two people who are really smart, the two of you are really dumb.”

Alexei, missing the point: “HA. DID YOU HEAR THAT HONEY, SHE CALLED ME SMART.”

Yelena, muttering: “dipshit.”

[madamn-melina]

OMFG.

IN THE SCENE IN THE BEGINNING, WHEN ALEXEI IS WALKING INTO THE KITCHEN ON HIS LEFT ON THE WALL IS A BUNCH OF MARKINGS.

LIKE MELINA & ALEXEI HAVE BEEN FREAKING MEASURING THE GIRLS SO THEY CAN SEE THEM GROW OVER TIME. OMFG IM DEAD. 🥺 WTH.

[madamn-melina]

It had to be done.

[madamn-melina]

The entire black widow fam sitting around the dinner table:

Melina: “baby?”

Alexei: “Yes?”

Melina: “not you, idiot.”

Alexei: “WHAT?”

Melina, turning in the other direction: “baby?”

Natasha: “she’s asking for you, Yelena.”

Yelena: “wait I’m baby? I’m not a baby”

Melina: “but you’re MY baby.”

Yelena: “o-kay, but you didn’t even know me as a baby.”

Melina: “hush. Mama is always right.”

Alexei: “You know, I’m still mad that I’m not baby.”

A moment of awkward silence.

Melina: “baby, please pass the carrots.”

Alexei: *climbs across table knocking everything over to reach the bowl at the other end before Yelena does and then crawls backwards to his seat covered in food and hands the bowl to Melina*

Melina: “asshole.”

[madamn-melina]

I just have one thing to say….

“Yelena, it’s me. It’s mama.”

(That was real to me, I’m fine, I’m doing great)

[madamn-melina]

I feel like Melina would have totally called Yelena her “little duckling” because Yelena was inseparable from her for the first year and a half until she became attached to nat.

(Pls somebody write a fanfic for me now because this thought is literally making me want to sob)