MagicBoobiess

Self proclaimed author, poet, story teller and astrologer. Where my ppl at!

[magicboobiess]

Been going thru it these past few days. Especially at my job 😮‍💨.

So I put in my two weeks and to no surprise at all my immediate supervisor tells me, hey let me just take you off the schedule and we’ll make today your last day.

The thing is I kinda wanted that last bit of extra money, but I know when im not wanted somewhere and they for sure just wanted me to get tf on out of there.

Also a supervisor which does not even work in my same department went out of her way to actively try and discipline me for allegedly taking my break when I just simply went to grab something out of my car. If you’ve ever watched a cartoon where a character gets mad and you see steam start coming out of their ears cause of how mad they were, that was her reaction. To me telling her no, I didn’t take a break I simply went to my car to grab something.

Since I first met that supervisor she’s been nothing but condescending, passive aggressive, super rude, entitled and so full of herself. I have nothing nice to say to her, or about her if im being honest. Im at a point where I don’t argue I’ll just ignore you. So that’s what I did with her. Because A, if you disrespect me and you’re a woman you get a free pass. My mom told me not to argue with women as a man, its very unbecoming. So I don’t argue with women. Just know though I have a tally in my head of all the moments of disrespect.

Once karma comes around my neighborhood ill give her those receipts. 🧾 It’ll give her something to come knocking at her door for.

Last words, if that’s how you behave as a supervisor. Then I can only imagine how you behave in your day to day life. Please learn to treat people with respect I implore you. Im grown and I’ve learned to just keep it rolling but that was so very not nice of her. Especially given her position of authority and her gender. I basically had my hands tied behind my back and just had to take it.

Why couldn’t people just be nice to me on my last day. I spent 2 yrs and 5 months at that place. All they gave me on my last day was a bunch of lousy memories. A different supervisor wanted to plan something out for me too like a mini celebration. However everyone else just wanted me gone. It sucks too cause the one supervisor that really liked me was on my vacation and the day that i wanted it to be my last day was the day she would’ve came back too.

Honestly this whole me leaving thing should’ve just been between me and HR. I told this one coworker in confidence and the moment I told her everything went to shit. In a way I was testing her to see if she could be trusted with big information like that. Turns out she can’t be trusted whatsoever and i simply wont talk to her anymore. She also made me look bad in front of customers making me look like a dummy like I haven’t worked at my job for more than 2 yrs. She probably plays dumb too cause after she’s super disrespectful she’ll make it seem like im in the wrong for reacting. Or wanting to distance myself after her being so rude to me. Like open your eyes please! If you disrespect people obviously they wont wanna be anywhere near you, so don’t act surprised when someone stops treating you nice after you keep being super rude. The The thing is too for any astrology nerds out there. My mercury is in pisces and its retrograde too 😭, so if I even began to try to explain my side and why I feel like i feel id just be laughed at or ignored. Idk good riddance I suppose 😮‍💨

Rant over, yada yada i had a point with all of this but it just became a rant XD

TL;DR: people were mean to me on my last day of work both my supervisors as well as coworkers who i thought were my friends. Im not as delusional anymore I know where I stand with people and take them for what they do and show me. Im gonna stop making excuses for people at this grown age of my life.

[magicboobiess]

In between

The in between period of time between when you put in your two weeks notice and the last day of work should be studied. Im not sure why but every single time I’ve put in my two weeks at any job it feels as if the moment I do, all the energy and life gets sucked out of me.

I suppose im currently in that exact situation myself. I really told myself “ok it’ll be different this time, I’ll tough it out and move on to the next chapter”. Boy was I wrong.

I strongly believe what it is, is that since im no longer going to be at my current employment. The rose tinted glasses have finally come off and im seeing everything for what its been. Id suppose the main culprit of me feeling like this is the customer interaction. The customers, oh jeeez is how I feel about them.

They always have something to say (most of them anyway) and its never anything productive its always so negative. Im only human and don’t appreciate being used as an emotional punching bag.

In summary customers suck and they drove me to this point XD. But hey its all good its not like i havent started from scratch before.

Here’s to new beginnings and a new life 🥂🍾

[magicboobiess]

When it comes to love I don’t have much success if I’m being honest. It usually tends to go not my way, which I really don’t even know how I feel about that.

I try, I really do, it’s just that sometimes it’s simply not reciprocated. It’s ok though, this is just a learning experience. It just really sucks that this isn’t the first time something like this has happened.

Someone will come my way, I’m sure of it, if not today then tomorrow. Love is in the air, I just have to breathe it in. Plus I’m learning that rejection is just part of life really. It helps the self grow! Or so I tell myself.

Also why do I always fall for people that are already in relationships 😭. Every single time. I think I meet someone and we click so well. Eventually though they pull out the “oh my bf this that and a third”. Like you’re a catch I’m not surprised you have a boy friend. But like can I once meet someone who’s not already in a relationship with someone. This always happens 🥹 all the good ppl are already taken. And the ones that do like me always end up being toxic and weird.

Like for reaal, all the people that I’ve ended up dating just do me dirty 🥲 I’m just so tired of trying I never get anywhere 😭. But just cause I’m tired of trying doesn’t mean I’ll stop trying. My person is out there, I just gotta find em I suppose. But if anyone wants an Aries I’m heree XD

I will maintain the peace however and I won’t crash out just cause I’m alone. I’ve been alone for a while and hey it’s lots of fun. Plus it’s not as bad as ppl make it out to seem. Anyways

Ramble ramble ramble and may TRUE love find its way to me.

[magicboobiess]

Im sad, and really disappointed currently (I’m doubling down on this feeling). An incident happened in which all I’ll say is that if I had been more patient more calm and taken my time I wouldn’t even be as stressed out as I currently am. I messed up I know that, I just really thought I’d be so over this kind of behavior already.

I dare not tell my parents as I don’t want them to further lower their view of me. I find that I’ve really just told my acquaintances about this. It just feels easier telling a stranger versus someone who cares about me. I haven’t been making the best choices (not for a lack of trying) I just keep putting myself in situations I shouldn’t be in.

Every-time it happens I always realize how easily everything could have been avoided is. I’m still sad as I write this, I know in my heart this problem will be resolved, I will be ok and I will move past this. I just want to stop disappointing myself already, I love myself don’t get me wrong. I just really, really, wish I wouldn’t do some of the things that I do.

Hopefully I can change for the better I’m gonna go cry into my pillow now. I feel the tears starting to come down

[magicboobiess]

I don’t wanna say I’m ashamed but the amount of times I’ve decided to go “sober” is so many. Do I even wanna get sober or do I just get sober enough to reverse any effects only to do it all over.

Im trying. So here’s me attempting soberness for like the 100th time (even more probably at this point XD) let’s see what happens

[magicboobiess]

Ok, so I'm back at work after having gone on vacation for a few days. I can honestly say that I really wish I was still on my vacation. I forgot how draining being at work can be. I feel guilty too, my friend had invited me to go see her afterwork since she recently quit her job. I however was so tired from the day at work I could barely muster up the energy for that. I ended up falling asleep and waking up the next day ughhh so annoying. I forget that work makes it hard for me to wanna be there for my friends as well. Since I come home so tired.

Also at work they had offered me a new role within the company. I was pulled into conduct an interview. The role in question was for a sales position. I was not aware the role was so heavily focused on sales however since it kind of was just sprung on me last minute. I sit down, two of my managers are conducting the interview. They start telling me what all the job will consist of. After they are done explaining, they ask me "if the role still interest you please let us know, also if you are no longer interested please let us know as well."

After much internal deliberation I ultimately decided to not pursue that role. The reason being that in the past I had been let go from one of my jobs of 5 years due to not being able to meet sales goals. That previous employer fired me so suddenly too that it traumatized me from ever wanting to back into a sales role. Long story short I needed some time for a mental health break since I was just so overwhelmed from work and life. I ask my manager for a wee off, she ok's it and I go on my way and take the time off. Mind you the time off request is unpaid as well, its not like this was paid.

So after I take my time off I call my manger before I come into work to give her a heads up that I'll be back in the office on Monday. However when I call her that's when she tells me "Oh yeah the boss said since you're not meeting the sales goals to just not come back to the office." My heart sank, yeah I didn't really like the job or what I was doing at it. I had however spent the last 5 years of my life at that place just working away 5 days of the week for 5 years trying my best. Only to in the end be thrown out like a paper cup from starbucks.

That made me so sad, people don't care that you work for them for 5yrs or all the business you helped bring in. Which circles back to me saying no to the new role at my current job. Yeah it probably would've been a little more money but I'm not good at sales, and even if I am now good at sales. I don't want to waste that energy working for someone else. Id rather use that and idk maybe make my own business or something. I just need an idea to pop into my mind and then I can just run with that.

I was sad though that I didn't take the role, sad and content. Sad since in a way its me saying no to a potential future or to maybe learning more responsibility. At the same time though content in the sense that, this challenges me to find something else. Something better, by not allowing myself to get comfortable I'm reminding myself that I'm not yet where I want to be but if I keep trying I can definitely get there. I just hope they don't treat me differently for not taking the role.

I simply just don't want to do sales. Or have to follow up with customers and hold their hand and tell them nice things. That's just not me, I struggle with being a good friend how am I supposed to care enough about people to want to reach out and sell them things. Plus they told me it would be a lot of cold calling type of sales. Where I would have to go out of my way to recruit people and make sales goals every week. Regardless of if the business was slow or fast paced for the week. It's just a lot that goes into these things. The perks did sound nice for what the job was offering. They did say there was 1 week of paid vacation to go to Atlanta for training.

Idk its whatever now, I said no so hey let me just let that door go ahead and close. Hey I just heard another door open though so we shall see.

Idk here's to being hopeful I suppose. Something good will come

[magicboobiess]

Omgeee bed update XD. I got home today and once again took a nap on my broken ass bed.

However I was actually kinda liking it, it feels like those beds that can fold and give great support for your back. Putting you in an angle almost.

So when I woke up from my nap I told myself, “ I should really try to fix my bedrame.” So I did, I put my my mind to work busted out my tools and with some ingenuity and TLC I have a bed again XD. All it took was 24 hours, but finally I’ll sleep good again. It feels even better than when I got it also I’d say, I’m really good at this builder stuff XD.

Comfort prevails! It’s the small wins in life.

[magicboobiess]

Nooo my bed frame just broke on me wtf

Ughh… let me just go to bed.. oh wait 🥹

[magicboobiess]

When your friend tells you to go out you should definitely say yes. Tonite was a pretty good night. We were at the bar and I was killing it on the dance floor, I even saw this really cute girl who I talked to and everything.

I told myself “stop being shy” haha what a good motivator I’d say. Plus I’ve gotten to the point in my life where if I see someone I could potentially like or want to be friends with, then I wanna go out of my way to make an impression or at least talk to them. If there’s a feeling I don’t like, it’s the feeling of not doing something I wanted to do.

Her curly hair is what immediately caught my attention, also she had the prettiest looking make up. It was neon green right above her eyes. She had such a pretty smile too, the type to just make you want to smile as well. The choice of accessories was also very becoming, it pulled the whole ensemble together.

Later I met a guy through my friend and he gave us a ride home. He was a good conversationalist and very nice and well mannered. He had me fooled since I thought he looked so young but turns out he was actually a yr older than me. Once he dropped us off me and my friend went back into her apartment we chatted for a good while then went to bed.

Overall it was nice and I really enjoyed myself. My friend made that night so much fun, I luv her xoxo

[magicboobiess]

All I needed was the love you gave,

all I need for another day

And I all I ever knew,

only you

[magicboobiess]

I’m just gonna say it. I get lonely at night and would really like to be held. I wouldn’t mind a kiss either. Jus sayin..

[magicboobiess]

Vacation time?

I'm on vacation right now and not gonna lie it's actually really nice. For the longest time I've never really allowed myself to do what I wanna do see what I wanna see etc. Ya'll get the gist. So recently I've just been doing what I would basically not do. I'm trying to go against my regular self so I can be more out there and allow myself to experience the world.

I think what it is, is I've been working my whole whole life. Since age 16 and even before then but I suppose on paper. Starting at age 16 is when I started working for money. At the time I was really the only one that was working and just trying to make money. In a way it was both good and bad. Good because I suppose I wanted to have my own money and such things in order to be able to experience life on my own terms.

The bad I would say I didn't really take note of until now that I'm much older. The bad is that its wired my brain into this work work work mindset. At least when it comes to me and money. I've deluded myself into thinking that as long as I work I can spend whatever amount of money I want and be ok. Which I suppose there is some truth to that but I don't want to be caught in this cycle of just working working working. Eventually I want to be free, do my own thing, be my own person live life on my own terms.

I'm so shackled to the idea of being this super hard worker, which is not a bad thing but I suppose that once you've been working for more than half of your life you start to re-think every time you have to clock in at work. It's barely day 2 of my vacation but I already miss it and want to go back. What's keeping me going is that I have some more vacation coming up.

Here's to not giving up I suppose, I'm going to try again and hopefully something good comes out of this.

[magicboobiess]

I need money

[magicboobiess]

Ughhh I wasted moneyyy on such a bad product 😭.

It was $40 tooo! That’s like 2 hours plus of work goneee.

But hey like my coworker told me today you live and you learn and that’s the lesson

[magicboobiess]

Quick lil thing.

I really want to find something that can make me money but that's not retail. In the context of the last sentence, I want a job that is fun enough to where it doesn't feel like work. Or that at least pays well enough to where I only have to do it a few times a week or month and have a lot of free time left over.

mmm...

That kinda sounds like maybe I should open up my own business. That is not a bad idea I just wouldn't know the first thing that I would want to sell. I used to always want to open up a bike repair shop or a coffee shop. Both are two things that I would say im passionate about. Idk I feel lost and don't really have a goal that im working towards. I keep asking the higher powers that be to help me too.

Anyways that is all.

[magicboobiess]

New begginings?

My brother sold me his macbook for the low low. so umm stay tuned I might be writing more on here hehe for anyone who likes my short form essays.

[magicboobiess]

It definitely is possible for work to steal from you. How exactly can work steal from you? Well, for starters I can’t speak for anyone else but TIME is definitely something work has stolen from me that I won’t be getting back any time sooon.

I was wanting this to be poetic but sometimes it’s best to just say things as they are. Work has wasted so much of my time over the years. So so much time. The thing is I wouldn’t even try to go anywhere else or better myself. There’s been times where I stayed somewhere wayy longer than I should’ve. Why? I really couldn’t tell you, it was blind loyalty. Being grateful that anyone would take a chance on me that I’d endure less than ideal work conditions just to say I had a job.

That is so sad, no back bone just staying somewhere like a good little lap dog instead of going out and creating my future. Ahhhghghfh. I just need a good opportunity to come my way. Plus I’m just so tired at my job it’s not good for the soul. I’m so mentally checked out of my job the only reason I’m able to do it still is because my normal is being a very hard worker. Regardless of the job or pay I’ll always work hard at what I do.

My current pay is not bad but it took 2 years to get here and I don’t think I have much left in the tank to keep going. The only reason why I haven’t quit is because I don’t have anything else to fall back on. I just need someone to take a chance on me *sigh. Or I need to take a chance on myself either or. I just want more than this. I know it’s possible and if what it takes to receive help or support is to say that I can’t do this on my own. Well here’s me saying it. Please whoever is listening, reading, etc. I can’t keep doing this on my own please, I’m trying, I really am to continue on my own. I would say I’ve gotten far but I just know I could get even further if I had help or guidance or just a really lucky break. So please to anyone out there, I want more for myself I’m ready please help me.

I just really want a better future..