#anti-advice

[heretherebedork]

What was the BL series/movies that dissapointed you? Or worst you watched? (And why?)

Bahahahahaahahahaha.

My Extraordinary takes all prizes, ever, for most disappointing BL of all time. Because it had less than one episode of true BL and then it killed the two leads and spent the rest of the show being about Sad Heterosexuals Who Are The Reason The Gays Died. It’s so bad. SO bad.

Second place goes to Meet My Angel because the script was so, so bad and the editing/sound/filming are all so bad that it’s hard to even imagine it being made but both actors in the show were FAR too good for their roles. And, look at that, it’s by the same people who made My Extraordinary! Also, ending by killing the main living character so he can join his angel-lover and then HAVING THEM DENIED HEAVEN IN ORDER TO TAKE CARE OF THEIR EXES is literally the worst ending possible in any universe. Feel free to try to argue.

Okay, if we move away from those two... then it’s gotta be The Cupid Coach. I was SO excited by TCC from the summary which was a lie and the cute actors which were also mostly lies because frankly almost none of them could act and it was just generally... a very disappointing show. Very, very disappointing.

Those are definitely my three most disappointing/worst BLs that I’ve managed to watch entirely. Enjoy my anti-advice.

[parentingroundabout]

Viral Anti-Parenting Advice

When we read some "anti-parenting advice" prompted by a viral Twitter thread, we had to talk about it. Is it any surprise to learn that just as we are anti a lot of parenting advice, we are also anti anti-parenting advice?

[dulcetines]

hi teh c, i wanna know your opinion about why people fall in love easily, karena aku lagi kaya gt dan butuh opini kamu. thanks sudah dijawab^^

imho it’s very common to mistake infatuation as love! obviously i can’t speak for everyone but when someone tells me they fall in love easily they are often speaking about infatuation, not love. the thing about infatuation: it’s fun, it’s easy, it’s full of adrenaline, and most of the time it makes you feel sexy. the world is full of interesting, charming people, and even i find myself being infatuated with different people all the time. but infatuation is not the same as love, because what i think people don’t realize (and don’t want to admit) is that the act of being in love itself is insanely boring. i’ve been in love with the same guy for 4 years and i’m constantly asking myself jokingly holy fuck why am i still doing this again? love is amazing (and so is my person) but you have to admit that it also comes with the not-great sides—it’s difficult and complicated and it can bore you to death. that’s why people often mistake infatuation as falling in love, because it’s infinitely easier to be infatuated with people than being in love with them. our brains do this little mind trick to conflate love with almost everything (but mostly infatuation and attachment) whenever they are seeking for escape from boredom, but once you learn that these are all different, separate things, i promise you’ll be fine.

[trixclibrarian]

anti-advice

How do you live with it ? How do you live like this. You just keep coming on back around the spiral, I guess. Guessing is the best. Wonder. 

I’ve been thinking a lot about advice lately. How adverse I am to it, generally. Even if I ask(ed) for it, it’s more something to push against. I am at a total loss when asked to give it. I feel pressured and utterly incompetent and inescapably compelled to speak and shove my nonsense into the world. 

I hated being a therapist for this exact reason. I had no advice to give. I sensed that I had something... I had no idea it was merely presence. Attention, being with. 

Because that’s what helps others most and spreads the most to help the helper and more others we never know... we never know of. 

At my job as a reference librarian, people come and ask me for help and we begin exploring together... because I never know the answer ahead of time. Knowing any of the answers is beautifully impossible in my job. It’s a moving target, man. (heh: Moving Target Man) 

So often, someone invites me to their computer screen, work space, desk, to show me what they are trying to accomplish that is being blocked or confused or etc. I stand over their shoulder and bend down and lean in and look and more than half of the time the person figures out the problem in the process of trying to explain what they are having trouble with. It’s a super power. Attention. Presence. 

I just finished an online reference shift. My last question, five minutes before my shift ended, I picked it up accidentally. It was international, from England and I could tell from the question I wouldn’t know the answer... but the question included a link to the resource they wanted to use and I was going to click it to make sure I did not know and then with a misplaced click... I accidentally picked up the question. 

They wanted to know what to do about citing an NHS source after their grader specifically told them it could not be cited as NHS... I had no idea... I just talked through this. It clearly says copyright NHS, I said, I’m at a loss. Then I noted it had typed at the bottom:  Previously NHS Community Board Commission (or some such something like that !) The patron perked up and said “That’s a good idea... maybe I’ll explore that.” Then I added, very tentatively, “The only other idea I can offer is to maybe look for the same information from another source, like perhaps a medical journal?” That’s when the patron got really excited “Oh!! (i got an OH and 2 !!) That is a really good idea. I am gong to give that a try.”

Thankfully, since my shift was over, they didn’t need help searching... and voila - just like that I answered a question I had no idea what the answer to was - I simply joined in it with my patron. 

I love this about research... It’s a series of never ending slightly varying spiral circles... slinky like. Round and round we go, closer and farther and back looping in, bringing more stuff in, chasing and dancing with Moving Target Man. 

Such is life. Forget the advice. Denounce knowing. Find a way to join. Wonder. Together. 

[bryantanner]

I searched for the meaning of "Bae" on google.  I was not disappointed.

Word used by ghetto people to address their significant other because they have found themselves too lazy to pronounce the entire word "babe".

"My bae Jamal done spent all his mommas money on these nails gurl"

[fyeahswoozie06]

Swoozie gives us " some next level relationship anti-advice". Musssst watch!

[bloodwell-and-quill]

If it seems impossible then it is and you should give up before you waste energy that could be spent on things that aren’t impossible.

[tigermomknowsbest]

Career advice

I came home one summer during college and had this conversation with my mom.

Me: “Mom, I think I might want to quit school and become a carpenter.” Mom: “You want to quit school and be a carpenter?! Go build me something!”

I returned to college in the fall.