the drunk sonnets by daniel bailey
THE DRUNK SONNETS BY DANIEL BAILEY
“WHAT I WANT IS TO KEEP SITTING IN THIS FEELING FOREVER”
it is 10pm on a wednesday and i am eating kimchi and a sweet potato mash with chopsticks and sitting next to rowan. i finished the drunk sonnets in one read, a week ago. i like daniel bailey’s poetry a lot and asked him to do something for galavant two. this isn’t his new book, i think. i had added this to my basket several times but the ‘outside of US’ shipping costs seemed like a barrier. then i decided to get it i guess, along with some other books
going to start writing about the size and feel and texture of each book i read as well… (which is what stace and i did when she came over last week.) i like the soft-texture of the cover, when i drag my fingers across it it feels carpety in a plushy way.. also like the cover art it’s friendly but not too cute.. rowan said it looks like it feels nice and i said try it and she said yup it does. i liked the paper, the font isn’t intrusive it looks like a variation of times new romans i think
it seems like daniel bailey wrote all of these drunk, i guess that is what i am going to assume. i like that when turning to the next page i could consistently expect two things: that the poems would be in capitals and they would have been written when drunk. i liked it when his drunkenness (?) was given context: whether he had been drinking with someone or alone or in his room or outside somewhere else. i felt comforted while reading this—i feel like i am rarely 'drunk’, whenever i drink i puke or fall asleep, like i get ill before i get drunk (unless i combine drinks with something else/wine + beer). one time though when i was seventeen i remember drinking a lot in a club in singapore and leaving for a bit and looking at people standing outside and walking down to the river. i feel like i remember thinking along a lot of the lines in this book, ok i will type some of these out:
I’M GLAD THAT YOU’RE ALIVE AND DOING WELL
I’D HATE TO LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE YOU DON’T EXIST
I CAN SAY THAT HONESTLY AND I AM GLAD I DON’T
[HAVE TO LIE
IF YOU KNOW ME, AND I THINK YOU DO, YOU KNOW I’M NOT A LIAR
EXCEPT WHEN EVERYTHING GOES WRONG IN LIFE
AND I HAVE TO BACK AWAY FOR A LITTLE WHILE
INTO ANOTHER CORNER OF LIFE WHERE I’LL SAY ANYTHING
TO MAKE YOU BELIEVE IN ME RIGHT NOW
SOMETIMES THE ONLY THINGS THAT WORK OUT ARE MUSCLES
AND I GOT A VERY FEW OF THOSE AND IT HURTS
TO SEE YOU DOING WELL AT ALL
OR TO IMAGINE YOU DOING WELL, BUT YOU ARE
BUT I MAKE IT THROUGH THE DAYS
AND THAT’S OK, I THINK, AT LEAST I CAN DO PUSH UPS
this one is my favourite i think, i feel like i don’t always or especially remember thinking about people i used to like or love when drunk but when that happens it feels like this, “honest”/being real (plus self-pity + wistfulness) and also, i really like lines like 'the only things that work out are muscles // .. and it hurts to see you doing well at all'
DRUNK SONNET 13
THE ONLY THING THAT COULD MAYBE SAVE US NOW
IS GETTING OLD TOGETHER AND DYING AND THEN NOTHING
I THINK THAT THIS IS THE TIME FOR US
I HAVE WALKED THROUGH OUR CITY AT NIGHT
IT’S HARD TO IMAGINE CHANGING ANYTHING NOW
BUT WHEN I FALL IN LOVE IN THE FUTURE
WILL I EVEN THINK OF YOU OR WHAT? I DON’T KNOW
WILL YOU EVEN BE A PART OF THAT?
HERE ARE SOME THINGS I’VE SEEN TONIGHT
THAT MAKE ME THINK OF YOU OK:
CAT LITTER, THAT WAS THE FIRST
YOUR PICTURE ON THE INTERNET
WHAT ELSE, I DON’T KNOW, SHOULD I QUIT MYSPACE?
SHOULD CATS EVER PISS AGAIN?
feel that way about things now: it’s hard to imagine changing anything now / but when i fall in love in the future / will i even think of you or what i don’t know / will you even be a part of that -> this is so good
DRUNK SONNET 17
I AM NOT STILL THINKING ABOUT YOU, NO
I AM NOT STILL THINKING ABOUT YOU AT ALL
I AM NOT STILL THINKING ABOUT YOU
STILL, I AM NOT AT ALL THINKING ABOUT YOU
NOT THINKING ABOUT YOU, NO I’M NOT
WHAT AM I THINKING ABOUT? NOT YOU
IF I AM THINKING ABOUT ANYTHING, IT’S NOT YOU
YOU ARE NOT A THING I’M THINKING ABOUT
WHAT SHOULD I THINK ABOUT? NOT YOU
WHAT CAN I POSSIBLY THINK ABOUT?
WHAT IS THERE TO THINK ABOUT BUT YOU?
THERE’S PLENTY TO THINK ABOUT IN THIS WORLD
WHAT IN MY LIFE AM I THINKING ABOUT?
I AM NOT THINKING ABOUT YOU, THANK GOD
finally/also i really liked the last part (appendix?) to this book, DRUNK ESSAY, i like it when someone 'straight up’ tells me what happened (context i guess), small things like walking his dog, i felt [the positive emotion u feel when u relate/identify to something], when he says
I ONLY FEEL LIKE I CAN SPEAK ABOUT WHAT IS
and when he thanks his parents and his brother and other people who have been good to him and good for him. and when he talks about his 'shitty break up’ but then says later
I AM HAPPY NOW IN THAT I HAVE A BEAUTIFUL RELATIONSHIP GOING ON TWO AND A HALF YEARS AND WE BIRTHED AN AMAZING DOG NAMED ELAINE OUT OF THESE HERE DENVER MOUNTAINS UNDERNEATH THIS HEARTLESS SKY WITH NO WEATHER / FUGGIT MY FRIENDS / I WANT TO SAY THAT I HAVE FOUND IT / BUT I HAVE FOUND NOTHING…. / NOW THAT I AM HAPPY I CAN SEND A BALLOON INTO THE SKY AND LET IT / GREET THE LORD
felt happy for daniel bailey when reading this part, even typing it now/reading it again it felt like, i was in a room with my friends all also drunk and listening to someone standing on the sofa giving a speech. also felt like, i wanted to keep reading the essay bit, kinda wish people blogged more about their day
