𓆩♡𓆪

30 $madewithmei

[madewithmei]

Retiring this blog and making a new one. If you’re not a weirdo and we’ve spoken, message me :)

[madewithmei]

I just wanna kiss and be kissed on all day 🥺

[madewithmei]

I like stroking my cock to your posts, why don’t you help me instead?

Okayyyyy, but I’m new to this….

[madewithmei]

Can we share a blunt and make each other c*m all night? 🥹

[madewithmei]

Gonna go c*m, y’all need anything?

[madewithmei]

Soft skin and I perfumed it for ya 😇

[madewithmei]

Don’t lie, your d*ck did a lil jump when my name crossed your screen. 🤨

[madewithmei]

One click of the ♡ and I’ll take a nap.

[madewithmei]

I had to take a pause while reading today. I’m trying not to freak out because the words I read today were exactly the words I’ve been trying to convey in conversations I’ve held with people just yesterday.

I’m on this section about meditation and medication. I don’t think I’ve ever properly “meditated”. Quieting my mind is fucking hard, and I guess I just haven’t put enough effort to unlocking that practice for me. Through reading this book, I’m not trying to become “spiritually awakened”, I’m just learning of different ways to help my mind. Meditation would be a great tool, but for the time being, medication is the step I’m on.

This quote made me laugh but also sad because it’s something I’ve thought about intensely. I had to stop reading because I noticed I started tearing up. So I’m just sitting with it for now.

“Don’t medications numb the very experiences we are trying to unconditionally accept? Wouldn’t liberation be impossible if we were on medication? It’s hard to imagine the Buddha reaching for Prozac while under the bodhi tree.” lol

My answer is it can create a degree of emotional numbing (dependence is a huge factor as well), but “when fear is too overwhelming, medical intervention may be the most compassionate response…medications make it possible for some people to ‘stop anxiously doing and just sit there.’”

…And that’s just it. I’m being kind to my brain and finding the support to work through the now until I’ve created strength within myself to pause in the presence of fear, shame, etc differently. It took me up until a few years ago to accept this help for myself. That journey can look different for everyone!

[madewithmei]

Ya Allah has blessed my dashboard with these posts lining up 😅🙏🏾

That’s fuckin hilarious 😂 Love it.

[madewithmei]

Favourite position ?

I would say flex. I main support and damage usually. Tank isn’t my cup of tea, but I’m willing to adapt to what the team needs. I have the most fun playing snipe or range characters.

[madewithmei]

What are you currently reading? 🙂

I’m about a third way through Radical Acceptance. Since last year, I’ve been balancing a fiction book with a non-fiction one (my current fiction read is The Fellowship of the Ring 🤪). Zooming out, I think this has been a good balance for me because LOTR allows my brain to imagine, think, and explore, while non-fiction allows me to do the same—just within the confines of my reality.

I’ve been digging both reads. Something I’m actively digesting with Radical Acceptance is that…

It’s true. No one is going to come save me (J Cole voice: don’t save her, she don’t wanna be saved lmao). Positive, negative, or neutral, the shit that is currently happening? …well, it’s happening. Acknowledging this fact does not sway the situation in a good or bad direction. Additionally, pausing to accept this fact halts my mind from spiraling and creating random ass scenarios in my head. Instead of feeling trapped in that moment, inadequate, or whatever emotion, I can notice that this shit sucks while still being able to move on from that trance. Depression/anxiety has consumed and debilitated me for far too long, and I hope I’m able to practice this acceptance moving forward. I know I can’t rid myself of these illnesses at the drop of a dime, but I want to equip myself with a mind that is kind and understanding—especially to myself because fuck, I deserve it.

I have so much love to give and still so much to learn. I don’t want my mind and heart, the only things that are mine in this world, to be working against me. Do you know what I mean?

[pr0f3550r-deactivated20241006]

[madewithmei]

Reminder: I owe you nothing. You’re not entitled to me.

[madewithmei]

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how I absolutely need to exercise the activity of creating something with my hands to be happy. I just seem to really like making tangible things (despite working almost exclusively digitally careerwise). Drawing, sewing, crocheting, woodworking—I haven’t come across things like this where I don’t want to at least try it out. More often than not, I love it. When my mind is running a million miles an hour, sitting down and crocheting for hours makes my evening so much more bearable and peaceful. I barely notice the time go by.

Anyway, I came across this phrase called effort driven reward cycle randomly earlier today. I want to read up more on it, so I didn’t want my brain to forget and have someone remind me later after I take this fat nap. 😴

[madewithmei]

I think life would be infinitely better if I can grind life like an rpg and have little pop-ups and earn exp. Sigh.

[classof1999]