(Mental health, death, suicide t/w)
Hello everybody. I personally feel I need to do some kind of … reminder, for those who still feel lost, disconnected, deeply hurt and experience many other dark feelings. Right now, there’s people who are already hurting Jonghyun’s memory and other fellow shawols because, as human beings, seem it take us terrible efforts to learn from the past to become better in the future. Humans, we can be truly terrible sometimes, truly cold, heartless, selfish. But I know some of you are not terrible. You’re only afraid, you’re hurt, you’re broken. So, I’m gonna tell you some things that you shouldn’t forget in any single moment throughout these days, weeks and probably years. Please, read carefully.
— You matter. You always do.
— You can feel alone, but you are not. There will be always someone right beside you. Not physically, but there’s always somebody who will feel happy to listen to you.
— You can take your moments to be alone, and don’t feel ashamed to go back to your beloved ones and talk with them again. People should respect your moments to be alone and to be accompanied.
— Nobody has the right to invalidate your feelings. In situations like this, it’s incredibly hard to stop thinking and pretending everything’s fine, because it’s not true. Love has different expressions and meanings. If you love and miss Jonghyun, nobody can invalidate that. Nobody.
— Nobody has to understand you, but they must respect you. If some people can’t, they don’t deserve your time and your words.
— Everybody has their different times and ways to live their grieving. It might take days for ones, weeks for others, years. As also people express their feelings in different ways.
— Express yourself. Say what you need to say. As said above, nobody has to agree with you, just express yourself. Say it. You have your own voice, use it. Don’t let it consume your inner self.
— Let others express themselves. In the same way you want others to respect your feelings and your own time, do the same with others. It’s something that can be reciprocal.
— Don’t judge someone else’s words because they’re showing suffering through their words. Their heart is speaking with honesty, their heart needs to set free the negativity. Don’t tell them to go to hell only because you can’t understand what they’re trying to express.
— Be nice. Don’t hurt others because they don’t experience this situation the same way you do. If you feel uncomfortable, you can simply ignore. So simple.
— If you can’t transform your feelings into words, free yourself through other activities. You can paint, you can dance, you can dress up in different ways, you can go walk, you can laugh or cry. Everything is useful if it’s something that can make you feel good at least for a short while. We can transform anything into art, into something we need to express.
— If you feel uncomfortable with yourself, remember there’s always opportunities for forgiveness and change. We can’t change the past, but we can decide how to live our present as persons.
— If you feel this process of grieving is definitely ruining your mental health, please search for professional help. You don’t have to be afraid if it goes wrong, there can be other chances, other people. There will be someone who can help you. Don’t be afraid.
— I can’t promise you’ll stop hurting soon, but I promise it will hurt less someday.
And these, are my comments toward people who, even after all, are cold, selfish and ignorant:
— Let Jonghyun rest in peace. Which means: don’t use his name in fanwar material, don’t use his memory to mess up about serious issues as mental health, depression, suicide, etc. Spread the importance to talk about these last issues without using his name, basically because Jonghyun doesn’t deserve to be remembered as the “guy who killed himself”, but as “the artist, with his bright and dark sides, who healed many others”. Just, don’t use him. It’s easy. Let him rest. Let us take care of his memory peacefully.
— Let Jinki, Kibum, Minho and Taemin find their peace. I understand some of you want them to continue, I understand some of you don’t because you are worried about what they could feel in the future. The thing is: whatever is your opinion, remember they have lost more than a member of SHINee. They have lost a human being incredibly important for them, a work mate, a brother, a friend. Jonghyun is irreplaceable in SHINee and in their lives. Let them take their own time. As much as you need SHINee, they also need time to find peace. They need it more than we do, they need it more than we can imagine. Right now, it isn’t about SHINee. It’s about four human beings who have lost a member of their family. For once, let them think about themselves first.
— Respect Jonghyun’s family and friends. As previously said, there’s people who have already used Jonghyun’s passing to offend his close friends and also his family. Right now they don’t need your judgement, they need your respect. If you don’t feel like even respecting, then ignore. That’s all.
Remember you can always find me here or through my personal profiles to talk. I’ll be always here. I’m… incredibly broken while seeing the attitudes that I’m seeing, so I hope that if there’s someone who’s honestly missing Jonghyun, who’s honestly missing SHINee, I can be helpful for them. Please, everybody, never forget you matter.
jbbartram-illu
gummygunk
baratheonpilled
kianamaiart
origamiaround
ellievsbear
