li

isang mag-aaral mula sa timog 

[mahiwagangdaraga]

it’s getting bad again

[mahiwagangdaraga]

i just made the deepest cut i could ever do, grabe an sakit talaga pa. 😭 sakit talaga na you’re giving us no choice but to file a complaint against you! bat di mo maiwan ang pokpok na yan, why do you chose to hurt us over and over again? decades of complete family was put to waste just because magaling magpaikot ang babaeng yan sa utak at otin mong yawa ka! bakit mas pipiliin mo yang mababang lipad na yan kesa samin na di ka binigyan ng rason para ipafeel na failure ka as a parent? i am disappointed of what kind of a man you turned out to be. binigyan ka lang ng posisyon at pera, akala mo kung sino ka na! tapos yang babae mo na pinagmamayabang sa side ng pamilya mo, pinagsawaan na ng tropa mo. nakakalungkot rin kasi kinukunsinti ka ng mga kapatid mo. magsama sama kayo sa baba! di ako titigil hanggang sa dumating yung panahon na maapakan ko kayong lahat.

[mahiwagangdaraga]

this is how i look after i got up and went back to work. period pains are the worst thing 😭☹️ i swear kaninang umaga i suddenly cry, by 8am pumasok ako sa work then by 10 nagpaalam akong umuwi kasi sobrang sakit na talaga ng abdominal cramps and back ache pa. then i cried again HAHAHA still not crazy tho. by 11:30 everything went smoothly 😂

[mahiwagangdaraga]

it’s been a week since i got here, ang laki ng leap na ginawa ko sa gitna ng pandemya 😂. laking adjustment kasi di pa fully developed ang place unlike cbo and dvo. sobrang strict rin ng LGU dito. But the good thing is i can move freely naaaaaa! being in a city where no one knows a shit about you is a relief.

[mahiwagangdaraga]

everything is starting to fall to its place, good things come to those who wait.

well, i can only hope for better days.

[mahiwagangdaraga]

nakakabakla naman ‘to si miss pero thankful kasi mukha ko napili niya 😂✨

[mahiwagangdaraga]

Haaaaay, i really wanna leave. It’s always been like this, tinatakasan ang problema tapos babalik na parang walang nangyare. I hate how there are parts of me na parang naihahalintulad ko kay papa. I hate how i grew liking the same things with him. I hate how fond i am with him. I hate continuing my dream as military doctor because of him. Pero wala akong magawa, there’s no gonna be middle ground. We hate middle ground and half ass things. I hate how he thought me that; “if u want it so bad, you have to go for it”. I hate that for a time he was a good father. Now, i just wanna leave this place, work my ass out and continue my studies.

[mahiwagangdaraga]

pixel and disappoinments

[mahiwagangdaraga]

getting my shit together 2020

[mahiwagangdaraga]

somewhere in blossom fields 🥺

[mahiwagangdaraga]

[mahiwagangdaraga]

i’m starting to be a freak

[mahiwagangdaraga]

i don’t know what to do anymoreeee... i want to escape this reality

[mahiwagangdaraga]

i miss this good girl so muuuuuch :((( ako talaga yung siraulo na kinakausap to sa detachment habang wala sila papa. my vent dog 😩🥺 pero pinamigay siya ni papa 🥺😭

[mahiwagangdaraga]

i will never forget how this year went; how God redirected my plans to fix my family issues, how my father ruined my mental state and medical school applications, how i forced myself to fuck someone just to distract my thoughts, how i became the most hated niece on my father’s side and how much time i wasted figuring how to continue this shit.

but i’m blessed though.

[mahiwagangdaraga]

sabotaging my life

[mahiwagangdaraga]

bad habits