Queen Of The Nerds

Hey! I'm Maddie, she/her, I don't even know what my sexuality is but it's not straight.

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I had a fist fight with an ostrich. It did not go well. I ended up in the hospital with one arm missing, and my brother walked into my hospital room, slapped me in the face, and gave me an ostrich egg with a bow tied around it.

[aslimewithagun]

A casualty of that Australian ostrich war?

[that-crazy-australian]

There was no ostrich war

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Stop denying history

[shrimplorde]

the emu war is fake and it was just made up to make us look bad

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Exactly. You lost to ostriches.

[switchofsafety]

emu’s riding ostriches, quit covering up the truth

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Yghshwhheusuusjajaj I just had the best mental image

[maxkillertart]

They should just rerelease megamind. Dont even remaster it just start advertising it again

[twoofcups]

gordon ramsey: is the food good here?

underpaid server: 

[b0ggyb1tch]

[dadmech]

[twinky-dinky-doo]

[thegreenmeridian]

My favourite thing about that show is how he treats servers. It was also the source of some very intense fantasies when I was a barista of him busting into my cafe, calling my boss a fucking idiot, then taking me against the broken dishwasher.

[ishgardenjoyer]

[eightalenkos]

[salty-red-mage]

[did-meme-central]

[decorkiki]

Mens Fashion  - www.GoGetGlam.com

[bando--grand-scamyon]

…. *scribbles furiously on notepad*

[thedeanzlist]

Tips

[sunlit-music]

For the guys, butch women and non binary people all there. I’m a woman, but I’m reblogging this for anyone who finds this useful. ❤️

[ask-euroshipping-deactivated202]

This also helps for drawing. I like to draw characters in suits, especially characters who often wear suits with different styles so this really helps! ^^

[novas-grimoire]

This can also be helpful with writing when describing clothes and gives an idea of when clothes don’t fit right.

[damicantcope-deactivated2025101]

literally being trans I was never given any instruction on how to wear a suit ever, and I won’t get it anytime soon since I don’t have an even remotely fatherly figure in the house. so this was very thorough and very useful thank you

[sugarcoatednightshade]

I’m nonbinary and honestly this is a gift from the gods for me

[radicalurbanista]

Amazon workers in Alabama are attempting to unionize

tweet

Amazon is texting workers multiple times a day.

Amazon has anti-union posters in the bathrooms.

Amazon managers are using temp workers to advertise “Vote No” on unionizing, knowing they’re leveraging economic power and vulnerability.

Amazon and the city traffic management colluded to change the traffic signals so that drivers have no time to stop and talk to union organizers.

Workers begin voting Monday (2/8/21) on whether or not to unionize. This would be the first union in Amazon.

This comes days after it was revealed Amazon was stealing drivers’ tips.

[tgvqaz]

(my Thanks to: Abby Normal)

[littlefreya]

2020 in a nutshell

[nd2tx97]

way to go 45

[forcedfarce44]

[withered-rose-with-thorns]

Kristen Stewart as Sabina Wilson in Charlie’s Angels (2019) dir. Elizabeth Banks

[guerrillatech]

[twenty-something-year-old-deact]

The memes about the stimulus check give me life.

[exculis]

“ Remove the first 4 letters from your name and add Fuck. “

this is people with 4 letter name oppression. my name is now just Fuck. height of comedy.

[ew-lour]

Fucknelle

[grnfog]

Fuckis

[valtsv]

Megamind was a murderer and a dictator and a catfisher but go off.

i didnt know hal the incel camera guy had a tumblr

[ruaken]

Megamind never actually succeeded at any crime he attempted and his most used weapon was a “freeze” ray that could be reversed by rain/sprinkler/any water with zero negative side effects and when he actually achieved authority over others he was so bored and disillusioned with it he set off a plan to overthrow himself did anon even watch the movie or

[adeadlemonliving]

[official-daft-punk-deactivated2]

ok so the other day i was at sears. I was in the baby section. Im standing there looking at clothes and a lady who works there comes up and is like “oh are you expecting?” And i was like “uhhhh” and because im a dumbass i was like “no i already delivered.” And she was like “How long ago?” And i was just like “two weeks.” And she said “wow! You look great! When i had my first son, i looked like a mess for six months. Is it a boy or a girl?” And i was just awkwardly like “a girl….” And she asked her name and i said Chernobyl and she was like “oh what a cute name! It sounds really familiar.” And i honestly just stood there going through all that and pretending i had a human baby two weeks ago named Chernobyl because i didnt wanna tell this poor lady i was buying baby clothes for my fucking baby opossum

[itchiez-deactivated20221227]

every time i see this text post i forget the ending and every single time it decimates me

[crafty-butch]

having one of those executive function days where everything is too many steps

[crafty-butch]

by which i mean, like, here's how my brain parses the steps in making coffee

good day:

make coffee

regular day:

put water in coffee maker

put coffee in coffee maker

turn on coffee maker

bad day:

take pot from coffee maker

turn on sink

fill up coffee pot

turn off sink

pour water into coffee maker

put coffee pot in coffee maker

open cupboard

get coffee filter from cupboard

get coffee beans from cupboard

put filter in coffee pot

measure coffee

pour coffee into filter

close coffee maker

turn coffee maker on

anyway this is a "14 steps to make coffee" kind of day

[kieraelieson]

This is actually a really good way of explaining this

[megpie71]

I describe this as “spoon granularity” - some days are coarse-grained, where you can just go for the rough outlines of things and that’s one spoon.  Some days are fine-grained, where every single step in things is going to be one spoon.  How do you know which day you’re having at present?  About the point where you effectively run out of spoons after getting out of the shower...

[weight-a-second]

concept: me, a housewife, putting two lean cuisines in the microwave. i drink an entire bottle of chardonnay during the four minutes the chicken fettuccine takes to heat up. my husband walks through the door just as i place the entrée on the table. he thanks me for slaving away all day over a hot stove. i have succeed in passing the lean cuisine off as my own creation. when he’s done, i tell him im in love with our maid, helen–who bears a striking resemblance to margot robbie–and that i will see him in court. im blind drunk and jump into a 1960s pink convertible that helen is driving. we laugh about the lean cuisines.

[animatedtext]

this is the best post on this fucking website

[teathattast]

[spaghettioverdose-deactivated20]