I often don’t know how to start introductions, it’s like my mind goes completely blank when I try to think of what to say, so, if you’d really like to get to know me (just as friends), don’t be scared to message! ( ^ω^ ) MDNI 💕 I’m 20 years old.
Unless you act creepy, I’m in a relationship and I’m not interested. I’m very nice, I promise, I love to talk to many interesting people. (^o^)/💕 I’m also here if you need to vent or talk about things that’s bothering you, I’m like a therapist friend. <3
What I’ll Be Posting <3
My personal poems, based on how I feel, about certain topics, or just random thoughts that came to my mind. I usually write poetry when I feel deeply, which I guess is most of the time. Haha
Short/Longer stories. I don’t write stories as much as I write poems, but when I do, I really enjoy writing about deep and emotional subjects. Things that really make you feel and see things from different perspectives. That’s what art is about after all.
My sketches and drawings, but I’m not very good and I don’t draw that often. Most of my art will usually be traditional, and I will most likely be sharing just to get tips and advice. Hehe Because I’m not necessarily new at drawing, but I always feel I want to improve. I’m still experimenting with my style and techniques, but I really enjoy it.
Outfits/Selfies. I also really enjoy fashion and dressing up sometimes, it makes me feel pretty. I suppose I do have a specific style, soft, girly, but honestly I just wear what makes me feel good and confident! Most of the time I’m dressed like Adam Sandler. :3 hahaha
Aesthetic Photos/Photography, or at least photos I find to be aesthetic and pretty. I guess this goes with the outfits and selfies as well, because I try to take good photos despite not being very photogenic. I enjoy thrifting, and sometimes you see very unique, vintage things there that I find very interesting. I have so many pictures! Haha
I feel very passionate about my stories, poetry, and things I share, so I hope I can find people who are also interested in it. 💕 I enjoy anything that’s deep and emotional, and I love things that make me feel emotions and give me new perspectives. I’m very open minded, and I love to see what other people’s minds and perspectives look like. ( ^ω^ )
As I slowly ran my hand through the cats soft yet messy fur, I wondered if he had ever felt a gentle touch before, one with genuine warmth and admiration.
Before gaining his trust, the trust that now seems so special between him and me, he was very timid and skittish. I would carefully reach out my hand, only for him to flinch and run away.
Though, I couldn’t just give up on him, never. Even though he could not talk, his eyes told me everything he felt, they were like a mirror to his soul.
I knew that he wanted to trust, he wanted to feel admired, he wanted to feel loved… but the hands he was dealt with before, did not show him such things.
So in this moment, with my hand gently rubbing against his chin, I can see in his eyes, a sense of shock, a sense of uncertainty, as if he had never experienced it before.
Trigger Warning: Graphic description + slight gore. This short story may be disturbing to some.
A very short story, only about a 5 or 10 minute read. Interpret it in any way you feel.
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When I was little, around 10 or 11, the stray cat that had made its home under our rundown trailer had kittens.
As a little girl, I was very excited, unlike my grandparents I lived with, who weren't very fond of cats. I remember spending all day outside despite it being so hot, just so I could hold and play with the kittens. It made me feel a sense of comfort. They were so trusting, so curious, it made me feel the need to protect them. I would often crawl under the trailer with them and watch as they fed from their mother. The mother cat trusted me. She would let me watch and pet her on the head as the kittens fed from her. I would watch them peacefully, and the sight made me feel very happy.
I couldn't help but notice how exhausted the mother seemed sometimes. She always had such a plain expression for a cat, her eyes almost seemed empty when she would look at me. I felt bad for the mother. She was all alone in this world, taking care of her children. It reminded me of my own mother, and that exhausted look, the empty, defeated eyes... felt all too familiar. The way the mother walked looked as if she had the weight of the whole world on her back. She was slow, kept her head down as if she didn't have enough strength to lift it up, and her fur was always disheveled. Every day, I would spend time with her and the kittens. I would wake up every morning and sit with them, until one morning... I didn't see the mother. Every morning after that, I would wait for her, but I never saw her again.
It was just the kittens and me now.
I sometimes wondered if the momma cat ran off because she was so exhausted and couldn't take it anymore, or if she went off to die. My grandmother would always tell me that sometimes animals do that. When they feel their bodies declining, when they know they will die soon, they will go off and find a peaceful place to lie, until they eventually close their eyes, never to open them again. I don't know how true that is, but I like to think that the mother found a nice, peaceful place, and had a good dream about her kittens before she died.
The kittens learned how to walk and run, and they grew even more curious. The more they grew and walked, the further they'd venture into the woods. I tried to stop them from venturing too far, but they were just too curious, too trusting, too naive. They didn't understand the dangers the woods held for them, they were innocent. As some time passed, the kittens disappeared, one after the other, until there were only 2 left out of the litter of 5. It made me feel sad. I would often imagine where they went, where they were, and if they were still alive. That maybe they found nice homes somewhere and felt happy, or at least their deaths... weren't that painful.
One day, I had gone out to check on the two kittens like I usually did. I heard loud, high-pitched meows. It sounded painful, desperate. As I slowly made my way towards the noise, I had felt my heart racing, until I had felt it sink when I laid my eyes on the kitten. Its two small front legs looked as if they had been snapped in half. Flies were buzzing all around it, near its legs. One was completely gone, I couldn't even see a bone. It was just a hole and flesh. The other one was barely attached, it was just hanging by some skin. The kitten oddly wasn't bleeding, but there was blood on its disheveled fur. It was meowing loudly, and I still remember how painful it sounded.
I started crying, and I ran to my grandparents. I remember wrapping the cat up in a towel, and I stayed with it all day as it cried in pain. I tried to clean it, feed it, water it, help it in any way a little girl could... The next day when I went to check on it again, it was still alive, but around its legs, inside the hole, dozens of maggots were eating the flesh around it. The aroma of the cat, one I’ll ever forget, already smelt like a dying corpse. The cat was still alive, still meowing, still trying to move around. I felt in that moment as I watched it, sadness and pain for it, but I also felt so traumatized witnessing it. Maggots were eating it alive... maybe that's how we feel sometimes… Maybe that's how the momma cat felt inside…
Maybe we feel like maggots are eating us all alive.
Maybe the maggots to the momma cat, was her own children… maybe thats why she left. Maybe that’s why my momma left…
I felt there was nothing I could do for the kitten, except just watch and cry with it. It felt as if the kitten was looking me straight in the eyes, meowing and crying in pain, as if it was begging me to make it go away. Make it all go away. But I didn’t know how to make it go away, I didn’t know how to make the pain stop, even within myself…
It’s crying, it’s meowing, it’s desperation, completely took over my mind. I knew there was nothing I could do for her… but maybe, I could make it all go away. I grabbed the largest rock I could carry, and I slowly lifted it up above her. I quickly looked away from the kitten and closed my eyes, I couldn’t even dare to look at her pained face, the face just like the momma cat always had. My hands were shaking, my heart was racing, but I knew, this would make it all go away…
At least now, she feels no pain. At least now, she feels and knows nothing at all. At least, it finally all went away.
This is my first post on here and I just joined today!! I still don’t know how to work everything on here and it’s a bit confusing. (T ^ T) Hehe but I really like it so far and it seems really interesting. I came here to share my poems, short stories, and some of my art. Perhaps I’ll also occasionally share my outfits (because I’m also into fashion as well) and random pictures. I’m still trying to get the vibe and feel on what people usually post on here. Hehehe if you want to be friends, don’t be scared to message me!!! ~\(≧▽≦)/~💕💕
