Jake hears the door behind him creak and softly shut, trapping the ruckus of the Hard Deck inside, and he knows it’s Bradley who has followed him onto the deck. He’s not ready for this conversation; he doesn't want to think about what he wants and he doesn’t know what to do here. He kind of wants to run away.
”Hey.” It’s soft, a small greeting with no expectation behind it besides letting someone know they’re there.
It’s kind of intimate.
Jake kind of hates it.
”Bradshaw.” Jake grips the railing a little tighter, trying to get his bearings. He hasn’t turned to greet Bradley, not yet ready to see his face or confront whatever is going on here.
Bradley is still a couple steps away over his right shoulder. Jake is very aware of Bradley’s location in space when they’re in the same place, has been for years. And that sends a chill down his spine. This is such a bad idea.
“Where’d you go this morning?” It’s casual, not demanding, but Jake swears he can hear a waver in Bradley’s voice, like he really cares about Jake’s answer.
“Had things to get done before we reconvene as Daggers on Monday.” Neutral, good, Jake thinks. He wants to put space between them, but not alienate his new colleague. His new colleague that he slept with last night, Jesus Christ. And we were finally getting along. Jake wants to laugh at himself for how well they got along, how compatible they really are, but he’s afraid it wouldn’t sound like a laugh.
“You could’ve stayed, had breakfast?” It’s a question, asking about so much more - offering so much more - than breakfast.
“C’mon Bradshaw, let’s not make this more awkward than it already is.” Jake cringes at himself. He turns slightly to look at Bradley to try to will him to understand that they can’t do this. But Bradley looks a little deer-in-headlights; his hands are clenching and releasing, and he’s blinking a little too much.
“Oh. Right. Sure. Ok.”
Jake raises an eyebrow at Bradley - he’s never this flustered, even when Jake’s riling him up. He watches Bradley turn his gaze from Jake to the ocean. He watches Bradley take a deep breath, slowly letting it out. Jake watches Bradley.
And, oh no, Jake thinks as he watches Bradley’s face smooth out, his fidgeting hands calm, his shoulders forcibly lower, and chin raise just slightly - Rooster now standing in front of him, all anxious energy dissipated - or hidden - from Jake.
”Understood,” Bradley says.
Bradley is having trouble breathing, the deep breath he took not enough to calm his racing heart or dampen the shards of cold glass that are swirling around his chest. His heart feels like it’s stuck in an implosion, collapsing in on itself, halfway to supernova.
”See you later then,” Bradley says, trying to affect calmness, aloofness.
Jake watches him walk away feeling like he’s royally fucked that up, even though there’s no other way Jake thinks it could’ve gone.
Bradley lets the door swing shut behind him before he slumps into the wall of the back hallway. He feels like an idiot; he should’ve known - of course he was alone in this. Of course it wasn’t anything important to Jake - no. Seresin. Who was Bradley to him anyway - competition, colleague, rival? Bradley should’ve remembered that he’s not usually someone people stick around for.
He swallows heavily and lightly thumps the back of his head against the wall before straightening up and pulling out his phone. The screen is a little blurry, but he’s ignoring that. He’s got a text to answer.
He shoves his phone in his pocket and catches Nat’s eye. Her face runs through confusion and concern pretty quickly before she makes a questioning gesture at him. He shakes his head, offering what he hopes is a good facsimile of a smile as he turns toward the bar. He doesn’t make it very far when his phone rings.
“Hey Uncle Sly,” Bradley greets, as he meets Nat’s eyes again - she is now right in front of him, another look on her face that clearly says who the fuck is Uncle Sly? And, yeah, Bradley is acutely aware now how much he hasn’t shared with his friends.
”Hey kiddo, you good?”
“Back up in the air this past week, so all is right with the world,” is Bradley’s response, knowing what Slider is really asking.
”That’s good to hear, Bradley. You sure you’re up for coming back to Japan? We got really lucky with the timing considering what you’ve been up to the last 10 weeks, and not a lot of the intel has changed.”
”Is this Uncle Sly asking or a commanding officer?” Bradley’s feeling raw, he knows Uncle Sly has his back but he needs to know if Admiral Kerner thinks he can do this. He’s well aware of Nat listening in, and her facial reactions are giving Bradley a tiny bit of joy.
”Mostly me, kid. But I am trying to channel Ice, even though we both know he was one of a kind.”
Bradley snorts, and runs a hand down his face, the familiar sensation of loss tugging at his sternum.
”Yeah, I… yeah.” Bradley breathes for a moment while he hears Slider shuffle papers on the end of the line.
”With Gigi and Panther out, we could use you and another plane for the mission. Anyone from that Dagger squad you’d trust with this?”
Oh, so Admiral Kerner does think he can do this and actually wants a recommendation for a wingman? Ok.
Bradley’s eyes meet Nat’s again, and she shoots him another wtf look, “Yeah, if I could pick a wingman, it’d be Phoenix and Bob.” Her eyes widen and she spares a glance for Bob playing darts with Halo, before she turns back to Bradley and nods.
Bradley hears more shuffling, and a couple of hums and what sound like approving noises. “Got it. Obviously you can’t tell them anything but perhaps tell them to switch to water tonight. Gotta run, see you soon.”
Bradley hangs up, and slumps against a different wall of the Hard Deck with his eyes closed before he hears “What the hell did you just volunteer me for, Rooster?”
Bradley just starts laughing. What a rollercoaster of a day.