•Broken And• ••Afraid••

Am I really scared though?

[magicalworldofnothing-blog]

Dear Parents,

My mental state remains undetermined

Whether you’re here or not

I’d rather die than spend another second with you

Put the flower on my grave you filthy liars

If parenting were a job, you’d be fired.

Put the flowers on my grave, and walk away

With all the pain I cannot stay

Through the torment and nasty names

Day by day I get more and more tired of your stupid little games

Watch them lower me into the ground and wipe your fake tears

I’ve had enough throughout the years

You’ve never really cared

And for a “child”, that’s pretty unfair

The only time we’re remotely close to be somewhat called a family is when other people are around

Go ahead, put on your show

But any smart person would know there’s a difference between knowing someone and knowing someone as a parent

There’s more to a parent than just a cover

The parent you want them to see is great

So why can’t you be like that all the time?

I’m sick of lying and saying I’m fine

You’ve forced me to become a fake too

Making up all those “good things” you do

I just don’t understand why they can’t be real

Or why you can’t be parents who care about how I feel

But it’s too late now

You had your chance

Shit, when I’m gone you’ll probably dance.

So whether you’re here or not to hear me cry

As I slice my arm and slowly die

It doesn’t matter

My mental state is now determined

Dead, from suicide.

Here,

In this state,

You can no longer hurt me.

So forget the flowers and coming to my grave

Because to you it’s just another day.

With love emptiness,

A lost cause.

[magicalworldofnothing-blog]

Sometimes people just push me so much I break, I go back to my old habits, the ones that make me want to leave without saying goodbye.