House of The Dragon - who is the true ‘victim of patriarchy’?
As “House of The Dragon” progresses, we see a lot of discourse around patriarchy and how it affects women in GRRM’s world. Almost all of those discussions focus on Alicent Hightower and are used as a way to excuse/justify/defend her actions.
To some degree, it’s true that Alicent is a victim of patriarchy, as is every single woman in that world. Like all highborn women, Alicent is married off at an early age to a man much older and powerful than herself, like all highborn women she is forced to become a baby factory for him. Her position is hardly unique. Yet, the focus on her victimhood is much greater than that of other characters, even though similar things happen to other women. Aemma Arryn is made to go through many excruciating pregnancies in order to produce a male heir, eventually culminating in her brutal demise. Laena Velaryon commits suicide in order to avoid Aemma’s fate. Rhaenyra, too, is forced to marry someone against her will and bear children despite the trauma she has from losing her mother in that very way. All of those women are victims of patriarchy.
The difference is that only one of them uses patriarchy to further her own goals. Due to personal slights, Alicent believes Rhaenyra is not worthy of the Iron Throne and uses patriarchal standards to start a civil war and make her own son the king. Those heinous actions are defended or excused - she did this because that’s how patriarchy wired her brain! She doesn’t know anything else! She’s a victim! Did you forget how she was forced to be a child bride! Not her fault! It’s the patriarchy!
The same grace is never extended to Rhaenyra. Rhaenyra is always the devil incarnate in the eyes of the same people who defend Alicent as ‘victim of patriarchy’. Rhaenyra is unworthy of the throne because she had sex with Criston and lied about it! Rhaenyra is unworthy of the throne because her children are bastards with Harwin Strong! But when you look at it, Rhaenyra’s actions are only wrong if we accept the patriarchal standard of that very world as true and given. There’s nothing morally wrong with having sex with someone while not being married to them. There’s nothing morally wrong with having children with someone you desire after you were forced to marry a gay man. On the other side, there is something inherently wrong in using patriarchy as a way to ruin someone’s life, strip someone of the throne based on their gender and indirectly cause the deaths of everyone that person held close to them. There is something wrong in setting a precedent that made it so that no woman will ever able to inherit the throne. Rhaenyra’s actions are at best misguided, Alicent’s actions are outright malicious from the very beginning.
Yet, again, only Alicent is excused as a ‘victim of patriarchy’. Is Rhaenyra not one, maybe to a greater extent than Alicent? After all, like Alicent, she is forced to marry someone against her will. After all, like Alicent, she is forced to bear heirs. And Rhaenyra has to fight a war (started by Alicent no less) because of her gender. Rhaenyra is denied a position of power and authority because of her gender. Rhaenyra loses everyone close to her because of her gender. Yet nobody calls Rhaenyra a victim of patriarchy, and the same people who insist on Alicent’s victimhood are often outright malicious and hateful towards Rhaenyra. Why is that?
Because Alicent is a perfect victim who represents the status quo. She’s a perfect young lady from the second she appears on screen. She never once challenges the world around her, never questions her role in it, just passively accepts everything. She plays within the system instead of challenging it. Her victimhood is confirmed by her passiveness and acceptance. It is expected of women to be passive, to accept their role within society and never question it, and Alicent does exactly that.
Rhaenyra is an imperfect victim because she openly rebels against society, challenges the world around her and does things that are unthinkable of a ‘proper lady’. She commits the crime of having sex for pleasure and not out of duty. She decides to fight for her birthright instead of graciously giving it to her half-brother, as I no doubt think Alicent would do had she was in Rhaenyra’s position. That by itself casts her as a villain in many people’s eyes. To be an active woman who challenges the world around her is a slight even among people who larp as progressives.
Alicent, as a proper gender conforming traditional woman (described by showrunners as being inspired by ‘women for Trump’), gets to be a victim, even though she actively uses patriarchy for her own gains and destroys people’s lives because of it. Rhaenyra, a gender nonconforming rebel, does not get this treatment, even though rebelling against patriarchy should be applauded and not condemned. And it really does not matter that poor Alicent was a child bride forced to be a baby factory. So was every woman in that world, and yet only Alicent decided to use patriarchy against her former friend - for many reasons, one of which was her implied jealousy that Rhaenyra was not afraid to briefly sneak out of societal bondage of patriarchy.
Why is Alicent a victim but not Rhaenyra? Why is Alicent’s victimhood a justification of her actions, but Rhaenyra is an evil Jezebel for the crime of having sex for pleasure? Why do you keep defending someone who knowingly used the patriarchy for her own advantage and ruined someone’s life?
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