Enigmatic melancholy

@maggieecao-blog

Maggie cao; Australia, Melbourne I like to express my opinions, and make them clear hence people often mistake my self expression for thinking I'm ALWAYS right. I don't always follow back, and the content on my tumblr isn't aimed to be good either. I blog for self-reflection, yet aimed for an audience.

477 posts

Posts

23.08

5 months.

5 months, that's approximately 23.08% of the time that we spent together.

That's how long it took for you to get over me, and find someone new. I understand that you fell into a pit of despair after I initiated the termination of our relationship. I blamed myself constantly, as I was the reason why you cried every night and dread every day. I accounted myself liable for your despondency. I was wrong, my decision was impulsive, I acted out of a heatless, cold nature, and I ended things bluntly.

Relief.

I felt relieved when I found out you met someone new. I no longer felt guilt. I found myself in a position where I didn't blame myself for not trying harder to make our relationship work.

I continuously revolve my emotions around the belief that strength conquers all. Throughout this tough period, I never displayed my feelings of remorse, or any trace of heartache to anybody. I tried to neglect what memories that I had, and soon enough I encountered sleepless nights where all I could think about was how much I missed you.

I suddenly can't grasp the idea of how quickly you moved on. I can't believe that we use to discuss marriage together, and how we were going to spend the rest of our lives together and yet 5 months later, there's already someone else.

As somebody who is already cynical in nature, I don't think I can ever view 'love' or any other romantic relationship in the same perspective ever again.

My body is reacting negatively in response to my eating habits. I should stop eating so unhealthily, especially in vast amounts, but my mind yells YES, whereas my body says NO!

So much has come before those battles lost and won This life is shining more forever in the sun Now let us check our heads And let us check the surf Staying high and dry’s more trouble than it’s worth In the sun

Sometimes my mind cannot comprehend what I honestly think of myself. I don't know why I say the things I do, neither do I understand why I do the things I do. I convince myself constantly to grow accustom to beliefs and values I can't attain. I'm convinced that I'm independent and yet I rely on others for a large portion of my overall happiness. I can confidently call myself a poser. I try to be this strong person, even though I know deeply inside there is an eternal thunderstorm with no mercy.

You are an embarrassment.

Dissapointed

I asked a simple and non-demanding question. I simply asked to re-create the useless spare room into a study room. Somewhere I can actually sit down, and concentrate. I'm in year 12- one of the most important years of my educational life, and you guys (my parents) have embedded how significant this year would be since I was in prep. Yet, you complain that I'm asking too much, and blame me for the rebellion of my little sister? I guess no matter how good I am, no matter how much I try, I will never be good enough. I will never achieve to get the same attention as that little brat. It's unfortunate that there is an idea that, that selfish girl needs more nurturing because she's in a 'vulnerable' phase of her life. I absolutely hate her. It's not a god damn phase, she has made the same stupid mistakes over and over again, and she KNOWS what's right from wrong. I absolutely despise her. I guess I'll just keep remaining studying on the floorboards and the coffee tables. At least I will know the reasoning behind my bad posture and constant back pains that will arise in the mere future.

GREAT.

You don't appreciate me for my assistance but you instead claim that I complain constantly. No. I didn't. I only said that I was hungry. I said nothing about the work I was doing or how tedious it really is.

What do you expect? I leave the house without any food, I come home to no food, and the only food that you ever prepare for me is when I do complain or when it is dinner time. I don't have money for any food and there's no groceries in the house for me to make food either.

I guess I shouldn't be complaining, especially since I do know how hard you work for the family, but it would be nice if I wasn't accused of saying something I didn't. It would also be nice if for once I get to complain about something instead of bottling it up! It's quite unfair that you expect me to starve everyday or eat shitty instant noodles and not say anything negative about the situation.

classyautomotive

teenntoadult

following back til i find a tumblr boyfriend / girlfriend

You're inconsiderate, arrogant and despicable.

You have no respect for anyone whatsoever! Your presence at this household is rare and when you are present you think you can walk right in and do things your way.

Spoilt.

Brat.

#Angry