the universe's secret

I'm a light sleeper but a heavy dreamer

[maesdiaryon]

"There's some people in this world who you can just love and love and love no matter what" - John Green . . . That "some" for me including these two in the frame. Uwuwuuuu~ 🤪 Nothing but a great thankfull for these two mentors of mine. Sunbae-nim who taught me that I'm capable and deserve the tittle. Even believe when I thought it was imposible. I used to hate numbers (Well, actually I'm still) but these peoples made me conquer my own self. Used to see that query-ing as a cool nerdy kind of thing and now I become one of 'not so cool' nerdy (baru bisa left join doang 🤣🤏) I know I'm gonna be a bit lost for not having one of these two around, but I'll always wish for your great happiness @galih1909 @pungkywardhani ❤ No, I'm not crying, I'm trying to keep my cool 🥺 #AkuGundahDitinggalTerus https://www.instagram.com/p/CJv5_X-nT_HNKwftD-peGFA0Src1PoViifkbiE0/?igshid=3cdbl7mdte1

[maesdiaryon]

"50 thousand years before the sky was introduced to the sea, Allah wrote down your name next to me" - A . . . 2020 ; most people found it was harder but also found the good. I found it to be the best year as I decided to take a leap of faith, to be married to the one who've been there and still for the last 12 years (+8 months) by my side. The one that I always called supermine for he always make me laugh and make these years feel short and worth the wait. The man who make me believe from the very first time that I want no one else but him. My growing up partner, held my hand thru our twenties up to "soon to be" thirties and forever. 2021 ; "I wonder where your world ends. Wherever it is though, I'm certain that I'll be there with you" - Kim Jin Hyuk (encounter) @surahman_akhmad #super12 https://www.instagram.com/p/CJgnGWnncz4t46ndaB3fvmwEzQ5XOfLHo1eGMs0/?igshid=ld0ida39gx0y

[maesdiaryon]

"Accept me the way you embrace the moon. Gracefully in a daze of love, even with all of its phase and flaws" - A . . . #throwback #northsulawesi #celebes #manado #tasikriaresort https://www.instagram.com/p/CG73ixjHsy5wJRcpfH0niAhHZgOQM1sscuB1vg0/?igshid=1o6fcu2w8y6p9

[maesdiaryon]

"Lost ; is a lovely place to find yourself" - A . . . #throwback #northsulawesi #celebes #manado #minahasautara #pulisanbeach https://www.instagram.com/p/CGK_ZqYHPqz0vlgj2KVH4-ygKkBg-cPqbh_g6I0/?igshid=t7rn6omd2qfb

[maesdiaryon]

Day 03 - A Memory

"We didn't realize we were making memories. We just know we were having fun"

Since I have so many memories that I cherish.... (misal : nonton konser CNBLUE, Jalan-jalan ke luar negri gapake duit sendiri, and the list goes on...) karena Alhamdulillah hidup saya masih bisa dimasukin ke kategori "fun" 😉, jadi justru mau ngomongin tentang memori yang justru saya gapunya.

Apa ?

Kenangan mengenai opa oma (orang tua dari nyokap) yang gaperna saya punya.

Kenapa malah special ?

Karena sampai hampir 30 tahun hidup, sampai detik ini jadinya suka bertanya-tanya dengan kata "what if...."

Karena opa oma meninggal (cuma selang seminggu or 2 minggu setelah oma, opa nyusul) pas saya baru masuk sekolah dasar dan bahkan gabisa ikut pulang ke Menado saat itu. Dulu sih ya gak berasa apa-apa karena masih kecil dan they are (mostly) like stranger to me karena emang gaperna ketemu sejak gue lahir.

Kenapa bisa gak ketemu ?

Banyak faktor sih. Kondisi ekonomi keluarga saat itu (kalo tau harga tiket JKT - MENADO pasti paham), umur mereka yang sudah bukan masanya bisa nyaman terbang, etc.

Tapi makin saya dewasa, justru makin familiar. Semakin merasa yakin "andai mereka masih ada", saya pasti jadi cucu kesayangan (pede bgt asli) karena saya cucu paling bungsu dari anak mereka yang paling bungsu juga. Makin kenal sama mereka, saya makin merasa bukan cuma rasa sayang tapi juga rasa bangga karena tau opa yang termasuk orang paling tajir sekampung tapi dermawan banget dan oma yang terkenal bawel rusuh di kampung tapi banyak yang mengakui karismatiknya beliau.

Iya. Jadi saya yang literary have no idea gimana rasanya punya opa oma bisa kenal, paham, dan membangun kenangan yang saya gapunya tentang mereka justru dari kenangan yang dimiliki sama anak dan cucu-cucu beliau.

Tahun ini syukur sudah mampu biayain diri sendiri dan mama buat terbang ke Menado setelah hampir 20 tahun mama gak perna pulang dan merealisasikan kenangan angan-angan saya buat liat langsung rumah opa oma (sampe sekarang masih ada walaupun kosong) dan ziarah ke kuburnya.

[maesdiaryon]

Day 02 - Things that make me happy

It isn't so hard, really 😂

1. Have a normal family and not so many bestEST friends that I know I can always count on

2. Go to the beautiful places where I've never been before, and beautiful places where 've been. I mean, hey... wherever is fine as long as I can always take a deep breath for a moment while just watching sun being set and rise 😊

3. Have a long term relationship with a boy, then now a man, who are not only a boyfriend but also my partner in anything I do, have done, and will do

4. My cat being a healty and chubby one

5. Lying around watching korean drama

6. Fangirling freely

7. A good working place with a good workmates

DONE ! 😉

[maesdiaryon]

Day 01 - My Personality

Perempuan capricorn.

Eh gimana ? Percaya zodiak banget ? Enggak kok 🤪

Buktinya, saya gaperna setuju sama yang bilang kalo capri ambisius. Karena rasanya, "kayanya gue gak seambisius dan seoptimis itu" 🤔

Walaupun emang, anaknya suka pengen yang enggak-enggak (kadang cenderung halu) tapi sebisa mungkin saya maunya berpikir realistis dan sesuai logika gue aja mungkin atau enggak, dan gak usah yang susah-susah banget lah hidup aja udah lumayan susah nih 🤣

Dari dulu selalu berpegang sama sebuah quote "untuk hidup tak perlu harus mati. ngapain lawan arus kalo ikut arus bisa selamat"

Iya. Anaknya pasrah bgt ya ? Tapi jangan salah. Sebagai anak perempuan dari nyokap menado dan bokap sunda (oke gak nyambung), saya gamau kalah dalam berargumen apalagi menyangkut prinsib dan nilai hidup yang emang saya pegang. Gak perduli tetangga, netizen, bahkan keluarga mau bilang apa. Walaupun caranya adalah dengan "memilih diam" dan gak merespon balik, ya isi kepalanya udah batu dan gabisa dirubah.

Namun yang sudah sangat teruji adalah loyalitas a.k.a kesetiaan saya (kalo gabisa dibilang semua perempuan capri) 😋.

Setia sama siapa nih ?

Sama keluarga, karena saya sangat berusaha menjadi anak yang baik bagi kedua orangtua serta seorang kaka. Suka makan hati kadang, tapi ya tetep bakal lakuin.

Setelah itu, sama pacar. Jelas. Pacaran sudah lebih dari 12 tahun nih, belum ganti, belum pernah putus, belum pernah selingkuh juga. Untungnya dapet lawan seimbang, seorang laki-laki taurus. Semoga kita imbang selalu ya ! ❤

Terakhir, sama sahabat. Sahabat saya gak banyak. Sedikit ! Maka dari itulah saya sungguh gamau cari masalah jadi nambah musuh. Hahaha. Masa temen < musuh ? Gak apa sedikit, yang penting quality over quantity.

[maesdiaryon]

All of the things that keep happening these last 2 yrs, suddenly hit me in my head today. Then I thought maybe... maybe you dont want this as much as me. What it is, what it should be, what we (or just me) want is never come up from you alone. And, I know, it wasn't your fault. I used to be don't want it too. You knew. But at some points, now I really want it when you still don't. Maybe we're tired of each other, thats ok, this is indeed, tiring... if both of us finally think "I dont want to sacrifice anything anymore" then I think it's just true that this should stop. We should stop.

[maesdiaryon]

"Happiness; the kind that keeps your soul warm even when the world around you is cold" . . . #amsterdam #damsquare #netherlands #cityview #sightseeing #spring2018 #travelgram #bestfriend #igtravel #liveauthentic #liveyourlife #goodlife #belandapanas (at Dam Square, Amsterdam)

[maesdiaryon]

"Sometimes, you just need a break to a beautiful place to figure it out..." Well... I call it "holidaaaaaaaay !" . . . Posting foto mulu may ? Lah orang liburan mah bebas bro 😂 #holiday2018 #netherlands #giethoorn #veniceofthenorth #veniceofholland #travelgram #instabeauty #instanature #igdaily #igtravel #wonderfulscenery #liveauthentic #livetothefullest (at Giethoorn Noord, Overijssel, Netherlands)

[maesdiaryon]

"Life has a funny way of working out just when you start to believe it never will" - A . . . #bentheim #castle #germany #holiday2018 #travelgram #igtravel #igdaily #wanderer #lifefolk #goodlife (at Bentheim Castle)

[maesdiaryon]

"The best memories come from bad ideas done with best friends" . . . Bisa diliat ya sodarasodara itu dua anak sugarhigh di belakang gua pada foto pertama emang keterlaluan aktif kadang udah gak ngerti kata malu yang penting bahagya 😅 Bdw, om om blonde yg ikutan foto itu ed sheeran versi lebih kurus kita ajakin foto. Nah. Gapercaya kan lu ? 😂 #laughter #bestfriends #happyface #happymoment #liveauthentic #livetothefullest #netherlands #vacation #spring #twicklecastle (at Twickelse Bos)

[maesdiaryon]

"Good morning fighter ! Today, be stronger than your storm" - j.c. . . . #netherlands #twicklecastle #spring2018 #purple #purpleflowers #instanature #travelgram #instalife #garden #castle (at Twickelse Bos)

[maesdiaryon]

🎶 It's a beautiful feeling Longing and I'm leaving I go~ but I wish I was there with you... - Dua Lipa (Homesick) . . . Udah mulai kangen pacar woy ! 😓 #netherlands #bench #spring2018 #igdaily #vacation #instamood #instatravel #travelgram (at Haaksbergen)

[maesdiaryon]

"SPRING : a lovely reminder of how beautiful change can truly be" . . . Di Taman yang katanya punya gelar "the best spring garden in the world". Ramebatjir ! Semua orang ngingetin gua buat menahan diri jangan petik bunga, jangan guling2an di atas bunga. Instead of pengen ngelakuin itu gua lebih menahan diri buat gak bangsat2in orang2 yg photobomb sik 😂 walopun akhirnya kesebut juga, pake bahasa Indonesia, dengan keyakinan mereka gak ngerti. Wkwk ! #keukenhof #netherlands #spring #spring2018 #holiday #bestfriends #travelgram #instabeauty #flowers #tulipfestival #dibuangsayang (at Keukenhof - the Tulips garden, Holland)

[maesdiaryon]

"You can never love people as much as you miss him" - John Green . . . #netherlands #keukenhof #spring #spring2018 #travelgram #instatravel

[maesdiaryon]

I want to do with you what the spring does with the cherry trees - Pablo Neruda . . . #netherlands #cherryblossom #keukenhof #spring #thebestspring #vacation #travelgram #instanature #instabeauty (at Keukenhof - the Tulips garden, Holland)