[sadclowncentral]

just showed the gate agent the Wikipedia article for Mussels instead of my boarding pass. don't text

[norahsdove]

Young dumb and full of red 40

[pngblog]

[aibivy]

[hellspawnmotel]

deltarune x revolutionary girl utena

[dogpuppy]

[eroscestlavie]

lesbian texting their straight guy friends: it genuinely worries me that people are going to start with Vineland and get turned off to Pynchon forever. it’s not even that challenging but it’s like…others from him are so superior in basically every way?? this happened with Inherent Vice too like ok let’s all KILL OURSELVES

lesbian texting their bisexual guy friends: Omg hiii I actually do not know anyone who would be a good fit to run in bar marketing for the doritos infused tequila but thank you for thinking of me!! Are you still doing the MFA???

lesbian texting their gay guy friends: Of COURSE you can have my french onion soup recipe. Don’t worry.

lesbian texting their straight girl friends: that hang was sooo needed. genuinely think this is going to be your year 🫶 seriously I mean it.

lesbian texting their bisexual girl friends: I know. I feel the same way—that this is the year my father’s corpse, which I drag with me on my back every winter, finally stops keeping me warm.

lesbian texting their lesbian girl friends: do you think Tim Roth from Reservoir Dogs is a woman

[tall]

[birdplushie]

it's funny to me that in the original idea for pluribus vince gilligan intended for it to have a male protagonist but then he was like i really wanna work with rhea seehorn again so he made it about a lesbian instead. more writers should be doing this if you're considering writing a man stop what you're doing and make him a woman immediately

[aminta]

can't wait for carol to meet the only other remaining hater on earth from paraguay bc i just knowwwww he was gagged when she yelled into the phone at him. either that or he was like damn these hivemind bitches suddenly got nasty asf

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

having a dope as fuck time aboard the edmund fitzgerald rn. as long as the winds of november don't come early i'm set

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

Fuck.

[john-boneman-lich-lord]

Yeah man, this wizard conference is such a drag. I just saw a guy clap his hands together and say "Hastened Networking" or something, and suddenly everyone in a 20 foot radius was holding a copy that dude's business card. Nobody even acknowledged the quality of his card, that's how common this is. I'm over here casting Handshake and level 2 Small Talk. I think I just heard "Power Word: Video Call" two groups over. I gotta get a new job.

[krafterwrites]

[magic--oz]

every day i act surprised when the socially disabling disability is in fact socially disabling. what do you mean we are once again in an open room with 7 other people saying things outside my range (4 feet). but i persist nonetheless .

[magic--oz]

the truth about me is that i can detect parallel universes. for instance, i would have become a homestuck girlie if i wasn't already obsessed with popular internet webseries #1 rvb from years 2011 to 2018

[gghero]

9 hours 9 persons 9 doors is a crazy game like conceptually. youre in the torture labyrinth and your weirdgirl childhood best friend will say shes just remembered a story she heard once about a scientist who turned himself into [pickle] and she will ask you if you want to hear about the [pickle Rick experiment] and then you say no I don't want to hear about the [pickle Rick experiment] but unfortunately for you and the other losers trapped in the bootstrap paradox you fumbled that autistic girlie so bad like cosmic scale levels of bad that now the knife man is going to murder you all. with a knife

[magic--oz]

not-shoutout to my coworker who doesn't like tides and currents because they're boring. girl what's boring about a regularly occurring and well monitored system???????