LockDown Part XXI: Freedom
Summary: The time has finally come for you and Loki to venture outside.
Setting: 2018 in an alternate timeline where Loki made it to Earth after the events of “Thor: Ragnarok” and Sam Wilson, Wanda Maximoff, Clint Barton, and Scott Lang are still on the Raft.
Pairing: Loki x Reader (First Person)
Content Warning: Smut.
Playlist ~ Masterlist ~ Next Part (Coming soon)
Merry Christmas and happy holidays.
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Loki’s hands roamed the small of my back. My skin was like a drug he could not get enough of. I straddled his hips, while he laid across his caramel coloured sofa, my moans filled the air and my head tilted back in pleasure.
The second Loki had pulled me into his lap it was all over. Butterflies erupted in my stomach with each fervent kiss. I stopped to catch my breath, Loki held me closer. He gently pressed his forehead against mine.
“Is everything okay?” Loki asked. He sounded so genuine. I was still growing accustomed to how Loki looked at me. No one had ever looked at me the way Loki did. And then it finally hit me, a swirl of memories flooded in. The first day I met Loki and every night after. Loki had always looked at me Like he was in awe. There was something else there too. Fear. A fear I’d break his heart, fear he’d break mine.
It had taken a week for Loki’s insults to turn into mutual banter. Two weeks for him to stop flinching every time I tried to sit next to him. And now he was letting me straddle his hips and kiss his neck.
FRIDAY’s voice went unnoticed by both of us. She said something about the LockDown. I was too distracted by the light from Loki’s window, that washed over his face in a silver glow. I leaned down to kiss him once more and then stopped. There was light coming from Loki’s window.
The metal shields that blocked Loki’s windows were slowly escalating toward the ceiling, allowing more light to seep through. I watched in delight as I was greeted to the early morning sky. “Loki, look.”
I peered down at Loki, who was looking towards his door, which was now free. He gently moved me off his lap, and cautiously placed both his feet on the ground. To both our relief there was silence.
I watched Loki as he walked toward his door and grasped the silver handle. I think we both held our breaths as he slowly opened the only exit.
The hardwood floor of Loki’s room abruptly ended, and beyond it, a grey carpet ran along the dimly lit hallway.
Something came over me, an unbridled joy. I was finally free. I ran towards the hallway and jumped onto the scratchy grey carpet. Without any care for sleeping neighbours, I threw my head back, and with open arms, I proclaimed I was free. “Loki. We can run in the halls.”
“No, please don’t,” Loki said dryly. I paid no mind to his unamused face and took off down the long hall. “You’re ridiculous,” Loki smiled, as I skipped back towards him. His hands wrapped around my waist once I had returned, pulling me in for a kiss.
“Let’s go outside!” I suggested, excitedly.
“Will you shut up,” a tired voice bellowed behind me. I turned around to see an agent wearing silk pyjamas, standing outside the room across from Loki’s. She was barely able to keep her eyes open. “Do you have any idea what time it is?” Susan Mayweather asked.
“Sorry, Susan. We’ve been locked in Loki’s room all night and just got out.”
“What are you talking about. Lockdown ended hours ago,” Susan yawned.
“Well Loki’s room-“
“I don’t care,” Susan said, waving her hand dismissively. “Just…” her eyes darted between Loki and I. “Keep it down.” Susan opened her mouth, as if to say something else but then turned around and closed the door behind her.
There was a window at the end of the hall. Its glass had become covered in rain. “Loki grab your coat. We’re going outside.”
“I’m not going outside.”
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“I can’t believe I’m outside.” Loki groaned arms crossed over his chest. He remained completely dry in the rain. His magic allowed the droplets to bounce off of him. He had tried to protect me from getting wet, but I quickly told him not to. I wanted to enjoy the fresh air, and have the rain soak my skin.
I twirled around the nearly empty parking lot of the compound, while Loki stood off to the side like the curmudgeon he was.
My night was not supposed to end with me dancing barefoot in the rain. I didn’t anticipate falling in love, or my life almost ending. I entered Loki’s room believing him and I could only ever be one thing. I stopped to look back at Loki, his face softened when I smiled at him.
“Is your car here?” Loki shouted over the rain.
“It’s the Kia,” I pointed to the metallic red car in the back, illuminated by a lamp post and wondered what Loki could possibly want with it.
“Let me know when you’re ready to go.”
“Go where?” I smiled, running up to Loki. He blinked at me, seemingly surprised at my obliviousness. “Loki where am I supposed to go?”
“Home. You’re safe to leave me now.”
“Do you want me to leave?” I silently prayed he would say no. The thought of being alone petrified me.
“No, but you seem to want to.”
“Loki I wanted to leave your room, but not you.”
Loki closed his eyes and sighed, reassured by my words. “I think we’ve spent enough time in my room.”
I shook my head. I couldn’t believe what he was implying. He was going to send me away. “Loki,” I pressed my hand against his chest and looked up at him pleadingly. “I can’t-“ I swallowed back tears. “I can’t be alone right now. There’s a killer and every time I close my eyes I see your-“
“Shh,” Loki pulled me into his embrace. He whispered calming words into my hair and kissed my temple. “I’m not going to leave you. We are going to get your things from my room.” I open my mouth to protest. “And then I am going to take you home,” Loki quickly finished. “We’ll come back in the morning before the police arrive.”
“Okay,” I agreed. My hands slowly stopped shaking as Loki and I headed back inside.
“Wait,” I abruptly stopped in the foyer of the compound lobby. “You can’t take me home,” I told Loki, while he used his magic to dry my clothes and soothe my sore feet. “You’re still on house arrest, remember? You can’t leave the compound.”
“Unless I’m accompanied by an agent, which you are. Trust me,” Loki added. He must have noticed how unsure I seemed. “I know your rules.”
“Really?” I asked.
“Can’t break the rules if I don’t know them.”
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I placed my phone inside my purse and then gathered my dress into a ball. “Do you want to take Thor’s poems?” I asked, grabbing the book.
“Just leave it here,” Loki told me, as I slipped on my heels.
I shrugged and placed the book on Loki’s coffee table. “You never told me what the cover says.”
“I don’t know. I told you, it’s Jötan.”
“Oh, I just thought you would have had it translated.”
Loki looked at me, confused. “I don’t understand. Why would I do that?”
I waited for Loki to answer his own question. Instead, he just stared back at me, completely unable to think of any reason he would want to read something in the language of his birth family. “Okay then,” I said.
“Fine,” Loki rolled his eyes and grabbed the book. “If it’ll make you happy.” He waved his hand across the cover, the words melted and contorted into English text. He handed the book back to me, not once looking down.
“To our son,” I read aloud. It wasn’t until I read the last part that Loki’s back visibly stiffened. “Love Laufey and Farbauti.”
“Laufey,” Loki said to himself.
“That was your father, wasn’t it?” I asked despite already knowing the answer.
“Yes,” Loki sighed. “It appears the book Odin stole for me was actually stolen from me.”
“So that means your mother is-“
“Frigga,” Loki cut me off. His voice was as sharp as daggers. “My mother was Frigga. My mother was the queen of Asgard and she never would have left me alone in a cave to be abducted just because I was born a runt. She would have fought to protect me.”
“The first three years of my life I was raised by my grandparents. Before I was the favourite, my parents didn’t want me.” I sat down on Loki’s couch. He hovered by the door for a few minutes before joining me. “My parents were young when they had me. My dad had just been laid off. I wasn’t planned for. So they had to make a difficult decision about what to do with me. It’s hard being a parent.”
“Your parents must have loved you though, they took you back. I appreciate you trying to relate to me, but you can’t.”
“I’m not trying to. And you’re right. I have no idea what it was like for you. But I don’t want you to think that the only reason your birth mother left you, was because there was something wrong with you. Maybe your birth mother was a bad person, or maybe she didn’t have a choice. Maybe leaving was the hardest thing she ever had to do. Either way, it wasn’t your fault. There was never anything wrong with you, Loki.”
“Why did your parents take you back?”
“My parents got lucky. My dad found a decent paying job. My mom got a short story published. They could finally afford to raise me. I think that's why they always fawned over me so much. It was guilt. It’s terrifying, isn’t it? How much our parent’s decisions have an effect on us and shapes who we are.”
“Not just our parents. I often think about the lives I’ve impacted. It keeps me up at night, thinking about the 80 people I’ve killed and their families. I wonder if they had wives or husbands. I think about their children still missing them. I didn’t just kill 80 people. I killed relationships, communities. The ability for those people left behind to create any more memories,” Loki’s head was cast down as he spoke. He turned to look at me. “I may not be a monster, but I’ve done monstrous things.”
Loki was right. He wasn’t a bad person, but he had done bad things. And I had to reconcile with the notion that I was in love with someone who had once taken lives. “Would you ever kill again?” I needed Loki to say no, except to my disappointment he didn’t.
“I would,” Loki said without hesitation. “But only if it meant protecting you, or Thor.”
I thought of the stick figure Loki had drawn of himself killing Eric. I knew deep down if, given the chance, he would make that drawing a reality. I never wanted someone to kill for me. That's not what love meant to me, and I didn't deserve such a reaction. "Don't kill for me Loki. Trust me. I'm not worth it."
"You are though. I want to find those boys who hurt you and rip their throats out," Loki declared with clenched fists.
"If you really loved me you wouldn't."
Loki leaned forward. I closed my eyes as he pressed his lips to my forehead. "Are you ready to go home?" Loki asked.
“Yeah I-“
“Once I'm with the Wizard My whole life will change 'Cuz once you're with the Wizard No one thinks you're strange!”
I walked over to where I had left Wanda’s phone and immediately recognised the number displayed on the screen.
“Stark again?”
“I’ll meet you by the elevator.”
Loki narrowed his eyes at me. “You sure?”
“Yeah. It’s fine.” I waited for Loki to leave the room and listened as his footsteps faded down the hall before I answered the phone.
“Hi, mom.” I had almost forgotten what my mother's voice sounded like. When I heard her say my name over the phone I was transported back to early mornings, when she would call Emily and me down for breakfast. We would fight each other for the last pancake and laugh at our father’s jokes.
“While I was at work I received a call from a number I didn’t recognise. Come to find it was my daughter who said she never wanted to speak to me again.”
“Mom-“ I said rolling my eyes.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes. I’m fine. I’ve missed you, that’s all.”
“You sure. You sounded pretty stressed in your message. I was wondering if it had anything to do with the attack on the Avengers compound.”
“You know about that?”
“Yes. They have news stations in London," my mother said, confirming she was still be working for her UK publisher in the process.
“You always said the news depressed you.”
“I felt the need to watch when I found out the place where you work had an anthrax outbreak. I'm your mother. I worry. You're safe though, right? Do you need me to fly down?"
"Mom, I'm fine," I said. I pictured my worried mother mentally calculating how long it would take for her to fly from London to New York.”
"Okay. Well, do you want to talk then?"
Tears I didn't realise I had been holding poured out. I held Wanda's phone away from my ear, not wanting my mother to hear me cry. I swallowed back my anguish. "Yeah, that would be nice,” I told my mom, fighting to stop my voice from quivering. “I've been thinking a lot about Emily."
"Me too. I think about her every day."
"We could have done more for her."
"Your father and I still go to schools every year to talk to students about the impacts of bullying." I shook my head. After all this time my mom still didn't understand. "I know we can't bring Emily back, but I hope we can prevent another family from going through what we went through."
"Mom, enough already. Okay," I no longer tried to hold back my tears. "Emily didn't kill herself because she was bullied. She killed herself because of us."
"Stop blaming yourself."
"It was us, mom. We treated Emily like the black sheep of the family."
"I was a good mother," my mom asserted.
"You are mom. You were a wonderful mother to me, but not to Emily. And I was a horrible sister. We let her down."
"I see."
"Mom, I don't want to fight with you.“
"I've got to get back to work. I'm 5 hours ahead of you."
"Of course."
"I love you," my mom quickly said before hanging up. I wiped the tears from my eyes. I knew I did the right thing. As painful as it was, my mother needed to be told the truth.
************************************************ "Everything alright?" Loki asked when I met him at the elevator. Loki seemed to be observant when it came to me, but it wouldn't take a genius to notice my eyes were puffy and read.
"I'm okay," I lied. Loki didn't pry further. We entered the elevator in silence, standing side by side, looking straight ahead. I'm not sure who made the first move. I just remember tossing my dress onto the ground and then wrapping my hands around the back of Loki's neck. I kissed Loki as if he were the very air I needed to breathe. He moaned into my mouth and pushed my back against the elevator. In one swift movement, he lifted my leg around his waist and leaned further into me, leaving me breathless. I looked to see what floor we were on. It was 10.
“We have time,” Loki told me, kissing my neck. I didn’t have a chance to ask what he had in mind. Loki already had me turned around, my chest pressed against the metal walls of the elevator. I could see Loki’s reflection. He pulled my sweat pants down. I instinctually arched my back in anticipation. “Don’t wake the compound.”
“Oh god,” I moaned when Loki’s fingers trailed across my clit. My eyes widened in a panic and I quickly covered my mouth.
I turned my head just slightly to see we were on the 9th floor. I could hear Loki unzipping his pants. I reached behind me and began stroking Loki’s cock. If it wasn’t for Loki holding me in place I would have turned around and dropped to my knees and worshipped him like the god he was. As we approached the 8th floor, Loki grabbed my hips. On the 7th floor, I could feel the tip of his cock running along my pussy. And on the 6th floor, I let out a moan of ecstasy when the full length of Loki’s cock entered me.
There was no sense in covering up my moans. The sound of Loki fucking me against the wall was loud enough anyway. “Fuck, yes,” I practically screamed. I should have been worried that the floor numbers were getting lower and lower but all I could think about was how incredible I felt. Loki trailed kisses along the back of my neck in an attempt to stifle his own moans. I didn’t want him to be quiet. Knowing he was getting pleasure from fucking me in the elevator just turned me on even more.
Loki began thrusting into me harder and faster as we started to approach the last two floors. “You may want to cum now,” Loki told me. “Unless you want the night watchman on the ground floor lobby to see you like this.”
“Just make me cum. Don’t stop.” I wouldn’t care if the entire compound saw me with Loki. He clearly cared about my modesty though, just as we landed on the first floor, Loki leaned over and pressed the button to stop the door from opening. “I thought you would have gotten tired of being locked in a room with me,” I teased.
“It’s technically an elevator.” I gasped as Loki slowly pulled his cock out of me. “And I would never grow tired of you around my cock.”
“Ahhh,” I cried in pleasure at the feeling of Loki filling me again. I could feel every ridge of his cock inside of me and my own juices dripping down my leg. My legs began to shake. Loki’s strong arms held me in place so that I wouldn’t fall to the floor. “Harder,” I pleaded.
Loki’s palm spread across the grey metal wall. And I watched, as it slowly turned into a mirror. I stared back at my reflection. The button of Loki’s shirt I had on was undone. My hair was a tangled mess and my lips were swollen. “I want you to watch yourself as you cum,” Loki whispered in my ear.
This beautiful woman in the mirror, whose mouth fell open as she confidently demanded to be fucked, was unrecognizable. And yet she had my eyes and my skin. And fuckkkk Loki was amazing.
“Oh my god. I’m going to cum,” I cried.
“Don’t close your eyes.”
I followed Loki’s command and watched my pupils dilate as I felt Loki pour himself into me. Even after Loki came his thrust never faltered. I clenched my inner walls around Loki, wanting to squeeze out every last drop of his cum as my own pleasure built up inside of me.
“Loki. Fuckkkkk,” I reached over, and wrapped my hand around the back of Loki’s neck, pulling him in closer to me.
Loki continued his thrust, allowing me to ride out my climax. I thought about Loki’s cum and how inhumanly delicious it tasted. I pulled up my pants and without any hesitation, I dropped to my knees and brought Loki to my mouth, savouring the taste of myself and him.
“Well aren’t you a good girl,” Loki complimented with hooded eyes. His warm cum fell down the back of my throat.
I wiped my hand over my mouth before standing up. The elevator doors chimed seconds after I pressed the release button. I strutted into the lobby, leaving a stunned Loki to gain his exposure.
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Loki and I steadily approached the night watchman on guard. The 1:00 am shift was always relegated to the rookies. Travis used to complain about it all the time. The young security guard tonight, was sitting behind the lobby desk, engrossed in his comic.
“Hey,” I said, ringing the bell on the lobby desk. “Hello,” I repeated.
“Can I help you?” The night watchman said in a monotone voice.
“Hi, Javier,” I smiled, as I leaned forward to read the young man’s name tag. “I’m just going to take Loki out for a bit,” I pointed over my shoulder with my thumb. “But don’t worry, I’ll return him later today by 9:00 am. Sound good?”
“I uh-“ Javier stuttered. He was probably unsure if he even had the authority to argue.
“It’ll be good,” I announced, clapping my hands and giving a single nod. “Good talk, Javier. We’ll see you later.”
“Do you need to sign some papers to check him out or something?” Javier called after us.
“After you Bug,” Loki said, holding the door open, ignoring the inexperienced guard.
I breathed in the cool morning air once again. There was still the mystery of who killed Daniel, and who planted the bomb. I still had to clear TJ’s name and find a lawyer named Matt who attended the same church as Stanley. But Lockdown had finally ended and freedom had begun.
End of Volume 1
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Author’s commentary
I’m back. Thanks, everyone for your patience, as I was helping a friend with a personal matter. I’ve been wanting to write some parts in Loki’s POV, but didn’t like the idea of abruptly changing perspectives. So I’ve decided to take this story in a slightly different direction. I’m going to split the story into two parts; the second part will be in Loki’s POV.
Tag list under the cut.