team starkid's “black friday” musical
feel free to edit where necessary!
"Don't be scared!"
"His belly is so squishy!"
"He's all that you wanted! He's all that you needed!"
"Do the wiggle!"
"Doors open at 7am,"
"Lose your mind!"
"Drop dead!"
"How many times are they gonna play that ad?"
"Relax, it's just a toy,"
"Cabbagepatch Kids were just toys, and there were RIOTS over those things. Literal riots."
"Well, we're here. So you can get off your soapbox,"
"I mean, he is an asshole."
"Hey, everything's going to be okay, okay?"
"Who are you?"
"Well, we haven't put a label on it yet!"
"But we are intimate."
"That stuff is for little kids!"
"I do not get flashbacks, I remember bad things vividly."
"I didn't do for you."
"I don't have a drill press, and even if I did, how would it fit into the sedan?"
"This kid deserves one fucking thing that he asked for."
"Even now it's a dream. the kind that makes you question reality."
"Someone's gotta pay for it."
"I couldn't hold him still enough to teach him guitar."
"I hit replay on that night, over and over again 'til it gives up the fight. But there's no end - there's no end - there's no ending in sight."
"What have I done?"
"I don't say it enough. I'm scared you blame me. I'm scared you blame me for your luck."
"I'll give up both of my arms to get you on track."
"All I need is getting you walking towards the paradise you dream."
"Excuse me, you think it's okay for me to park here?"
"I was hardly valedictorian."
"How does it feel to be a role model?"
"You know, I could. But that would be violating company policy, and everyone's telling me I should be more responsible lately, so I'm gonna go with them on this one."
"These little friend-o's are gonna take you so far into the black, that you ain't never coming back."
"You are gonna make a killing!"
"You'd think that a drop-out with a record would be thankful to have a job."
"See, she CAN be taught!"
"We'll see who's laughing by the end of the day!"
"Where's my sister!?"
"Do I have to put a leash on you, like a dog, or my cousin Oliver-"
"Is today a good day or a bad day?"
"Oh great. Now we gotta talk to the imaginary spider from outer space."
"Bad blood. Crossed. Black and white."
"Can you translate? I don't speak crazy."
"Don't you fucking laugh."
"Cross my heart. Hope to die."
"I'd make a great dad, I'm just saying."
"Seven fucking thousand!"
"My mom's a bitch!"
"It beats being broke."
"That's not how cameras work, babe."
"We're missing in action!"
"Get yourself a new trailer. 'Cause this one is broke. as. shit!"
"Let's go, I need a cigarette."
"I did not cut, I bought my place in line!"
"That's called a bribe, and it's illegal...Or it should be."
"I hope you don't get a toy. I hope you fucking die."
"Well, my children were accidents. You don't see me pushing my problems onto anyone else."
"Not that ra ra school spirit cheerleader bullshit that you never grew out of."
"Did you think your neighbours didn't notice you wearing sunglasses on cloudy days? Turtlenecks in the summer? Well, they knew what was happening, they just didn't care."
"What do you say when you love each other? What do you say when years have past?"
"Just skip to the fucking!"
"Nah, I'm shopping for myself, I like dolls... I'm just kidding. I don't like dolls. Least not, like that."
"We're not liable for anyone who dies."
"You should be ashamed of yourself, you disgusting little pervert."
"It's mine! It's mine! It's certainly mine!"
"You never should settle for a lifetime that is handed to you. There's always a line to be cut and someone to barrel through."
"Let go! Do you have a death wish?"
"This is not the type of place you can haggle."
"Don't do it. Two doors, not one."
"Bad place. Black and white."
"Look, I know you're nervous to leave home. But you gotta trust me. It's gonna be so much better for you out of there."
"He's got a knife!"
"No, I'm not frightened! I'm annoyed!"
"Oh, I don't know if you wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna fuck with me."
"And you - you are the most special person here."
"You keep looking for it in the arms of other men, or the smiles of your ungrateful little brats. But you have been cruelly denied it."
"That's the kind of bullshit you feed to your therapist or your life coach."
"Shut the fuck up!"
"Back off or I will send a laser guided ballistic missel to your house in Denver, and you will be scrapping what's left of your kids off the fucking pavement."
"I will bite your nipple off."
"That was a joke, sir."
"Behind the veil of the universe you perceive, are entities both ageless and foul. And these eldritch forces are rising. There's a creature at work here, one with designs on humanity far worse than any nightmare we can comprehend."
"There are monsters and there are men."
"When the clock strikes three, see you at the rink!"
"-the fuck I am watching?"
"Maybe he crawled for help."
"You've got to forgive yourself, 'cause if you don't, how is anyone gonna forgive me?"
"You look just the same as I always remember."
"Take me back in time to love you."
"You don't look the same at all as I remember. The light has left your eyes."
"If you asked me, I'd still go to prom with you."
"Hold me closer than before."
"Tell me something Santa would know."
"This is the best movie ever!"
"Bet you didn't guess that the lord of despair would be so cute and cuddly, did ya!"
"That's heavy."
"You want to send me to the fucking Twilight Zone!? To have a sit-down with the devil? Fuck that, fuck that, that's all folks!"
"We're trying to stop the birth of a god."
"If we have faith, we will be rewarded with a cuddly toy."
"Kill them! Fucking kill them!"
"I dislike that word. 'Cult'. No, it's a new exciting religion that I started."
"I've met God. He had nothing nice to say about you."
"I demand your love and worship too."
"I will destroy everything, and then I will destroy everything."
"I'm in the black and white now. It's just like California, it never rains."
"I swear on my own grave."
"You're being a rotten little banana. I'm going to have to peel you. I'm going to split you in two. I'm going to eat you."
"We don't get tricked. We're grown ups."
"You don't scream at a child, it frightens them. You lure them in delicately. And you put them to sleep."
"I'm sorry, babe. No dice."
"The poor get poorer, and the rich, well, they keep getting richer."
"I can't be evil, I'm a status quo democrat."
"It happened on your watch, your time is running out."
"There's something that's beautiful, being awake for my funeral."
"Is there some lesson to learn? Should I even have wanted?"
"Only my ashes will see the sea."
"I'm authorizing you to use my firearm."
"Look me in the eye, and make a solemn vow to become your best self now."
"Gather your forces. There's a warrior of light trapped in deep sleep. Wake the warrior, kill the prophet, save the world."
"I hope they didn't tow my car."
"Kids don't want that thing. They're all into Fortnite now."
"Everyone's dying, and that includes me too."
"I failed you once, and I will fail you again."
"You're not that cute, in fact, you're real fucking ugly."
"Wake up! Belittled you isn't as fun if you're not upset."
"You've been outfoxed by a fucking moron."
"Oh, the plans he has you and me, me more favourably."
"Do you see what I see?"
"Tomorrow will come."
"Tomorrow won't come."












