hmm...

they/he

[wingkink]

btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here

[fagcrisis]

i hate the word spicy can we bring back calling things erotic

[maryoliveoil]

rolling up to Wendy's to get an erotic chicken sandwich

[shopcat]

look at this wonderful gif of scallops getting scared and scattering like a flock pigeons

[elioftheasphodel]

whatever. go my scallops

[whitachi]

last night I had the experience of "referencing a tumblr post that you think is widely known but turns out to not be as widely known as you thought it was" last night and it was this post. whatever. go my scallops

[the-quasar-hero]

It’s SO obvious that some of y’all are incredibly mad that my wizard hat is bigger and supremely balanced.

[schakira]

okay... i can still see the folds on your wizard robe... iron it.

[the-quasar-hero]

Now I know you ain’t talking with ya dusty ass grimoire. That bad boy is held together with scotch tape, spit, and faith. Helpful hint: you want the spines of your enemies to break, not your magical tomes.

[schakira]

no cause it's really cute hearing that from you when last i checked your grimoire isn't being passed down from generation to generation. i know you got it from walmart with your dollar store lookin ass staff. you can keep your hint.

[the-quasar-hero]

I just think it’s funny you think anything that isn’t dusted and busted like your grimoire is somehow less authentic, when the reality is you a broke ass wizard who can’t get your coin up! You gotta use hand-me-downs cuz no king wants to make use of your services! Maybe you should dress like this isn’t the third century and ppl would visit your sad lil’ wizard tower. Your grimoire so old I bet that shit got spells to deal with dinosaurs. I got a spell in mine to make wifi anywhere. Oh, and I know you ain’t talking about staffs when you carry around that plywood looking ass shit. You tryna conjure forth a Home Depot employee?

[schakira]

you scroll-stuffing spell stealing nasty little SLUT

[the-quasar-hero]

Nuh-uh, bitch, try again.

[entguarde]

And I’m supposed to listen to you two when you both wear TRAFFIC CONE HATS?? Hate to tell you this buds, but I do think that the plastic hat kinda matches y’all’s plastic fashion taste and y’all’s plastic ass spells.

Yours truly, the wizard frog

[schakira]

DO NOT INTERRUPT US

[afrophunk]

You talk all this mess about wizard hats, and yet I don't ever see you wearing one 🤔

[the-quasar-hero]

FYM?

[afrophunk]

That's just a purple traffic cone

Ain't got no class

No drip

Just goofy-

[the-quasar-hero]

FYM?

[afrophunk]

GUCCI be selling $300 bathroom sandals

Still look goofy in that GUCCI

[the-quasar-hero]

Hmmm, yes counterpoint:

DIE

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

you guys are ruining brunch

[wizard-of-kindness]

"WHILE WE HAVE A MOMENT, HOW BEST SHOULD I GO ABOUT APPLICATIONS FOR A NEW GANGRENEOUS SERVANT?"

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

That would be form 44-AAAAAaaaaAaa AAA ah! whose familiar just bit me?!

[evilwizard]

Dude. DUDE. HUMPTY DUMPTY JUST FELL. YOU NEED TO SEE THIS ALL THE KINGS MEN ARE THERE TRYING TO GET HIM BACK TOGETHER. THIS IS SO FUCKED DUDE. IM SO SCARED. HE'S DEAD

🖐️ stand aside. only the court necromancer can save him now. we must pray his body isn’t too broken…

[evilwizard]

WTF are the horses doing

[horse-is-a-horse-of-course]

i don't fucking know i tried my best but i think we made it worse with our big hooves

[evilwizard]

WHY WERE YOU INVOLVED AT ALL ??

[horse-is-a-horse-of-course]

i don't knowwww *kicks in frustration and hits humpty dumpty again* fuckkkkkkk

[evilwizard]

STOP

[smoov-criminal]

OCD symptom i struggle with but don't see talked about a lot: inability to trust your own memory and/or perception.

as an example: i put my headphones in my bag. i say im sure they're in my bag, but what if i imagined putting them in my bag? i have to check, so i stick my hand inside and grab them. but then i have to check *again* because what if i just so happened to have another object shaped and sized exactly like my headphones that i just forgot about? so i have to pull them out of my bag and look directly at them to fully confirm they were in my bag

this is a fairly benign example but this also happens with other worse scenarios for me and it's. not fun

[guropervert]

why does birthday suit only mean being butt naked. what about being covered in blood head to toe. that was kinda a big deal at birth

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

the king has abruptly fired 60% of his wizard staff, so he’s about to be abruptly surprised at who floated 100% of his formerly floating sky castle

[aspiringwarriorlibrarian]

Digital de-aging is bad not just because it always looks creepy as fuck no matter how much money they pour into it, but because it deprives me of getting to see the fucking black magic of a) the casting director somehow finding someone who looks unnervingly like the original actor despite not being related at all and b) the actors completely convincing me that they are, in fact, the same person at different times in their life.

[matrixdragon]

And occasionally, the amusement of sticking a bad wig and some makeup on the original actor and just demanding we accept they're a teenager now.

[i-like-rocks22]

It's both this:

And also this:

I love them both, your honour.

[pastapodcaster]

Why does everyone write Merlin like he’s some soft boy if this dude had a gun he’d use it everyday

[lovrboyx]

The Last Unicorn really said “There will be times when you can’t find other people like you and there will be times where you'll wonder if you're really the only person experiencing the world as you are and others will even try to take advantage of you through commodification and exploitation to the point where it starts to dilute your own sense of self and will make you question if you were ever you to begin with but it’s important for to resist the urge to assimilate and find community because there will always be people like you who will understand and have experienced these same things and the only way to combat a dark world who wants to smother your light is to FIGHT FIGHT RAGE AGAINST THE RED BULL DO NOT GO GENTLY INTO THAT OCEAN.”

And I just think there’s something beautifully and inextricably queer about that

[itsrainingshadybitches]

[tygermama]

“We heard youse are behind on your payments to Fat Tony.”

[defydamage]

I ALMOST SPIT MY ROOTBEER

[gallusrostromegalus]

“Think you’re all aesthetic, huh? A real instagram Wiseguy!  You want something to blog about? We’ll give ya something to blog about!”

[quendergeer]

the nature of tumblr is such that every few years it will independently invent goodfeathers

[pocket-deer-belly]

it is honestly kind of funny to take the stance that BMI isn't enourmously problematic because the weight classifications have been "adjusted" since its inception when the real problem of "it is literally just your height divided by your weight, which tells you fuck all about the status of someone's health" is still fundamentally there

[sans-guy-deactivated20251217]

hey guys i'm going to the store can u make sure nothing happens to my chocolate milk

[sans-guy-deactivated20251217]

[thedreadvampy]

Everywhere I go I'm reminded how much the desire to punish homelessness and migration and other Undesirablenesses make society markedly worse for everyone

like why is the park locked after 5pm so I can't go and sit under a tree after work? to punish rough sleepers for the terrible crime of being homeless and alive

why do I have to buy a drink, beg for a code and fuck around with an awkward keypad for 5 minutes in order to take a piss? because fuck homeless people

why do I need to provide proof of address and photo ID to do everything? because we had to create a really hostile environment for migrants

why can't you sit anywhere? well because god forbid people sleep when they're pushed out of shelter. can't risk that.

every day governments, councils and businesses make your life worse as a side effect of making vulnerable people's lives WAY worse. if you're ok with that you're a fucking idiot and if you're in favour of it you're a vindictive cunt cause again literally the ONLY payoff for your life getting worse is other people's lives getting worser.

[drolta]

I hope your favorite blonde haired blue eyed character has a black person cast to portray them

[worms-for-brains]

Me when it’s fish time