Quareia
There is something important that I want to say but I’m unsure of how to do that without context. Heck even with the context I’m still unsure.
I guess it started yesterday when I and my friends were on a charity shop binge - an event where we attempt to visit as many charity shops in our area. It was in our last charity shop, an Oxfam in Hampstead that I found a deck of, what I assumed to be tarot cards. They were kinda weird and the box proclaimed them to be a magicians deck but what the hell I had to have them. So I bought them.
I played with them a bit and that’s when I noticed they didn’t have anything like the ace of wands or anything even remotely similar but I liked them. Regardless, I felt a bit iffy about them because they weren’t what I was expecting.
When I got home, I googled the name at the back ‘Quareia’ and immediately came across the website, I immediately was looking for information on the deck and kind of ignored anything that wasn’t directly linked to it. I found the information I wanted and was surprised to see that they had a book describing the meanings and everything online, for free.
It wasn’t until the next day, today, that I started looking at the program properly and what I found was a free program willing to introduce people into the occult and help them on their journey! EPIC!
I stumbled upon the student handbook (?) and was interested in the things they were teaching however there was a part of me that wanted to completely ignore all of this and try to navigate this world without the support of this program. But at the same time, I wanted to do this program so badly. I wanted guidance.
So I thought on it and I came to the realization that what was making me react negatively to the course was the idea that it was final, that this is it. You learn this form, this way and that’s all you practice. I tried to tell myself that it was okay, that I would take this course, I would grow and once I ‘outgrew’ it so to speak I’ d be able to move on and find other ways to grow. Maybe I’d only do a few of the lessons maybe I’d to the whole apprentice course and want to carry on. It would be fine.
But at the same time, I genuinely feel as if I start this path I won’t be able to retain that freedom, that I’ll be stuck in this one way of thinking, of practice. It’s a scary thought, especially because the reason I decided to pursue this practice was because of the freedom it offered. The entire thing is just so different but there’s a part of me that wants to do it.
I would very much like to hear back from other Witches who are maybe doing the course right now, on what they feel. If they felt like this if they feel this fear is unfounded.
Maia