Red vs. Blue starters (Volume 4)
What happened to your body, ___?
I know my name! You can ask me, if you forget.
Hey, is it hot in here? Who wants to help me out of this heavy armor? This breastplate is so itchy.
You must have me confused with someone whoâs brave.
No, donât duck, that makes you harder to hit.
I only eat foods that begin with vowels.
I canât have you not paying attention. You have to be alert! Constant vigilance! Composed, attentive!
I donât know what youâre talking about, I didnât see a damn thing.
You know what? I work better alone.
I need you to step up to the plate. Youâre my number 2 man now.
Iâm gonna go over to the chow hall and secure some Oreos. I got a diet to keep up.
I wonder, if I killed a ghost, would it come back as a ghost of a ghost?
Oh man, I canât believe this. My life was going exactly as planned. How did it all go so wrong?
Shut up, you ruined my life.
I think I might need a tetanus shot.
Whoa, man, what is that stench? Is a skunk juggling dead hamsters in here?
Youâre not gonna be able to figure out alien language by experimentation, give it up.
I donât understand. Are- are- are you hungry? Are you cold? Do you need a blanket? ___, do you want some hot dogs in a blanket?
Look, no offense, but I donât believe in you. Youâre just a product of my imagination.
Now if youâll excuse me, I need to go dig a hole to live in.Â
My logical data analysis sector indicates that would be highly unlikely. And my bullshit meter agrees.
Now hold still. For science.
___, stop screening my calls!
This job is the best! I canât believe you quit!
Youâre not exactly the most diplomatic of individuals.
I feel that Iâm gonna regret this, but I feel even more that I just donât care, and that watching this whole thing unravel might be kinda interesting. Go for it.
I know youâre ridinâ high on your new promotion right now, but donât think you can order me around.
We donât wanna hurt them, I just wanna make them totally jealous for kicking me out.
Son of a Ben ânâ Jerry, whoâs gonna help me eat all this ice cream we found?
Sorry to fuck up your quest, dude, but Iâm not goinâ.Â
You better hope that I donât die, 'cause if I do, youâre the one taking care of my kids.
I donât know, I think youâre just telling me what I wanna hear.
But youâre a slothful idiot! Treason takes effort! I never expected this from you!
What if I have to kill stuff, dude? Iâm a lover, not a fighter.
I feel obligated to say something encouraging.
Come on, hustle up! If you gotta use the bathroom, do it now 'cause Iâm not pullinâ over.
You donât make a very good hostage taker. My last prisoner experience was much cooler.
I think yelling should be reserved for only the most critical of situations. Like when someone drinks milk out of the carton!
You have a hole? Whoa, now thatâs cool!
Earth does not suck, Earth rules. We invented the telephone.
If you donât like the plants idea, how do ya feel about a fountain in the armory? That place is so gloomy.
Dear God, the madness is spreading! Itâs only a matter of time before it takes me!
So far this quest is a fuckinâ breeze. Iâve already killed a dead monster. Whatâs next, we gonna open an unlocked door? Rescue a princess from herself?
This is some greeting. I come to help you guys and you ambush me.
Wait, is this some really weird form of torture?
I lost one of my mittens. We have to go back.
And thatâs how I rescued you and saved the day. The end. Any questions?
As you know, Iâve never liked you. Not even a little bit.
I have a first place ribbon in doing nothing. Itâs the same ribbon as last place. Itâs purple.
This conversationâs stupid, and Iâm hungry. Whereâs the food?
God damn, man, I would love to live in your world for about ten minutes.
You fool! Canât you see Iâm busy with an evil plot?
Iâm not speaking with you until we punish your insubordination and treason.
Okay, this is officially more boring than any of the other times Iâve been to court.
Oh my God, that cake is huge! Itâs big enough to fit a person in it!
Iâm just using your body to fulfill my evil plans. When weâre done, Iâm going to throw your rotting carcass in to a swamp and let the beasts feed on your entrails.
I took four years of high school Spanish. Thatâs the best way to learn any language.
Here are your orders: eliminate the enemy. Good luck. Also, try to do better and please win.
A sniper rifle is a cowardâs weapon. When you kill yer enemy, you wanna look in his eyes so he knows youâre the one who beat him to death!
Uh maybe we should, um, have the doctor explain, uh, just how babies are made, yâknow, uh, in case someone in the group, uh, may not exactly know how that⊠happens.
I donât want to live in a world without exploding!
See, these tools can be confusing sometimes. Thatâs why doctors have to go to school for so long. Not that Iâm actually a doctor, mind you.
Would this be a bad time to mention that my stomach just started hurting really bad?
How can you think of soup at a time like this?Â
We think that itâs your turn to surrender.